A/N So, I used to write a lot in this fandom until I doxxed myself and had to create a new account (this one). Ahhh. So, that's a whole situation. If you know any of my old stories, this story takes place in a completely different universe. Basically this fic explores the Mike-Duncan-Zoey love triangle. TW just in general (but no gore!). I'm not saying anything else but there will be two POVs (first chapter just has one). And for anyone who doesn't know, I always write Duncan as an artist, I just like it. Enjoy!

Chapter One:

If anybody asked Duncan why he agreed to the last season of Total Drama, he would answer honestly. It was for the money. Purely a business deal.

All-Stars? Is that what they're calling it? Dumb. I don't want to be a "Total Drama All-Star," that's just embarrassing. Who wants to be associated with this shit?

But still, the money was too good to turn down. Apparently, he brought high ratings. So, Chris was willing to pay him a little extra. Not that he was allowed to tell the other contestants that. But he wouldn't be surprised if some of the other "dramatic" campers (Heather came to mind) were also getting kickbacks.

Not that he minded. Money was money. His plan was to be in and out as fast as possible, leave in whatever episode they scripted for him, take the cash, and move the moment production ended. He couldn't stay in Nova Scotia any longer, and his older brother was willing to let him crash at his place while he looked for somewhere to live.

At least Total Drama gave him a social media following, which he badly needed to get his art career off the ground. So he wasn't as miserable as some of his co-stars.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this again," Gwen whined to his left. They were currently in an airplane with the rest of the cast, waiting to make their entrances for the season.

"I don't know why you did either," he shrugged. "You always hated it." He was taking the opportunity to touch up his eyeliner using his reflection in the window.

"I mean… Yeah. But the money? I don't hate that."

"True."

"I'm just praying they drop the love triangle plot…" Gwen sighed. "I can't do another season of that."

"Oh my God, same!" Courtney spoke up from across the aisle. "It's the worst. Nobody likes it."

"They have to end it," Gwen pleaded. "Like, there's nowhere else to take it. Did you know someone made a blog calling me a bitch for breaking up Duncney?"

"Oh God, please don't say 'Duncney' out loud," Duncan winced. "I cringe every time."

"I'm actually more of a Gwuncan fan," Heather spoke up from next to Courtney.

"Good," Courtney nodded. "Leave me out of it."

"Nah, Aleheather for life," Duncan cheered.

"Stop it!" Heather blushed. "He's not even here."

"But you do like him, like, for realsies," Lindsay poked her head through the gap between Courtney and Heather's seats.

"Lindsay, literally shut the fuck up," Heather demanded. "I don't."

"Guys! This is gonna be the Gwourtney season, ok?" Sierra insisted from her spot next to Lindsay. "Come on, now."

"Ugh, I wish," Gwen leaned back in her seat.

"Thanks, babe," Courtney winked.

"You know what? I'm gonna say it," Duncan spoke. "I kinda miss Trent."

"Actually, same," Gwen agreed. "What ever happened to him?"

"Straight up, I have no idea."

"Oh! They wrote him off because audiences said he was too boring. Also, he got in the way of the love triangle," Sierra explained, because of course she knew.

"The love triangle claims another victim!" Courtney mock-gasped.

"I thought he seemed like a nice guy," a voice spoke up.

The six contestants stared at each other. None of them had spoken.

"Um, over here," the voice repeated.

They turned to see that the voice had come from the other side of the plane, where the contestants from last season were sitting. The originals hadn't attempted to speak to the others. Why bother? They probably wouldn't talk after filming was over, and they were only together for one season.

"Um, who are you?" Courtney asked.

"Cameron," the timid voice responded.

"Oh."

"Do you not remember our names?" Some guy in a wifebeater asked.

"How would we know your names…?" Gwen stared at him.

"Oh, I think they're asking if we watched last season?" Courtney explained to the original contestants.

"Ew. No way," Gwen shook her head. "Did you guys?"

"Absolutely not," Heather had a disgusted look on her face.

"Nope," Duncan agreed.

