A/N: Welcome back to Denial Land. I hope you're enjoying your visit. It's now time for our Doctor to meet Yagaslovic the third... Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed!
Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Sadly.
"Can I just say," said the Doctor, as soon as he had fully materialised in front of the throne, "That your fore planning for all of this is absolutely brilliant. Slightly weird, admittedly, but still very, very brilliant."
"Doctor?" said Yagaslovic, "You are the Doctor."
"That's me. Nice to finally meet face to face, eh? I'm told that you go by the name of Yagaslovic the third."
"That is so," nodded Yagaslovic, "I am impressed that you have managed to penetrate my lair thus far. And I see that you possess technology by the way you summoned your human child to you."
"Human child?" he asked, then nodded in recognition as he caught Rose's eye, "Summoned? I wouldn't say that. She never normally comes when I summon her. I'd say 'teleported' is a more apt description. Or, actually, 'reversed teleportation'. But let's not get too technical, here."
"You came to rescue your human child," said Yagaslovic.
"That is so," nodded the Doctor, sagely, "And to find out what you were doing with the other girls. But I know all about that now. You're getting on a bit - you've certainly had a lot of time to set all this up - and you're getting scared about your future. That's what your distress signal was about: the end of your royal line. You need a wife - or a child producer."
"You did not wish for me to marry this human child."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been told that I'm a bit possessive."
"Again you speak nonsense," dismissed Yagaslovic, "It does not matter. She is a genetic impostor. We shall send her to the Cortains."
"Again?" asked Rose, "Do you have nothing more original?"
"Silence," ordered Yagaslovic as the Doctor smirked, "You allow her such freedom of tongue," said Yagaslovic, turning to the Doctor.
"I know, I know, it's terrible," agreed the Doctor, "But there's really no way of controlling her, to be honest. Sometimes, I find the best way to shut her up is with a cup of tea. Or chips. You could try that."
Yagaslovic shook his head impatiently.
"Now tell me Doctor, how did you get here?"
"Do you want the long or the short version? Because that's a terribly philosophical question."
"How did you enter my cave?" demanded Yagaslovic, his eyes bulging.
"Alright, alright, calm down. Basically, I identified the signals transmitted from your 'radio', intercepted them manually so I was able to perform the coded sequence and open the trap door in the stage. I then deliberately threw myself into the path of your particle diffuser so I would be taken to the cave back there. Then, understanding your use of teleporting, I reversed the last teleport and retrieved Rose, here, knowing that you would simply bring us back. And here we are, having this conversation. Quite simple really." He beamed at Rose, "Am I a genius, or what?"
"You are certainly clever," deliberated Yagaslovic, as the Doctor bowed his head, modestly, "But not really clever enough. Because although you are here, you have no way of stopping me and no way of getting back."
"Ah," said the Doctor, "You may have got me there. But give me a few seconds and I'll soon work something out for you."
Yagaslovic laughed and motioned for two of his guards to seize them.
"Send the female to the Cortains. I have no use for her now. Keep the Doctor. I may wish to converse with him occasionally."
"That's really very good of you," said the Doctor, seriously, "I like to talk."
Meanwhile, one of the guards was roughly dragging Rose over to the enclosure containing the Cortains.
"Hello again," said Rose brightly, to the alien guarding the enclosure entrance.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said the Doctor conversationally to Yagaslovic, nodding over at Rose.
"Why not?" asked Yagaslovic, in a bored voice.
"Well. One, because it would make me very, very angry. And two, because all I have to do is this..." he whistled, long and low, "And they all fall asleep."
In front of Rose, the Cortains all stopped growling and flopped to the floor, completely asleep.
"You have got to be kidding me," laughed Rose.
"Cortain weakness," explained the Doctor, managing to shake off the guard whose grip had become somewhat slack upon witnessing the sleeping Cortains, "Completely defenceless in the face of a lullaby. Useless at guarding babies. They'll be out for hours. In fact, that's why they never really caught on on Earth. I mean, they'd be about to jump on their prey, when someone whistles for Fido and Bam! They're asleep. I feel a bit sorry for them, really."
