Title: Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Author: Kimberly21570
Fandoms: Guiding Light / All My Children
Pairings: Olivia and Natalia / Lena and Bianca
Disclaimer: The characters of Olivia and Emma Spencer, Natalia and Rafe Rivera, Phillip Spaulding, Ava Peralta and her late son, Max Harlan Lewis, Lillian Raines, Frank, Buzz, and Marina Cooper, Doris and Ashlee Wolfe, and Mel Boudreau are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The original characters of Detective Sergeant Langston Malloy, Attorney Danika Kováč, and their daughter, McKenna, Jacqueline (Jacqué) Morgan, Dantéa (Téa) Rivera, Dr. Valerie Blaine, Dr. Maya Carter, Dr. Kaitlynn MacKenzie, Nurse Casey Graves, Commander Marc Daniels and his second-in-command, Agent Logan Shaw are the property of this author, and any resemblance to fictional characters, or real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
No copyright infringement intended with regard to Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, AMC, ABC/Disney, or any other entity. With the exceptions of the Farmhouse of Love, Company, and Cedars Hospital, the settings, dialogue, and story content in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply.
Many thanks to my friend and favorite FFW, WickedWanda926, and to my friend newfan64, for their ongoing willingness to edit my stories. Words cannot express how much I appreciate the two of you and your steadfast support of me, both personally, and as a would-be writer. Due to the rush to get you all this update, however, this content has not been edited. Thus, any mistakes contained herein are solely my responsibility. Thank you to all who continue to read and/or comment. I appreciate the time you have invested in this story, and truly hope you continue to enjoy.
Rating: Chapter 18, overall, is rated PG-13 for coarse language. Read: Olivia Spencer is super pissed, and she doesn't care who she offends. This particular section is far less intense, but she's not finished being pissed.
This update isn't as long as I had hoped it would be, but I heard from a few people who just needed a little pick-me-up after last nights' upheaval, so I wanted to get y'all a little something. It's not the "happy" I wish I could give you, but I do think it has a touch of hopefulness.
Be kind to yourselves and to each other. We'll get through this together.
Much love,
Kim
Confessions Lead to Strange Bedfellows
Copyright May 2009
"For the greater the love, the greater the grief, and the stronger the faith, the more savagely will Satan storm its fortress."
— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Chapter 18.5 – What Price We Pay:
Wednesday, July 8, 2009… Natalia's ICU Cubical, Cedars Hospital—3:30 p.m. Central Daylight Time
Natalia was still sleeping. She'd awoken briefly following the surgery, obviously groggy, and thus, disoriented, but she'd been awake, and according to her nurse, that was a positive development. Before she could even ask about the baby, she'd fallen asleep again, leaving Olivia to worry more. Noting Olivia's unease, the nurse had reassured her it was normal, given the anesthesia. Not that Olivia didn't know that—at least in theory; but she was thankful for the reassurance. Everything about this situation had her rattled, and she couldn't think clearly.
According to Dr. Blaine's post-surgery consult, Natalia was still in serious condition, and would remain in the ICU for the foreseeable future. Mercifully, she was sleeping soundly, thanks to the pain medications Dr. Blaine had ordered, and for that, a part of Olivia was grateful as she sat there next to her, holding her hand. If she were awake, she would be asking about Téa, and Olivia couldn't handle that. Not right now. Not after the visit she'd just made to the NICU. The baby was so tiny—tinier than Max when he was born, and Olivia felt overwhelmed with emotion just looking at her lying there in that incubator with all those tubes and wires connected to her fragile little body, keeping her alive—just barely.
Together, Olivia and Frank had listened intently as Dr. Carter explained about Téa's condition. There was a lot of talk about short-term complications, some of it expressed in words that they could barely comprehend. But they didn't need to understand the medical jargon to get the gist—despite the combined best efforts of Dr. Mackenzie, Dr. Carter, and the NICU team, their daughter was in trouble.
