Winning Love: Chapter 1
Alicia Blade
You guys are SO RIGHT! Darien totally sounds like a girl in the prologue! lol, ah well... yes, I wrote this over 8 years ago, when I was 14. I'm doing some light editing and will try to work in some more of that dry, sarcastic wit of his that we know and love, but I'm afraid I won't be working too hard to change the overall voice of the story. It would be too time-consuming and I would much rather focus on the next new story I'll be posting. But thank you for the concrit and it is always welcome, on new and old fics. Anything to improve my skills. (Though I was very glad that some of you pointed out how much my writing has improved since this, my first attempt at a full-length fanfic.)
First Attempt... get it?
Winning Love
Chapter One: First Attempts
I'm afraid of love.
Yes, me, the guy who fights big, scary monsters on a nightly basis and never bats an eye is positively terrified of something so simple and commonplace as basic human affection, desire, trust... and all of those other foreign feelings tied up in love.
The realization surprised me. After all, since I was a child I've watched happy couples strolling through the park and been secretly jealous. I never felt love. I never knew it. I always felt like maybe I wanted it, but perhaps I wasn't deserving? Or ready? Or brave enough to love?
I don't even love my princess, the beautiful princess who haunts my dreams. I think I know her, and I think she loves me. But the feeling is not reciprocated. Who could love a dream, anyway? Really, truly love it. Is it possible to feel that strongly toward someone you have never touched, or felt, or talked to? My only memories of her are her voice echoing in my head, telling me to bring her the crystal. This holds no pleasure or satisfaction for me; just another obligation, like rescuing Sailor Moon, or getting straight-As in my classes. I would still find the princess, of course, and bring her the rainbow crystals, but only to find my identity. I don't love her. It has nothing to do with love. Not passion. Not necessity.
But Serena... that's a different story. I've talked to her. I know she is kind and gentle and loves everything and every person she comes in contact with. She would put her heart and soul on the line, just to get a smile out of a saddened friend.
Serena is a girl I could hold, and kiss, and talk to, laugh with, love. I even think I could open up to her, if she ever wanted me to. And I know she would listen and never judge me. She just isn't like that.
And so here I am, waiting on a street corner for the most wonderful girl in the universe, terrified. I'm actually, pathetically, shaking. I am petrified, and of what? My own feelings, that have seemingly conquered me and driven me witless. I'm scared Of how deep I'm in already. I had fallen in love with her so long ago, without even knowing, and now that I realize what I've been feeling all this time, I don't think I could dig my way out of this if I wanted to.
If I wanted to.
I don't know if I do. I find that I don't know much of anything these days. Only that I love her, which is frightening, and that I need her to love me, which often seems like an impossible fantasy. Rejection seems like an inevitable end to all this, but when compared to the other option--staying silent and giving her away to some other schmoe without ever fighting for her--rejection doesn't seem all that bad.
After all, what, exactly, do I have to lose? If there is even the slightest possibility that she doesn't hate me, and maybe could even love me, then I would be happier than any other person on this planet. And I would finally be that among those couples holding hands in the park.
I impatiently glance at my watch. 3:28. Still. Which means she is still precisely two minutes late. Not that she knows she has an appointment, but that's beside the point. She is always at the arcade at exactly 3:26 (don't ask how I know this) but today, the day of all days, she has to be late, and every tick of the clock drives me a bit closer to insanity.
Suddenly spotting two balls of golden hair down the sidewalk, I feel my world come to a painful halt, then continue in slow-motion. Gulping, I straighten my green blazer and take a deep breath. Here she comes, prancing along with a smile brighter than the sun. For a moment I lose all thought, just looking at her and her timeless perfection, so much beauty wrapped up in such a slender little package.
Okay, time to get a grip. She's only half a block away and I'm still not sure what I'm going to say. Damn, I knew I should have prepared a speech. Well, I know one thing. I won't call her Meatball Head. I'm not as dumb as I look, trust me, I know better than that.
"Hey Meatball Head!"
Inward flinch. I take back that dumb comment.
"My name is NOT Meatball Head, you stuck-up jerk! Why can't you get it through your thick scull! My name is Serena! SERENA!"
Okay, don't panic. You can still recover from this. Quick, say something devilishly charming! Get her to smile, laugh, anything!
"Uh, sorry Serena. You headed to the arcade?"
Preferably something that doesn't make you look like a dimwit, but hey, bonus points for getting the name right.
"Not that it's any of your business, Darien, but I'm going to meet someone."
"Really? Where?"
She turns away with a small blush, muttering, "The arcade."
Big surprise there. I smile to myself. "Well, if your waiting, mind if I wait with you? I could buy you a sundae, if you'd like." Her face brightens for a brief second. Way too brief a second.
"What, so you can torture me with your ever-obnoxious presence? I do NOT need you to wait with me, Darien. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that, I just, well… thought you might want some ice cream or something, that's all."
"Why? So you can startle me into spilling some on my new skirt and make fun of me some more? Thanks, Darien, but I think I'll pass." Thrusting her shoulders back, she walked past me and into the arcade. I stared for a second, feeling a lump settle in my stomach. Okay... one step forward, two steps back. But this meeting was beneficial in that it... uh... well, confirmed how much she really distrusts you. And possibly despises you.