He looked back over at Yagaslovic who face had become slightly mottled as he grew angrier and angrier.
"You may be able to control the Cortains," said Yagaslovic, his voice shaking with rage, "But I will not hesitate to kill you two myself."
"I'm sure you wouldn't," soothed the Doctor, "But the problem is, you won't get a chance. You see, my, frankly, brilliant mind has just worked out the situation."
He stepped up closer to Yagaslovic so that one of his arms was loosely resting on the throne.
"Now, as you know and as I know," he said, quietly, "This isn't really a throne, is it? Well, not any more."
"What do you mean?" hissed Yagaslovic.
"Now, now, Yaggie. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's a transportation device, with a containment field."
Yagaslovic watched with fear-filled eyes as the Doctor slowly circled round to look at the back of the throne.
"All I have to do is press the emergency button here and…" he looked up as a slight whirring noise filled the cave and a green glow overtook all the pink aliens in the cave, "Have a safe trip, your highness," he said cheerfully, as each alien began to slowly disappear.
Rose walked back over to join him and they stood side by side as all evidence of Yagaslovic and his followers slowly disappeared.
"You just had to press a button," said Rose, disbelievingly, shaking her head.
"Well, I had to overcome a lot of obstacles just to press that button," defended the Doctor. "And you know how I get about big buttons."
"Where have they gone?" asked Rose, when it was just her and the Doctor left.
"Straight into a cell on Planet 606, I'd imagine," he replied, "I don't know what their Council was thinking, really. Imagine sending the last of the royal family to somewhere as populated as Earth. Still, everyone makes mistakes, I suppose."
"Uh, Doctor," interrupted Rose, as she realised he was sinking into a reverie, "How are we going to get out of this place?"
"Oh, yes, of course," said the Doctor, "Hang on. Got to reverse the teleport again."
He flicked the switch on the Sonic Screwdriver.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
The five girls in the first cave jumped considerably as the Doctor and Rose suddenly materialised again, in front of them.
"What the…?" asked Sophie, with very wide eyes, "Rose, are you alright?"
"Fine," smiled Rose, "And you guys are all going to be fine, too."
Hailey eyed Rose suspiciously. "Are you an alien?" she demanded, staring at Rose hostilely.
The Doctor snorted. "What, her?" he asked, "Not likely. I am, though."
He smiled brightly as Hailey snapped her head around to stare at him.
"Anyway, everyone, I'm assuming you lot want to get home. And because I am a genius and," he added, glancing at Hailey, "an alien, I can help you do that."
He looked up at the darkness above him and then at the walls all around.
"Right," he ordered, "I need you all to come and stand directly in the centre of the cave."
"Come on," said Rose, grabbing Hailey and Sophie by the arm and dragging them to where he indicated. The other girls followed.
"Now," said the Doctor, as he walked over to join the group of people, "The next space we reach will be very small. It'll be a bit of a squash, but nothing to worry about. If none of you panic, we'll only be there for a short space of time. Ready?" he asked, checking with Rose.
Rose looked around at the other girls. "Ready," she nodded.
The Doctor aimed the Sonic Screwdriver high up to the left and then high up to the right.
"He's going to save our lives with that small blue thing?" asked Sophie, doubtfully.
"Oh my God," breathed Hailey, as two green beams of light descended from the rock face and hit the small group.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
"Doctor," gasped Rose, trying to ignore the pain, "You're sitting on my leg."
"Am I?" asked the Doctor, apologetically, "Wondered what that was. Sorry," he shifted, with some difficulty.
"Sophie, would you mind getting your hair out of my face?" hissed Hailey.
"Only if you get off my hand," snapped Sophie.
"Everybody stay calm," ordered the Doctor, in a very commanding tone.
