Sexy no Jutsu Gone Wrong

DG32173

Sarah: (grinning like an escapee from a mental prison) hoo-boy! This is gonna be one hell of a chapter! I hope you all enjoy! Especially the other ladies out there. And any gay guys as well. I ain't got zip-squat against gays, bi's, or lesbians, as you can see from my multiple homo-pairing stories. See-ya! (is dragged away by peoples in white coats to go to the "Happy Place") NOOOOOOOOOOO! "HAPPY" PLACE IS NOT HAPPY! LEAVE ME ALONE! ME NO WANT TO GO TO "HAPPY" PLACE!

Sakura: (laughing softly, partly at the screaming girl and partly at the story) she doesn't own the Naruto anime or anything relating to it! (busts out into school-girl giggles) this is gonna be such fun thing to see and read!

SHORT CATCH-UP

Naruto gets trapped as a redheaded girl and gets invited to stay at Sasuke's! WOOT! GOOD JOB NARUTO!

REVIEW RESPONSES

Sarah: (checks reviews and just about has a heart attack) seven fucking reviews in one day! I'M POPULAR! I'M SO POPULAR! Or is it just the title and summary that drew you all in? Meh, either way I'M POPULAR! And yes, I cussed. This is a T rated fic, you know! T as in teens! Well, here are the responses!

How did the sexy no jutsu backfire? Well, Naruto changed the shape and coloration of his original sexy no jutsu … and that basically screwed up his chakra into wondering what the fuck it belongs to so it trapped him as a redheaded chick (Does chakra wonder about such things? Ah, well. It does in this!)

How did Naruto buy the dress? (mischievous and horny grin) Wouldn't you like to know? That will come out later in the fic.

What is Sasuke reaction to 'Nara' being Naruto? OH GOD! That will be one hell of a fun chapter to right! I already got it planned out, just gotta figure out what chapter to put it in.

Naruto is horny: well, DUH! He's the one to invent the 'Sexy no Jutsu'! HE CHANGES INTO A FREAKING NAKED GIRL! And if that's not horny, I have no idea what is!

NOTE

(Author notes)

"Talking"

'Thinking'

POV change

Scene change

Memory

Scene change in memory

Chapter 1

'Tour de Sasuke'

Nara looks around Sasuke's living room with huge, eyes dazzling with wonder. "Wow," she murmurs.

Sasuke smirks. Something about this girl seems very familiar but very different at the same time. 'I'll worry about it later. Now, where to put her?' he wonders.

He decides against the guest bedrooms. Those rooms haven't been opened in nearly thirteen years. Not since he was six. He just celebrated his nineteenth birthday a few days ago. The dust in those rooms will have piled up enough to write your name and it stay there for many, many years to come as an indent in the dust. No, it won't do to put someone that pretty in a room like any of those.

So the only choices left are either the living room … or his room. No way in hell is a guest ever going to sleep on the couch in any home of his. Not until his body is no more than an old memory and a pile dust. So the only sensible choice is his room. Naruto and Naruto only had ever set foot in Sasuke's refuge. His sanctuary. But something is telling him that it will be okay for Nara to go in.

"Come," he says, leading the girl down the hall. "There's more to see," he says in response to her confused look. She looks slightly suspicious, but nods anyway. She follows him almost without hesitation. He notices the slight pause before she followed him faithfully. He would never have noticed it if he hadn't been glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"So, what's behind all those doors?" she asks, motioning to the spare bedrooms.

"Guest rooms full of dust," he mutters.

She grins. "Gee, you don't use guest rooms that much, do you?" she teases.

Sasuke pauses, remembering Naruto saying exactly that the first time the blonde had come over. He shakes his head, both in answer to her question and to shake away that memory. "No," he mutters. He glances at her again as he leads her through the halls.

"Oi, why do you keep looking at me? I know I'm cute, but I didn't know I was that cute!" she teases.

He rolls his eyes. "Who said you were cute?" he says, turning to her.

She sticks her tongue out at him. "Ne, everyone else in the village seemed to think so, what with the beautiful comments and all," she says, tossing her long hair over her shoulder, just like she had in the streets.

Sasuke twitches when the same thing that happened on the street happens so close to him now. 'No, I must resist her charm,' he thinks. 'But … something about her teasing … it reminds me of … Naruto. But … Naruto's sexy no jutsu is a blond … it can't be him. Besides … she doesn't even look like his sexy no jutsu.' (Hehe, little does he know!)

"So … where am I gonna stay?" she asks innocently. Almost too innocently. Sasuke wonders if she knows something. "I hope it's not the couch," she sighs. "But … with the spare bedrooms all locked up …," she starts, an almost merciless grin playing with her lips.

His eyes harden. "My room," he says with a finality the bears no room for question.

Her eyes widen, then she smirks, playfulness lacing the smirk. "We don't have to move so fast, you know," she teases.

He blanches. "It's not like that," he growls. "I don't let guests sleep on the couch no matter what. Though I don't have many guests …," he trails off.

