When The Light Returned, Chapter Eight: by Phoenix Pinion
Disclaimer – I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor any of its characters. I simply don't the story idea. Please do not sue
Nothing is the same anymore.
Ever since he's been here…well…nothing has been right. It is hard to explain, really. But there just seems to be auras of…of…I don't know, wrongness in the place. Aerith, ignoring Leon? Hardly speaking a word to him? Preposterous! It was, at least, until he showed up. Leon, hiding in his room all day? Refusing to eat or drink? Attempting suicide? Utterly ridiculous. At least, that is what I thought until, you guessed it, he showed up.
Hell…I even am doubting myself now. Back when I had a world, I never doubted anything I did. When I stole my teammate's materia and ventured to Wutai, I had no reservations, not for even a second. It was all for the good of my struggling hometown, I thought. Cloud and the others could fend for themselves. Even when I was captured by that machine and rescued by the very people I had stolen from, I did not have any misgivings about my earlier actions. They even let me rejoin their party, and I still did not regret what I had done. I just chalked their forgiveness up to my dazzling personality.
Any and all of the emotions I have ever felt in my life have not been doubted by me. I would not call myself egotistical, but I must say that I have never, ever second-guessed myself. But now, he comes back, and here I am, not knowing which direction is up, confused about my own thoughts and scruples for the first time.
It was truly obvious from the moment he laid eyes on Aerith's pretty face, her entrancing smile and her lovely green eyes that Leon was head over heels for the girl. I could immediately see it when he brought the little hibiscus flower up to his nose and sniffed, and when that adorably goofy and embarrassed smile broke out on his face. A few weeks after that first meeting, he admitted to me that he really was in love with her, that she was The One. He clearly was ashamed to be talking to me about such a mushy and lovey-dovey topic, from the way he did not want to meet my eyes and the little blush on his cheeks. I mean, come on – Leon, Mr. Badass himself, forced to confide in and ask the advice of a friend about a love interest? "Um, yeah…I really do like her…a lot." He mumbled the words, his eyes shifting unusually frequently to any random in the room except my face. I could not help but smile at his awkwardly expressed love, feeling a surge of happiness that he had finally found someone for himself.
Then, I did not doubt my feelings. The whole time during those three years, I did not have second thoughts as I subtly tried to nudge the two together through conveniently placed romantic dinners, starlit talks that I ducked out of, and my separate conversations with the two of them about the subject. I simply felt devious and slightly manipulative as I watched the two of them get closer. In my mentality, all of my pushes were for a good cause. Leon could truly be happy and finally be able to get over the death of his former lover, family and world. Aerith could stop having nightmares about Cloud, and learn to love someone else. With that in mind, I felt no jealousies, no angers, just happiness whenever my eyes caught Leon awkwardly taking Aerith's hand in his, or Aerith shyly smiling at him across the dinner table.
"Look at this," Leon murmured to Yuffie, leaning over his bed to rummage quietly in a dresser drawer. Yuffie was sitting next to him on his large bed, and leaned forward eagerly. She always loved to talk to him late at night when one, or both, of them could not sleep, and tonight was no exception. She felt as though she could discuss anything with her friend and he would understand. She had nothing to discuss, but it was a comforting feeling, nonetheless. Leon finished his searching and produced a small bundle of rags held carefully in his hands; disappointed and confused, Yuffie cocked an eyebrow at him. "Wait for it," he winked, and slowly unraveled the package. As the final strip fell away, Yuffie's deep brown eyes widened to saucers. A beautiful large green pendant was facing her, and the light was shimmering off of it in such a way that she could perfectly see her reflection on its face.
"God, Leon, it's gorgeous!" were the only words that she was able to utter. "Where did you get it?"
"My mother," the man replied quietly, as if saying it loudly would ruin the mystique that the necklace had created. Obviously Yuffie's reaction pleased him as he continued, "it was the only thing I could take with me when my world died."
"Wow," she breathed. It really was a stunning piece of jewelry; it seemed to have alight source of its own, and cast a light emerald glow in the half-lit room. Her still-wide eyes rose to his face, and she suddenly felt deeply privileged to be able to get a private glimpse such as this one into his life. He smiled at her, then, with a move that surprised both of them, reached around her and gently tied the soft black ribbons to her throat. Leaning back, his smile seemed more emotional than usual to Yuffie as her shocked hands flew to the pendant that was now around her neck.
"You look stunning, Mistress Yuffie." While there was a certain element of joking in his voice, it seemed very serious as well.
"Leon…" she murmured, unable to say anything else but his name. Unexpected feelings of wonderment were beginning to shoot through her, and a hesitant grin broke out on her face. The man in question replied with a handsome smile on his rugged face before he became serious again.
"Yuffie…I want to give this necklace to Aerith."
A sharp stab of betrayal and anger briefly rushed through her thoughts. Aerith? Aerith did not deserve something as gorgeous as this. But just as quickly as her mind thought it, the furious reflection was brushed away by happiness. Yay! It chirped in Yuffie's brain. Maybe this will be the push Aerith needs to finally get over Cloud's death. She beamed at him happily as she untied the ribbons and gently set the beautiful pendant back onto Leon's palm.