"I didn't even know there was another season," Lindsay giggled.

"I watched it!" Sierra smiled. "It was fine, I guess. Still live-blogged it, though. You're Scott!"

Scott looked decently annoyed at the originals.

"Yep, that's right."

"Ok, but who are the other ones?" Lindsay whispered to Sierra.

"Um, we can introduce ourselves," Cameron had a bashful look on his face. "Right, so I'm Cameron. Um. I was one of the finalists last season."

Nobody looked impressed, much to his dismay.

"Wait!" Duncan perked up. "What ever happened to Beth? I feel like we haven't seen her in a while."

"She had the right idea," Gwen sighed. "Took the money and ran."

"I'm sha-Lightning! The true winner of last season!" Another guy in a sports jersey beamed.

Cameron immediately tried to defend himself.

"Well, that's actually not true, because the winners are voted on in each country, so-"

"Shut it!" Lightning shushed him. "As I was saying, the true sha-winner. I won over hearts and minds!"

"We're already sick of your yapping," the girl next to him groaned. "I'm Jo."

Short and simple. No bullshit. I already like her.

"Well? Someone else go," she demanded.

"I'm Sam," another one of them mumbled.

"I'm Mike," the guy next to him smiled shyly.

"Oh! I guess I'm last. I'm Zoey," the girl on the other side beamed. "It's so cool to meet you all! I actually used to watch this show when I was younger."

"Why?" Heather cocked her head, and a few of the original contestants, Duncan included, chuckled at that.

Zoey, for her part, seemed completely taken aback.

"Um, I don't know, I just liked it," she spoke apologetically.

"Listen," Heather stared at her. "Just so you know, none of us want to be here. This show has been hell from the beginning. I don't know if you all had a great time filming your season or something, but for the rest of us? It sucked."

"I'm sorry- I didn't know-"

"It's fine," Heather sighed. "How could you? But just keep that in mind."

Jeez, she's being pretty harsh…But I guess she's right.

"Actually, I had a pretty good time!" Sierra cheered.

"Shut up, Sierra!" Heather hissed. "Don't undermine my point."

"I'm sure Alejandro had a good time," Lindsay smiled.

"Lindsay, what the fuck!" Heather shrieked. "What did we just talk about?"

"Alright!" A voice, one of Chris' interns, came over the loudspeaker. "We're landing soon, get ready to jump!"

"Jump?" Cameron whispered in fear.

"Oh, fuck me," Courtney rolled her eyes. "I'm not surprised."

"Alright, Cameron, you're up first! Open the door and jump!" The loudspeaker announced.

"What?" The teen squeaked.

"Dude, just fuckin' do it…" Duncan sighed.

"Easy for you to say-"

"Cameron!" The loudspeaker crackled. "Let's go!"

"Fine," he whimpered as he stood up and took a few steps towards the door.

"Oh my God, I'll do it," Lightning sprung up from his seat, shoved the door of the plane open, and tossed Cameron into the water below.

Zoeys eyes widened at the sight of Cameron hitting the water. She seemed unsettled by the whole thing, while the rest of the cast was unfazed.

One by one, everybody jumped out of the plane and into the lake. Duncan couldn't hear what Chris announced when he jumped, but he could imagine it was something like:

Bad boy, Duncan! Heartbreaker, Duncan! Ex-convict, Duncan! Or some bullshit like that.

He swam to the beach as fast as possible. The water in Ontario was always cold, even in the summer. Since he was one of the last jumpers, as they sent all of the original campers last, most of the others were already gathered around Chris, and the small robot sitting next to him, by the time he reached the shore.

"God, that water never gets any less disgusting," Courtney shivered.

"I know, right?" Chris grinned. "It's great."

"Shut up, Chris," she scowled. "Are we resolving the love triangle?"

"I'm not telling," he grinned. "Ah, hang on, I gotta say some stuff. Okay, everyone!" He announced once the last camper stepped onto the beach. "Welcome to Total. Drama. All-stars! For this season, you'll be divided into two teams. Heroes vs. Villains!"

