Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the words to Ocean Soul by Nightwish. Sorry it's been a while; check out my new Fic 'Bare Grace Misery'. It's a Raven/Malchior fairytale fic (Being stuck in the UK means I've only just seen 'Spellbound' and I'm going to have to wait a few months for 'Birthmark' to come out…damn.)

Hand in Hand

Chapter Thirty-Six: Ocean Soul

18th December 19:37

Aqualad was feeling troubled. No. That was an understatement. He was so close to the edge that if he too one more step he imagined in would be like walking off the top of Mount Everest.

He just couldn't seem to go forwards with Raven. And for every step he did manage to take she seemed to be taking about thirty two backwards.

He groaned and brought his hand up to hold his head. At present he was sat at the back of a darkened restaurant/ bar all on his own listening to the music which drifted out wearily through the old and probably malfunctioning speakers. He was pretty sure no human could sing like that. It sounded like a strangled crow. But really, he didn't have a choice. He wasn't about to throw out the tickets he had managed to get.

They had been a special treat for Raven; after all she had been acting really strange since the party. It was to be expected he supposed what with her planet dying at all that. But he just couldn't grasp the concept of her violent mood swings. Just a few days ago he had persuaded her, with minimal effort, to come back to the atlantian beach; he had even placed his arm around her waist. Showing that off to Robin had just been an added bonus. He tore his thoughts away from the Boy Wonder. Robin had been acting exceedingly odd the past two days, and he seemed extremely nervous when the news came on, as if he was expecting something. Aqualad shook his head, back to Raven…

Today however was shaping up to be one of the most embarrassing he had ever suffered, and with Beast Boy as his friend that really was saying a lot. To begin with Raven had refused to answer her communicator, and being the concerned boyfriend he was, he had rushed straight to the T-Tower and up to Raven's room. His good intentions however had been thrown right back in his face, Raven it appeared did not want any help, from him or any other person. His efforts to calm her had gone unnoticed and unheeded, and to top it all when he announced that he had managed to get tickets to the most exclusive and expensive restaurant in Jump City he had been rudely snubbed and then ignored for the rest of the day.

Aqualad sighed, he wasn't about to waste all the money he had spent by just not showing up, and besides after booking the table it was bad courtesy to not make the most of it. So here he was, currently sat alone at a table, waiting for the night to end.

One more night to bear this nightmare,

What more do I have to say?

Crying for me was never worth a tear,

My lonely soul is only filled with fear

This situation had gotten out of control, he wasn't even sure of his reasons for dating Raven anymore. He had thought that it was to help her, but as it progressed all it was causing him was grief, and it was making him irritable and moody. Just look at the way he had gone after Robin, he had never been that malicious to another before.

He was always thinking of others, never of himself, but lately thinking of others didn't seem to be helping anybody. Perhaps he should start focusing on himself. He hadn't thought about what he truly wanted for a long time.

But what did he want?

He groaned out loud in exasperation.

He wanted Raven to be happy, but not enough to make himself miserable. She didn't seem to even want him anyway. It was the truth, he knew, that she would rather have Robin, he finally accepted it. It had been there all along lurking behind their relationship like an obsessed stalker, and he had always pushed it away believing that he could make her forget all about the Boy Wonder if only he tried hard enough.

What a lie. He could never replace Robin.

Letting out an inarticulate growl he introduced his head to the table top. Repeatedly.

"You know, you could damage something doing that." Said a familiar voice.

Long hours of loneliness,

Between me and the sea

Aqualad looked up and smiled slightly, "Terra." Then he frowned, "What are you doing here?"

The blonde shrugged, through he could see the tears gathering at the corners of her eyelashes, she was upset, but she was trying to hide it, "I just wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me." She let out a shaky breath, "I've just broken up with Beast Boy."

Aqualad's face drained of all colour, he hurriedly got to his feet, "Take a seat, please." He requested gesturing with one hand towards the seat opposite him. "You shouldn't be on your own."

Terra sniffled slightly, "I…I don't have a ticket to sit here." She muttered dejectedly, "I was just going to buy a stiff drink and go."

Aqualad shook his head, "That is not an option. Use my spare ticket, Raven's not going to show up." He leaned over the table and pulled the other chair out for her so she could sit down.

Terra smiled thankfully and slid into the velvet covered seat, "Thanks."

Aqualad sighed loudly, "Not having much look with our love-lives are we?"

