One Last Time

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is AU; Kate's mom is alive, still happily married to Jim.! The experiment of Kate and Rick living together, happily ever after is killed when she takes the Fed job only 7 months into their coupling. Only to return to New York 13 months later, BUT Rick isn't there.

I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement purposes, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks. A different outcome from Watershed, at least for now. No Guarantee this will be Caskett Ending, but leaning that way now.

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Got this idea while listening to music, it's an oldie but the words fit what I wanted to write beautifully, No Copyright infringement intended, Song, One Last Time, by Westlife.

Don't say anything more
I could tell by the way you're not looking at me, staring at the floor
You could at least look me in my eyes and tell the truth this time
Classic you, running away from the problems instead of solving them

So, don't leave me alone
It wasn't part of the plan
For you to lead me on, yeah
You told me we would be more than this

I feel my heart breaking again
I don't wanna just be your friend
I guess everything beautiful ends
Why can't you open your eyes and see the tears in mine?

Oh, come on, say that you love me one last time

Don't try to tell me you're sorry
I can tell by the way that you hold your body you ain't so sure
You could at least say that you could try to love me better
And you can do more than running away from all of your problems

But now I feel alone
This wasn't part of my plan
For you to lead me on
You told me we could be more than this

I feel my heart breaking again
I don't wanna just be your friend
I guess everything beautiful ends
Why can't you open your eyes and see the tears in mine?

Oh, come on, say that you love me one last time

Oh, I feel my heart breaking again
I don't wanna just be your friend
I guess everything beautiful ends
Why can't you open your eyes and see the tears in mine?

Oh, come on, say that you love me one last time

Chapter 1

Newport Way, The Castle

Huntsville Texas

Three Years Later

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FLASHBACK THREE YEARS - New York Loft

Rick knew something wasn't right with her and hadn't been since she had spoken to Agent Stack in private after the Drone case. He had paid close attention to her, especially after the Eric Vaughn incident, and still blamed his lack of attention to her for the incident.

Gina, Paula, His Mother, and even Alexis, all had told him he was nuts, she had been and was showered with affection, that any woman would pray for, it was an excuse and they all cautioned him to be careful. Did he listen, had her ever? The answer was hell no, he had a custom diamond ring prepared and had picked it up the very day the relationship problems came to a head.

They had caught a case, a weird one, a girl placed in the water tower of a cheap hotel slash temporary housing, he had tried to call her several times, all going to voice mail, and was surprised to see her show up in a cab at the crime scene.

"Hey, where have you been, I have tried to call you since Espo called me when they caught the case. Is your phone working?" He asked, never thinking what would transpire 12 hours later.

"Oh, I must have turned it off to let it get a full charge, I'm sorry," she tried to explain, BUT she didn't look at him. One of her tells when she was lying.

Even after they were officially a couple, she insisted on keeping her apartment, the reason, at least the one she swore to, she loved Martha, but some days needed a break from everyone. It didn't seem reasonable but he knew Johanna and Martha both asked questions that weren't any of their business, it wasn't like they were high school students dating.

Johanna was pushing harder than anyone for a wedding sooner than later, but Kate wanted to take it in steps. First, she wanted to live together, then follow the normal routine. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going to marry her, it was just when and where.

Something had been off with her that entire day, back to the secretive Kate when she first met him. He even asked her if she needed to see a doctor, she just wasn't herself. The real reason, the truth, came out that evening as they were working together on dinner that night in her apartment.

He moved her blazer and found her boarding pass for her morning flight to D.C. for her interview with the Attorney General's office as it fell to the floor. He can still repeat every word that was said, even three years later, thousands of miles away from where it occurred.

(Following courtesy of Dustjackets Fandom Dot Com, No copyright infringement intended)

"Did you fly to DC yesterday?" Rick asked, a puzzled look covering his face.

"Yes. I did." She replied softly, almost inaudible as her face flushed fully red.

"Why?" Rick asked, hurt covering his face by turning away from her, his mind racing through all of the legitimate reasons she could have made the trip and not told him, he was drawing a blank.