"It will match her eyes wonderfully," she whispered, hardly noticing the way her heart lit up when Leon grinned hopefully at gratefully at her…
I always wanted to help him out with his Aerith Angst (as I soon affectionately dubbed it in my mind), putting aside my own emotions to make he and Aerith happy. I figured, if the two of them were content, then I was too. But now…questions have entered my uneasy mind. I just want Leon to be happy…right?
I honestly do not believe I can answer that question right now. Because when I think of it, I think of how my heart has soared whenever he has held me. At the time it happened, I simply had kept it at the back of my mind, pushed it away and thought of Aerith and Leon's love for her. It never used to bother me that I would feel oddly complete when he was around – being around him makes me think of nothing but Leon and myself, and all thoughts of my world and former friends are erased. No one has ever had that effect on me before. It is an odd feeling, but one that I rather enjoy. At first I told myself it was because Leon is a true friend, one that has the ability to help me out with my own inner demons without even realizing it.
But now…I don't know. Are those feelings he gives me something…more?
Lately, I have been supporting him more than I ever have. Most of my time and energy since Cloud has returned has been spent on Leon; on comforting him from sadness, on wiping away the tears, and on holding him when nothing else will seem to help. "She never loved me," he'd gasp into my shoulder, sobbing helplessly and clinging to me like a lifeline. "It's alright, sweetheart, everything is going to be alright," I would desperately reply, trying to be as reassuring as I could as I gently rubbed his back in circles with my small hands. As these sessions took place, I would be seething inside at Cloud and Aerith. A part of me would be absolutely disgusted at them for putting poor Leon through such misery. However, another part of me would be basking in Leon's embrace…shuddering with delight at the feel of his strong arms around me…trembling with jealousy that the tears he shed were over another woman and that he did not feel the same way about me…
I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I've never felt this way before – about anyone. Especially not Leon! Not the man who found me dying on the side of the road and healed me, took me under his wing, gave me a home and a friendship. He should be the last one that I have any strong feelings towards. However, my mind has been thinking lately of that night; the night he put his coat over my shoulders and let me sleep in his arms. That night is one of the fondest memories I carry since I ended up at Traverse Town, and later, Hollow Bastion.
Urgh, I'm the one that's supposed to be sensible around here, damnit! I'm the one that's supposed to know what to do – the one that can help both Aerith and Leon out with love problems. I am not supposed to have a problem of my own! Especially one like this.
Do I even want Leon to be with Aerith anymore? Am I only comforting him so I can make him feel better, so I can hold him and let him hold me?
Do I…love him?
God, this is all so confusing. Cloud never should have come here. Things could have stayed the same as they always have been; Leon could have continued to follow Aerith blindly, lovingly, with those cutely awkward displays of affection and love. Aerith could have continued to slowly warm up to him, and continued to smile those pretty smiles at him. The three of us could have remained close friends and continued to have enjoyable and entertaining times together.
But now everything is ruined.
On one hand, I wish Cloud never would have come here. But on the other, I'm glad that he did…
Do I really want Leon to love Aerith? Or…or do I want him to love me instead…?
To Be Continued
Author's Notes – Oh, I'm sure all of you guys expected this. A genuinely confused and angsty chapter about Yuffie and her forbidden love for Leon. She's finally starting to realize that, all these years, she was really falling in love with him and not just becoming a closer friend with him. But does Leon feel the same way? Who knows? I kinda surprised myself with this chapter, because it really has nothing to do with the current situation our heroes are in – it's only a chapter from Yuffie's POV. You'd think that she'd be so angry at everyone that this chapter would simply be a rant of sorts, like chapter 5. But I guess she's surprising everyone, especially herself, with her confusion. She's pretty mad, but almost madder at herself for feeling this way than at anyone else.
And, oooooh, controversy! Holy crap, I never would have thought I'd get so many varied remarks about this story. About half the people that reviewed would prefer Cloud/Aerith. The other half wanted Leon/Aerith. And a few people thought I should stick with Leon/Yuffie. Well, I can tell you right now that there's no way I can please everybody with the coupling(s?) that I have chosen for this story. Hopefully you will like it simply for how it is written, however, rather than the coupling(s?) that I end up with. Thanks a lot for telling me your opinions on this!
Personally, I really don't like this chapter. It shows no emotion and has nothing to do with the story. Hell, even the flashback is oddly placed and really doesn't have much to do with anything. I may take it down and rewrite it if enough people tell me to. I'm really, really not pleased with how this turned out, but I wanted to do a chapter somewhat similar to this and this was all that I could do with it, no matter how hard I tinkered with it. Oh well…I hope you guys like it, at least! ducks as the two fans she has left pelt her with rotten tomatoes Yeah, I know it's been ages…what, a year or something? …since I updated this story. It's the summer now, and hopefully I can start updating a little more regularly. Hopefully there's still at least one person that realizes I finally updated. Please review if you read this and like/dislike/hate/love/insert emotion here it. I wanna hear from anyone! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I love you guys, I really do!! Till the next update, PP