Chapter Four

Before heading toward AC, Natalie convinced John to stop off at the hotel so she could ask Roxy about the dress. At first John was hesitant, not wanting anyone to know about Natalie being in the alley that night, but he relented once she assured him she would just ask about the dress. Wanting to be able to see Roxy's reaction for himself, John followed her inside.

"Natty!" Roxy said loudly from her place behind the counter. "Did you…" Roxy trailed off, when she noticed John walk in behind her. Roxy's face lit up and her mouth formed a large smile. "Well, well, well… are you two here for a little lunch time Rhonda voo? 'Cause let me tell ya, right nows the time, cause hardly anyone's here so you can make all the noise you want," Roxy grinned at John. "And let me tell you, if my baby girls anything like her momma here, she's gonna be making all the noise in the world, then again, you already know that!"

"Roxanne!" Natalie exclaimed, her face flushing in embarrassment.

John bit back his amusement. After three years in Llanview, he was pretty used to Roxy's tactless manner. "Actually Roxy, we are hoping you could help us with something." He said, hoping to save Natalie any further embarrassment.

"Ohh," Roxy said, leaning across the desk. "Sounds important, does this mean I am like an infomat, cause on Law and Order and CSI those guys usually get wacked."

Rolling her eyes, Natalie took over. "Your not going to be killed." Taking out the class photo from her purse, Natalie handed it to her. "Do you remember what happened to this dress Roxy?"

Roxy's face lit up when she saw the picture. "I remember that dress; you were the prettiest little thing in it, all the sequins and color. Whenever I took you out in it, people used to always stare." Once again, Roxy turned back to John. "Isn't she adorable in it?" she asked waving the picture in front of him.

Not waiting for John to answer Natalie moved in front of her. "Roxy focus. What happened to the dress?"

Roxy closed her eyes and got one of those rare looks of deep concentration, but it only lasted for a few seconds. Opening her eyes, she shook her head. "No clue. I guess you grew out of it. Why all these sentimental-ness feelings baby? Were you thinking of giving it to Jessica if she has a girl?"

Knowing it was useless to ask for anything else, Natalie shook her head. "Forget it Roxy. Thanks anyways."

The two of them quickly made a beeline for the exit, trying hard to ignore the comments she continued to make. Once they were back in the car, Natalie turned to John. "Do you think we should ask her about that night?"

"Not right now. Obviously she doesn't know you were in that alley, because if she did I imagine she would have raised a big thing about it – called newspapers and talk shows, reporting her five year old witnessed a murder. The one thing I have learned about Roxy is she likes to be the center of attention."

"You don't think she was there that night do you?" Natalie asked worriedly as they pulled out of the parking lot. Despite all their problems, Roxy was still like a mother to her and Natalie didn't want her caught up in this mess.

Luckily, John shook his head. "I don't think so, eventually I will have to talk to her, but I don't think she's involved. Let's hit AC, talk to my mom and see where that takes us. If we still have nothing, we're going to have to go after our only lead – you." Up until this point, John hadn't wanted to push Natalie into remembering, as he knew it could be a traumatic process and part of him was worried since DID ran in her family.

"What if it comes to that? I mean, me having to remember?"

"I'm hoping we can avoid that."

"And if we can't?" John just remained silent, continuing to drive. They remained like this for a few minutes, until it all clicked into place.

"You're worried about my mental state." Natalie suddenly exclaimed, her voice now having and edge to it.

"Natalie…"

"No, let's address this issue once and for all. Yes, both my mother and sister have DID, and yes, mental illness can run in the family. But if this event had been traumatic enough that it caused my personality to split, my alter would have surfaced by now. Mitch, Paul, Haver, Hayes – these events would have brought out this other personality. But, it never did. I obviously handled the trauma back then, just as I have handled all the others – by remaining in control and strong. If we end up with no other leads and going to the alley doesn't bring anything back I'll consult with Dr. Crosby – undergo hypnosis or something. But we aren't just leaving it at that, I am the only eye witness and will do whatever I can."

