Chapter Twenty-Nine

"I've always loved you."

Seeing that Natalie looked about ready to pass out from shock, John continued. "I won't be all cliché and romantic and say I loved you the second I walked into Crossroads, because it would be a lie. But the moment I met you, I did want you. I had read your case file and seen your picture, but it didn't do you justice. Here you were, beautiful, sexy, and completely confident. You never put up with my crap and even called me on the way I was looking at you. Cristian always saw it, from day one he recognized the way I was undressing you with my eyes," John laughed softly and began to pace the room. "And no, it wasn't just part of my act of the sleazily pool shark. But can you blame me? The night before your wedding when I showed up with the plane tickets, I was half hoping that you'd be the type of bride who needed one more wild night of passion with a complete stranger. And as much I doubted you would be, it was still disappointing when I went back to my hotel room alone."

Still speechless, Natalie remained silent.

"Then Vegas happened and everything changed. I stopped just wanting you, and began to care about it. The day I showed up at Llanfair and you hit me and started screaming about how much you hated m, I saw myself in you. It brought back all those memories of losing Caitlyn that I had just pushed aside. Suddenly it wasn't just about sex. It killed me to know that because of my actions you had to go through what I did, during what was the worst time of my life. So I stuck around, wanting to make sure you got through it, wanting to make sure that unlike me, you actually turned out okay."

Finally finding her voice, Natalie spoke. "John…"

But he held up a hand and stopped her. "No, I need to get this out. You know I hate talking about my feelings, and my thoughts so if I don't say it now, I may never will. Somehow you actually managed to forgive me, and we began friends. But you were right, we were never just friends… there was always something more. At first I couldn't admit it to myself because of Caitlyn, even after six years I still felt obligated to her. You helped me with that, but by the time I was ready to focus on us, you had moved on."

Natalie started to speak again, but John rushed on. "So, to hide from the hurt I started sleeping with Evangeline. There was never anything there, just sex. I forced myself not to feel anything for either of you. Then when Hayes took you and I walked into that gym and saw you both hanging there above those flames. Well, I couldn't deny it anymore… it was in that second I realized I was in love with you."

John stopped pacing and looked straight at her. "Then Hayes grabbed you, and I had to go back into denial. Finally after weeks I found you and realized I had to stop lying to myself. So, I finally let you in, finally started that relationship that took us three years to get to - but all the while still pretending that I didn't love you. I couldn't admit to it again, not when knowing that Cris was in jail. So I pushed it away. Let myself be with you, but refused to admit I loved you."

"What changed?" Natalie asked softly. "I mean after Cris came back you never fought for me just pushed me away. Why?"

"You asked me to stay away."

Natalie forced herself not to roll her eyes at John's stupidity. "I didn't mean it."

Now it was John's turn to look at her like she was crazy. "But you said it."

Deciding now was not the time to argue over the complexity of women, Natalie repeated her earlier question. "So what changed?"

"You started helping me with this case, and then we found out that Paige was the doctor." John let out a small laugh. "Here I was ready to pound the life out of anything I could get my hands on, and you drag me to the gym to teach you how to fight. It was in that second I allowed myself to admit what I already knew; I was in love with you."

Natalie's brow furrowed in confusion. "My taking you to Roarke's did that?"

"It was more the fact that you knew what I needed. That despite everything I put you through you still cared enough to take my mind off it."

"So you did mean it…" Natalie muttered softly under her breath.

"Meant what?" John asked confused by her reaction.

"The night we got drunk and almost slept together you whispered "I love you Natalie" in your sleep."

Realization dawned on him. "That's why you left."

Natalie nodded. "I didn't want to get my hopes up…"

"I love you Natalie, and I just hope it's not too late for us."

Natalie shook her head, a few tears beginning to fall from her eyes. Taking this as a sign of rejection, John started to back up but stopped when Natalie softly spoke.

"No, it's not too late."

"What?" John asked in disbelief.

Natalie seductively walked toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "It's not to late for us. I love you too John." She replied before leaning up and capturing his mouth in a more passionate kiss.

They remained locked in a tight embrace until John pulled away and stared seriously into her eyes. "I promise that this time will be different. No more lies and no more secrets."

Natalie smiled through the few tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes. "John every relationship is going to have those few secrets, but you just need to stop protecting me and let me in on the ones that matter."

Nodding, John opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the shrill ring of his cell phone. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he saw that that it was station. "I can ignore it…" he began, but Natalie shook her head. "It could be important."

Slightly annoyed at the disruption he barked into the phone, "McBain," but his whole demeanor and tone suddenly changed as he said, "Hey Bo, what can I do for you?" He remained silent for a few seconds, but then his face took on a look of barely controlled anger.

Now worried, Natalie walked over and placed a gentle hand on his arm waiting for the conversation to end. She didn't have to wait long as John replied, "we'll be right in" and hung up. Taking a second to calm down, John finally met her eyes.

"They just picked Truman up at the airport. They are booking him now."

Understanding what this meant, Natalie went over and grabbed her purse and jacket. "You go get the car, and I'll lock up here."