Part FOUR!
P.S. A few slightly adult-themed wisecracks and situations pop up in this chapter, which makes this fic live up to the PG rating. Plus, I don't own the film, "Man on the Moon".
---------------
Me: Hola amigos y bienvienidos a la fanfic, "Slash and Linda; The Fic Critics.", Etapa Cuatro!
Slash: Burrito.
Linda: So what's the starter story for this chapter?
Me: That would be "A Snowboard Carol," by MH-001. And guess what Slash? You're the main character in this one.
Slash: Ole!
Linda: ..........Right. Slash, um, here's the story now read. *gives him the story*
Slash: Hm. *reads it* Uh, it's not the holidays yet.
Linda: JUST READ IT HEDGEHOG BOY!!!!
Slash: So my hair is spiky. That doesn't automatically make me Sonic. (reads the fic AGAIN)
Linda: Done?
Slash: Yes. Okay! The story is about me, who is sadly suffering from the highest heartburn symptoms of all time from a really disgusting plate of chili. Unfortunately the "meal of a thousand nightmares" goes straight to my brain when I'm sleeping, thus creating an odd sort of dream involving myself as "Slashenezer Scrooge," a crabby ten-year-old who's got HIS OWN JOB and hates the holidays as well as everyone. He gets visited by three ghosts (as well as a dude wrapped in Nintendo 64 controllers called Jacob Jamly) who tells me I'm gonna MEET those three ghosts later on. So I do! I get to see Tiny Tom stuffing his face with potato chips, I see my friends all grown up (and Nancy looking like a hot babe) and in the end they teach me the true virtues of holiday spirit and friendship. The End.
Linda: Awesome. So my final comment on this is, if you want an interesting little winter tale to read on the holidays, this is it.
Slash: No restrictions apply.
Linda: Right. What's the next one?
Me: "Aeris's Nightmare," By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Is there gonna be-
Linda: I'm gonna tell Angie you're dissing her Digimon characters.
Slash: I WASN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE STINKIN' DIGIMON CHARACTERS!!
Linda: You just did.
Slash: Darn!
Linda: Darn is right. So here's the story. Read.
Slash: Hooked on phonics worked for me!
Linda: READ!
Slash: FINE! *reads it* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Linda: What?
Slash: *talks like Latka from the Jim Carrey movie "Man on the Moon"* IS SCARY! IS TERRIBLE! I, I DO NOT EVEN LIKE IT!!!
Linda: *picks up the fanfic he dropped and reads it* Us Snowboard Kids on the ground, motionless, lying in our own blood? Yeesh, this sure isn't like Angie!
Slash: IS TERRIBLE!
Linda: Shut up. So now what?
Slash: They find out that that little bitch from earlier-
Linda: SLASH!!!
Slash: Oops. Um, that GIRL from earlier, Renalia, is at it again. It's up to Aeris's siblings to rid her of her terrible nightmares and finish her servant Renara once and for all.
Linda: Does she?
Slash: She sure does. Next fic!
Linda: Hold on! I haven't given the bottom line yet?
Slash: Is that absolutely necessary?
Linda: Yes!
Slash: Fine then, do so.
Linda: The bottom line is, love it or leave it, because this is certainly one fic to be remembered.
Slash: Next fic now!
Linda: I didn't forget. Our third story is, "The Halloween of Terror with the Snowboard Kids." By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Is it just me or has Angie slipped into a darker side while she wrote these next few?
Linda: No clue. But let's read anyway. *they read it* And now here's Slash with the update.
Slash: This is the eve-ning news with Slash Kamei. Today, there has been a bad tragedy at the Kuehnemund household. Their TV broke. How did it happen? Nooooooooobody knows. Here's Jam Kuehnemund himself.
Jam: *from behind curtain* Were handling this tragedy great........keep on going, Slash, you're doing great.
Linda: *whispers in Slash's ear*
Slash: Oh! This just in..........Jam has doodoo for brains!
Jam: HEY!
Slash: Wait, there's more! *Linda whispers something else* If, if brains were gas, Jam wouldn't have enough, to fill up a car, and go around the block twice. That's all for the eve-ning news with Slash Kamei.
Jam: YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!!! *runs out from behind curtain*
Slash: CUT! *gets tackled by Jam*
Linda: Um, let ME do the description for this fanfic. It starts with Atlus getting mad and sending the Snowboard Kids, Angewomon, her little sister, and a few of our friends to Chillingham, a creepy place in England. We have to stay there the whole time, and unfortunately for us, as Wendy explained, our protection we were supposed to have is not present.
Slash: *pokes his head out of fight cloud* They forgot the condoms?
Linda: ENOUGH WITH THE PERVERTED JOKES!!! Anyway, after a debate about hitting ghosts with kendo sticks, our personal belongings are given to us and we are escorted to Chillingham just in time for Halloween.
Slash: Oh the inhumanity.