Frank and Marina were with Téa now, Frank not wanting to leave his daughter's side. And Rafe was with Ashlee, Lillian and Buzz in the waiting room just down the hall. He'd been in to see Natalia briefly, but the atmosphere in the ICU made him anxious—all those machines and noises. He hadn't been able to bring himself to see Téa at all, because he knew the NICU would be even scarier, and he just wasn't ready to face it. Olivia could certainly empathize.
Mel had come by not long after Natalia was out of surgery, offering what encouragement and support she could with regard to Natalia and Téa's medical conditions, as well as her apologies for taking so long to get back with Olivia. She took the opportunity to encourage Olivia to have medical power of attorney paperwork drawn up for the two of them as well as Emma and Téa, post haste; to which Olivia muttered a sarcastic comment thanking her for bringing that up now, rather than six months ago when they first got together. Mel took the chastisement with a grain of salt—it was Olivia Spencer, after all, and she was under serious emotional stress. No one understood that as well as Mel did, given that she had been through the loss of Max with Olivia and their families. The loss of her nephew was a crushing blow to them all. She couldn't imagine having to face that again, and her heart went out to Olivia, Natalia, and their entire family.
While Natalia was in surgery, Olivia reached out to Jen and Doris, bringing them up to speed with what was happening. Jen was quick to reassure her that all would be handled at the Beacon, so she could just focus on Natalia and the baby. And busy as she was, Doris offered to clear her schedule, and come to her immediately. Thanking her, Olivia declined, assuring her that there was nothing she could really do. She did let her know that Ashlee was there with Rafe, and that she so appreciated the support Ashlee was lending to their family. If not for her intervention with Rafe, both Natalia and Téa could have been lost. It was a truth Olivia would never forget.
But now here she was, sitting with Natalia, her thoughts never far from their precious new daughter who was fighting for her life at the other end of a sterile hospital hallway. "You know I'm not religious, Natalia, but I swear to you, I'm praying my heart out for you and our baby girl," she whispered, pressing her lips against the hand she held tenderly in her own. "I've been begging God for His mercy and grace. I just… I don't know if He'll listen to me though, given my track record with Him, so… I really need you to help me out here. I need you to be okay, because I can't do this on my own."
"You won't have to, Liv," Natalia managed groggily, as she stirred in her bed.
Olivia gasped, and smiled against Natalia's hand before pressing another kiss to her knuckles. It was the first time she'd heard Natalia's sweet voice since their arrival in the ER last night. "Natalia," she breathed.
Standing up, she leaned over, pressing kisses to Natalia's forehead, cheek, and temple. "I've never heard anything more beautiful in my life, than the sound of your voice right now."
"I'm right here, Honey," Natalia said softly. "And you're gonna hear plenty more of it, I promise."
"Thank God," Olivia declared, a giddy chuckle tumbling from her lips. "Because I'm terrible at this prayer thing."
A faint smile played on Natalia's lips. "We're both still alive, aren't we?" She knew it was true because Olivia had said she was praying for them both.
Olivia smiled. "Yes," she said triumphantly. "Yes, you are."
"Then I think you're doing great so far," Natalia declared. She struggled to sit upright, and Olivia cautioned her to be careful. "I need to go see Téa."
With a gentle hand, Olivia settled her. "Let me call for your nurse," she suggested, reaching for the call button. "You can't go anywhere until Val checks you out." It was thanks to Val that she'd been allowed to stay in the ICU with Natalia, and she didn't want to chance having that privilege taken away.
Exhausted and in some moderate pain, Natalia didn't have the strength to argue. Instead, she simply nodded her head in agreement.
"Well, welcome back to the land of the conscious, Ms. Rivera," Natalia's nurse greeted cheerily upon entry into the cubical moments later. She looked to be in her early thirties, and she was wearing the most adorable yellow scrubs with hearts and teddy bears scattered about the top. Her thick, ash-blonde hair was pulled back in a messy tuft, and the bright smile on her face reflected in her deep brown eyes. "My name's Casey, and I'll be taking care of you today."
"Hi, Casey," Natalia croaked out hoarsely. Parched, she licked her lips. "May I have some water?" she requested.
Olivia glanced at Casey, seeking permission.
