Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans or the words to Live On Tomorrow by Juliana Hatfield. SORRY FOR THE DELAY! was being a pain in the ass and wouldn't let me log on so I got help from my lovely sidekick Scorpio Serpent. She's uploading my chapters now okies?

Hand in Hand

Chapter Twenty-Six: Live On Tomorrow

1st December

Raven gave a wry smile in the direction of her broken mirror. She raised her eyes and glared defiantly at her distorted reflection. She had gotten up extra early today, too many days she had lay awake staring at the ceiling unable and disinclined to rise and face down, too many days had she lay rotting in her own skin while those around her grew more and more concerned. But not anymore. She had rose at dawn and showered; she had dressed in her uniform and taken the time to conceal her wounds in bandages that had been previously soaked in alcohol. It would prevent infection, or at least that was what the packet had said. She had brushed her hair pin straight and had polished the jewel on her forehead until it gleamed in the light like a precious gem.

She refused to allow herself to be manipulated by her non-existent emotions, refused to let her paranoia get the better of her.

For the past two days she hadn't left the safety of her room, much to everyone else's alarm, they had constantly been banging on her door, trying to get her to eat, to come out and talk. Even Aqualad had visited and had stayed outside longer than the others trying to coax her into some form of conversation. But eventually her mono-syllable answers were too much for him and he had left with the promise of returning tomorrow.

Raven had been thinking, she had avoided her mirror at all costs, nevermore was seen as a prison now and she had no desire to set foot in there again. She half feared what would be waiting for her but she told herself that she would deal with that problem when the time was right and she felt that she was ready to oppose with the horrors of her mind.

The thoughts that she had been thinking were all the same and no matter what she did the thoughts never changed. Even when she willed them to they seemed to echo through her soul, through her room until she couldn't concentrate on anything else. But now after hours of undisturbed meditation she had come up with a way to push all the disturbing pictures and memories into the darkest corner of her psyche. To a place where they wouldn't rise to torment her again.

##Put me in the shower,

Pull me out of bed,

Am I only dreaming?

Or did I wake up dead? ##

She had ignored the pangs of hunger that had visited her some times during the day, she didn't want to let herself be bothered by something as mundane as the need to eat or consume products deemed safe for consumption.

She was half demon after all, there had to be something about her ethnicity that allowed her some leverage over the average teenage body and persona. Even if was as microscopic as being able to restrain the desire to survive.

She looked away from the mirror and allowed herself a brittle smile. Turning she walked, well technically she glided, over to her door. Using her powers she pushed the handle down and then stepped out into the corridor. She knew that the others would already be up, after all now it was almost time for lunch but what greeted her when she looked up from her thoughts threw her completely.

Had she not known about Beast Boy's apparently officious love for all things Christmassy she would have been surprised...but however the overly decorated hall still made her pause.

Colourful banners were hung along the ceilings where the walls met the roofs; glitter had been thrown over the walls and over the carpet, instead of the normal plain lampshades there were red and green Chinese lanterns. Every few feet on the wall, small pictures of winter related landscapes had been hung up.

Raven shook her head and instead of facing the arduously long trek to and down the stairs, she merely teleported herself to the kitchen.

With a swirl of dense purple mist she appeared amongst the other titans. Starfire was cooking cookies, Beast Boy had flour all over him, Robin was struggling with something that looked like a long red piece of rope. Terra was half way up a ladder attaching mistletoe to the doorframes while Cyborg held said ladder steady.

Raven put her hand on her hips when she grasped the fact that no one realised she was there. She raised both her eyebrows, "Isn't it a bit early to put up all these decorations?" she asked casually.

What happened next was very...interesting.

At the sound of Raven's voice Terra gave a startled squawk and fell backwards; she waved her arms wildly as she crashed into Cyborg. Cyborg yelled and stumbled backwards tripping over Beast Boy in the process. Beast Boy crashed to the ground his elbow knocking the mixing bowl Star was holding out of her hands. The same mixing bowl flew high into the air and came back down, with a soft 'plop' right on top of dear Robin's head. Robin's faced suddenly morphed into an expression of utter disgust.

"I have that effect on most people." Said Raven shrugging sitting down on a stool next to the counter.

##Throw me in the garbage,

Shackled up in chains,

But I still got my boots on,

So I can walk away##

Robin lifted his hands and wiped away the brown mess from his eyes. He shook the stuff from his fingers onto the floor and dropped the rope he was holding. Not rope, Raven realised, but a string of red fairy lights. Nice. "Raven?"

Raven nodded to him, "Robin."

Starfire gave a small scream of delight and lunged at Raven; she wrapped her long arms around her and hugged her tightly. Perhaps even too tightly. Raven choked on her breath and had the sudden image of all her ribs cracking under the pressure. She squirmed away from the over zealous alien girl. "Oh Raven! I am so glad you have come forth from your sleeping compartment! Truthfully I was getting very worried!"

Raven finally managed to dislodge herself from Starfire's grasp and she looked around the kitchen at them all, trying to read their faces. Either they were still suffering from shock or were really good at hiding what they felt. Only Terra seemed to have no qualms about showing what she was feeling.