The blonde across from him gave a brittle laugh, "No. I guess not." She looked down at her gloved hands bitterly, "I guess not." She repeated.

Aqualad winced at the tone, "Do you mind I f I ask what happened?"

Terra shook her head, "No, the other titans probably know about it now anyway." Her fists clenched, "I was trying to be supportive, I was, at least I think I was. I don't know. I guess I was jealous." She sniffled again and then brought her hand up to wipe her eyes.

"Jealous?" asked Aqualad in surprise, "Of what?"

"Of Raven."

"Of Raven." He repeated in a bewildered tone, "Why were you jealous of Raven, and what could that possibly have to do with your relationship?" he was watching the titan's face intently, trying to read the expression, she looked dejected that was obvious, sad and even slightly angry.

"Because everyone practically worships her!" Terra exploded suddenly slamming her fists onto the table with a loud 'BANG' causing the atlantian to jerk backwards in surprise, "I mean, everyone's so concerned about her because her planet's died. So what? She wasn't living there when it happened, she should be glad that she's alive! She's been acting really strangely lately, she even threatened me! And when I tell Beast Boy he thinks I'm lying and sticks up for her!" tears were beginning to flow down her cheeks as she continued in her tirade, shaking her head at regular intervals, her clenched fists still shaking, "I told him I couldn't stay with him if he wasn't going to trust me, and you know what he said? He said, 'Fine' as if I don't matter to him! She has everything I want! Everyone trusts her more than me! They would rather rush to her aid then my. Gods I hate her!"

Aqualad just sat there stunned, he hadn't been expecting a reply of that magnitude, he looked around and saw that the other customers of the restaurant were looking at them, he glared at them, and they turned away, "Look, Terra, it can't be that bad-"

"But it is!"

Losing emotion,

Finding devotion,

Should I dress in white and search the sea?

As I always wished to be,

One with the waves,

Ocean soul

"Terra-"

"NO!" Terra fixed him with a deadly gaze, "She's got what I want! She's got a caring boyfriend who would do anything for her! Who loves her more than his hobbies and his childish games! I want that! Why can't I have that?"

"Terra!" interrupted Aqualad grabbing the girl's trembling hands in his own, "For one they've known Raven longer than you, you knew it was going to take a while for them to treat you the same when you signed on, secondly you can have what you want, you CAN have someone who makes you happy, and thirdly…" he trailed off, "Thirdly, I don't know where you got the idea that everything was fine between me and Raven."

She looked up startled, "W-what?"

Aqualad smiled sadly, and laced his fingers with Terra's and gave them a reassuring squeeze, "My relationship with Raven is complicated." He sighed, "Too complicated. I'm…I'm breaking up with her tomorrow." The revelation shocked him as much as it did Terra, but he supposed it was for the best.

"You're breaking up with her?" asked the titans, disbelief evident across her features, "But I thought you loved her!"

"Love is a fickle mistress." He gave a wry smile, "I love Raven, but I'm not in love with her. She's like a sister to me, it just doesn't feel right. I want her to be happy, but I won't sacrifice my own happiness for that cause." He looked p at Terra who was staring at him openly, "Does that make me selfish?"

Terra shrugged, "It's okay to be selfish sometimes." She looked down at their joined hands, "I guess she'll take it hard."

"Oh you know Raven, she'll bounce back." Aqualad said overly-brightly, in truth he was trying too hard, trying to steer the conversation away from Raven, "I think I'm more worried about you, are you going to be okay?"

Terra smiled, the expression lighting up her features, "Yeah, I'll be fine. Time heals all wounds and all that."

"Hmm."

Walking the tide line,

I hear your name is angels whispering,

Something so beautiful that it hurts

"So. You're practically a free agent now huh?" asked Terra leaning her elbows on the table, but still keeping her hands interlinked with the atlantians.

Aqualad smiled and pulled one of his hands away, slowly he reached up and brushed her tears away with his fingertips, "Yes, I suppose I am." He looked into Terra's eyes and saw himself reflected there, "Why do you ask?"

She shifted slightly and leaned forward, her voice dropping to a near whisper, "I'm just making sure."

He stared at her, a smile forming on his features, "May I enquire why?"

Terra smiled, "So I won't feel guilty when I do this."

Without waiting for a reply she shifted again, leaned over and pressed her lips to Aqualad's. Without hesitation, he kissed her back.

I only wished to become something beautiful,

Through my music,

Through my silent devotion