After a very long pause, the silence was deafening, she swallowed hard, and spoke,

"I was invited down for an interview." She was only offering the minimum information in her responses, back to classic Beckett, my life, my business

Rick's face was full of puzzlement, still trying to figure out any legitimate excuse for her trip without telling him.

Finally, he swallowed and asked the question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answers to.

"What kind of interview?" his eyes were beginning to close down to protective mode, he was hurt, and trying to figure out why the woman he was about to propose to had done this to him,

"For a position. With the Federal Task Force." She barely got out above a whisper,

"I'm sorry, you interviewed for another job in another city … and you didn't tell me?" His voice was a little stronger as the anger began to build.

"I didn't tell you about it because it was just an interview and I knew you would be upset." She said, almost like he should understand and let it go.

(scoffs) "Oh … yeah. Yeah. You're damn right I'm upset." His voice stronger, the anger now in his eyes and voice,

"Castle, I just wanted to see what was out there. What's wrong with that?" She asked almost like why are you questioning me,

"What's wrong with it is that you hid it from me. In fact, you lied about it. I wouldn't do that to you." His voice was back full and strong, and she didn't miss the word lied about it was emphasized for meaning

"Castle, this isn't about you. (off his questioning look) This is about me. This is about my life." She said, and there it was, she still had her life, the question of Where Are WE going only pertained to things when and that she wanted, his mind raced as he fought to remain civil. The hurt caused bile to start to well up in his throat,

"So, you're seriously considering this?" He asked quietly fighting his internal emotions,

"Yes! This is a wonderful opportunity. It'll be a chance to do more." She tried to justify

(nods) "Without me." He said softly,

She's momentarily speechless. The words without me striking their target, as her mind flashed forward, this wasn't the way this was supposed to play out, he was supposed to be happy for her

"Castle, please don't do this. Don't make this about us." She said, with tears in her voice, as she regained it, at least for now.

"I'm sorry, tell me how this isn't about us. You get this job, you move to DC, I'll never see you. That's pretty much the end of our relationship, isn't it?" Rick said, with a tone that let her know that his idea of merging their lives didn't include a long-distance commute to see his bride.

(shakes her head) "You don't know that. And I probably won't even get the job." Kate tried in vain to justify her actions

"That's not the point. (he glares) The point is, you knew what this could mean. And it didn't occur to you to include me. (he realizes) Or worse, it did occur to you. And you chose not to. Now what does that say about us? (he moves to grab his coat) Not much, you ask me."

"Castle." She tried one last time to keep him from going,

"I can't be here right now." He was angry and hurt, and his emotions were about to let him down. He wasn't going to let her see him cry, no woman ever had, not even Kyra.

He took his jacket and walked past her to the door. She sighed but she didn't try to stop him.

XxX Still FLASBACK

Two Days Later

Ricks Loft

Rick was sitting at his desk, revising the final four chapters of the last Nikki Heat book on his contract with Black Pawn, the title had been narrowed down to either Destroyed Heat, or Terminated Heat. Gina hadn't given up, and was still unaware of the title change; she was still pushing him to sign a new deal for 5 more books, not knowing the conflict at home and how it might impact his decision.

He had held back from the initial offer, something just didn't feel right, so he delayed signing the contract. Now he knew why, he could revise the chapters and be ready to move on as quickly as she was. He fully anticipated her getting the job offer, and even sadder, that she would accept it. She knew now, what the cost would be for their relationship, so she couldn't plead she didn't understand the repercussions of her actions.

It wasn't widely known, outside of his two redheads, at least in his circle, although he was sure she had spoken to her boys and Lanie, probably her mother as well. about the trouble between the two lovebirds. He wasn't sure what they had been told, or her status with the job in Washington D.C. His phone buzzed, and he could hear Eduardo trying to calm Johanna Beckett down,

"What do you mean, he left orders he didn't want to speak to any of the Beckett ladies? You call him and tell him, I'm in the lobby, and I'm not going anywhere until I have my say, FACE to FACE." She was shouting when she finished,

"Eduardo, I'm sorry you had to go through that, let her up, she's an attorney and knows what criminal trespass is (loud enough for Johanna to hear), but I'll speak to her for a few minutes," Rick said, feeling sorry for the poor man downstairs.