Fine, it just gives us something to work toward. I'm not giving up that easy. Whether she likes it or not, I love her. And you don't give up on people you love. I'm pretty sure. I'm still kind of figuring this out as I go along, after all, but that one seems like a given.
Inhaling a calming breath, I followed her into the arcade. She was sitting alone in a booth in the corner. After ordering a two-scoop chocolate sundae with extra whipped cream, I walked over to her, noticing that her eyes were closed and a small smile was playing on her lips. Silently, I placed the sundae in front of her and took a seat across the table.
"I thought you were meeting someone."
Her eyes flew open. For a second she just stared at me, and I wasn't sure she'd even heard me. Then her face once again turned to anger, as it always does whenever more than two words come out of my mouth.
"I am! And why are you following me? I said to leave me alone!"
"No, you said you'd pass on that ice cream. And so I thought I'd make sure you didn't want any. Just thought maybe you didn't hear me at first or something."
Her eyes finally fell on the sundae. I could see the drool forming at the corners of her mouth. "It sure isn't like the Serena I know to turn down free food."
She looked from me to the sundae and back. I could tell she was considering whether or not to take it, which, I'll admit, kind of hurt my ego.
But, just as she was reaching for the spoon, a third person entered the scene. With a tap on Serena's shoulder, she looked up to be met with a pair of dark violet eyes staring back at her.
"Oh, hi, Raye!"
"Hey Meatball Head!" The black-haired girl took a seat next to me, forcing me to slide next to the wall, attempting to hide my irritation at the untimely interruption.
"Ugh! What is it with you two? Can't either of you remember my name is SERENA?"
"I remembered," I quietly point out, feeling like I deserved at least some credit for successfully completing three sentences of conversation without the dreaded nickname. But I can tell she isn't quite as proud of me.
"YOU are the one who started calling me that in the FIRST PLACE!"
"Serena!" Raye snapped. "Can't you hold your temper for two minutes?"
"What? You're talking to me about MY temper? Look who's talking, you self-absorbed private school priestess!"
And with that, the tongue war began. How do I get stuck in these situations? But soon I was saved by an unfamiliar, very tall girl with long brown hair.
"Would you guys stop arguing? The whole arcade can hear you!"
I sighed with relief as the insults quickly turned to blushes.
"Darien," Raye introduced, "this is Lita. Lita, Darien."
"The jerkwad," Serena added. I don't think any one heard her but me.
"Hi Darien," Lita was saying. "It's nice to meet you."
"Look guys," Raye was saying. "We should really be going. There is a reason we're here, remember?"
Lita nodded, but Serena just stared blankly. Then recognition crossed her face.
"Oh, right!" She stood up beside Lita.
"Amy will be meeting us at the temple," said Lita. "She said something about having to finish an extra credit assignment at the library first."
Just as I was desperately searching my brain for any reason to prevent their leaving so soon, Raye grabbed my arm, almost possessively. "I'm really sorry I have to go, Darien. I'll talk to you later, ok?"
I nodded in agreement. What was I supposed to say? That girl scares me.
And then I looked at Serena, whose back was turned to me. The three girls began to walk to the automatic glass doors, but Serena stopped and turned to look at me. My heart jumped in anticipation of what she would say.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" She grabbed the sundae, still untouched, and shoveled it down with lightning speed. Setting the empty bowl back on the table with a satisfied grin, she licked her lips, smiled at me, then scampered off to her friends.
And maybe I was a little grateful that she'd left, because that smile had left me speechless and dazed in the best possible way.
Not long after the girls had left, Andrew joined me in the booth.
"Hey Andrew."
He didn't answer, but there was a curiously sly smile on his face.
"Was that her?"
I stared with well-practiced confusion.
"Oh, come on, Dar. She was hanging on to you like you were a raft in the middle of the ocean! She has to be the one!"
Oooooh... Raye!
"What one?"
"Let's see… the one that has you completely ga-ga. The one you can't seem to keep your mind off for more than thirty seconds. Is that her or not?"
I sighed, refraining from laughter. "No, Andrew. She is most definitely NOT the one. She's hardly even a friend!"
He looked at me suspiciously. "Look, Raye is not, and will never be, my girlfriend. And I don't want her to be. She can be nice at times, but she's just… not for me. I really have to get going. Talk to ya later, okay?"
"Yeah, sure thing." He still didn't look completely satisfied, and as I began walking toward the door, I was stopped by his hand on my shoulder. "Oh, I almost forgot, there's a talent show this weekend, and Lizzie's going be in it. I really don't feel like going by myself, so I was wondering if you would come with?"
I'm sure you'll be surprised to learn that attending a talent show just to see Andrew's little sister do some stupid dance number is not really my thing.
"I even think Serena and her friends might be going, so there will be some other familiar faces."
But, you know, I've always harbored a soft spot for tap-dancing and baton tossing.
"That sounds great."
"Cool, I'll see you at the Little Theater, Saturday at 7. It'll be fun!"
Strangely enough, I believe him.
Big News: Those of you who remember First Love, my old fanfiction archive dedicated to first-season romances, will be happy to learn that the archives have been completely reborn as a part of Princess Destiny's Archive! View the link on my bio page. Almost all of the old stories are uploaded, and she's accepting new stories as well! More first-season romances in one place than you could ever know what to do with!