Part THREE!
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Me: Hello and welcome back to Slash and Linda: The Fic Critics. Let us begin, shall we?
Linda: Thanks. Okay, can I have the list? Thanks again. And our first-
Slash: WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! *runs in with a long piece of toilet paper trailing off of his shoe* I was going poopies.
Me/Linda: ........
Me: We didn't need to know that.
Slash: Too bad. So what's our first story?
Linda: .....
Me: I'll be leaving now.
Linda: Yes! RUN! Get outta here! Slash will scare you even more!
Slash: No I won't.
Linda: And our first story for THIS episode is, "We've Got the Wrong Schedules" By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: *waves a little flag* Yay.
Linda: Read and review, Slash.
Slash: *drops the flag* Hm. *grabs the papers, reads the fic*
Linda: Well?
Slash: It's not finished.
Linda: Tell us about it anyway!
Slash: Well, the three siblings wake up to the most dreaded morning of all, the first day of school. After several attempts at different pranks to serve as alarm clocks, they hurry off to school, and when they get there they hold each others' schedules for each other, which turns out to get all mixed up when everyone grabs the wrong schedules. And sadly, the fic is not finished, so it's up to you to make up the rest.
Linda: Maybe from now on we shouldn't review unfinished fics.
Slash: Maybe. So what's the bottom line, Linds?
Linda: Don't call me that. So the bottom line is, although it's not finished, it certainly was a humor fic in progress.
Slash: Next fic.
Linda: Oh good! You didn't scream in my ear this time. Our next fanfic would be............"What the Snowboard Kids and Digidestined-
Slash: NO! NO MORE DIGIMON!!! THIS IS A PURELY SNOWBOARD KIDS COUNCIL HERE!!!!!
Linda: *blink blink* Uh, Jam?
Jam: *comes out from behind the curtain* Yes?
Linda: Could you replace Slash for this next review?
Jam: Sure. *pushes Slash out of the way*
Slash: Hey! It's not, it's not, hey!
Jam: Stop stuttering. You sound like Ozzy Osbourne.
Linda: Boo. *thumbs-down*
Jam: Hey, Ozzy's cool.
Linda: I was booing your pun.
Jam: W-what pun is that.......
Slash: Can I resume my place in this fanfic now?
Jam: No. *pushes Slash offstage*
Slash: Yeek! *crash noises heard*
Jam: *dusts off hands* There. So Linda, what's the fanfic?
Linda: "What the Snowboard Kids and Digidestined did" By Angewomon 2000.
Jam: Cool. So....now I read the fanfic and summarize it?
Linda: Right.
Jam: Booyah. *reads it*
Jam: *blinks*
Jam: JEANETTE WATCHES ME CHANGING AND THEN TELLS EVERYONE I'M WEARING POKEMON BOXERS?!?!?
Linda: *is trying very hard to supress her giggles*
Jam: Uh, it's Easter, I forgot to plan the party, some of the kids are at the supermarket, the end. *runs off, gets Slash, drags him back on stage and then proceeds to cuss out Linda* YOU LITTLE [*beep*] I'M GONNA [*beeepin-beep*] YOU!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU [*beepbeep*] DO THIS TO ME I'M GONNA [*beep*] KILL YOU!!!
Censors Offstage: Phew, that was hard.
Me: Why don't you guys move on to the next fanfic?
Linda: Okay. This next one is called, "I Once Had A Werewolf for a Brother" by Angewomon 2000.
Slash: And, it goes like this. After Jam falls asleep and thinks he has the flu, Wendy conducts some experiments that prove that, after a blood transfusion, Jam has contracted an inherited disorder that can turn him into a werewolf. Thankfully, in the beginning he's only in the "puppy stage" but later on he gets more and more dangerous, and it turns out that Taichi (blinks, then frowns)
Linda: Slash, it's a crossover. Just keep reading.