Touched that she was this adamant about helping him, John couldn't help but smile. After all that he had done, after all that he had put her through and after all the times he had pushed her away, she was still here, sitting beside him, ready to help in any way she could. For the first time in months, John had hope for them. But just as fast as it came, he pushed it away. He knew he needed to deal with this first, and finally get some closure or else he knew he would never be any good to anyone, including himself.

As a result of heavy Friday-night traffic, they arrived in AC just as the sun was setting. The ride over had been mainly silent, both of them unsure of what topics were safe enough to brooch. Of course anything pertaining to Statesville Riot, or Cristian was off-limits, and after asking about Jessica and Vicki, John soon found that Natalie's family was another topic she wanted to avoid.

Luckily, they soon pulled into a small two story house, nestled in the middle of a comfortable looking subdivision. Natalie sighed wistfully as they made their way up the driveway to the door. "You know, growing up this area was what I dreamed about. To a girl from the other side of AC, this wasn't just a middle class subdivision, this was the good side of town, where the rich drove their fancy cars and happy families lived. Never in a million years would I have imagined finding out I was a Buchanan."

John didn't respond, as once again this was a small glimpse into a past that Natalie hardly spoke about. Raising his hand, he pushed the doorbell insistently, part of him hoping that his mother wasn't home so he had an excuse to put this conversation off. But, he was out of luck. It took a few minutes, but soon Eve appeared in the doorway, her expression turning from one of annoyance to one of surprise when she saw them standing there.

"Johnny! Natalie! What a pleasant surprise. Please come in!" Eve said warmly as she ushered them inside the small home. "I had no idea you two were going to be in the area, you should have called me. Have you eaten? I can make something or we could order in, whatever you guys prefer."

Smiling at the other woman's mothering nature, and remembering how much she had enjoyed having her live at the cottage Natalie pulled her in for a quick hug. "It's great to see you again Eve, Llanview hasn't been the same since you left."

Eve smiled. "I'll bet. Come in, take a seat." As she led them into the living room, Natalie took the opportunity to look around. Pictures of John, Michael and even Shannon surrounded them. You could tell that despite the death of Thomas McBain this was a home filled with love.

Once they were seated Eve began to chatter away, filling them in on what she had been up too. When she finally took a break and asked what had brought them to AC, Natalie waited for John to speak. But, when he didn't, she jumped in. "Actually Eve, I just got accepted into a program to train to be a forensic technician." Natalie said with a smile.

Eve's face lit up as if the young woman sitting in front of her was her own child. "Oh Natalie, that's wonderful news." Leaning across the sofa, Eve pulled Natalie into a hug. "Honey, I remember the way your uncle spoke about you, you'll be great at any job you undertake."

Natalie smiled. "Thanks Eve, actually, John's agreed to be the officer that supervises me through it all." Natalie said, hoping that this change in conversation allowed John to tell her about re-opening his father's case. But, instead, John excused himself to take a phone call.

Once the women were alone, Eve turned toward Natalie and fixed her with a comforting smile. "Michael filled me in on everything that happened with Statesville and your husband. I can not believe Johnny kept that from you. Are you doing okay?"

A little uncomfortable that she was being asked this by John's mother of all people, Natalie began to unconsciously play with a piece of fabric. "It's ex-husband now… and I'm doing better."

"Isn't working with John going to be hard on you?" Eve asked gently, not meaning to pry but curious as to what Natalie's feelings were for her son.

Natalie went silent for a few seconds, as she actually thought about it. Finally she met the older women's eyes. "No." She said, very much sure of herself. "To be honest Eve, though John and I never really talked about it, I think I understand why John kept it from me. I don't agree with it, but I have forgiven him."

"What about you and John? Is there hope there?" As much as she tried not too get involved, Eve found herself really hoping that they would be able to find there way back together.

Natalie shrugged and once again looked away. "I honestly don't know. We have been through so much Eve, and a lot of damage has been done to our overall relationship. I don't know if it can ever be repaired. Too much has been said, too much has been done."

"Do you still love him?" The question came blurting out before Eve could even stop herself.