Let's see. I'll be on… Good.

He sighed with relief as he mentally figured where each contestant would go.

"Now, on the Heroic Hamsters, we have: Cameron, Zoey, Mike, Sam, Sierra, Lindsay, and… Courtney! On the Villainous Vultures, we have: Heather, Duncan, Scott, Jo, Lightning, and… Gwen!"

For a moment, Duncan could swear he heard someone else breathe out that same sigh of relief as he just had. He quickly discarded the thought.

"Alright, Gwen, you gotta complain about being on the Villains team."

"Ok. What!? What do you mean I'm on the Villains!?"

"Don't you remember? You kissed my boyfriend!" Courtney sneered with expertise.

"Exactly!" Chris grinned. "Now, off to the Vultures!"

"Hey," Duncan whispered as the two of them walked to their designated side of the beach. "At least we're on the same team."

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"Any reason we have less members than the other team?" Heather raised an eyebrow.

"Great catch, Heather!" Chris beamed. "If you insist… you can take the robot." The machine wheeled itself over to the Villains.

"Oh, no, we don't want him."

"Alright, good stuff!" Chris smiled. "Now, the teams are even! So, we're going to the cliff for our first challenge! But before I begin, a reminder! There is a McLean-Brand Chris Head Immunity Statue located somewhere on this island! As you all know, the first person to find it will win immunity at their elimination! Now, let's go to the cliff for our first challenge!"

Duncan surveyed the rest of the Villains team. They didn't seem too bad. At least he could hang out with Gwen and Heather.

"So uh, why are you guys all villains again?" Gwen looked curiously at the rest of her teammates as they walked over to their challenge. Each team stayed in their own clump so they could become acquainted with the members of the other cast.

"You guys were all literally in last season," Jo crossed her arms. "You seriously don't remember?"

"Oh, right…" Duncan trailed off, purposely messing with her. "That's what that was for?"

"We just read our lines and left," Heather explained. "All of those cameos were super scripted."

"Fine," Jo eyes her with suspicion. "Well, I guess I was just generally too competitive. Which is dumb, because aren't we supposed to want to win? But anyways, they had me do a ton of stuff that made people not like me, or whatever, not that I give a shit."

"Honestly?" Scott spoke next. "I just eliminated a lot of people."

"You're also a jerk," Jo chimed in.

"What!? How am I a jerk?"

"She's sha-right!" Lightning added. "You're a snake."

"I was just following the script," Scott insisted in a high-pitched whine.

"Bullshit," Jo crossed her arms. "At least I was smart enough to see through it. Remember the 'Mike incident?' That was brutal. And unsportsmanlike."

"Like you were any better."

"Sorry, what's this incident?" Heather's eyes lit up. "Which one is Mike?"

"He's the one that's… you know…you'll see," Jo explained. "I don't even know. But Scott totally kicked him off the show. Not even scripted."

"Wait, what do you mean, 'we'll see?'" Duncan repeated.

"He's crazy, basically," Scott stated as a matter of fact. "No other way of putting it. Wait, Duncan, you were literally there when he was eliminated."

"Oh, what? Damn, I should've paid more attention."

"I don't know why I'm a villain," Lightning groaned out of nowhere.

"You? Dude, why am I a villain? That's what makes no sense," Gwen huffed.

"You know why," Heather insisted. "The love triangle. Duncan, too, but he would've been a villain anyways."

The robot beeped twice.

"See? Even the machine agrees with me."

"Hey, back at you," Duncan hissed. "Besides, I think they're gonna end it. We're all holding out hope."

"Wait, how does that work?" Jo asked. "The love triangle, I mean. Do you guys really not like each other?"

"No," Gwen responded immediately. "Gag. I can't believe we made out on camera," she shuddered.

"Basically," Duncan explained, "people online wanted it to happen. So, the producers threw it in the script. And it sucks. But you know most of this relationship shit on TV is fake anyways."

"Yeah, except for Mike and Zoey. Vomit," Jo made a face.

"Who's Zoey?" Duncan asked.