Slash: Tai has to rescue Kari from Jam because he's a werewolf. So, one night he breaks down his door, he chases Kari, and..........this is taking too long. I'm gonna make a long story short. They split into teams, and somewhere in Town Square they happen across Sinobin, who lends a helping hand. They get led to a cave where they hear screams, where they discover Jam in great pain. So Wendy finds a temporary cure for the illness, and gives it to him, but later the screams are STILL there!!! They find Jam, but unfortunately they also find Kari, who's going to turn into a werewolf in a matter of minutes. THE HORROR!!! KARI AND JAM RUN AMUCK AND CHASE EVERYONE and the problem is that now there's TWO werewolves!!! But, there's still hope. A little blossom called the Moon Flower, which can cure ALL symptoms of werewoof
Linda: Wolf.
Slash: ........ALL symptoms of wereWOLF transformation. But unfortunately we happen upon Mr. Kuehnemund and Kenneth Nathan Ritcher, and the horrors continue from there because there's still no friggin' Moon Flower-
Linda: Restriction of language....
Slash: SCREW YOU!!! Anyway, not only do they have to find a Moon Flower and a Night Fruit AND a Gypsy Root, but now they have to avoid a ghost named Spooky (who actually helps them later on). So then they mix the ingredients, they make the tranquilizer darts, and the plan is put into action. They manage to set out and hit the werewolves with the darts, and when they are turned back into human, everyone throws a HUGE party and the story is settled peacefully.
Linda: The bottom line? A quote from Tommy in Chapter 10 when everyone's cheering. "When's lunch?"
Slash: For some reason I can't imagine Sinobin saying "yippee."
Linda: Neither can I. But this story kicks butt, and I really suggest you read it. Plus, it's finished! Doesn't get any better than that.
Slash: Next story!
Linda: You read my mind. Our next tale is.........."Memories Return" by Angewomon2000.
Slash: It sounds kinda sad.
Linda: I think it is, but can you read it anyway?
Slash: Sure. *reads it, and suddenly starts sniffling*
Linda: Slash?
Slash: *sniff, sniff*
Linda: Are you okay?
Slash: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!
Linda: That is NOT a good sign.
Slash: So sad! *gives her the fic* I can't read it again, it'll make me cry harder!
Linda: Um, *reads it over* Well........it is a sad little tale about our buddy Jam. It's a secret nobody knew, about a tragic accident at his birth. He actually had a twin sister named Crystal (who was attached to his stomach at birth) but when she contracted a disease when they were seperated she died, and during the story when Jam's ten he reflects back on that......terrible........moment..........*drops the fanfic* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*Slash and Linda put their arms around each other and sob uncontrollably*
Jam: *walks onstage* Am I missing something?
*Slash hands him the fanfic*
Jam: *reads it, and suddenly hugs Slash and cries*
*Now everyone's crying*
Me: What is with you guys! You know it's just a story, right?
Slash: But, but, it's so sad!!!! *continues crying*
Me: *sigh* Well, I guess worse comes to worse. I'm gonna have to continue the next chapter when these guys calm down.
Nancy: *walks onstage* You drama kings and queens go backstage and calm down. I'll read.
Me: Thank you.
*The sad Kids go backstage*
Nancy: Okay, our fifth and final story review for today is "The Adventure of the Snowboard Kids' Lives" by Angewomon 2000. The story goes as follows; an evil girl named Renalia is plotting to hypnotize Snow Town when our darling Snowboard Kids are at the tender age of 3 years old (with the exception of Linda, who's 4). The little toddlers wake up with no mommies or daddies, and confusion sets in. So the little things go up to a mysterious tower they see, hoping their lost parents are inside, and they meet Serena, who has almost been killed by Renalia. With a little help from Aeris, the Little Ancient, our Snowboard Kids are finally able to overcome the big bad evil girl and save their parents -and the whole town- from certain destruction. The bottom line is, Sci-Fi, adventure, and (the cutest part of all!) Us Snowboard Kids as ADORABLE LITTLE CHIBIS!!!! You can't go wrong there.
Slash: *walks back onstage* Well, that's it for today. Until next time. *hugs Nancy and cries*
Nancy: *pets Slash's head* That'll do, pig. That'll do.