Moments later the buzzer for the door rang, he opened the door to see a very pissed-off Johanna Beckett standing in his doorway. He didn't want to discuss their personal life with her mother, but Johanna was on a mission.

"First Rick, I apologize for getting nasty with that man downstairs, he was"

"He was just following my instructions, Johanna, now you have 15 minutes, what can I help you with, I have an appointment," Rick said, a little sharper than intended,

"I'm sorry Rick, it's none of my business, but I don't know what has gotten into my daughter, she's talking about moving to D.C. to take a Federal job, what do you think about that?" Johanna asked,

"You were correct with your first statement, it's none of your business. Your daughter knows my feelings, Johanna, I don't think she gives a damn about mine, yours, or anyone else but her own. As for the remainder of our relationship, talk to your daughter, I don't kiss and tell. You know her better than anyone, so why are you here, the real reason?" Rick asked,

"Can't you change her mind, Rick? I mean you're about the only one who can." She whimpered,

"First, I was never able to change your daughter's mind, second, it's none of my business, she made that clear when she told me it was about her, it was about her life," Rick said, almost adding that she had lied to him, and tried to conceal the interview, but it wasn't Johanna's business, let Kate tell her what she wanted.

"Rick, you don't want her to move to D.C. any more than her father or I do, won't you do something to try to stop this?" Johanna pleaded

"In simple plain language, NO, she has to make her own decisions in life. Ask her about how this all came about, it's her story to tell, not mine. She knew she was jeopardizing whatever we had when she accepted that interview, so I'm afraid I can't help you change her mind." Rick said as he glanced at his watch, five minutes of his 15 he had allocated to the lady that once was slated to be his Mother-in-law.

"Rick, I thought you two were on the track to a life together, forever, when did this all come about?" She asked, and just received a look from Rick,

"Johanna, talk to your daughter, I don't know what to tell you. I don't even know if she got the job, I just know that she's going if she does" He said, and looked out the window,

"She got the job, Rick, so, if there's something you two need to say to each other, you should do it soon. I'm sorry, I really am. I know how much you love her, how protective of her you are, and how you always try to go out of your way to show her you care, I don't know what the hell is wrong with her." Johanna said,

"Maybe it's not her Johanna, maybe it's me. I mean I haven't had a successful steady relationship since high school, so perhaps I'm not her one-and-done material. Whatever her reason, I know that I gave it my all. Is there anything else? I do have an appointment" he said more politely than the first time he had.

"Just that Rick, Jim, and I don't want to lose your friendship, you've been a great help to us, so please promise me, you'll stop by from time to time." She said,

"I can't do that Johanna, no offense you and Jim have always treated me great, but Alexis is leaving for Oxford, I have nothing to hold me here, so I may decide to travel for a while, I'm not sure. If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to call, just please, let's keep Kate out of the conversation?" He said softly and was surprised when Johanna pulled his head down and kissed his cheek, "I don't blame you, Rick, I don't. Take care of yourself", as she accepted the tissue he held out and dabbed her eyes on her way out the door.

Later that day she called and wanted to meet at the swings, and he agreed. He had a surprise he wanted to show her, the ring, her ring, he had it made special for her that was in his trouser pocket, that night. He had planned to propose right after he stood to pour the wine for them. When he left, he hid it in his hand until he got almost three blocks away from her apartment and transferred it to his jacket pocket.

He sat in the swing facing the opposite direction he knew she would be arriving from; he wasn't sure how strong he was going to be; Johanna had told him she had gotten the job. He arrived a few minutes early with one coffee in his hand, watching a mother with a little girl playing on the apparatus across the playground until he could sense her approaching him.

He never looked in her direction, he felt he take the swing two down from him, facing the opposite direction.

(Following courtesy of Dustjackets Fandom Dot Com, No copyright infringement intended)

It's the same park where they went to talk after she left him for the summer when she got shot. Where she decided to be with him. She got out of her car and walked across the grass. CASTLE was already waiting. He didn't acknowledge her when she took the swing beside him. It's a long moment before anyone speaks.

