The Journal of The Second Generation
By Sylvir Flames
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or mostsongs mentioned In this story. I will tell you who wrote the songs andwhat they are called at the end of the chapter. So with out further ado.
Here is the story you've always wanted to read but not known it until now. And now for the story to begin. ENJOY!
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Chapter One: Gray Clouds Over My Heart
A black haired boy, sat on the branch of tree. Lonely as he was the only person who inhabited the dark park. He looked down at the notebook in his hand and the pen cluched in his pale shaking hand. This boy was sick, an stomic flu that had developed into something worse. He should have been in a hospital. But no one had even noticed he was even paler than usual, ice cold to touch at times and burning hot in others. No one noticed the hacking cough he had developed. In fact, the boy wasn't really surprised no one had noticed. Who would pay attention to that awful Potter boy? The one that attended St. Brutus's For Incurably Criminal Boy's? Nope, no one ever paid any attention to Harry Potter. Unless it was to give him the days chores.
Harry shivered and cluched his thin, sleevless, oversized shirt closer to his frail body. It was summer break, but however warm the days are the nights are equally as cold.
"Just my fucking luck." Harry grumbled darkly. "Even the weather hates me. Just like they must..."
Harry really did think ' they ' must hate him. They meaning Ginny and Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and Luna Lovegood. Not to mention Sirius Black. The late Sirius Black. Harry mused that Sirius must be turning in his grave over his godson's stupidity. And Harry didn't blame him, where ever his grave even was. It had been all Harry's fault. Falling for Voldermots damn stupid vision was bad enough. But then he had to go and drang along 5 of his best friends who all got hurt in a battle with over a dozen Death Eaters. Real smart Harry. And then, when the order came with Dumbledore to help them out, Sirius had been so worried about Harry that he'd come along. Then Sirius had ended up dueling with his cousin Bellatrix, getting stunned, and falling through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries. Never to return. He felt guilty about everything.
Especially about Hermione. When that curse had hit her, he felt his world shattering around him. And his heart. Harry had put it together in his second year after Hermione had been petrified. He loved her, it was as simple as that. He loved everything about her. Oh he tried other girls but they just weren't Hermione and he failed miserably at impressing them. She tortured him, the way she frowned when she couldn't seem to solve a problem, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear. The way she mother hen'd him and Ron into doing their homework. But he saw the way she looked at Ron. And he just couldn't bring himself to distroy the beautiful relationship no matter how much it tore him up. Becasue Hermione had started dating Ron at Christmas. Harry quickly tore himself away from the acheing thoughts.
Consumed with guilt, returned to his abusive relitives who treated him worse than a house elf. He felt worse for her than he did for himself. And what did the rest of the wizarding world think of this? Oh their golden Hero had stopped the Dark Lord from stealing a very important weapon that they didn't know what it was. That The-Boy-Who-Lived was a hero once again in relealing Voldermort into the open. Bull shit. Harry was falling and he could feel it. He hadn't even noticed his relative perticular behavior until the other day, and it had obviously been going on. For the whole 2 weeks that Harry had been back at Private Drive working his ass off. He was depressed and he knew it, he also knew he looked like shit but he didn't care. Harry slowly read out loud the wandering of his mind, written in ink on a snow white page.
" If you said I behaved myself, ha
That might make you a saint
I wonder why people can't see
My mask peeling like paint
I see people on the street
And simply walk away and wave
I fear that if I said a word
My act would quickly cave
I wish I could
Curl up in a ball
And shock the shit
Out of them all
Your savior has problems
Like you, but unlike you,
I haven't the freedom
To let them show at all
Watch as your golden boy
Slowly takes the fall
For things you are afraid to do
ignore his lonely call."
Harry looked surprised, even though he had been the one to write it. It was true...it really was. He had been thinking about it for week, and didn't even realize it was really happening. He was really falling! And then it hit him. "The prohesy!" Harry thought. "If it really is true...if I really am giving up. Then we're all doomed."
He started to get angry at himself. "You foolish bastard!" Harry growled. He hit himself on the head weakly and started coughed roughly. "Your condeming them all! I'm letting them down again, selfish...selfish that's what I am!" Slowly he tried to push himself off of the branch, but when he hit the ground slipped in the mud. His note book became soggy and dirty, words no longer readable but Harry didn't notice. He lay there breathing heavily, mud splattered all over him. Just lying there. Suddenly he heard a crack of thunder from above him and a flash of lightning. "I should just stay here and rot." Harry though to himself, and then got angry again as the rain came down in sheets.