---------------
Me: Hello and welcome back to Slash and Linda: The Fic Critics. Let us begin, shall we?
Linda: Thanks. Okay, can I have the list? Thanks again. And our first-
Slash: WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! *runs in with a long piece of toilet paper trailing off of his shoe* I was going poopies.
Me/Linda: ........
Me: We didn't need to know that.
Slash: Too bad. So what's our first story?
Linda: .....
Me: I'll be leaving now.
Linda: Yes! RUN! Get outta here! Slash will scare you even more!
Slash: No I won't.
Linda: And our first story for THIS episode is, "We've Got the Wrong Schedules" By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: *waves a little flag* Yay.
Linda: Read and review, Slash.
Slash: *drops the flag* Hm. *grabs the papers, reads the fic*
Linda: Well?
Slash: It's not finished.
Linda: Tell us about it anyway!
Slash: Well, the three siblings wake up to the most dreaded morning of all, the first day of school. After several attempts at different pranks to serve as alarm clocks, they hurry off to school, and when they get there they hold each others' schedules for each other, which turns out to get all mixed up when everyone grabs the wrong schedules. And sadly, the fic is not finished, so it's up to you to make up the rest.
Linda: Maybe from now on we shouldn't review unfinished fics.
Slash: Maybe. So what's the bottom line, Linds?
Linda: Don't call me that. So the bottom line is, although it's not finished, it certainly was a humor fic in progress.
Slash: Next fic.
Linda: Oh good! You didn't scream in my ear this time. Our next fanfic would be............"What the Snowboard Kids and Digidestined-
Slash: NO! NO MORE DIGIMON!!! THIS IS A PURELY SNOWBOARD KIDS COUNCIL HERE!!!!!
Linda: *blink blink* Uh, Jam?
Jam: *comes out from behind the curtain* Yes?
Linda: Could you replace Slash for this next review?
Jam: Sure. *pushes Slash out of the way*
Slash: Hey! It's not, it's not, hey!
Jam: Stop stuttering. You sound like Ozzy Osbourne.
Linda: Boo. *thumbs-down*
Jam: Hey, Ozzy's cool.
Linda: I was booing your pun.
Jam: W-what pun is that.......
Slash: Can I resume my place in this fanfic now?
Jam: No. *pushes Slash offstage*
Slash: Yeek! *crash noises heard*
Jam: *dusts off hands* There. So Linda, what's the fanfic?
Linda: "What the Snowboard Kids and Digidestined did" By Angewomon 2000.
Jam: Cool. So....now I read the fanfic and summarize it?
Linda: Right.
Jam: Booyah. *reads it*
Jam: *blinks*
Jam: JEANETTE WATCHES ME CHANGING AND THEN TELLS EVERYONE I'M WEARING POKEMON BOXERS?!?!?
Linda: *is trying very hard to supress her giggles*
Jam: Uh, it's Easter, I forgot to plan the party, some of the kids are at the supermarket, the end. *runs off, gets Slash, drags him back on stage and then proceeds to cuss out Linda* YOU LITTLE [*beep*] I'M GONNA [*beeepin-beep*] YOU!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU [*beepbeep*] DO THIS TO ME I'M GONNA [*beep*] KILL YOU!!!
Censors Offstage: Phew, that was hard.
Me: Why don't you guys move on to the next fanfic?
Linda: Okay. This next one is called, "I Once Had A Werewolf for a Brother" by Angewomon 2000.
Slash: And, it goes like this. After Jam falls asleep and thinks he has the flu, Wendy conducts some experiments that prove that, after a blood transfusion, Jam has contracted an inherited disorder that can turn him into a werewolf. Thankfully, in the beginning he's only in the "puppy stage" but later on he gets more and more dangerous, and it turns out that Taichi (blinks, then frowns)
Linda: Slash, it's a crossover. Just keep reading.