"The chick with dyed red hair," Jo explained. "I think she's annoying, but whatever."

"Who do you guys think is in the robot?" Gwen cut in, staring at the machine. "Not to interrupt, but like… is someone in there?"

It started rapidly beeping.

"Holy shit, no way…" she gasped.

"Gwen, we already know who it is," Duncan gave her a knowing look. "It's obviously Trent."

"You're right!" She smiled. "Trent, don't worry, we'll get you out of there."

The machine stopped beeping, clearly giving up on being understood.

Finally, both teams reached the top of the cliff, where Chris stood with a megaphone.

"Alright, campers! Welcome to your first challenge! Today, you'll have to dive into shark-infested water and retrieve a key!"

"Sh-sharks!?" Scott gasped.

"Yup! One of these keys will open up the spa hotel, where the winning team will be staying tonight! Also, you need to appoint one team member as a driver. This person will push each jumper in a carriage from the cliff, to the hotel, and back again!" Chris put down his megaphone. "Alright, Heroes, have Lindsay do it, and, you know, do a shit job. Villains, I don't care who you choose." He put his megaphone back to his mouth. "And… begin!"

"Alright, Lindsay, you should drive!" Courtney demanded. "Since the rest of us need to be actually talented, so we can dive into the water and all."

"Sure!" Lindsay beamed. "I'll do it!"

"Ok, team, listen up!" Jo yelled. "I should be the one to drive the cart."

"No way, I'm doing it!" Lightning insisted.

"Yeah right, obviously it should be me," Scott added on.

Well, I don't wanna fuckin' do it…

"I'm a cart driving champion. Clearly, I should drive," Jo announced.

"Well… Fine. Can't argue with championship status," Lightning sighed, defeated.

"Sorry, shouldn't you be a diver? Since you're so athletic?" Gwen asked.

"Can it, boyfriend kisser," Jo sneered as she ran over to the cart.

"Don't call me a boyfriend kisser!" Gwen yelled after her.

"Alright, who wants to jump first? Because I'm not doing it," Heather looked cautiously into the water.

"Um, maybe I should go last," Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "Ya know, I don't do great with sharks, hehe."

"I'll go first!" Lightning sprung up. "I'm a great diver! Sha-Lightning!" He dove off the cliff without a moment of hesitation. He had no problem grabbing a key.

"Alright, Lightning, let's go!" Jo screamed at him. She shoved the carriage the second he jumped in, determined to make it to the Spa Hotel quickly.

"Chris, these two are maniacs," Heather murmured to their host, who was standing only a few feet away.

"I know, right? It's great. Also, Duncan! Kiss Gwen for good luck."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes! But Gwen, push him away!"

"Hell yeah!" Gwen looked ecstatic.

"The key didn't work," Jo announced upon her return. "Someone grabbed the wrong one."

"Whatever…" Lightning scoffed.

"Well," Duncan said, turning to Gwen. "Kiss for good luck?"

The moment he went in for one, she shoved him right off the cliff.

"What the fuck, Gwen!" He yelled on the way down.

"Have fun!"

He hit the cold water and scrambled for a key. He swam for the shore as quickly as possible.

"Let's go!" Jo yelled.

Ok, she has to shut the fuck up right now.

"Yeah, hey," Duncan spoke nonchalantly as he climbed into the carriage. She took off the moment he sat down.

"You know, you don't have to take this that seriously," Duncan murmured as Jo ducked under a branch in a very dramatic fashion.

"Do you want to lose?"

"Honestly? I don't give a shit."

Jo almost fell right over.

"What!?"

"Look, you know the whole thing is predetermined."

"Screw that. I'm playing to win," she kept running until they reached the Spa Hotel.

"Here," he handed her the key. "I get the feeling that you want to do it."

"You think correctly," she tried the key.

It didn't work.

"Alright, Duncan, pick the lock."

"What?"

"Do it."

"I can't. I don't know how."

"What!?" She glared at him. "You don't know how? Aren't you supposed to be the delinquent?"

