Well they are time bombs, and they are ticking
And the only quesion's when they'll blow up.
And they'll blow up, we know this wihout a doubt,
'Cause they're those elves--you know those elves
Who let their emotions get the best of them.
(Chorus)
And I've contrived some sort of a plan
To help my fellow human
Let's get emotional elves to all wear One Rings
So we'll be tipped off
To when they're consumed by Sauron's evil power,
And we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking
(end chorus)
She's so fair, but she doesn't always act that way.
Her mood's out sailing on the swan ship almost every day.
She said to me that she's so joyful it's depressing,
And all I said was "Someone get that elf a One Ring!"
If it's trauma you want, then look no further;
They're like the real world meets the fantasy world
Meets our very lives
And it just slays me how they get away with murder;
They'll anger you, then bat their eyes,
Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize!
(repeat chorus)
She's so fair but she doesn't always act that way
Her mood's out sailing on the swan ship almost every day
She said to me that she's so distressed that it's soothing,
And all I said was "Someone get that elf a One Ring!"
(Bridge)
'Cause when it's red means watch your head because you're probably
The last person in Middle-Earth right now she wants to see
And when it's blue it means that you should summon her immediately
And court her now because she'll most likely agree
And when it's green it simply means that she is quite distressed,
And when it's clear it means she's completely emotionless
And that's all right, I must confess.
We all know the elves that I am talking about
She liked you in the Second Age but now it's the Third Age,
And she has to wash her hair.
And it just figures that we'll never figure them out
First she's Varda and then she's Morgoth;
At least she makes a lovely pair.
One Ring, oh One Ring,
Oh tell me, will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of elves and their emotions, play it back in slow motion
So that I may understand the complex infrastructure
Known as the elven mind.
Heh...that was terrible