Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the words to 'Someone Else' by Queensryche

Some of you wanted to know which Raven wore the brown cloak, and in case more of yu don't remember, it was Determination who wore the brown cloak, and also some may feel as if I've missed something out by jumping straight to Raven's meeting with Claire after the whole Nevermore incident, don't panic...what happened the morning after will be told in flashbacks from Star's view in the next chapter. Thank you. Keep reviewing!

Hand in Hand

Chapter Forty-Seven: Someone Else

December 21st 13:56 Just Outside Titan's Tower

There were some things in the world that Robin really could do without. Not that he was complaining because he knew that everyone had to do something that they didn't like at some point in their lives and he was no exception. However coming face to face with Aqualad whilst en route back to the Titan's tower with the others was something that was at the top of his 'Not To Do' list. The atlantian looked at them all from underneath half closed eyelids and then he straightened and looked directly at Robin, ignoring the accusing glare from Beast Boy and the disregard from Raven.

"I need to talk with you." Aqualad said firmly as he walked over to Robin, "Alone. It'll only take a moment." He put his hand on Robin's arm and gave him a pleading look.

Robin looked back at the others and then nodded for them to go on ahead. He watched as they walked away and he could almost see them wondering if the two of them would be able to hold a conversation with each other without resorting to the commonplace violence. "You've got five minutes." He said coldly as he crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't know what the water boy thought he was doing but considering what had happened that morning Robin couldn't really find it in himself to find the patience to care, "Make it good."

Aqualad took a deep breath and released Robin's arm, looking into his eyes as he spoke, trying to get his words across, "Okay. I'm an idiot, alright? I don't know what I'm doing or saying half the time. I'm a jerk with bad dress sense and an odd fetish for seashells, but please, hear me out."

Robin's eyebrows rose at the seashells remark, but he remained quiet, his heart thudding loudly in his ears. His hand was stinging from where the skin had been ripped off at the bank, but he tried to ignore the pain. "I'm listening."

When I fell from grace,
I never realised,
How deep the flood was around me.
A man whose life was toil was like a kettle left to boil,
And the water left scars on me.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking recently, thinking about thinks that have never even crossed my mind before. About Raven and about you and the other titans and about what happened at the party. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly, sometimes I wish I'm not." The atlantian shrugged but did not let go of Robin's gaze, "I haven't been able to sleep or eat, things have just been running over and over in my head and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I've realised though, that despite this, this mess that I find myself in, I'm glad it happened, because, in all honesty, I think that it's helped. All of us, at least in a way."

"What are you saying?" asked Robin softly, his eyes darting back to the tower, expecting to see someone watching him, but there was no one there. He turned his gaze back, "I don't understand."

Aqualad smiled sadly, "I sat on the seashore and looked into the water, hoping that what I wanted to know would be shown to me through my reflection. It came to me then, the reason for everything. I'd like to say that it's all because of Azarath being destroyed, but I think it's nothing to do with that. If anything it's just something that happened to make everything seem too convenient."

"You're calling the death of Raven's home convenient?"

"Ah, you misunderstand me." Aqualad sighed as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, "I meant that that happening only masked the true problem. I know why Raven was never receptive to me, why no matter what I did she always seemed so miserable."

"What do you mean?" asked Robin as he heard the sound of the waves crashing against the sand on the shoreline, "What are you saying?" he knew he was repeating himself, but it didn't seem to matter, the hostility that he had felt towards the atlantian started to dim a little, of course he couldn't forgive him completely knowing the trauma that he had put Raven through, but still dislike is better than hate.

"I'm not the one that she wanted." Aqualad said, suddenly breaking Robin's gaze and looking out to the horizon over the ocean, "I was never the one."

Robin's heartbeat sped up, a roaring of his own blood echoed in his ears. "What?" His mind seemed to have difficulty functioning as he ran over what the boy before him had just said. The words that came out of the atlantian's mouth… he must have heard wrong.

"I'm not the one Raven wants." Aqualad repeated wistfully, "I think we both know who the real object of her affection is."

Robin was silent, he couldn't…there was no…it just… "We do?" he asked in a near whisper, his eyes darting about beneath his mask, like a dear in the headlights.

"Yes." Said Aqualad as he took a few steps forwards to the edge of the rocky shore that stood between the Titan's Tower and the vast sea. Aqualad paused on the edge and then looked back over his shoulder, "It's you. It was always you." Without waiting for a reply he jumped into the ocean, a darker shadow of blue amidst the moving waves.

And Robin's mind completely shut down.

Preparing to reboot.

I know now who I am.
If only for a while,
I recognize the changes.
I feel like I did before the magic wore thin
And the baptism of stains began

Robin walked along the edge of the rocky shoreline and kicked at the stones that his boots came into contact with. His head was down and he was staring at the path that his feet were taking, without really seeing what he was looking at.

This was certainly a new development. But how well could he trust the words that the atlantian uttered? He hadn't exactly been someone reliable recently. Robin sighed and shook his head. Behind him the Tower was lit up with a warm orange glow from the early afternoon sun, the same rays were glancing off of the top of the water and casting shimmering images against the grey-white brickwork of his home.

The question was…

How far was he willing to go to be with Raven? If what Aqualad said was true then there was a chance that the two of them could be together, but even if it was a possibility it didn't mean it was going to happen, did it?