"Doesn't mean I can pick a lock. Aren't you supposed to be the jock? Why don't you kick the door down?"

"That's unsportsmanlike. We're going back."

"Oh, I see."

She started pushing the cart back in the direction of the cliff.

Duncan figured he may as well sit quietly for a bit. Take the opportunity to rest.

"Alright, someone else jump," Jo announced upon their arrival.

"Oh, fine," Gwen decided. "I'll go."

Duncan could hear a commotion on the other team.

"Damnit, Lindsay, hurry up!" Courtney shrieked. "Alright, who's jumping next?"

"I'll do it!" Mike announced.

"Alright, I know you'll do great!" Zoey cheered him on in her screechy voice.

Focus on your own team…

He turned his attention back to Gwen as she jumped into the water.

"No way is she grabbing the right one…" Heather crossed her arms. "Come on, Gwen!"

"Do you think there are really sharks in there?" Scott whispered.

"Definitely," Heather responded with cheer.

"Oh God…"

"Scott, you should go next," Duncan smiled at him. Scott just flipped him off.

"Maybe the robot can have a turn?" Heather looked at the machine, which started to beep.

"Yikes, it didn't like that," Duncan squinted at it.

"You're right, Heather!" Lightning agreed. "Every member of the team needs to take a turn. Robot, you're next!"

It beeped even more frantically.

"That wasn't the right one either," Jo weezed as she came back with Gwen. "Someone...else…go."

"Tired, Jo?" Scott asked.

"Shut up, Sharkbait. Why don't you jump?"

"We already picked another person," he sneered at her. "We're sending the robot."

"What? Are you kidding?" Jo was pissed. "We at least need a chance!"

"Sha-bye!" Lightning kicked the robot into the water.

"Oh my God, no!" Chris screamed when he saw what was going on. "What the fuck! You killed him!" He ran to the edge of the water.

"Uh, what?" Lightning looked on.

"He was in there!" Chris wailed. "Oh God, the lawsuit!"

"Who was in there!?" Gwen was clearly starting to panic. The other members of the team looked on in fear.

"I'm baaack!" A familiar voice sang from the water.

"Oh thank God," Chris collapsed on the ground. "Oh thank you Jesus."

"Wait, you're kidding-" Heather looked over the side of the cliff to see Alejandro in the water, smiling and waving up at her. "Damnit!"

"Hi Heather!" He cheered. "I have a key, by the way!"

"Oh!" Jo ran towards him as he climbed out of the water. On his hands.

I guess that's impressive…

Alejandro flipped himself into the carriage, and Jo started running.

Of course, since he's perfect at everything, he had the right key.

"And the Vulture's win! You guys are spending the night in the Spa Hotel!" Chris announced. "I'll see the Heroes at our first elimination ceremony!"

"Great work, everyone!" Lightning smiled. "Especially you, Scott."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Congrats, guys!" Zoey cheered. The Villains, who would never applaud the victors if it wasn't their own team, looked at her in complete confusion.

Duncan was ready.

"Thanks, Zoey," he waved.

"Yeah, thanks," Gwen genuinely smiled at her.

The Villains wasted no time in reaching the Spa Hotel. Anything to change out of those soaking wet clothes.

"Ah, it's so nice to be out of that robot suit and back on Total Drama!" Alejandro announced as he walked into the kitchen (well, hand-walked) where the other cast members were sitting.

"God, this can't be real," Heather buried her head into her arms on the kitchen table.

"Ah, but it is, Heather!" Alejandro flashed a perfect smile. "And let's see who else is here… Duncan and Gwen! How exciting! Are you guys still together?"

"You know we were never together," Gwen stared him down.

"Still as touchy as ever! But I see we have some new faces," he scanned over the other team members. "Please, introduce yourselves!"

"You didn't watch the new season either?" Lightning looked devastated.

"I was stuck in that robot suit for a long time! I can't even feel my legs, see?"

"Drop the act, Alejandro," Heather glared. "Your legs are fine!"

"I find that comment to be very hurtful. How could you possibly know what I'm going through?"

