When The Light Returned, Chapter Three: by Phoenix Pinion
Disclaimer (yet again) – I own nothing but the story idea, and this is not meant for profit! Please don't sue
Run. Just run, and maybe Yuffie won't notice how close you are to a breakdown. Run, and maybe you can put Aerith behind you.
…Fat chance of that ever happening.
Doing just as my mind tells me, I run, stumbling a little from shock and grief, feet slapping on glassy floors to propel me to my quarters. I slam the door behind me and slide to the floor, trembling all over, feeling suddenly as weak as an old man who'd just run a marathon. These feelings I have…so strange…so new…so painful…
Never before have I loved someone like this. Never before have I even loved someone…until I met Aerith.
FlashbackEyes wide, the people of Traverse Town quietly gossip about the lady in pink. The Flower Girl, she calls herself, having never revealed her real name (if she has one), but her assumed name is reasonable enough: there is constantly a small basket the she carries by the handle in the crook of one arm, filled with strange-looking blossoms; certainly not native to the town. She has obviously been blown in by the death of her world, and beautiful though she is, she seems different, and people feel awkward or embarrassed conversing with her. She is a sort of entrepreneur, selling her attractive flowers for one munny each, and every day she seems to have a full basket, even though some people could swear that she sells her whole basket-full before the end of each day – usually to the orphan children of the town or to the elderly, though sometimes to an adult who just wants a little bit of color in their dull lives.
Though she is incredibly lovely and seems very congenial, many people are repelled by a strange aura around her. She is just so innocent, so pure, that others fear she can see their own sins if they approach her; if they happen to buy one of her flowers, they take it and quickly leave, clutching the flower to their chest and looking behind their shoulder, perhaps fearing her reproaching their wrongdoings and past mistakes, or sprouting wings and flying back up to Heaven where she belonged.
Occasionally she can be seen conversing with the owner of the Weapons shop, Cid, and her large green eyes look troubled as they talk long into the night. Only a few words can be heard by curious browsers in the shop, and those are 'Cloud' and 'Sephiroth' – though those words are just part of jumbled nonsense, for the shoppers do not know what they mean.
The day that Yuffie and Leon straggle in, they are treated with considerable sympathy and pity, not so much so as The Flower Girl (her strange aura is enough to drive the most generous and kind-hearted away). Leon is quiet and very cold-hearted; his eyes suggest that he's seen devastation and death in his short time in this universe. There is also a strange type of guilt in them, as if he committed some sort of terrible crime in his awful past. The day he meets Aerith, though, his eyes somehow light up.
Not intimidated by her innocence, he slowly walks to her, eyes widening at her sheer beauty. Turning, she smiles blindingly at him and chirps, "Hello…would you like to buy a hibiscus flower? They're only one munny." Leon stares at her, seemingly drowning in her brilliant green orbs, in her astounding smile and pearly white teeth, then gives a tiny smile, the first that anyone in Traverse Town have ever seen.
"I'll take two." He says quietly. His usual cold voice has warmed up a bit. She cocks her head confusedly at his odd request, then plucks two flowers from her basket and hands them to him. Digging out a ten-munny piece from his purse, Leon closes her fingers around it and refuses her offer of change. He gets up as if to leave, then turns with a flourish, startling The Flower Girl as he bows extravagantly and presents one of the flowers he bought to her. "For you," he murmurs. Smiling a bit, amused at his princely attitude, she bows back and gently takes the flower back, tucking it into her pocket instead of her basket.
Leon turns, about to leave, when he hears The Flower Girl's voice calling quietly, "My name is Aerith."
He stops with a jerk, then calls over his shoulder, "And mine is…Leon."
As he exits the alleyway Aerith is in, Yuffie, who had been watching from around the corner, narrows her eyes at him and asks confusedly, "And what the heck was that all about?"
Delicately bringing his flower to his nose and sniffing, he sighs and replies, "I just met an angel, Yuffie."