Jam: I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!! *grabs Slash and drags him back into the fight*
Linda: So we are forced to tough it out in that castle, being split up and put in different rooms (with Tommy actually being happy where he is [the kitchen]) and trying to deal with wicked ghosts, cadavers, killer rats, torture chambers, Slash's ghostbuster gun thingy made of a vacuum cleaner and three paper clips, and the like. Eventually we get by fine, but we're all scared as anything.
Linda: The bottom line? A scene from Chapter 1...
[" There's no way out now," the woman inside said. " The only other way is by pushing the buzzer in your room. If you push it, you'll all
leave, get fired, and Atlus will become a Pokemon producer."
" Push the buzzer and die," Jam threatened the others.}
Linda: And that's the end of tale number three.
Slash: What's the next one?
Linda: "True Love Does Come in Song" by Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Awww.....
Linda: I know, sweet huh? Wanna read it?
Slash: Sure ^_^ *reads the fic* IT'S JAM AND WENDY!!!!
Jam: *from behind curtain* Yes!
Slash: I wanna see 'em making out!
Linda: That can be arranged.
Jam: IT CAN?
Linda: Continuing..........*reads the fic* Jam needs to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for Wendy, but after returning home empty-handed he writes a sweet little song for her instead. After he finishes it, he goes to Wendy's house, gives it to her, and the resolution ends happily ever after.
Slash: And our fifth and final fic review for this chapter is "My Report on the Snowboard Kids' Lives" By Angewomon 2000.
Linda: I usually say that part.
Slash: My turn. And now I will describe the fic. *ahem*. In this charming little tale, Angie spends a few days at the house where we all live in, writing down the funny things that happen.
Linda: That's it?
Slash:........That's it!
Me: That was disappointingly short. Oh, and by the way Slash, I have a little story for you. *hands him a piece of paper*
Slash: *reads it, gets wide eyes, and suddenly starts drooling*
Linda: Uh, Miss Authoress?........
Me: Yes?
Linda: That wouldn't happen to be that one story your online buddy wrote about me and him, would it?
Me: Yes, why?
Slash: Hey Lin-da..........
Linda: No.
Slash: YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!!!!
Linda: That fanfic is an NC-17 fic about you and me and I know that after reading it it's gonna throw you into a MOOD. So don't start.
Slash: C'mon, you know you wanna. *gets a little too close to her and starts.........touching and stuff*
Linda: HANDS OFF!!!!!!! *smacks him across the face a good ten times*
Slash: ..............ow.
Linda: That'll teach you not to put yer paws on me, little boy.
Me: Uh.........why don't we go to the next chapter now before this PG fic goes up to PG-13........
P.S. A few slightly adult-themed wisecracks and situations pop up in this chapter, which makes this fic live up to the PG rating. Plus, I don't own the film, "Man on the Moon".
---------------
Me: Hola amigos y bienvienidos a la fanfic, "Slash and Linda; The Fic Critics.", Etapa Cuatro!
Slash: Burrito.
Linda: So what's the starter story for this chapter?
Me: That would be "A Snowboard Carol," by MH-001. And guess what Slash? You're the main character in this one.
Slash: Ole!
Linda: ..........Right. Slash, um, here's the story now read. *gives him the story*
Slash: Hm. *reads it* Uh, it's not the holidays yet.
Linda: JUST READ IT HEDGEHOG BOY!!!!
Slash: So my hair is spiky. That doesn't automatically make me Sonic. (reads the fic AGAIN)
Linda: Done?
Slash: Yes. Okay! The story is about me, who is sadly suffering from the highest heartburn symptoms of all time from a really disgusting plate of chili. Unfortunately the "meal of a thousand nightmares" goes straight to my brain when I'm sleeping, thus creating an odd sort of dream involving myself as "Slashenezer Scrooge," a crabby ten-year-old who's got HIS OWN JOB and hates the holidays as well as everyone. He gets visited by three ghosts (as well as a dude wrapped in Nintendo 64 controllers called Jacob Jamly) who tells me I'm gonna MEET those three ghosts later on. So I do! I get to see Tiny Tom stuffing his face with potato chips, I see my friends all grown up (and Nancy looking like a hot babe) and in the end they teach me the true virtues of holiday spirit and friendship. The End.
Linda: Awesome. So my final comment on this is, if you want an interesting little winter tale to read on the holidays, this is it.
Slash: No restrictions apply.
Linda: Right. What's the next one?
Me: "Aeris's Nightmare," By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Is there gonna be-
Linda: I'm gonna tell Angie you're dissing her Digimon characters.
Slash: I WASN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE STINKIN' DIGIMON CHARACTERS!!
Linda: You just did.
Slash: Darn!
Linda: Darn is right. So here's the story. Read.
Slash: Hooked on phonics worked for me!
Linda: READ!
Slash: FINE! *reads it* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Linda: What?
Slash: *talks like Latka from the Jim Carrey movie "Man on the Moon"* IS SCARY! IS TERRIBLE! I, I DO NOT EVEN LIKE IT!!!
Linda: *picks up the fanfic he dropped and reads it* Us Snowboard Kids on the ground, motionless, lying in our own blood? Yeesh, this sure isn't like Angie!