"I'm sorry. (she sighs) I shouldn't have kept secrets." She said low and sadly

"It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch." Rick replied more as a matter of fact than any emotion showing in his voice.

"Castle –" She started but he interrupted her,

"Please let me finish. (she stays silent) I've been doing a lot of thinking about us. About our relationship, what we have, and where we're headed. (he shakes his head) I've decided I want more." Once again, he's fighting his emotions,

She nods against the obvious line and tries to protect herself.

"We both deserve more," Rick stated

It takes her a second to respond. His tone hurts more than she thought.

"I agree." She almost whispered, There's something I have to tell you. (he steels himself and she takes a breath) I got the job." She searched for his reaction, anything, there was no reaction, he remained stoic,

"In DC?" He asked, "When do you report?" He asked,

"In three weeks, I've already sublet my apartment to my cousin Sophie, I can get my stuff out of the loft whenever you want" she replied, again searching for any kind of emotion from him, if he had any, he hid them well.

"Sounds like the plan is in place, no worry about the loft, I'm going away, and Mother's acting troupe is on the road for the next six weeks, take your time. Just leave the key fobs with Eduardo or on the counter,"

What about Alexis? You're going away? May I ask where you're going, Rick? You don't have to leave your own home because of me," she said, now feeling the guilt begin to surge over her as she looked at the shell of a man, she knew just last week.

"Alexis is going to OXFORD, I'm flying over with her to get her settled, and ensure she's accustomed to being in a foreign country. You're not making me leave my home Kate, this has been on our joint calendars for over a month, I guess you've been too busy to look at it. It won't happen anymore, I deleted your shared account, so you won't be bothered with Castle family dates any longer." He said softly,

Now she really feels like an ass, he's talked about how much he's going to miss his little girl, she hadn't paid attention since Stack and she had that conversation. She should have been more supportive of him; Alexis and he had a bond like few fathers and daughters she had ever known.

She squirmed in her swing, knowing that what she was about to say was either going to salvage their relationship or help blow it out of the water, well further out of the water.

"Castle, I love you. (her smile falls and she takes another breath) But this is my shot. And if I don't do this, I'll always regret it" She said, searching his body language, and finally his face as he pulled something from his jacket,

"No worries, Kate, even as we split you still can't bring yourself to call me anything but my Precinct name, I understand. I know where I stand now, where I've always stood. I just want to show you something, just so when you are reflecting later, you'll know the true cost of your decision.

"I'm sure you studied opportunity costs at Stanford like any college, so you'll understand when I tell you please factor this into the cost of your decision. I had it in my trouser pocket and planned to propose to you once I had poured the wine the night, I found your boarding pass." He passed the ring box over to a shocked Kate Beckett to look at, it was beautiful, almost identical to one she had told him she loved

She gasped, "You were going to propose? But Rick, I mean"

"You asked, Where are we going once, shortly after the Vaughn incident, I thought this would show you, sorry my timing sucked so badly." He said as he placed the ring box back into his coat pocket, "I guess you don't remember a lot about us." He said not cruelly, but the hurt couldn't be hidden from his voice, her tears began to fall, and he handed her his handkerchief that seemed to pop out of nowhere.

"The Loft is clear for you to move any time you want, for the next month, I hope this makes you happy Kate," he said, and rose to leave,

"Rick, I can call you, I mean I" she looked at the man walking away from her, facing straight ahead, moving at a swift pace, and not looking back. He held up his hand, whether to say goodbye or to signify for her to talk to the hand she didn't know, which, it didn't matter he was out of sight as her teardrops fell. Her mom was right, she did destroy him.

TBC

A/N: This is my redo of the AWFUL episode, WATERSHED, where I lost all respect for the writers and NF. No man gets jerked around like this, and then proposes unless he is more desperate than the woman. The small arc in DC made absolutely no sense in the large overall arc of CASTLE as we look back, it was more of the hodgepodge of one writer using his vision, even if it didn't make sense to what the story had led us to believe, IMO. There will be ANGST, plenty of it, there WILL NOT BE A CASKETT ending GUARANTEED, although I am leaning that way now.