Calmly, he worked steadily on the two light sources at either side of the small cave. When he was satisfied that they were no longer working, he pointed the Sonic Screwdriver up at the rock above them, frowning in concentration. The girls watched, mesmerised, as a he traced the blue light in a pattern over the rock.
"Right," said the Doctor uncertainly, "Um, yeah. Well. I know exactly how to get out of here."
"So get us out." said Hailey.
"Yeah, well, I will. It's just going to be a bit embarrassing, that's all."
"Doctor," said Rose, curiously, "What's going on?"
"Well the only way to open the hole is repeat the pattern that opened it before."
"So repeat it!" exclaimed Hailey, "In case you hadn't noticed, this space isn't getting any bigger."
"Keep your hair on," said the Doctor, "Complaining isn't going to help the situation."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"Alright," he said, his voice resigned, "Everyone shuffle out to the side as much as possible. I need some room. As much as you can. That's it."
When he was satisfied that he had enough room. He laid back. And then lifted his feet so they rested on the roof of the cave.
"Shut up," he muttered, when Rose snorted, loudly.
The girls stared on, completely perplexed, as the Doctor began tapping the ceiling with his feet.
"I knew he was mad," muttered Hailey, as Sophie shushed her.
Rose watched without any attempt to conceal her laughter. The others seemed to find the proceedings less than funny. They all started to shrink away from the Doctor, as if they were witnessing him having some kind of fit.
However, then they all gasped in surprise, and one even clapped, as the rock above slowly began sliding apart to reveal a wide opening and the ceiling of the town hall.
"Ta da!" The Doctor grinned triumphantly and winked at Rose, "Best audience I ever had." He sat up abruptly,"Alright, everyone, one at a time. Out you go. And you can stop laughing, Rose Tyler. I just saved your life, you know."
Shakily, the girls began to drag themselves out of the cave. Rose helped them out from below, trying hard not to grin, until there were enough up the top to pull her out. Then they all leant in and ably heaved the Doctor out of the hole.
"Thank you, kindly," he said, "Now, Rose and I need to finish up here, but you girls are free to go home. Get on with your lives. Yaggie won't be bothering you again."
Some of the girls nodded happily and eagerly set off out the doors.
"Thanks, Doctor. Rose," said Sophie, happily, "Really; thanks."
"Don't mention it," said the Doctor.
"Yeah," answered Rose, "pleasure. Good luck and everything."
Hailey continued to stare at the Doctor.
"You're an alien." she stated.
"Yep," said the Doctor, patiently.
"But you saved our lives."
"I did," agreed the Doctor, "Although, I should probably mention that Rose helped."
"So you're a…" Hailey frowned, "You're a good alien?"
"What makes you think all aliens are bad?" demanded the Doctor.
"Hey, this time last week I didn't even think aliens existed. Then I got captured by one."
"Well, I suppose you could say I'm a good alien. Most of the time."
"So long as you don't borrow his comb without asking," said Rose, "Then he can get nasty."
The Doctor shot Rose a warning look, "Not all of us lot are bad. Just ask Rose. She's met a few aliens now."
Rose smiled as Hailey turned to her, with widened eyes.
"I best be going," said Hailey, quickly, "Thanks, though."
"No problem," grinned Rose, "See you."
Rose went and sat on the edge of the stage, once Hailey had gone and her and the Doctor were left alone.
"Just got to seal the entrance," explained the Doctor, turning back to the hole, "Otherwise some poor child could get a nasty surprise during their tap dancing exhibition."
"Tap dancing?" asked Rose, in confusion.
"Oh, I'll explain later," grinned the Doctor. "Right," he announced, jumping up, "That's that. Now let's go retrieve the radio. I think it'll go nicely in the TARDIS kitchen. Just what we need, really. There's nothing better than a loud sing-along while waiting for the kettle to boil. And I'd better disable the transmission booster, too."
"Then can we go get some chips?" asked Rose, following him, "I'm starving."
Just a short chapter to follow to finish things off, now.
If you've read it, please, please review it!