The blonde's eyes were bored and filled with disdain.

Raven felt something inside her growl in protest at this. Hatred flitted through her mind along with the need to do Terra in once and for all. Raven's glare darkened greatly. The blonde took a small step back and lost her condescending smirk.

Satisfied Raven sneered, "I was busy thinking." She drawled, "You shouldn't have been worried."

"But you have not eaten!"

"I wasn't hungry."

This remark of hers was met by a few moments of silence. It seemed no one knew what to say to that.

"Well, that's a shame." Simpered Terra putting on a fake smile.

Raven resisted the urge to scowl; instead she kept her face expressionless, "No not really. My eating habits tend to have little effect on the rest of the world. Had I known that it would have caused such discontent amongst you I would have ordered a takeout to make you happy." She placed her hands on the table and then looked up at them all, "You can carry on now. You didn't have to stop on my account."

Terra obviously was the first to move, she grabbed the stick of mistletoe that had fallen to the floor and straightened herself up a bit. She nudged Cyborg, "Can you steady the ladder for me please?" she asked in a voice so full of sugar it would make your teeth melt.

Only Raven seemed to notice this and she snorted quietly to herself. This was going to be an interesting day.

##A heartbeat says you haven't died,

You gotta try to stay alive,

Leave me to the vultures,

Throw me to the wolves,

I'll live on tomorrow,

And purify the soul##

-FIVE HOURS LATER-

"No, not THAT one, THAT one! The red one!" shrieked Beast Boy from his vantage point on top of the ladder. His finger was pointing madly towards one of the hanging decorations that were to cover the tree. The other titans were on their hands and knees on the floor, which unfortunately was covered in thousands of the seasonal and glittering things. "The RED one!" he frantically gestured while he was speaking. The huge green tree before him was bare and towered so high that its tip just brushed the ceiling.

Robin lifted himself up off his hands and put his fist on his hip, "Beast Boy, there are hundreds of red ones! Which red one?"

"That one!" yelled Beast Boy as if it was obvious, "The Star!"

Robin growled, "BB, you're going to have to be a bit more specific, half of the stars are red." He turned and began picking up random decorations. They'd been at this for three hours already hunting out the decorations that Beast Boy had told them were vital. "This one?"

"No."

"This one?"

"Nope."

"This one then?"

"Wrong again."

"Oh for..." Robin began looking around at the seemingly identical red stars. His eyes were narrowed to mere slits behind his mask. His annoyance was only just barely restrained.

"You mean this one?" asked Raven holding out an eight-pointed red star that glittered in the light.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Beast Boy bouncing slightly on top of the ladder, "See how easy it was to find Robin? Now quick pass it here!"

Robin turned to Raven, "Thanks." He mumbled.

"Just helping out a team mate." She returned and dropped the star into his lap; she turned away and went back to shuffling through the piles of purple and blue fairy lights.

Robin winced slightly as one of the sharp points of the stars decided to become rebellious as she dropped it onto his lap. He plucked it up and handed it to Beast Boy.

Hours later, much to everyone else's consternation the tree still wasn't done. Beast Boy had insisted on getting everything perfect. Nothing was allowed to be a millimetre out of place. And to top it all after all the hanging decorations had been put on the little green elf had decided it would be better if the lights went on first. So everything came off. And everything was still off. Apparently the lights had to be in perfect concentric circles.

"Surely they are right now Beast Boy!" Starfire exclaimed as BB stepped back to admire his handy work.

Beast Boy looked thoughtful, "Maybe a spiral pattern would be better..."

There were groans from all around the room.

"It doesn't matter how you put the lights!" snapped Raven, nearly at her wits end. True she didn't see the point in Christmas but she was willing to go along with it for everyone else's sake, but this must have been a form of torture. She was beginning to think that she should have just stayed in her room. At this rate they'd be lucky if they could finish for new years never mind Christmas.

##Dump me in the ocean,

Tied to a piano,

But you forgot to rip my heart out,

Before you let me go##

"Yes it does, if the lights are out of sync, then so is everything else." He put his hands on his hips, "It's like painting with a toothbrush. It's just not gonna look right!"

Raven rubbed her temple, his irritating voice was slowly driving her up the wall. How on earth was she supposed to act as if everything was normal when all this palaver was going on? She sighed internally, things just seemed to keep getting in her way, there was only so much she could do herself, like pushing down her feelings, disregarding her paranoia but the rest had to come from someone else. Of course nobody else knowing wasn't helping either.

##A heartbeat says you haven't died,

You gotta try to stay alive##

Raven looked at the bored faces of her team mates. She wondered what had possessed her to become a titan in the first place. She couldn't remember. Maybe she lost a bet. She turned her eyes to the clock that hung suspended on the wall. The second hand ticked slowly. She thought that the monotonous sound was a lot more interesting than Beast Boy's incessant babble. Grimacing she settled back for a better view...

##Lock me in the basement,

Without anything to eat,

You can hurt my body,

But you can't hurt me##