"Feeling sorry for myself again? NO MORE!" He yelled out. The tears threatened to fall, but Harry was never sure if they actually did as he dragged himself up and staggered towards Private Drive. Harry decided to sleep on it. In the morning he would sort it all out. He couldn't just let Voldermort win. He already let his friends down, he wouldn't let them die. He didn't even remember knocking on the door to Number 4. He didn't remember his Uncle opening the door and going purple with rage before gaining control of himself and helping the boy into the house. He didn't remember him starting to cough and gage horribly, or Aunt Petunia cleaning him up and laying him on a bed. He didn't remember them talking softly to each other. He didn't remember a thing. But in the morning he was sure to find out. He wouldn't be rudley awoken to do his chores. No he would find out why the Dursley's chose that day to be civil to him. He certainly would.
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Harry opened his eyes weakly. He raised a pale, shaking hand in front of his face, and then lowered it feeling for his glasses. Sun streamed through the slots in his cupboard door. How did he get home? Why wasn't he covered in mud? Why did he have warm blankets covering him? Why were the walls so white they almost glowed. Then Harry realized, soon as he got his glasses back on, that the light was coming from a window. He was in a clean white room, with strange metal instruments laying around. He realized that he was in a raised bed with metal sides to stop him from falling over the edge of the bed in his sleep. Then Harry realized he hadn't had a nightmare last night! But what he saw and realized next shocked him most. A person was sitting in the chair beside his bed. And that person was Petunia Dursley.
Petunia blinked, startled when she realizd Harry was awake and watching her. She pressed a red button on the wall, and pressed a finger to her lips. "I'll explain later." And with that she left. Instead a bustling woman in a plain white shirt and pants walked in. "I'm in a muggle hospital?" Harry thought bewildered.
The woman smiled at him. "How are you doing Mr. Gentry? Better I presume?" Harry just nodded dumbly and decided to let his Aunt explain everything later.
"Yes thank you." Harry said in a dry, horse voice. The nurse smiled and handed him a glass of water from his bedside table. Harry smiled in relief and downed it slowly to let the moisture heal his sore throat. "If you don't mind me asking...?" Harry said unsurely.
"Go right ahead Mr. Gentry. I expect you to have quite alot of questions for me. I'm Maria by the way." She said and made herself comfortable on the end of his bed, clipboard in hand.
"Hi Maria. You obviously know my name so I won't introduce myself." Harry said carefully, incase his relatives had given other information besides a different last name. "I was just wondering how I got here? I don't remember much of last night."
Maria didn't hesitate. "Last night? Mr. Gentry you've been out of it for 3 days! Your Aunt and Uncle brought you here last friday. It's Monday now. You had a slight head injury as well as some kind of sickness we couldn't identify."
Harry nodded slowly, hand reaching up to his head. He could feel the stiches that obviously held a nasty gash together. "Thank you." he offered to the nurse. Maria shrugged. "It's my job. Now if you could tell me how you feel, we should be able to get you some medication and out of here before lunch."
"What time is it now?" Harry thought it was noon already.
"About 9:30. Now how do you feel?"
Harry grinned weakly. "Well, besides a sore throat, a migraine, an empty stomic, over exaustion, not seeing straight, and a pain in my legs, I'm perfect. Although the empty stomic is the worst at the moment." The nurse disregarded his small attempt at a joke and scribbled fercely on the clipboard. She walked out the door after informing him she'd be back in a half an hour. Having nothing to do Harry just stared at the ceiling for about 5 minutes before he heard footsteps comeing intp the room. His Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon walked through the door and sat down on chair beside the bed. Harry watched them unemotionally. Vernon looked like he just wanted to get whatever it was over with. But Petunia actually looked worried and a bit ashamed of herself.
"So..." Harry questioned into the awkward silence. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you take me to a hosptital for once?" It really did puzzle Harry and he couldn't begin to comprehend the resons they might have for doing it.
Uncle Vernon looked very uncomfortable. "Boy, er Harry. We've got a proposition for you." Harry looked apprehensive. A proposition with Vernon was usually an order. Something that wasn't good for him. What was going on here? Vernon never said anything politly to the ' Freak '.