"I'm Lightning," Lightning interrupted out of nowhere.

"I see."

"Scott," the redhead added.

"Jo."

"Well, you're all a very warm bunch!"

"Shut it, Ale-handwalker. We already know all of your tricks," Jo sneered, much to Heather's delight.

"My my, that's not very welcoming."

"Just watch your back. We're all onto you."

"God, I can't listen to this," Gwen stood up from her chair. "You're all acting like he's some sort of criminal mastermind. What's he gonna do?"

"I'm not gonna kiss anyone's boyfriend, that's for sure."

"Stop! How'd you even remember that?" She glared at him.

"I dunno, there are some things you just don't forget. Guess it's important."

"Alejandro, you fucking-"

"Alright!" Chris yelled through his megaphone outside. "Elimination time! Everybody, get down here!"

"We'll finish this later," she hissed.

Jeez, I guess that boyfriend-kisser stuff really does annoy her…

The Villains trailed out of the Spa Hotel and down towards the beach, where the Heroes were already gathered. The divide between the teams was obvious. Each kept to their own side of the stands.

"Here," Chris intercepted Gwen before she could sit down and gave her a bouquet of flowers. "Give these to Courtney."

"What's the twist?" Gwen narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing…"

Oh, there's gonna be a twist.

"Hey, Courtney! Here, I brought these for you!" Gwen approached her.

"Oh, thanks- shit, I'm allergic to these!"

"Godamnit Chris!" Gwen yelled at him. "Are you kidding me?"

"Sorry," Chris shrugged. "I had no idea. Anyways… Welcome to the first elimination ceremony of Total. Drama. All-stars! Tonight, the Heroes lost their challenge, which means one of them will be taking… the Flush of Shame! But first, I need a volunteer from the Villains!"

"I'll volunteer!" Lightning cheered.

"Wonderful! Lightning, you'll be spending the night on Boney Island, where you can encounter some of the radioactive creatures from last season!"

"Oh."

"Now, onto the elimination! Every safe camper will receive a marshmallow! The following campers are safe. Sam, Mike, Zoey, Sierra, and Cameron! Courtney and Lindsay, you're in the bottom two! Lindsay, you did a terrible job driving, and Courtney, you're the one who gave her the job!"

"Wait, what!?" Courtney yelled at him. "You're the one who told me to do that!"

"Sit down. Now, the following camper is safe… Courtney! You get to stay another day! Lindsay, you're going home!"

"Oh, thank God," the blonde smiled. "Bye everyone!"

Lucky…

"Bye!" Zoey waved at her. "Good luck with whatever you do!"

"Aw, thanks, Zoey!" Lindsay beamed.

Duncan watched the exchange completely uninterested.

Lindsay walked over to the Flush of Shame with her head held high.

"God, I envy her…" Gwen whispered to Duncan.

"I know, right?"

"See you all!" Lindsay gave a final wave before Chris flushed her to God-knows-where.

"Who will win the next challenge? And who will be sent home? Find out next week on Total. Drama. All-stars!... Alright, that's a wrap. No more cameras for tonight!" Chris gave his daily signal that the cameras wouldn't be filming the campers until the next morning.

"I'm going to bed," Gwen announced immediately. "See ya guys."

"Same," Courtney sighed. "Enjoy the Spa Hotel."

"Oh, right! Well… have fun in your cabin!"

"Yeah, whatever."

The Villains left pretty quickly, eager to spend the night in the Spa Hotel.

On this show… a good night's sleep is worth everything.

Unfortunately, he had to share a room with Alejandro and Scott, which wasn't so great.

"Just so you all know, I'm going right to bed," he announced the moment he entered the room. Scott had already passed out.

"Have a wonderful night's sleep, everyone!" Alejandro chirped.

Nobody answered him.

Alright. Day one. This is fine. If I just keep doing what I did today…Stay out of it. Yeah. That's the move. It has nothing to do with you anymore. Stop thinking about it.

He didn't struggle too hard to fall asleep. All in all, not too shabby.