Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans or the words to Impossible by Christina Aguilera

Hand In Hand

Chapter Thirty-One: Impossible

14th December

Aqualad kicked a rock that was in front of him. It hurt his foot. But it only made him angrier. The events of the twelfth of December were still heavy on his mind. He was trying so hard to help and please Raven but nothing he did seemed to do any good. If he said one thing, she said the other, and to top it all, it was her who propositioned him, not the other way round.

Perhaps he hadn't thought it all through. He wanted to help her, really he did, but he was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't cut out to fight away all of the little gothic girl's demons.

He made a noise in the back of his throat and scowled down at the floor. It wasn't that he didn't care for Raven, far from it, he cared deeply for her, but he was beginning to re-evaluate them. He liked Raven. But it definitely wasn't love.

##It's impossible, it's impossible to love you,

If you don't let me know what you're feeling,

It's impossible for me to give you what you need,

If you're always hiding from me ##

He knew that atlantians were nearly always unlucky in love. They hardly ever fell in love, and when they did, the fell hard. But he wasn't in love with Raven. He thought back to his conversation with Terra, when they had been at the mall. He shook his head and sighed, why didn't anything ever go smoothly?

He kicked himself. It was his own fault for chooses to try and love someone who hadn't even begun to love themselves yet. He should have just stayed as her friend, but no he had to take her up on her offer. He felt badly, as if he had taken advantage of her.

He clenched his fists together and lifted his head up to stare at the night sky, the stars shined down on his brightly. He sighed. His fingers uncurled and his hands slackened. It was no use getting angry. It wasn't Raven's fault.

It wasn't anyone's fault.

But he still felt guilty.

## I don't know what hurt you,

I just, I wanna make it right,

Because I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind##

It was pointless trying to find someone to blame though, he had always known, well part of him had, that Raven was just a bomb waiting to happen. She seemed to have herself contained, and seemed to be perfectly in tune with herself. But if you looked close enough, tiny cracks were starting to appear at the edges of her brilliant façade. Her eyes flickered with emotion, things exploded; she shut herself off from things that she didn't understand. That would get to anyone.

In truth Aqualad was surprised she hadn't snapped already.

But he knew what rested on the fact that Raven didn't snap. She had to hold on, because who knows what her powers could do if she lost control, or what she might do in a moment of anger.

Had it been anyone else he would have broken off the relationship, but because it was Raven he had to stick with it. She was in too much of a fragile state to be let now. Maybe her relationship with him was the only thing that was holding her together.

That thought scared him beyond belief.

He hoped there was more that held Raven to reality, because he really didn't think he could cope with many more of her mood swings.

##It's impossible,

Oh baby its impossible for me to love you,

It's the way it is,

It's impossible, oh baby its impossible,

If you're making it this way ##

"Dammit." He cursed to himself.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he threw a sideways glance at the crimson eyed atlantian next to him, "Can I help?"

"No." sighed Aqualad still looking at Kai, wondering if maybe his friend had it easy being gay. Not that he'd ever go that way, but it must be much simpler than going after girls.

Kai smirked slightly, "Why not? Girl trouble?"

Aqualad blinked, "Uh. Yeah."

Kai nodded and then turned back to watch the ocean that was lapping against the shores of the beach that they were standing on, the wind ruffled his blue hair as he stared out to the horizon, "It's that Raven right?" he asked, Aqualad nodded, "I thought so. You know she's not the type I would peg as for going into relationships. What made you ask her out?"

Aqualad sighed and turned back to the ocean too, his own kind was very good at picking up on the emotions of others, and they made for good agony aunts, even if they were interfering at times. "She asked me."

Kai raised his eyebrows but didn't turn, "You surprise me. But then perhaps even the silent ones need companionship. Look at me and Rei."

Aqualad smiled slowly, "Very talkative tonight aren't you Kai?"

Kai waved a hand; his long white scarf caught in the wind suddenly and blew madly around for a moment like it had a life of its own, "Rei must be rubbing off on me. Besides, I need to prepare myself for that party you just had to invite me to."

Aqualad grinned, "You don't have to come."

"Rei wouldn't hear of it. I thought we were talking about your problems." Kai muttered lifting his hand and flicking a spike of hair from his eyes.

Aqualad sighed again, "Yeah."

##Impossible to make it easy,

If you're always trying to make it so damn hard,

How can I, how can I give you all of my love?

If you're always, always putting up your guard##

"So what's the problem then?"

Yes, what was the problem? Aqualad felt stupid all of a sudden, what if it was all in his head? What if he was dreaming things up? He shook his head to clear his thoughts, no the problem was real. "I can't get her to open up to me, she's slipping further into darkness all the time, and I can't bring her back."

"Maybe you're not supposed to."

"What?" he tilted his head to stare at his friend, why did he have to have Kai as the one to talk to? Why couldn't Rei be here? Kai would be blunt, and he could excruciatingly cruel when he wanted to be.

"The two of you don't fit together. Is there someone else on the scene?"

Aqualad scowled, "Yeah. Robin. He won't leave Raven alone, he feels something for her I'm sure, but he's just messing with her."

"How can you be sure about that?"

"Because I know how his mind works."

Kai sighed, "You know it's not a good idea to try and understand someone else's mind, before you understand your own."

Aqualad felt like tearing his hair out, "I understand my mind perfectly thank you!"

"Don't get angry with me. You know I'm telling the truth, if you know what your mind wants, why are you here talking to me? Why didn't you ask her out? Why do you keep getting in the way of Robin," Aqualad went to protest, "You don't need to tell me, it's written all over your face and you don't exactly hide your thoughts very well. You try and stop him from talking to her. You shouldn't."

"But why not?"

##This is not a circus; don't play me for a clown,

How long can emotions keep going up and down? ##

Kai sighed again, as if he was used to helping people out with their love lives, "You're forcing her to choose that way, and who do you think would come out on top if that happened. I'm sorry, but I don't think that it would be you."

Aqualad pulled a face, "Does Rei know you're an agony aunt."

"We swap shifts every now and then." Kai dead-panned.

"Whatever."

## It's impossible,

Oh baby its impossible for me to love you,

It's the way it is,

It's impossible, oh baby its impossible,

If you keep treating me this way,

Over and Over ##

Kai turned away from the ocean and gave Aqualad a glare, "I suppose I'll go and get some sleep. After all, it is that party tomorrow. I dread to think what Rei will make me wear. I still can't get over the whole birthday debacle."

Aqualad snickered at the memory, "Yeah. Hopefully the party will help lighten everybody's mood."

##Impossible baby, impossible, impossible,

If you're making it this way,

Oh, it's impossible,

If you're making it this way##

A/N I need guest people! The party is the next two chapters! Come on! I want to post them before Saturday!