"Really? How many other guests have you had?" she asks.

"Only one," he says.

"Oh? And who was the lucky girl?" she teases.

He raises an eyebrow. "Who said it was a girl?" he asks haughtily.

"OOH! A guy? I didn't know you had that preference," she says, eyes alight with mischief.

He pales, then flushes. "No! It's not like that. He's just a good friend," he mutters.

She raises an eyebrow. "Good friend?" she asks. "Who?"

He lets a small smile toy with his lips. "My best friend, Naruto Uzumaki," he says, his eyes taking on a faraway look.

She blinks. "Wow," she says softly. 'So … he does like me!' she/he thinks. Sasuke doesn't know it, but the girl he is currently talking to is Naruto in a jutsu. But the blonde boy is trapped as a redheaded girl. 'I shouldn't have tried that damned jutsu. I should have known something like this would happen if I changed my hair color and figure! UGH! But, at least I'm getting some good knowledge about him without him knowing.' "So, you're close to this Naruto?"

He nods. "Hai," he says.

She smirks. "How close?" she asks. He glares at her. "Kidding! Kidding!" she says, waving her hands in front of her face in a move remarkably like one Naruto would do. "I didn't expect you to tell someone you barely know, anyways," she says softly. "So … where's your room?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Come on," he mumbles, leading her to further down the hall.

"By the way, I never caught your name," she says, causing their progress to pause momentarily. "You know mine, but I don't know yours. That seems a little unfair."

"Sasuke," he mutters.

"Oh, as in Uchiha, Sasuke? The last of the Uchiha clan?" she asks in shock.

"Yes," he growls. 'I guess the Uchiha reputation has spread farther than I thought,' he thinks.

"Eh, I should have known that topic is a bit touchy. Sorry," she says, bowing her head in shame.

"Whatever, come on," Sasuke says, leading the girl to his room. Thank the lord that Naruto made him put two futons in the room of equal 'fanciness', as the blonde had called it. He won't have to share the same bed as the girl. "We're here," he mumbles, leaning against the doorframe as Nara looks around the room. He seems to do a lot of mumbling lately. Mostly since Nara showed up.

"Nice," she says. "Better than my room was."

Sasuke looks at her. "So, what was your room like?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "Nothing much to describe, the village was rather small. Not many outsiders knew of it, so it will rather pointless to say the name," she says. "My place was the smallest and not exactly the best in the village, since I was the least-liked orphan of the village." 'Well, that is pretty much true," Naruto thinks.

"Outsiders'?" Sasuke asks, raising an eyebrow.

"That's what we called people who didn't live there. Only one or two knew of the place," she says. 'Geez, this is gonna be very awkward to explain when he finds out who I am,' Naruto thinks. "And they were traders who also were killed in the raid, since it was trading day." She pauses. "But, since the village was beside the southernmost coastal corner of the Leaf country, we considered ourselves part of Leaf. Even though I was the least-liked, I was one of the more powerful ninja in the village." 'Also true,' Naruto thinks. 'Though the location is not quite right.'

Deciding that this conversation isn't a good topic for either to dwell on at the moment, they decide to move onto other subjects … such as how 'Nara' is gonna get more clothing, though Sasuke gets rather embarrassed about it. But the dark-haired boy hides his embarrassment rather easily. Naruto is not at all embarrassed by it … because he has shopped for girl's clothes often to cover up his sexy no jutsu. But he is rather embarrassed that he has to buy the clothes with Sasuke. After all, he never shopped for clothes, male or female, with anyone else. And having an attraction for the dark-haired genin is just an added couple of points to his embarrassment.

Sarah: okay … this seems like as good a place to stop as any that's not a cliffy. I'd rather stop at a cliffy, but it would take too long to get to a good cliffy. Eh, hope you like.

Naruto: I'm … a … girl!

Sarah: sorry, but you're not a girl. You're just trapped as one.

Naruto: SAME THING!

Sarah: I won't trap you as a girl for a while, okay?

Naruto: is that a promise?

Sarah: I promise I won't trap you as a girl for a while.

Naruto: fine.

Sarah: (thinking: that doesn't mean that I won't make him a girl naturally!)

Sasuke: this is going to end up insanely.

Sakura: agreed. They never stop bickering. It's a wonder they don't kill each other.

REQUEST OF REVIEWERS!

So, reviewers. I was wondering something. What chapter do ya'll want Sasuke to start thinking 'Nara' isn't a normal girl? The choices are 'Chapter 5', 'Chapter 6', 'Chapter 7', or 'Chapter 8'. I'd prefer it to be six or seven, but it's up to you all. I've got time to wait. But I want to know the score by the time chapter 3 is posted, since I'll probably be done with chapter 4 by then. I want to know so I can figure out what to do with chapter 5 and so on. Just put the number sign and the number of the chapter you want Sasuke to start wondering about 'Nara' and 'her' odd habits. Thankies!