Aunt Petunia just broke down after making sure no one was near the door. "Harry, after what happened to my little Duddykins last year...well, we realize England isn't the safest place to be right now..." Harry was starting to get ants in his pants. The antisipation was killing him. Not really, Voldermort already had first dibs on that. "Yes..." He said slowly.
"Your Aunt and I are moving out of the country for a while." Vernon said gruffly getting right to the point. "And we want you to come on some conditions." Harry let his mouth drop.
"Wha...?" Petunia cut him off. "Harry," she said quietly, "Please just listen to what Vernon has so say." To dumb struck to even move, Harry listened to his aunt and uncle.
"First of all bo...er Harry is that we're only going to be gone for a year or so." Vernon held up one puddgy finger. "Second, you will get a job, or join some club or team and stay out of our hair for the most part. Third, you will attend a NORMAL high school for the time we are gone. And lastly, you will not use magic in front of us, speak of it, or in anyway let on that you have it. Expecially to the new neighbours. Understand?" Harry's brain was in termoil, but he kept his face blank. Leave England! Were they nuts? He still had to finish Hogwarts! Not to mention defeat a dark lord...and then he began to consider what he had been told...it might not be so bad. It was only for a year...it might give him time to think. "They didn't say I couldn't practice my magic..." He thought slowly, "Just not in front of them...it would be nice to be normal for a while..."
Harry turned to his aunt and uncle and smiled. "Alright," He said slowly. "But I have a few conditions of my own. I agree with my getting a job or something, only as long as we're going for a year, I'll go to the high school...But" His relitives looked warily at him. "I will not be your slave. I will do a few weekly chores to earn my keep, but I will not do everything. Tell Dudley to get off his fat ass and get some exersise." Aunt Petunia nodded but Uncle Vernon started going a lighter shade of red. "I'll have to deal with him later." Harry thought tiredly, the ache in his legs was starting to bug him. "I won't mention anything about magic or do it in front of you or the neighbours, but you will let me practice it and you will let me put wards on the house to stop any wizards or witches finding it."
"Now see here...!" Vernon started but Harry cut him off. "It's for all of our protection. It will stop the Death Eaters and Voldermort from finding us. " Vernon was still red but nodded stiffly. Petunia waved her hand for him to continue. "And you will let me take a trip to Diagon Alley before we leave." Harry finished. Vernon seemed to deflate and just sighed, then got up and left. "Of course Harry, I hope you don't mind but we've had some of your records changed. Just your name, we'll get your passport just before we leave." Petunia said. "What's with her?" Harry thought before saying "Ya, I was wondering about that. What did you change my name to?"
Petunia grinned sadly. It was weird on her, like she hadn't smiled in years. It made her look strained more then anything else. "We changed it to Casper Miguel Gentry. After you mother and my great grand father."
"Aunt Petunia..I'm not quite sure how to put this but why are you being so..." The pain in his legs were getting worse.
"Nice?" She finished for him. "After what happened to Dudley I realized that if you hadn't have had you magic he could have died or worse. I owe you my little boy's life. I'm not stupid Harry. I know what my son gets up to. We're going to give him a new start and get him back in shape." Harry stared at her amazed. "By the way that owl of yours left a few letters for you on the table." she go up slowly and left. Harry quickly got up, wincing at the pain shooting up him and grabbed the letters, hobbling quickly back to his bed and stashing them under his pillow. And none to soon either. The nurse walked in and saw sitting up carefully on the bed legs under the sheets.
"Feeling any better Mr. Gentry?" she asked setting to long metal somethings on a nearby table.
"Worse if that's possible. And call me Casper."
"Well then Casper, if you'll just sit up and let your legs hang over the side of the bed I'll explain what we're going to do with you." Maria told him.
An hour later found Harry walking out of his door with a plain stright metal cane. He had metal braces clamped to each of his shins to steady them. Apperently he's have to wear them for 6 months. She have him a few pain killers but told him he was just going to have to stick it out unless he wanted to be additcted to the drug. Harry decided to just go cold turkey. She had grabbed some kind of hot herbal tea that just tasted nasty that was supposed to help his cough, and shoved it down his throught. She took out the stiches on his head and wrapped linin tightly around it. He'd have to get it checked again soon she muttered. Harry just decided to grabb a book on healing and use his magic. And so it was that he left, still wearing his legs with his letters. As soon as he reached the Dursley's, he holed himself up in his rooms. He reached first for the completly black evelope. He knew it wouldn't be dangerouse as Hedwig wouldn't let anything bad happen to him.