Casey nodded in approval. "Sip it slowly though, and don't drink a lot at once," she said, as she pulled the blood pressure cuff from the monitor on the wall with practiced ease. "It could make you nauseous due to the anesthesia, and trust me, you don't want to vomit with that incision if you can help it."
"Sounds like you speak from experience," Natalia responded warily.
Casey smiled. "I've been doing this for a while."
Moving toward the tray, Olivia unraveled the cellophane from the plastic cup, tossing it into the trash. And then lifting the pitcher of water, she filled the cup half way.
"Just gonna bring you up a bit here," Casey commented, at the same time she hit the lift button on the railing, to bring Natalia into a more upright position. "Let me know if you're uncomfortable."
"I'm fine, thanks," Natalia assured. "When can I see my baby?"
"Just as soon as Dr. Blaine gives the okay," Casey said reassuringly. "You'll need to be released from the ICU before you can go down to the NIC-U."
Natalia nodded and sighed. She was afraid to ask how long that would be.
Olivia stepped to her side, offering the cup of water. She held it for Natalia, allowing her to sip through the flexible straw. "Thank you, Honey," she said, when she'd had a small drink.
Nodding, Olivia set the cup on the bedside table, taking Natalia's hand into her own. And then she stood vigil as she watched Casey complete the routine vitals check. It was a process she'd undergone so many times she could rattle the steps off from memory.
"I know it's tough, being away from her right now," Casey empathized, her warm gaze shifting between the two of them. Wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Natalia's other arm, she pressed the button to activate the automated monitor attached to a pole on the cart. Immediately, the cuff began to inflate. While waiting for Natalia's pressure to be read, she clamped a monitor to her index finger, and then dipped the tip of her thermometer into the dispenser, attaching a protective cover, and slipping it into Natalia's mouth.
A few moments later, both machines beeped, indicating the readings were complete. She removed the thermometer first, checked the reading—it was slightly elevated—and then pressed the notch to release the protective covering into the waste basket beside the bed. Turning to her tablet, she noted the readings for temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, and blood gasses in Natalia's electronic chart. And then she released the adhesive strips on the cuff, and removed it from Natalia's arm, returning it to the wire bin on the monitor cart.
"Can you tell me how she's doing?" Natalia asked, once the cuff was released.
Glancing toward Olivia, Casey offered a faint smile, causing Natalia to look to her, as well. Olivia slid a hip up onto the bed beside Natalia, still holding her hand. "She's having a rough time, Sweetheart," Olivia gently reported.
"What rough time?" Natalia queried, the expression on her face matching her distraught tone. She looked to Casey again. "What does that mean?"
"I can't speak to her condition, Ms. Rivera," Casey said regretfully.
"Well, why not?" Natalia challenged, her worried gaze shifting rapidly from Casey to Olivia.
"Because she's not Téa's nurse, Honey," Olivia said gently. "Let's see if we can get Dr. Carter down here to give us an update, okay?" she soothed.
"Dr. Carter?" Natalia questioned, brow furrowed in a mixture of confusion and concern. That was not the pediatrician they'd chosen for their daughter.
"She's the neonatologist who's taking care of your little girl," Casey explained.
"We brought her in from St. Louis," Olivia reported. She glanced at Casey. "Would you mind checking to see if she's available for us?" she requested.
"Of course," Casey immediately agreed. "I'll send a message down to the NIC-U as soon as we're finished here."
"Thank you," Olivia said with a tremulous smile.
"St. Louis? Why?" Natalia demanded. The expression on Olivia's face told her she was hiding something. "What's wrong with the doctors here?"
"Nothing but the best for our baby girl," Olivia smiled, as she squeezed Natalia's hand, hoping to ease her distress. She glanced at Casey, letting her know she had it under control.
Casey nodded. Having efficiently moved through the process of taking Natalia's vitals, she checked in to see if she needed anything else. Once again, Natalia thanked her, and assured her that she was fine, just really tired. "Alright, then," Casey said, after reassuring her that being tired was normal. "I'll let Dr. Blaine know you're awake. I'm sure she'll be in to see you shortly."
