When the Light Returned, Chapter Nine
Disclaimer – I own nothing except the story idea, don't sue please.
It had only been about a week since his life was ruined.
Was it five days, six days? Eight or even nine? It was a mystery to him; he no longer kept track of days. The events that had ruined his life were still fresh in his mind, but since they had happened everything seemed a blur. A blur of nothingness, really…of lonely days and nights spent sobbing hopelessly into his pillow, or into Yuffie's arms. Whichever one was closest, really.
Well, maybe not everything was a blur. His suicide attempt stood out in his mind, actually, more than anything else did. Maybe it was because he had wanted to go through with it so badly before Yuffie had stopped him – so badly that he shook with anticipation just thinking of it. Beginning to cry helplessly, she yanked the knife from his hand, and he stared at her with those hollow, dead eyes of hers, the ones that pleaded for her to leave him alone and let him finish the job. He'd stared at her and she must have seen that emotion, that begging, because she grew terrified by it, and grabbed him in her arms. She held him for almost ten minutes before he finally broke down and began to lightly weep into her shoulder.
That was the only thing that Leon had really thought about since Cloud had returned. All he could feel was that knife beginning to nick his throat, the tiny droplets of blood forming and the sharp sting of pain that it had caused. When he quietly shed tears while embracing Yuffie, he did not feel her warm arms drawn tightly over his form, nor did he feel her thin frame – even gaunter than normal – which seemed to shudder under his touch. All that he thought about was that odd feeling of peace that had come over him when he had started to draw the dagger across his throat. Then, he had felt like he could finally be happy. No more depression, he told himself. No more sadness. Well, things hadn't worked out that way, because here he was, staring emptily across his room at a few flowers that Aerith had given him, feeling more miserable than ever. They were snugly tucked into a vase that perfectly fit their size, long since dried out, a small reminder of what could have been between them – but most likely never would or could be.
Maybe he deserved to be tortured like this. Perhaps, in some past life of his, he was a terrible criminal or murderer, and now was paying for it through love gone wrong. He could just picture it – a Wild West civilization, posters stuck on every pillar and door: WANTED! LEON THE KID! Hell, maybe he was as popular as the Sundance Kid. With a sigh, he blinked away tears. Shifting the blame was getting him nowhere. In fact, nothing was getting him anywhere. It was like he was just stuck in the same moment, refusing to move forward and content in simply looking back – seeing the moment that Cloud returned over and over in his mind, picturing his almost-suicide numerous times, even thinking of the incident in the library. With every thought he second-guessed himself; was there anything that he could have done? Any way he could have turned Aerith against Cloud and gotten her for himself? He knew it would have happened no matter what he did. She had never loved him in the first place.
That thought sent a shudder through him. How much time had he spent trying to woo her into loving him? How many gifts (some silly and stupid, some very expensive trinkets) had he given her? How desperate was he for her affection? After all, he knew that she thought of him as a wonderful friend, one to talk to when she needed to talk, one to cry on when she needed to vent her emotions, one that would be there for her no matter what. He just was not satisfied with that, however – he needed her to feel more strongly about him. He had tried so hard, too; all of his efforts went into talking with her, getting to know her even better, sneaking small 'secret admirer' gifts onto her pillow. Never before had he wanted something like this so badly. And it was the one thing that he did not end up getting.
He had to have been a criminal in his past life. No one else deserved such torture.
A quiet tap on the door jarred his thoughts, and he looked up as a voice filtered through: "Leon? It's Yuffie…I'm coming in, ok?" A few moments later she gently opened the door, holding a bowl of hot, steamy soup in one hand. Carrying the warm bowl on the tips of her fingers, she slipped in through the doorway and shut the door behind her. "I brought you some soup…I figured you would be hungry. You haven't left your room for three days now." Gratefully he took the soup from her hand and started to slowly sip; he was not suicidal or depressed enough not to eat, especially Yuffie's food. She made the best soup that he had ever tasted, even better than his mother's…and that was an accomplishment. A hesitant smile tugged at her lips as Leon expressed satisfaction at the meal.
Ah, Yuffie. That girl was quite a character, to be sure – intimidated by no one, a firecracker of energy, never afraid to express her true feelings of the situation at hand. Leon had immediately felt a kinship of sorts with the young woman, ever since he had first met her. Their meeting really had been a strange one, but memorable nonetheless.