End Flashback
Yes, an angel. We slowly became friends after that first meeting, though I had always loved her even if it was only in my subconscious. It's still so hard to believe that Cloud came and that Aerith…tears roll down my face as I remember those eyes of hers staring into his – she had never looked at me in that way before, and we've known each other for almost four years now. I almost expect that I'll wake up if I pinch myself, and it will all have been just a bad dream. Yes…a bad dream…then Aerith will be mine, just as it should be, and Cloud would not have come. After a moment of reflection, I actually pinch myself, as if maybe, just maybe, my insane logic is true, and I will awaken warm in my bed, perhaps sweating from the awful, awful, awful nightmare that had just occurred; I will find Aerith, give her a warm hug, pronounce my love to her repeatedly and just be content with her silence and her beautiful face against my chest.Her…her silence. As I think of this, my mouth drops open just the slightest bit. Has she…ever loved me? Ever fantasized about me like I have her (so many times), or yearned to see my face when she lay in her bed at night, or just felt happy and content like never before when she knew I was around, or…or…
Full-blown realization hits me so hard that my muscles tense and I fall back against my door in shock.
Oh God she's never loved me never loved me never loved me never loved me never…
How could I not have realized it before…Oh God…what an idiot…what a stupid, fucking idiot!
As these thoughts beat me senseless with their frightening crescendo and numb me with paralyzing fear of their truth,
( "What a serious boy. 16, and he hasn't found a girl to cherish yet. I'm afraid that, with his inexperience with love, the first time he gets his heart broken will be so hard for him to deal with…" )
I cry, sobbing loud and hard, slumping into a sit and putting my head in my hands…
Flashback
"Squall, why haven't you had a girlfriend yet?" Sitting on a dock and dangling their toes in the water, three fifteen year-old boys quietly converse. The sun is slowly setting and sets a beautiful orange and purple backdrop against their backs. They are friends since childhood; quite an odd combination, considering that two of the boys are loud, rambunctious, and have had many a love so far in their young lives. The one on the right side, Squall, has eyes too solemn for his age, and seldom feels the need to talk. His two friends look at him, waiting for an answer, but as usual he just stares ahead, eyes narrow, as if he is worlds away in his mind.
"He just doesn't care," one of the boys teases. "The girls certainly fall over themselves for him, but he couldn't care less."
Glancing at them, the boy with eyes too old and a mouth hardly used just says, "I don't love them."
One of the friends laughs. "He's waiting for true love. Isn't that right, Squall? Waitin' for the right girl."
"Aw, that's fairy tale stuff," the other complains. "Oh well. I gotta get home or my mom'll have my head. See ya, guys. Get a girlfriend, Squall!"
End Flashback
Yes, I'm not supposed to care…I didn't care, until Aerith taught me how…I'm supposed to be Mr. 'I don't give a damn', and it's supposed to be me who breaks their hearts, not the other way around…And when I found my fairy-tale love, it wasn't supposed to be unrequited…! I try to staunch my tears
I don't give a damn…I don't give a damn…I don't give a damn…
but they still fall down my cheeks. Obviously you do give a damn, my friend, my mind taunts me. Well, who can blame me? I just lost my girl, my girl, to someone I've only heard about from many narrations from Aerith and Yuffie and never actually seen until just a few minutes – Was it really only minutes? – ago. Who knows what they are going to do, since she very obviously loves him over me, and they just went to her room together. I shiver a little – whatever it is, it will be something her and I have never gotten close to doing before.
In a way, I hate you, Aerith, for teaching me to love, and then taking my heart and breaking it anyway…but in a way, I will forever love you, Aerith, for teaching me to love, and care, and to love and care for you most of all.
I don't know what to do now. I just don't know what to do…
~To Be Continued
Author's Notes – The last two sentences kind of sum up my feelings about this chapter. I really tried so hard to make Leon seem dismayed, anguished, and shocked about Cloud. But I have a feeling that it just doesn't have much intensity…if you guys didn't like this chapter, please tell me, because I'll remove it and start it over if I get enough reviews about this. Feel free to criticize (but please don't flame) me about this chapter if you didn't like it.
Um, I haven't ever played Final Fantasy VIII, so I really have no idea about Squall's past. That second flashback probably has nothing to do with his real past…I've just always had this impression that all the girls love him and he just doesn't really care about any of them. Then he sees Aerith and it's love at first sight… *sigh* How romantic… And I'd like to thank Darkmoon Samurai for his input on Squall's past. I LOVE YOU, DS!!!
Anyway, the next chapter will be from Cloud's POV, I think, because he's the only one I haven't written a chapter about now. Reviews are gratefully accepted, especially about this chapter. And it would help if you could suggest possible ideas for my next chapter too! Thanks so much! Expect the next chapter anytime between three days to two weeks from now (because I don't think it's gonna be possible for me to write over Christmas break, which starts next week). I'll try to post it as soon as possible! ~PP