Olivia wanted to roll her eyes, and say something sarcastic, but she held her tongue. From personal experience, she knew her idea of "shortly," and the definition of that word coming from medical personnel, to be two entirely different things. "Great," she said. "Thanks."
Once Casey was gone, Natalia pinned Olivia with a glare. "What aren't you telling me?" she demanded.
"Natalia, you need to stay calm," Olivia said with gentle firmness.
"Don't tell me to stay calm," Natalia snapped uncharacteristically. "What's wrong with Téa?"
"Complications are common in preemies, Sweetheart," Olivia tried to reassure.
"Common complications don't require a specialist from another state, Olivia," Natalia challenged, the expression on her face stern. "Now, dammit, tell me what's wrong."
Despite her best effort, Olivia couldn't stifle the grin that tripped across her lips. "Well, you certainly rallied quickly," she said wittily. "I'm betting you'll be out of this ICU and into a private room by days' end."
"Don't try to be cute," Natalia said dryly.
Releasing a slow sigh, Olivia dropped back down onto the bed beside Natalia. "I'm not," she said. "I'm just trying to protect you, and I seem to be failing miserably."
"I'm sorry, Liv," Natalia said penitently. "I'm just really scared."
"I'm scared too, Honey," Olivia said, sounding more vulnerable than Natalia had ever heard her. "And I hate that I don't have any answers."
Natalia's own face took on an expression of extreme vulnerability. "Will you just hold me?" she quietly requested.
"Oh, Sweetheart," Olivia murmured empathically. "Of course I will."
Standing up, she kicked her shoes off, and turning her body, she eased her other hip onto the mattress, sliding in next to Natalia. Being careful of the tubes and wires, she wrapped her right arm around Natalia's shoulders, pulling her close. Intertwining the fingers of her left hand with Natalia's, she pressed a light kiss against her temple. "How's this?" she asked. "Are you comfortable?"
Natalia nodded, and rested her head against Olivia's upper chest. "Tell me about Téa," she requested. "How long is she? How much does she weigh? Does she have hair?"
Olivia smiled. At least one of those questions didn't have a scary answer. "She has quite an impressive mop of jet-black curls, just like you," she reported proudly.
"And?" Natalia pressed, her tone begging the questions.
"She's really tiny, Sweetheart," Olivia said with a hint of concern.
"How tiny?" Natalia pressed.
"Not quite two pounds," Olivia answered reluctantly. "She's about fourteen inches long."
"Oh, God!" Natalia gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. "I really need to see her, Liv," she said, desperately.
"I, uh… I have a few pictures on my phone," Olivia reluctantly admitted. The mere anticipation of Natalia's reaction to seeing their daughter made her nervous as hell.
"Why didn't you say so?" Natalia mumbled. It wasn't a question.
Olivia sighed. "Because I'd hoped to wait until you were a little stronger before showing them to you," she admitted.
"You can't protect me from this, Liv," Natalia said softly. "I need to know."
"I know," Olivia granted. "I just hate that we have to go through this." What she hated even more was the realization that she might've been the cause of it. Frank's tirade earlier that morning had taken more of a toll on her than she realized, and she'd been playing the blame game in her own head most of the day.
"Me, too," Natalia quietly agreed. "Show me the pictures now?" she persisted.
Nodding, Olivia shoved her hand into the front pocket of her jeans, pulling out her phone. She entered her passcode, tapped the icon for her photo albums, and then scrolled down to the file marked "Téa." She'd been adding photos to it since their first ultrasound, and now, it was full of pictures of their new baby girl. "Now, she has lots of tubes and wires, so it looks a little scary," she cautioned. "But Dr. Carter says it's all totally normal, given how early she is, okay?"
Drawing in a deep breath, Natalia nodded as she released it slowly. "I'm ready," she said, hoping she sounded more certain then she actually felt.
"Here she is," Olivia said with affection, turning the screen for Natalia to see. "Mop full of dark curls, and all."
Natalia gasped at the sight of their daughter. "Oh, my god, Liv; she's so tiny," she said, sounding terrified, as her eyes scanned the photo.