It has now been a week since I have woken up in this godforsaken forest, cold and lonely, carrying nothing except my gunblade and a small satchel containing a few healing herbs and potions, and meager amounts of food. I still no idea what had happened to my own world and know nothing about this one; I do not even know if anyone besides me is still alive. There is nothing that I truly remember from the attack, and all that I can see in my nightmares is dark shapeless masses. For some reason they terrify me more than anything else could. All that I truly wish to find is life, any signs of life, be it a town, a person…anything. I have never felt so alone in my whole life, and this dark oppressive forest is not helping matters.
With a sigh I extinguish the few remaining embers of my fire and arise, stretching a bit before beginning to gather my few remaining items. All that I know is that I must keep walking down this small, dirt path, that I must continue to press on. I need answers, and the only way I can get them is to find someone else. The odds are telling me that I will die here, but I refuse to die without a fight.
I walk hardly a mile on the trail before I hear it: a small moaning whimper to the side of the road. All at once, a surge of elation, trepidation, and excitement pulses through me; it is the first human sound I have heard yet! It could be evil, or it could be helpful, but I cannot simply run away from what I do not know. Determined, I push through the trees and bush, heading in the direction of the pained, groaning sobs, and when I reach them I stop in shock and horror.
A young girl, certainly no older than me and probably, in fact, a few years younger, lies trembling in a small clearing. Her body is practically covered in blood, and she is softly moaning in pain. She is obviously close to death. I have no time to wonder who or what could have made such dreadful injuries on her petite body, or to speculate on whether the perpetrator is still around. If I do not save her now, she will die. Without a second thought, I stride to her and kneel in front of her, my hands digging in my pouch for a potion. Her injuries are so terrible that I must use three of my remaining potions until all of those terrible deep, jagged scratches all over her body heal to fresh, pink skin. Now she lies before me, eyes still closed, breathing shallowly. I am almost afraid I was too late in her aid, but my fears are pushed aside as her eyes snap open and immediately she sits up.
Before I can even move, I feel a sharp stinging pain to the side of my head: the girl has clocked me as hard as she can with a strange wooden block that is strapped to her arm. Too weak to retaliate, I start to slump to the ground and a second later feel her push me stomach-down and straddle my back, holding my hands behind my back and rendering me helpless. Angrily, she pushes on me, digging my body into the rough dirt. Her hiss startles me as she leans down to my ear.
"You ," she said, her voice trembling with rage, "what did you do with them? Where am I? What happened to my world? Answer me!"
Despite the position that I am in, I immediately realize it: this young woman is in the same position that I am. Her world has been destroyed and she is a survivor. If I am not careful she will kill me, so I choose my words carefully.
"I found you here," I mumble quietly. "My world was destroyed and I fear that I am the only survivor. You were almost dead when I saw you, so I decided to heal you and see if you knew anything about my world."
"I don't believe you," she lashes back, pressing harder. I can feel warm blood slowly trickle down my cheek.
"Listen," I continue in a soft voice. "If I was the one that destroyed your world and killed your comrades, then I would have no reason to heal you. You must believe me – I am a survivor like you. I had nothing to do with the death of your world."
There is a moment of silence before she grudgingly rises off of me and helps me into a sitting position. "I guess you're right…I'm sorry. It's just…" she helplessly trails off, and I gently probe the wound in my head. It does not seem to be very serious, luckily, and I divert my attentions to her. I understand how she feels all too well.
"I'm Leon," extending a hand, I let her shake it.
"I'm Yuffie…" she replies, and I can tell that the adrenaline rush is gone. She looks like a small, lonely, defeated girl now; one that knows something terribly tragic has happened to her and is just now realizing it. "Oh God…they're all gone… Barret… Red XIII… Tifa… all of them…"
And in that clearing, as Yuffie begins to sob and I awkwardly pat her shoulder in condolence, I realize that I have found a friend and that I am no longer alone.
He had never considered it before, but the two of them certainly had a connection, a strange bond that classified them as something a little more than friends. It had not started out that way, slowly growing with time and sometimes needing work to maintain, but it was there. Leon had never fully understood it, however; it was not as black-and-white as his love for Aerith. His affection for the flower girl was a simple, devoted type of love, if not extremely fervent and passionate. He had never wavered or doubted it, and always understood always understood exactly how he felt about her and why. But Yuffie…she was a different story. The girl could, and often did, send him into a confused and wondering tailspin of mixed emotions. One look she sent his way could make him tremble with need. One word she would say or a certain way she wore her hair could make his breath catch in his throat. But when they talked late into the night about Aerith, sprawled comfortably on his bed, Leon never thought of her as more than a friend. All that he could think about was Aerith, was that cute way her face dimpled when she smiled, was the intense attraction he felt for her…but it was strange: the feelings that Yuffie could produce in him even made him wonder sometimes, as he tried to stop the frantic fluttering of his heart, if he was in love with two women.
