okay...I am posting two chapters intwo days but they may slow down after that. I will do my best to post one at least every other day but only if you do your best in leaving me reviews! Yea, I'm a review junky! So if you wanna hear more you betta let me know! Anyways...on with the story. It picks up directly after the first chapter ends. Olivia and Elliot are in the car on their way back to the morgue for the autopsy of Andrea Stinson...oh and by the way, they are not mine...Here we go...
Both detectives sat in silence for the majority of the ride back to the morgue. Elliot was trying to figure out what was running through his partner's head while Olivia was just staring blankly out the window. Finally Olivia spoke, "Well, I guess know we know what the rapist meant by bastard child."
Elliot nodded, "Yea but I am still a little confused by what her mother said about her daughter suffering. I would think that if anyone suffered it would have been the mother herself," he said carefully.
Olivia looked at him as if he were a child asking a stupid question to his impatien mother, "Elliot, she grew up not knowing anything about her father. His race, religion, ethnic background, they are all a mystery. She had no idea what kind of person was inside of her. Every day when she walked down the street and seen all kinds of different men, she would wonder if any of them could be him."
Elliot looked at her, "Is that how you feel too?" he questioned.
"El, this isn't about me," she said while looking out the window. Elliot let out a sigh. It was no use. He could not get her to open up to him. He knew she hated being pitied and feeling vulnerable but that is not how he seen her. He thought of Olivia Benson as a very strong woman. She had overcame so many obstacles in her life. She was a child of rape and, like Andrea, her father had never been caught. Her mother had been an alcoholic and most of Olivia's childhood years were spent taking care of herself and her mother. Then, a few years ago, her mother had died. Elliot had tried to be there for her, and he was as much as she would let him. Olivia had always had a hard time opening up. She did not like to talk about her past but if she ever needed to Elliot is who she went to. He knew her better than anyone else. He may be the only person she halfway trusted. As partners, they had grown very close over the years and even closer since Elliot and Kathy seperated. Captain Cragen looked at them as his two best detectives. In the interrogation room they were amazing. They always knew what one another was going to do or say and they always had each others back. However, when they did not agree on something you could bet that everyone in the precinct would know about it because they would tell each other exactly what they thought. They did not fight very often but when they did, everyone heard it. Somehow though, they usually ended up on the same page. That is what Cragen loved about them. Even when they fought they made progress.
Finally Olivia and Elliot were about to pull into the parking lot. Elliot looked across at Olivia who was still staring out the window. He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, "Liv, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."
He expected her to snap at him but instead she looked at him with glossy eyes and slightly nodded. That said more to Elliot than words ever could. "Let's get this over with. It's been a long day and I'm starving," she said as she opened the car door. Elliot just nodded and followed her.
The autopsy only found a little new evidence. "The victim was held in restraints for around four to five days. She was repeatedly raped and cut. Her stomach contents were empty which meant the perp had more than likely not fed her since he grabbed her. There were traces of spermicide but no fluids. This guy did not leave a trace of evidence on the body and given that he held her for almost a week, that is almost impossible. I'd say your dealing with an extremely smart perp," Warner said. "There were also bruises on her inner and outer thighs that look like knee marks, bruises on her upper arms that look like they were caused by the heel of his hand, and a lot of vaginal trauma. He had her pinned so tightly to the ground that she couldn't move an inch. That explains why there is no evidence under her nails. Probably after the second or third time she just stopped fighting."
Olivia shook her head in disgust. "He hated her," she said to no one in particular.
"Sorry detectives but that is all I can give you," Warner said.
"What about the knife? Any idea what kind?" Elliot asked.
"I would say it looks like a hunting knife. It pierced the skin cleanly. After the hell that this girl went through, at least she died instanty," Warner said.
"Thanks, call if you get anything else," Elliot said as he led Olivia out of the morgue and back towards the sedan.
"Munch, you get anything off that MO?" Elliot asked as they entered the precinct.
"No, nothing matches. We've got girls stabbed and something like 'whore' or 'bitch' written on them but never right through the heart and never the word bastard," Munch answered.
It was now nearing 6 pm and all of the detectives were exhausted from doing paperwork and trying to find some sort of starting point, but they found nothing. Cragen finally came out of his office, "Go home, get some rest, and we will start fresh in the morning."
Munch and Fin immediately packed up and headed for the door. Elliot read teh rest of the file he was on and then began to put everything away. Olivia however, never looked up. She looked to be very deep in thought and not near ready to quit working. "Liv, you find something?" Elliot asked.
"No, but I feel like I'm missing something," she replied.
"Come on, lets go get something to eat. Whatever your missing will still be there in the morning," he told her.
Olivia closed the file and put on her coat. She picked up the files on her desk, "I think I may look over these again after I eat."
Elliot picked up the files on his desk. He knew Olivia wouldn't sleep until they had a hold on this guy. "Let's just make a night of it. My place or yours?" he asked.
She smiled back at him and replied, "Mine's closer." He nodded, "Yours it is."