Téa had miniature cuffs wrapped around both arms and legs, with thick wire leads attached, and the oxygen tube was so huge it looked like it might swallow her whole. The incubator looked like a giant plastic terrarium compared to her tiny body lying in a thickly padded pallet in the center. And that was nothing in comparison to Olivia's hand there next to her head, providing a scale for measurement—it couldn't have been much larger than a baseball. Suddenly, Natalia realized she'd never been more scared in her entire life.
"Yes, she is, Sweetheart," Olivia said gently. "But Dr. Carter and Dr. Mackenzie agree she's a good weight for being this early."
"Who is Dr. Mackenzie?" Natalia asked, confused.
"She's another specialist we called in," Olivia answered. "She's based in Chicago, but consulting from Geneva where she's teaching right now."
"Geneva, like Switzerland?" Now Natalia was really worried.
"Yes," Olivia confirmed.
"Why?" Natalia scrunched up her face.
"Because she's the best," Olivia answered forthrightly. "She recommended Dr. Carter to us because she couldn't be here personally, but Phillip made sure she was available for consult."
"Phillip," Natalia said, processing the information aloud.
Olivia nodded. "He's been really supportive," she grudgingly admitted.
"And you've allowed him to be," Natalia commented, pleasantly surprised by the change in Olivia's attitude.
"Well, I didn't exactly make it easy for him," Olivia sheepishly confessed.
"Why am I not surprised?" Natalia said with a soft laugh. It wasn't really a question. Her laugh quickly morphed into a moan due to the pain, but she brushed aside the concerned expression on Olivia's face. "I'm fine. Really," she assured.
"You should rest," Olivia said, pressing a gentle kiss to Natalia's temple.
Exhausted, Natalia didn't argue. She simply nodded her head, and leaned it against Olivia's chest again. "Wake me up when Dr. Carter gets here?"
"Of course I will," Olivia said, brushing another kiss against Natalia's temple. "Now sleep."
With Olivia's reassurance, Natalia relaxed against her side, allowing sleep to take her again. And for the first time since Natalia had awoken her last night, Olivia relaxed, as well, pulling her impossibly closer. And in the wake of the events of the past twelve hours, as she held her now, she vowed that she would never take for granted the simple act of holding the woman she loved. Not for one single moment.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009… ICU Waiting Room, Cedars Hospital—6:45 p.m. Central Daylight Time
Pacing the floor in the ICU waiting room, Olivia pressed the tips of her fingers against the bridge of her nose, as she searched her memory for the pediatric surgeon's name, "Dr. Somebody Robbins—I think someone said her first name is a State. I don't really remember."
She paused, and turning toward Phillip, she planted her hands on her hips. "Who the fuck names their baby after a State?" she huffed.
Phillip offered a look of complete loss in response.
"Anyway," Olivia sighed, dismissing him with the wave of her hand, "whatever the fuck her name is, she's apparently the best pediatric surgeon in the country."
"And she's on her way here?"
Olivia nodded. "Thanks to the doctor who's consulting from Geneva, yes," she acknowledged.
"Dr. Mackenzie?" Phillip said, seeking confirmation.
"Yes," Olivia answered. "Given Téa's tenuous condition, she thinks it's best to have a specialist readily available."
"And this Dr. Robbins is the absolute best?" Phillip queried. She'd already said it, but he wanted to be certain.
"According to Dr. Mackenzie, she is," Olivia answered.
"How soon will she arrive?"
"Couple of hours, I think," Olivia reported. "She's flying in from Seattle."
"I'll have a car waiting for her at the airport," Phillip announced. Before he even finished the statement, he had his phone out, sending instructions to his driver. "Does anything need to be done with regard to getting her privileges? I can get with our Chief of Staff, if need be." There were advantages to having a Spaulding on the hospital board, and he wouldn't hesitate to call in favors in his family's name.
Olivia shook her head. "Rick already took care of it, like he did earlier with Dr. Carter," she reported.
"Good," Phillip said, nodding his head as he paced the floor, his mind running scenarios and looking for anything they might have missed.