Was he? With the recent events that were going on lately, all that had been on his mind was Aerith and her terrible betrayal. But…as he watched her, with his pained eyes, sit beside him and quietly encourage him to eat more – he needed to get his strength up, she said – he began to wonder again. Yuffie seemed to be the only one lately that truly cared and was worried for him; Cloud had not ever spoken a word to him, and all that Aerith had said was those hurtful words in the library. During his time of need, only one person was there for him: Yuffie. That was telling him more about Aerith than words ever could, and though on one hand he knew he must believe it because it was happening right in front of his very eyes, another side of him was desperately clinging to the past and told him that this was all a fluke, that it had to be a fluke! At first, he had believed that side. He had forced himself to believe that side, just so that he could keep some hope alive in his heart. But the day after they had gathered in the library, he realized, with a breaking heart and tears streaming down his cheeks, that Aerith really cared nothing for him. She certainly cared more for Cloud than she did for him, as terrible as it was for him to admit it.
He finally had realized it: Aerith was gone from him and would never return. What she had said in the library was a slip-up, and nothing more; how could it be anything more? His eyes had been keen enough to notice the way that she looked at Cloud. They had noticed the intense love and devotion that radiated from them. It was what he had always wanted and strived for, and without any effort at all, Cloud was receiving all of her attentions. It was a terrible feeling, to be sure, to know that he had been betrayed so harshly, so easily, but it was even worse knowing that he had been played this whole time. What a feeling it was, when he realized that she had never loved him; in fact, he believed that she had only done it because she felt sorry for him, and did not want to hurt him. Never in his life had Leon wanted anyone to feel sorry for him, to think that he was just a pathetic loser desperate for love, and yet that was what she had done the whole time she had known him.
"Hey," he was shaken from his thoughts at Yuffie's soft urgings, "do you wanna talk? You're so quiet…" For the first time, Leon noticed the intense worry radiating from her large, expressive eyes, and he pondered that for a moment. It was long moments before he finally sighed, ran his fingers through his hair, and looked up at her with tears in those haunted eyes of his.
"It's all the same old things, Yuffie, the things you've heard from me a thousand times. I doubt you want to hear them again…"
"Try me," she challenged. "I'll always listen to you. I'll always be here for you, no matter what your problem is." Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, wondering how exactly he was feeling at the moment, Leon gently ran his palm down her forehead, her cheek, suddenly noticing her sharp gasp and the way that her eyelids fluttered a bit at his touch. It was odd – he still felt as dejected as he ever had since everything had happened, but something was happening to his heart; all the walls that had protectively been built around it since Aerith had broken it were starting to weaken. He still felt love towards Aerith, but now not all of his thoughts were focused on her – they were also focused on another. With a soft little cry, Yuffie grabbed Leon's hand, with still lingered on her cheek, and held it tightly with her trembling fingers. It was a simple gesture, really. They had been physically closer than this, many times before…but that gentle touch of her hand against his seemed to mean much more to him than the other touches ever had.
"Yuffie…" he whispered. Strangely, tears were beginning to gather just beneath his eyelids, but he had no idea what emotion they represented, or why exactly he felt like crying in the first place. "Just…just hold me, please…"
Those same tears were in Yuffie's eyes as well as she fell into his embrace and held him tightly, letting him bury his face into her shoulder and cry like he had done so many times before. Leon knew that something was different this time, as he continued to cry tears that did not really seem to be tears, and as Yuffie gently skimmed her fingers up and down his back…he knew that he really was in love with two women.
To Be Continued
Author's Notes – This chapter is pretty long…and confusing…but I guess I kinda like it. Leon's still unhappy about Aerith, but he's finally finding out that she's not the only woman in the universe, and that one of his close friends cares about him more than Aerith ever could. Maybe I made him a little bit too whiny…but I think that he truly would be thinking like that…I would if I were in his shoes. The flashback didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to, but I guess it's kinda cute…maybe. I think Leon talked too much, considering he's got a reputation that he was a badass until he met Yuffie and Aerith. Oh well. Anyway, I actually plotted out what I'm going to do next…amazing that I'm thinking so far ahead, eh? I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. I'm not sure how long it will take…but it hopefully won't take TOO long. Oh, and I hope you guys that are fans of Leon/Yuffie liked this one…I thought I'd throw it in there because I've been doing so much Leon/Aerith and Cloud/Aerith. Please review if you loved/hated/insert emotion here this chapter. I really really enjoy feedback on my work. Thanks again for reading, and reviewing if you have. You guys are the best! I love y'all! Till the next update, PP