They arrived at Olivia's apartment a little while later with several different boxes of chinese food and an arm full of files. Elliot grabbed two plates and some forks from Olivia's kitchen and Olivia set the files on the coffee table in the living room. She then went into the kitchen and grabbed two beer from the refrigerator. "Let's eat," she said as she sat down at the bar.
They ate and talked about things unrelated to work like Elliot's kids and Olivia's nonexistant dating life. They laughed and joked until they were finished and then things turned serious. Elliot grabed two more beer and then they both went and sit on the couch to look over the files. "Okay, I think we can both agree that being a child of rape had something to do with this," Elliot said.
"Without a doubt," Olivia nodded a little uncomfortablly.
"So, you tell me how many people know that you are a product of rape," Elliot said carefully. He knew this was a touchy subject even though Olivia tried to act like it wasn't.
Olivia tilted her head sideways and looked at him, "Not many. Only the people that I am close with and trust." Elliot looked at her with furrowed eye brows. "What?" she asked.
"Liv, you don't trust anyone," he told her.
She cut her eyes at him, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.
Elliot wondered why he said that without thinking, "Well, you do to a certain extent but deep down, the only person you trust is you."
Deep down she knew he was right. On the outside she was strong and independent but in reality, she was just to scared to let anyone get too close. She was afraid of what could be inside her and she wanted to hide that person from everyone, including herself. But it hurt her to think that Elliot thought she didn't trust him. She did trust him, with her life. Just not with her heart. "Elliot, what makes you think that I don't trust you?" she questioned.
Elliot sighed, "Liv, let's just drop it. We have to try and figure this out because I don't know about you, but I'm dead." He looked back down at the file and pretended to read.
After a few seconds Olivia decided he was right, "Alright, so it has to be someone that knew her. Your right, there is no way she walked around telling people who her father was. We need to talk to her friends. Let's hit the daycare first thing in the morning."
"Okay," Elliot agreed, "do you want to look over these files somemore?"
"Maybe for a little while," she said, "but you can go home and get some rest if you want." She knew he was exhausted but she also knew she could never sleep until she knew everything in those files by heart just to be sure she wasn't missing anything.
"No, I'm fine," he told her. He knew how she was. She wouldn't stop until someone made her. About an hour and a half later Elliot looked up to find Olivia staring out the window. "Liv, you okay?"
Olivia jumped at the sound of his voice. "Yea, I'm fine," she responded looking back down at the file.
"No, your not. And you would feel a lot betther if you would talk about it. I know when something is bothering you Liv, I can tell," Elliot pried at her knowing she was about to bite his head off.
"Elliot, nothing is bothering me," she snapped, "what is it that you want me to talk about?" She never made eye contact with him knowing if she did, he would see the real her, the scared little girl hiding deep inside begging to be let out and needing to feel someone's touch so bad it ached.
Elliot grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "I know what your thinking Liv. Your thinking about your mom and your thinking about how you and Andrea Stinson are alike in so many ways."
She jerked her face away from his hands and shielded her teary eyes from his sight, "Elliot, I don't want to talk about this..."
"But you need to," he interrupted, "you are like Andrea in one big way. You won't let anyone get close. You can't stay in a relationship long enough for anything good to happen because your scared of getting close." Olivia stood up angrily and stormed around the couch but Elliot had seen it coming. He stepped in front of her blocking her way out of the living room. He could see her eyes glossing over but he knew she would refuse to cry. He continued, "You put up a wall around you and you won't let anyone in. You never talk about your problems and I...Liv are you scared of me? Are you afraid I'm going to get to close?" he said the last two sentences in a whisper.
Olivia pushed him backwards, "You already are! I'm not scared of you Elliot. I'm..." she closed her eyes to hold back her tears that were threatening to fall. Elliot grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back up against the wall gently, "Your what?" he pleaded. She looked back up at him with tears in her eyes, "I'm afraid of me," she whispered closing her eyes to him again.
"Why?" he asked quietly. She was so close to opening up. He hated seeing her cry but he knew it would help her to let it out. "Because I don't know what I'm capable of," tears finally streamed down her face. "I don't know what is inside of me, I dont know who I really am..." Suddenly Elliot covered her mouth with his. She resisted at first but he had her pushed up against the wall where she couldn't get away. Then she gave in. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. In between kissed he would whisper in her ear..."You are Olivia Benson...you are my partner...you are my best friend...you are a wonderful person." With each comment she let go a little more. They both felt a fire that had been burning for years and was now out of control. Their minds screamed that this was a mistake but their hearts were much louder. Elliot never meant to start this but he could never take it back.
"Elliot...this is wrong," Olivia said in between breaths. "I know," he said in a deep raspy voice.
"Do you care?" she asked as he kissed her neck and lifted her so that she was stradling him. "I care...about you," he said in a hungry voice. He wrapped his arms around her and she moaned her acceptance. "I want you...now," he said as he pushed her hard against the wall. "Elliot, the bedroom...go," she said between kisses. That was all he needed to hear. He wrapped his arms tighter and carried her to the bed.
After several hours they both slept ehausted in each others arms. Elliot was on his back and Olivia was laying on his chest with an arm draped across his body. He held her hand possesively as if to make sure she did not try to run away from him. Tonight, Olivia slept more sound than she had in years.