Alchemy, Officers, and Contests

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, I wouldn't say so. I do own me, no one owns me but me. HAH! In yo face, Miercon! I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE!

Note: This happened in a dream I had a few weeks ago. Yep. I'll try to write ad much as I can remember (because, well, you know how dreams are) I also beat the FmA game. I just love the song that plays at the end! It's so inspiring!

Episode THIRTEEN

Cat Fight

It took place late at night, HQ was located in the middle of the ocean. The sounds of squacking chickens, barking dogs, flapping fish, meowing cats, and yelling girls filled the air. There was the sound of pots and pans crashing.

The 'screen' showed a dark haired girl with a low pony tail clenching her fists. The 'screen' quickly flew over to a blond, squinting her eyes.

"What did you think you were doing with my Roy-Sama?" the dark haired girl demanded.

"Hmph." the blond smirked. "all I was doing was giving MY darling Roy paperwork."

"For marriage maybe!" the other girl licked her lips, and eyed the raven haired man hiding in the corner.

"Now Ladies, please. . ." he began to say, but was interrupted by the blond.

"Now you've done it, -BLEEP- you're going down!" she pulled out a pistol and started shooting at the dark haired girl. The bullets went through.

"Who are you calling -BLEEP-, -BLEEP-?" she pulled out a fake looking sword that transformed into Ed, who ran away screaming O.o Or maybe it was Block or Brock, or whatever his name is.

"Shut your -BLEEP-" Riza took out an RPG Cannon and aimed it at the girl, who grabbed a pie out of no where and transformed it into a shield. Riza shot, and a bouncy ball flew out of the cannon, bouncing onto Breda's desk and blowing up into thousands of bubbles.

"-BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP-" Riza and the girl yelled. Havoc whistled.

"I didn't know women used such language!" he said. "well, kinda." Roy ran over to the cheering military that took up the whole world, and cheered with them while watching the fight. Greed, Envy, Gluttony, and Wrath all watched, while Lust and Sloth jumped into the fight as well. They all turned into cats. Al jumped into the fight and hugged them. For some odd reason, Ed and Gracia were making out, while Hughes was thinking of the plan to make all women in the world wear mini skirts when HE became Fuhrer of the military.

Elswhere, a random boy (Conner), stepped on a mine and exploded and disappeared from the face of the earth forever, and was sent to eternal punishment down in Hades.

The ocean turned into milk and the military ripped off their clothing to reveal swimming gear! Edward ran in.

"CANNON BALL!" he yelled, splashing everyone. Al did a back lap, or whatever it was called. The dark haired girl and Riza shoved Roy into the milk, and giggled their heads off. Roy splashed them, and all three began laughing (this reminds me of that New Kamagure Orange Road movie or something like that). Armstrong drank all the milk in one sip. Everyone drowned.

Roy gasped for air and jumped back into HQ, running around in just his swimming trunks.

"SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN!" he yelled. The alarm went off and everyone barged out of headquarters, armed and ready.

"READY!" Roy yelled, commanding the entire fleet of people with guns.

"AIM!"

"FIRE!"

They all shot, and out popped Conner, who exploded, and died a second death and got sent to Hades for eternal punishment.

Then I woke up.

Heh-heh. . . -scratched back of head- Yeee-eah. Um, Review?