July, 31st, 1997
Dear Mr. Potter,
It had come to our attention that you godfather Sirius Orion Black has passed away. We ask that you please travel to Gringotts to be briefed on his will and recieve what he has left you. It had also come to our attention that you have reached your 16th birthday. Your inheritance to the Potter Vaults becomes valid today.
We hope to see you on August 5th
Griphook.
"Oh joy." Harry thought before ripping open the second letter.
Harry,
It had come to my attention that you have revieved a letter from Gringotts concerning Sirius's will. I must ask that you do not leave your relitives house under any circumstances. We have posted guards outside of your house to insure your saftey. I have also asked Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley to not write you any letters incase they get redirected. It is my final grave duty to inform you that you will be staying with your relitives for the whole of the summer. Try not to go out of the house or off the property.
Albus Dumbledore.
Now if anything else that day hadn't got Harry's blood boiling, it sure did now. Who was Dumbledore to tell him he could even walk outside of his house to the park! The man was absolutly infuriating! Well, it was just to bad for him that Harry was going to be comming back to Hogwarts at all this year. Harry smirked before giving in to a wide yawn. Forgetting that he had yet to eat, Harry fell into a deep sleep. Moments later Hedwig flew in the window to see her master laying half on half off the bed. One arm hanging off the mattress one across his chest. Neglecting her perch she settled down beside Harry's head and also fell into a deep sleep.
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Harry woke to the sound of Hedwig cooing in his ear for him to get up. Looking at the clock he moaned at the same time his stomic grumbled. "Hedwig it's 6:00 in the bloody morning!" he sat up and shooed her away. Propped up on a pillow he took a quick look around the room and then winced. Looks like the pain killers were finally wearing off. Spotting a tray on his desk he figured his relatives didn't want him to come down stairs. There was a slice of grape fruit, a granola bar, and an apple. He stuffed them down hardly tasting the food, he was that hungry. He only ate half of his granola bar, the other went to Hedwig who gobbled it up nearly as fast.
Not wanting to go down stairs, Harry reached under his bed and pulled out a battered old guitar. It used to be Dudley's during his rockstar craze, until the fat boy took a tantrum and threw it against a door. Harry had fixed it to the best of his ability and even stolen Dudley's old instructions book and taught himself to play. The instrument look battered but sounded as good as new. Harry proved this by, leaning back and letting his fingers roam over the cords, unconsiously humming a tune then softly singing,
Who cares for reality?
I want to live in a fantisy.
No dirty factories and smokey skies,
Where family and friends don't say goodbye's
My ears did not hear, the troubles
of those both far and near, saw no
abandoned home or broken window panes
But sunny skies and grassy plains
Who cares for reality?
I want to live in a fantisy.
No dirty factories and smokey skies,
Where family and friends don't say goodbye's
Once I cared for no troubles but my own, but
Maybe once for my friend who broke a bone
I heard not of the sick, crazy, or insane
Of those who sit in a wheel chair or walk with a cane
Who cares for reality?
I want to live in a fantisy.
No dirty factories and smokey skies,
Where family and friends don't say goodbye's
The words drifted away softly. He written the song after 4th year, when he'd had a nightmare about Cedric and couldn't sleep. Hedwig hooted at him and he grinned. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be hear all summer!" Harry bowed thinking "Or at least until we move, wonder where we're going anyway." His stomic growly loudly and Harry swore Hedwig was laughting at him. He made his way quietly down the stairs. Aunt Petunia spotted him and shoved a plate his way. "Eat up Harry. You and I are going out."
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So? Opinions people I need your opinions! Ya okay so the letters are kind of corny and boaring. By I just wanted to get them out of the way. You'll have to wait and see if It turns out to be Harry/Hermione. You'll find out where their moving in the next chapter, and why the Dursley's want Harry to come with them so bad. Also, Harry and Vernon find some common ground. Please Review! If it's cheezy that's okay. It will get better.