Olivia looked at him then, her eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and fear. "Thank you, Phillip," she said softly.
A faint smile touched his lips. "It's what we do for family," he said simply.
Olivia nodded. "Yes, I'm beginning to see that."
Wednesday, July 8, 2009… Safe House near Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada—10:30 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time
"This isn't technically a 'safe house', but you'll definitely be safe here," Commander Marc Daniels announced as he led Dani, Jacqueline, Langston, and a very sleepy McKenna through the front door of a quaint cottage in the foothills near the hamlet of Lake Louise, on the southernmost edge of Alberta in Western Canada. The house was located in an exclusive gated community, with separate quarters out back, where his agents would stay. "No one will think to look for you here," he assured.
Glancing around, Langston quickly sized the place up, noting the placement of windows and doors, much the way Marc had the cottage on the Vineyard the moment he'd set foot on the property. The living room, dining area, and kitchen were completely open, and she could see the door in the kitchen that she presumed led out back, from her vantage point in the living room. Down a hall toward the right of the front door, she noted four doors—presumably three bedrooms, and a bathroom. "Are there any other exits?" she inquired.
"The master bedroom has a walk-out onto the back deck," Marc answered.
"And the deck is backed by the mountainside?" Langston inquired.
"More or less," Marc answered. "There's a small cabin out back where my agents will bunk, and then the trees. The grade is steep back there. Not much chance of anyone risking access."
Langston nodded. That was good news, but still, she didn't like that there was an access point out of her line of sight. But she knew she would just have to accept it. Regardless of its imperfections in terms of security, she was grateful for the shelter away from the dangers of their family.
"One of my agents will be stationed in the main house 'round the clock for your protection, just in case," Marc assured, noting the look of concern on the detective's face.
"Again, I can't thank you enough, Commander," Langston said sincerely. She didn't ask any questions with regard to how he'd managed to get them into Canada without revealing their identities. They'd flown in via private jet under cover of night, landing on a runway in an obscure location, somewhere outside Calgary, as far as she could tell. And then they'd been transported in an unmarked SUV to the house where they would stay for the foreseeable future.
"It's Marc," the Commander said, granting the familiarity he realized should have been extended hours ago. "And it's my pleasure, Langston. I'll be taking the night shift, and Agent Shaw will assume command in the morning. I'll have several more of my people here by then, and she'll work out rotation while you and I focus on figuring out who's behind all of this."
"No plan has ever sounded better, Marc," Langston declared. McKenna's increased fussing drew her attention then, and she turned toward Dani and Jacqueline. "I think we could all use some rest," she said. "What do you say we get ourselves and this cranky baby to bed?"
Dani and Jacqueline made noises of unanimous agreement. They were all exhausted, and Jacqueline knew that Langston, in particular, was desperately in need of rest given that she was still recovering from a bullet wound, and Jacqueline knew she would be up at the crack of dawn to start working with Marc on tracking down the culprits of the most recent attempt on her life. "Why don't you put McKenna in with me?" she suggested. "You need rest more than any of us, Lang."
"That's actually a good idea," Marc was quick to agree. "The guest room on the left faces the back yard, with only one exterior window. It's probably the safest in the house."
"Done," Langston readily agreed. She didn't have to ask how Dani felt, because her wife's head was already nodding in agreement. "Thanks, Jacqué."
Jacqueline nodded. "Of course," she said. "Just bring her in when you're ready." Clutching the handle on her small suitcase, she excused herself then, heading down the hallway to get settled.
"See you first thing, Marc," Langston said, nodding toward the commander. And then grabbing the handle of Dani's suitcase and her own duffle bag in one hand, and McKenna's portable crib in the other, she moved toward the bedrooms, Dani in tow. The work of unraveling this mess would begin early the next morning, and she needed to rest if there was any hope for a swift resolution.
TBC in Chapter 18.6…
Additional Disclaimer: The character of Dr. Arizona Robbins is owned by Grey's Anatomy, ABC/Disney, and Shondaland Productions. Previous disclaimers apply.