My descriptions have gone out of control! WHOOT! More craziness and zaniness and utter brainlessness in store!
Well, once they got over the shock, they all locked hands and bent their heads together to discuss their worries. There was no time, in this critical state, to uphold old feuds and enemities.
Some people weren't liking that at all…
"I am NOT touching the stupid rat! Hollered a pissed-off Kyo pushing his hands as deeply into his pockets as they could go.
"Kyonkichi, don't be so immature. On the other hand, if you don't want to take Yun's hand, why don't you hold mine…?" Shigure reached out an excited hand which made Kyo cringe in fear.
"No, Gure-nii, that's not the way to tackle him…" Whispered a conspiratory Ayame to his bestest pal and nighttime chummy. "Now if we had some rope and a large leather recliner, then…"
"And whips! We simply NEED whips!" Added a gleeful Shigure with twinkling eyes.
"HELP!" Yelped Kyo jumping on the curtains and hanging on for his dear life.
"You can hold my hand, Kyo-kun" Offered Tohru with a large, harmless smile.
"And I'm gonna hold your other hand, eh love?" Stated Kagura with a strange gleam in her eyes. "Now get down from those curtains, kitty!" She continued, pulling at the waistband of his jeans and revealing half of his but-crack. The humiliated cat immediately let go off the curtains to push Kagura's wandering hands away, resulting in a very unpleasant fall on top of her.
Now everyone was thinking about what a wonderful couple those two made, except for maybe Tohru who was wearing an utterly shocked expression on her lovely face, and Shigure, who was at the time thinking of making Kyo 'his own'.
But the critical state remained in everyone's mind, and soon the Juunishi and their female guest had assembled in a rough circle, with each person positioned along the wall as far away from the others as was possible in the steadily shrinking room (at least, to their crazed and confused minds).
"Herefore I declare myself main and chief leader of this sacred group for the protection of our peace and sanity in the measures of the possible" announced Shigure throwing a pointed glance at Kyo.
"Whatever, dog-breath" mumbled Kyo, looking away and reddening considerably.
"Kyo is a troublemaker" Momiji piped in, grinning at Kyo.
At the news, some of the most innocent Juunishi 'ooohed' and 'aaahed', whilst Shigure merely smirked.
"Kyo is my very own and personal troublemaker, aren't you, Kiki?"
Everybody sat and thought about it for a minute, trying to figure out in what exact sense Kyo could be Shigure's troublemaker. Some, such as, for example, Ritsu, thought that Kyo broke walls a lot. Others, in this case Ayame, considered the deeper meanings of the word 'trouble'. Most just thought Shigure was acting delirious, as per usual.
Finally though, the minute of silence ended, everyone coming out of their reflexive stupor with clearer minds much more apt for calm deliberation.
The circle reformed, the most reluctant wearing oven mittens to avoid any unnecessary contact with those lesser loved and appreciated.
After everyone had settled conveniently in the various seats-- some pillows, a few wooden chairs, a throne, a sofa and a very comfortable-looking leather recliner -- having appeared out of some parallel dimension at the wishes of the 'sitter', a composed chatter erupted from an unidentified mouth and rekindle the flame of small-talk, lost until then in the bellows of quarrelsome talk.
All of a sudden, a voice overpowered the rest, reviving the gist of 'dominative talk' lost to us all for a good two minutes (the time small talk had consumed the Juunishi's lives).
And quite a forlorn thing it was that this voice turned out to be…Hiro's! Maybe not so forlorn after all, knowing Hiro for the bossy know-it-all who he really was in his intimacy and sometimes out of it as well.
"Juunishi!" he yelled, the cry followed by some miffed remarks by a few people who had not forgotten that there was in fact an un-cursed girl in the audience—well, trust Hiro to omit that fact.
"What do I care about that whiney-loony muttered Hiro before resuming his so far unwelcome speech. "As you can see, we are in a very unpleasant situation, as –that stupid sob- Tohru has shown us--" 'HA!' some people couldn't help exclaiming, 'can't avoid noticing her now' whilst others, indignant, called on justice to explain the use of unflattering words towards Tohru's person.
"…as I was saying, pretty (which came out in a rather spiteful hiss, but which managed to satisfy most of the previously indignant listeners—although not all, judging by Kyo's red face and clenched fists) Tohru sowed us by her quite unconvincing vanishing act and truly unwanted return—"
An angry murmur filled the hall, and all, as one, lifted their fists, chanting away with their eyes ablaze with rage: 'TOHRU! TOHRU! OUR! GODDESS! HIRO! STINKS!'
Blushing, Hiro closed his mouth and lowered his head.
"Ok, ok, I haven't said anything!" he whined before going to sulk in a corner.
"Happy we sorted that out" The others all said together, before coming out of their alien-controlled state.
"We need to elect a new leader" said an obviously confused person whom we prefer to keep unidentified for now. Many opposed that idea, for both past leaders had turned out to be very, very un-leaderish people. And anyway, the audience had had enough of leaders right then and there.
Sadly though, after the rejection of that proposition, there wasn't much time left for new ideas, because suddenly…Kyo disappeared.
Kyo was walking through a corridor when he suddenly saw his mother standing there and kissing his Ren Sohma passionately.
'We need to keep our lesbian relationship secret' she whispered whilst stroking Ren's hair.
'Wait a sec, I need to apply more lipstick' answered a clearly distracted Ren, looking at herself in a mirror she was holding in her hand. 'Yes dear, what are you saying?' she asked Kyo's mother, still not looking at the now desperate lady.
'O-our…rel-lationship' stuttered Kyo's mother, looking at Ren with a wild expression in her eyes.
'What are you talking about, hun? I'm going after Hatori now. Didn't you see the look he gave me at the new-year party? SEXXXY!'
That's when Kyo's mom committed suicide right before Kyo's eyes, while Ren, oblivious, clipped her toenails and daydreamed about our favorite seahorse…
Kyo emerged out of the disturbing…story with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Hmm…I never thought Ren actually clipped her toenails…" he said, scratching his head. "The surprises you get while being a Juunishi. WHAT?" He asked, looking at his companions for the first time.
"Where have you been?" They all screeched, while Ayame was covering his face with a pillow and moaning "The twisted writer strikes again…!"
And terror filled their hearts, for there was no escaping it anymore!
In the hands of a twisted writer, anything was possible…
ANYTHING!