Slash: Tai has to rescue Kari from Jam because he's a werewolf. So, one night he breaks down his door, he chases Kari, and..........this is taking too long. I'm gonna make a long story short. They split into teams, and somewhere in Town Square they happen across Sinobin, who lends a helping hand. They get led to a cave where they hear screams, where they discover Jam in great pain. So Wendy finds a temporary cure for the illness, and gives it to him, but later the screams are STILL there!!! They find Jam, but unfortunately they also find Kari, who's going to turn into a werewolf in a matter of minutes. THE HORROR!!! KARI AND JAM RUN AMUCK AND CHASE EVERYONE and the problem is that now there's TWO werewolves!!! But, there's still hope. A little blossom called the Moon Flower, which can cure ALL symptoms of werewoof
Linda: Wolf.
Slash: ........ALL symptoms of wereWOLF transformation. But unfortunately we happen upon Mr. Kuehnemund and Kenneth Nathan Ritcher, and the horrors continue from there because there's still no friggin' Moon Flower-
Linda: Restriction of language....
Slash: SCREW YOU!!! Anyway, not only do they have to find a Moon Flower and a Night Fruit AND a Gypsy Root, but now they have to avoid a ghost named Spooky (who actually helps them later on). So then they mix the ingredients, they make the tranquilizer darts, and the plan is put into action. They manage to set out and hit the werewolves with the darts, and when they are turned back into human, everyone throws a HUGE party and the story is settled peacefully.
Linda: The bottom line? A quote from Tommy in Chapter 10 when everyone's cheering. "When's lunch?"
Slash: For some reason I can't imagine Sinobin saying "yippee."
Linda: Neither can I. But this story kicks butt, and I really suggest you read it. Plus, it's finished! Doesn't get any better than that.
Slash: Next story!
Linda: You read my mind. Our next tale is.........."Memories Return" by Angewomon2000.
Slash: It sounds kinda sad.
Linda: I think it is, but can you read it anyway?
Slash: Sure. *reads it, and suddenly starts sniffling*
Linda: Slash?
Slash: *sniff, sniff*
Linda: Are you okay?
Slash: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!
Linda: That is NOT a good sign.
Slash: So sad! *gives her the fic* I can't read it again, it'll make me cry harder!
Linda: Um, *reads it over* Well........it is a sad little tale about our buddy Jam. It's a secret nobody knew, about a tragic accident at his birth. He actually had a twin sister named Crystal (who was attached to his stomach at birth) but when she contracted a disease when they were seperated she died, and during the story when Jam's ten he reflects back on that......terrible........moment..........*drops the fanfic* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*Slash and Linda put their arms around each other and sob uncontrollably*
Jam: *walks onstage* Am I missing something?
*Slash hands him the fanfic*
Jam: *reads it, and suddenly hugs Slash and cries*
*Now everyone's crying*
Me: What is with you guys! You know it's just a story, right?
Slash: But, but, it's so sad!!!! *continues crying*
Me: *sigh* Well, I guess worse comes to worse. I'm gonna have to continue the next chapter when these guys calm down.
Nancy: *walks onstage* You drama kings and queens go backstage and calm down. I'll read.
Me: Thank you.
*The sad Kids go backstage*
Nancy: Okay, our fifth and final story review for today is "The Adventure of the Snowboard Kids' Lives" by Angewomon 2000. The story goes as follows; an evil girl named Renalia is plotting to hypnotize Snow Town when our darling Snowboard Kids are at the tender age of 3 years old (with the exception of Linda, who's 4). The little toddlers wake up with no mommies or daddies, and confusion sets in. So the little things go up to a mysterious tower they see, hoping their lost parents are inside, and they meet Serena, who has almost been killed by Renalia. With a little help from Aeris, the Little Ancient, our Snowboard Kids are finally able to overcome the big bad evil girl and save their parents -and the whole town- from certain destruction. The bottom line is, Sci-Fi, adventure, and (the cutest part of all!) Us Snowboard Kids as ADORABLE LITTLE CHIBIS!!!! You can't go wrong there.
Slash: *walks back onstage* Well, that's it for today. Until next time. *hugs Nancy and cries*
Nancy: *pets Slash's head* That'll do, pig. That'll do.