When the Light Returned, Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer – I own nothing except the story idea, don't sue please.

Leon sighed quietly as the water trickled down his body and into the drain. At Yuffie's quiet and caring insistence, he finally decided to take a shower and clean himself up; it was the first shower he had taken since Cloud had returned.

Cloud. He could finally say the name in his mind, say the actual name and not think "him" or go into a panic. His fingers massaged and kneaded his greasy hair, feeling the soap penetrating through the grime and leaving his hair soft and silky. As he brought his arms back down to his sides, he caught a glimpse of the jagged scar on his wrist, and shame flooded through his thoughts. What an idiot.

These past few days, he had been an idiot, and there was no sense in denying that anymore. His hands cupped water and then splashed it over his face, his frowning face, and he sighed again. The emotions he had felt when Cloud had walked through the door and embraced the girl they both loved were real, there was no denying that. They were real and they hurt. Never before had he been shunned in such a manner. Never before had a woman, or anyone for that matter, so thoroughly rejected him. It was a devastating feeling.

He felt almost surprised at the fact that he could so calmly, and with such remorse, go over in his mind what had happened throughout the past few days. Loneliness and dejection were in his mind, but he didn't feel like dying anymore. Wishing to stay under the warm and relaxing water for a few more moments, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

He wanted her badly, that much he knew. He loved the girl and wanted nothing more than to hug her and caress her and have her return the feelings. He wanted to kiss her and feel her kiss back. He wanted her for himself. However, even if she did love him, she also had feelings for Cloud; that much was obvious. His tortured eyes saw her hug him with such conviction and saw her lips brush against his with such love. Never before had she shown such affection with Leon.

Why had she slipped then? Why did she state that she loved Leon while Cloud's arms were wrapped around her? Could it have been a subconscious slip, or did she really just mean to say Cloud?

"So many questions," Leon mumbled. It was true; he wanted to ask Aerith so much. What was the story with Cloud? What was their past like? How long did she love him? Did she ever love Leon?

Again, he sighed. Another question, his mind said quietly. Why can't I just be happy?

Leon thought he was happy with Aerith and Yuffie in the time before Cloud, restoring their world, working hard but having an enjoyable time nonetheless. He loved both of them dearly, though in seemingly different ways. Now, however, everything was all mixed up. Cloud came back, and suddenly everything seemed wrong. Aerith ignored him and acted like their almost-romance and mutual love for the past year was nothing, completely misplaced. Yuffie was acting as concerned and caring as ever for his well-being, but this time the concern seemed for a different reason than it ought to be. Leon's head was completely tangled around so many different variables, and he became so anguished and confused that he attempted suicide.

What the hell had happened?

Her slip might have meant something, but Leon now knew enough to approach it with caution. It was entirely possible that she really did love Leon, and her surprise and joy at seeing Cloud had…well, clouded her judgment. After the scene at the library, she finally seemed to lose her confidence, and now she seemed just as confused as everyone else.

It's possible that she still loves me, but I need to accept it and move on if she doesn't. Cloud may have ruined everything, but there's nothing I can do about it if he did.

Almost surprised at how accepting and resigned his mind was, Leon allowed himself one more glorious moment under the water before shutting it off and groping blindly for the towel that hung outside of the shower. Yuffie was right; Leon did feel much better and refreshed after taking the shower.

Yuffie was always right…

"But I don't want to think about that now," he whispered to himself before drying his face and feeling the soft fabric soak up the droplets. He still needed to figure out what to do about Aerith. As that thought crossed his mind, a quiet, timid knock suddenly sounded at the door.

"Leon? …Leon, can I come in?"

It seems like I'll have to figure out what to do about her much sooner than I expected…"Erm…in a minute, Aerith, let me get dressed."

Pulling on some clean clothes that Yuffie had carefully and painstakingly washed for him, working hard to get the bloodstains off of, Leon steeled himself, ready for either torment or joy, and opened the door. There Aerith stood, her cheeks tearstained and her eyes red, a tortured grimace on her face. Leon suddenly, strangely, felt sorry for all that she had gone through in the past few days. She was the one who couldn't win, no matter what she said; she had to choose whose heart she was going to break. Walking a few steps into the door, she suddenly flung her arms around him, giving him a tight and real hug for the first time. Shocked at her forwardness, Leon slowly, awkwardly, put his arms around her sobbing form and hugged her close.

It seemed, at this point, anything was possible. Forcing himself not to get his hopes up, Leon grit his teeth and hugged her tighter. Maybe…?

Finally, with a cry, she pulled back, and before Leon had a chance to say a word, she withdrew an item from her pocket and pressed it into his hand. Slowly opening his fingers, almost afraid to look at what it was, Leon stared, and suddenly he understood.

It was his pendant that he had given her so long ago.

"I only want you to wear it if you love me…"

"I'm so sorry, Leon…"

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: Well, I did it. I actually kept my promise. I hope you like this chapter, I hope it isn't too out of character for Leon, and I hope you're ok with the fact that Aerith chose Cloud instead of Leon. The way I had written earlier chapters just didn't allow it any other way, even though I personally like the Leon and Aerith pairing. I know how it's going to end, and I think I'll have two more chapters to this story. Hopefully, they'll be done very soon. Again, I'm really trying to get this story finished. The next chapter is finished and will be up tomorrow. Bear with me, please. PP