For starter's there was the whole reason that things were going wrong in the first place. Rage. How could Raven be in a relationship with the evil part of her running around unchecked in her head? Was he going to have to watch his back every time he was around her? He seriously didn't think that he was cut out for that. No. He couldn't risk making her even more messed up that she already was. They had to deal with the emotions thing first and fore most, it was impossible for anyone to feel Love if they did not have the necessary requirements needed in order to perform such a feeling.

Secondly there was Slade and his new cronies to think about. They were up to something and no good could come from it. But how was he supposed to go about saving the city when he didn't know what they were planning or even how to go about setting things right? He knew that if he just charged in then there would be no hope for him. Things just didn't work like that anymore. Now you had to plan everything out to last the detail and think up tactics in case things went wrong.

Thirdly there was Starfire, his current girlfriend. He felt kind of guilty that he hadn't thought of her until now, but on the scale of things she really didn't deserve to be number one on his list and he hated the way that that made him feel. He would have to break up with her to be with Raven, which would break Starfire's heart. She probably just wouldn't understand. And what if he did break up with Starfire, Raven was likely to refuse to be with him to refrain from hurting the other girl's feelings.

He heaved a greater sigh and then moved closer to the outcrop of rocks that hung over the deep dark water. He sat down slowly and drew his knees up to his chest, staring across to the horizon that Aqualad had looked minutes before.

They used to say I was nowhere, man,
Heading down was my destiny.
But yesterday, I swear,
That was someone else not me.

A sudden sharp pain in his hand made him wince and he looked down at the wound. It was raw and red. He stared at it for a long moment and then looked back up, a million and one thoughts flying through his confusion, like streams of light in the dark.

Raven used to hurt herself all the time, tried to make all the other pain that she was feeling go away. It had helped her, in a way to be the person that she was today. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. Had hurting herself really been a way of venting anger and frustration.

His fingers itched suddenly and he licked his dry lips, trying to ignore the sensation, but everyone knows that the more you ignore an itch, the more prominent it becomes. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly before breathing in. His heart was racing in his chest and he didn't know why.

He pressed his forehead into the caps of his knees and groaned. Strands of black hair fell into his face but he couldn't gather the energy to brush them away. What was he going to do? He was supposed to be the one that was in charge, the one that knew what to do in difficult situations. He was supposed to be the one that the others turned to for help. But Raven had never come to him for help. He clenched his eyes tightly until he saw white specks behind his eyelids.

He opened his eyes again, almost blinded by the sun rays that glanced off of the ocean. He was supposed to be fearless, he was supposed to be their leader and yet he felt as if he was failing them over and over again. He felt that he was failing Raven.

Here I stand at the crossroads edge,
Afraid to reach out for eternity.
One step, when I look down,
I see someone else not me.

He looked back down at his wounded hand and slowly he curled his fingers into a fist, quelling the itching as he dug his nails into the tender skin. Pain flared intensely, almost white hot at the contact point and he winced. Was this what Raven had felt when she had hurt herself? He dug his nails in harder. He needed to understand, more than anything, he needed to understand.

Looking back and I see someone else.

A sudden shadow fell on him and then a pale hand took hold of his, pulling his fingers from his clenched fist, releasing him from his self inflicted torture. He looked up.

Raven looked down at him, her eyes bleak in the afternoon sun. She let go of his hand and it fell to his side as she faced the horizon also and then sat down next to him, crossing her legs underneath her.

Robin looked away from her and out to sea, to see what she was seeing. The water and the gulls that screamed as they dipped down across it, their white wings brushing against its surface as they flew on the wild wind currents. The smell of sea salt made him feel nostalgic, and he didn't know why. The rock was cold against his throbbing hand, but he didn't look down at it.

"You don't need to understand." Raven said softly, not looking away from the horizon, and the fishing boat that bobbed about in the distance, "Some days, even I don't understand myself."

It only took Robin a moment to realise that she must have been reading his thoughts. Her comment should have made him frown, but instead, the edges of his lips curved upwards slightly in a soft smile.

All my life they said I was going down,
But I'm still standing, stronger, and proud.
And today I know there's so much more I can be.


"Robin, what do you think is going to happen?" she asked as a breeze blew in, sending her amethyst hair back over her shoulder in a shower of soft waves.

Robin saw the sunlight glitter in her gaze as he looked at her from the corner of his eye. He didn't reply for one long moment, "Something great." He lowered his legs slightly, "Something great." He repeated in a softer tone.

"Terrible, but great."

Robin turned his head to face her and a wide grin spread across his features, "You're quoting Harry Potter?"

"…shut up."

From where I stand at the crossroads edge,
There's a path leading out to sea.
And from somewhere deep in my mind,
Sirens sing out loud songs of doubt as only they know how.
But one glance back reminds,
And I see, someone else not me.

Robin smiled again and then looked back to the ocean, something in his mind told him to keep his hopes up. He had a good feeling about everything. Maybe it was the sunshine, maybe it was what Aqualad had told him, maybe it was the fact that Raven was here…talking to him and Rage was nowhere in sight.

He looked down into the depths and saw his reflection, his hair was mussed and sticking up in all directions, his mask firmly in place, almost hiding himself from his secrets. The smile faded slightly.

Was that how the others saw him? As someone who always wore a mask to hide himself from prying eyes? He'd never really thought about it, he'd always worn it, to protect himself and his identity. He frowned down at his reflection, it seemed older than he did, wearier.

Eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul.

"Smile." Raven whispered to him, "It might never happen."

He felt a swell of love in his chest and he dropped the tip of his foot into the water, destroying his reflection with a multitude of ripples. And, as she suggested, he smiled again.

I keep looking back,

At someone else…

Me?