Slash: IS TERRIBLE!
Linda: Shut up. So now what?
Slash: They find out that that little bitch from earlier-
Linda: SLASH!!!
Slash: Oops. Um, that GIRL from earlier, Renalia, is at it again. It's up to Aeris's siblings to rid her of her terrible nightmares and finish her servant Renara once and for all.
Linda: Does she?
Slash: She sure does. Next fic!
Linda: Hold on! I haven't given the bottom line yet?
Slash: Is that absolutely necessary?
Linda: Yes!
Slash: Fine then, do so.
Linda: The bottom line is, love it or leave it, because this is certainly one fic to be remembered.
Slash: Next fic now!
Linda: I didn't forget. Our third story is, "The Halloween of Terror with the Snowboard Kids." By Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Is it just me or has Angie slipped into a darker side while she wrote these next few?
Linda: No clue. But let's read anyway. *they read it* And now here's Slash with the update.
Slash: This is the eve-ning news with Slash Kamei. Today, there has been a bad tragedy at the Kuehnemund household. Their TV broke. How did it happen? Nooooooooobody knows. Here's Jam Kuehnemund himself.
Jam: *from behind curtain* Were handling this tragedy great........keep on going, Slash, you're doing great.
Linda: *whispers in Slash's ear*
Slash: Oh! This just in..........Jam has doodoo for brains!
Jam: HEY!
Slash: Wait, there's more! *Linda whispers something else* If, if brains were gas, Jam wouldn't have enough, to fill up a car, and go around the block twice. That's all for the eve-ning news with Slash Kamei.
Jam: YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!!!! *runs out from behind curtain*
Slash: CUT! *gets tackled by Jam*
Linda: Um, let ME do the description for this fanfic. It starts with Atlus getting mad and sending the Snowboard Kids, Angewomon, her little sister, and a few of our friends to Chillingham, a creepy place in England. We have to stay there the whole time, and unfortunately for us, as Wendy explained, our protection we were supposed to have is not present.
Slash: *pokes his head out of fight cloud* They forgot the condoms?
Linda: ENOUGH WITH THE PERVERTED JOKES!!! Anyway, after a debate about hitting ghosts with kendo sticks, our personal belongings are given to us and we are escorted to Chillingham just in time for Halloween.
Slash: Oh the inhumanity.
Jam: I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!! *grabs Slash and drags him back into the fight*
Linda: So we are forced to tough it out in that castle, being split up and put in different rooms (with Tommy actually being happy where he is [the kitchen]) and trying to deal with wicked ghosts, cadavers, killer rats, torture chambers, Slash's ghostbuster gun thingy made of a vacuum cleaner and three paper clips, and the like. Eventually we get by fine, but we're all scared as anything.
Linda: The bottom line? A scene from Chapter 1...
[" There's no way out now," the woman inside said. " The only other way is by pushing the buzzer in your room. If you push it, you'll all
leave, get fired, and Atlus will become a Pokemon producer."
" Push the buzzer and die," Jam threatened the others.}
Linda: And that's the end of tale number three.
Slash: What's the next one?
Linda: "True Love Does Come in Song" by Angewomon 2000.
Slash: Awww.....
Linda: I know, sweet huh? Wanna read it?
Slash: Sure ^_^ *reads the fic* IT'S JAM AND WENDY!!!!
Jam: *from behind curtain* Yes!
Slash: I wanna see 'em making out!
Linda: That can be arranged.
Jam: IT CAN?
Linda: Continuing..........*reads the fic* Jam needs to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for Wendy, but after returning home empty-handed he writes a sweet little song for her instead. After he finishes it, he goes to Wendy's house, gives it to her, and the resolution ends happily ever after.
Slash: And our fifth and final fic review for this chapter is "My Report on the Snowboard Kids' Lives" By Angewomon 2000.
Linda: I usually say that part.
Slash: My turn. And now I will describe the fic. *ahem*. In this charming little tale, Angie spends a few days at the house where we all live in, writing down the funny things that happen.
Linda: That's it?
Slash:........That's it!
Me: That was disappointingly short. Oh, and by the way Slash, I have a little story for you. *hands him a piece of paper*
Slash: *reads it, gets wide eyes, and suddenly starts drooling*
Linda: Uh, Miss Authoress?........
Me: Yes?
Linda: That wouldn't happen to be that one story your online buddy wrote about me and him, would it?
Me: Yes, why?
Slash: Hey Lin-da..........
Linda: No.
Slash: YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!!!!
Linda: That fanfic is an NC-17 fic about you and me and I know that after reading it it's gonna throw you into a MOOD. So don't start.
Slash: C'mon, you know you wanna. *gets a little too close to her and starts.........touching and stuff*
Linda: HANDS OFF!!!!!!! *smacks him across the face a good ten times*
Slash: ..............ow.
Linda: That'll teach you not to put yer paws on me, little boy.
Me: Uh.........why don't we go to the next chapter now before this PG fic goes up to PG-13........