1993

"Billy, you know I don't go to those anymore."

"Oh, c'mon Josh, that was five years ago! You're not still hung up over that?"

Josh tried to laugh off his best friend's protests. He knew it was wrong to expect Billy to understand why exactly he was so anxious to avoid even the possibility of running into the Zoltar machine again, why he had refused to go to any of the school's carnival nights from that day on. While Billy knew his secret about being "big" for a few weeks, and even knew something about his affection for Susan, he had no idea how deeply that affection had gone. No clue that Josh had actually been in a pretty serious relationship with her. In fact, it was so serious that even Josh himself had not been able to fully comprehend it at the time. His idea of romance had been fantasizing about Cynthia Benson, the prettiest girl in their school. But now that he was getting closer to actual adulthood, Josh was becoming more aware of it, and he was realizing just how good he'd had it, and how he likely would never have it again. A girl like that doesn't just come along every day.

"Maybe you should hold on to my number?" She'd said to him playfully in one of their last conversations. It was a nice thought, but Josh wasn't stupid. Naive yes, but not stupid. He knew that Susan was going to spend the next ten years working around lots of good looking guys like Paul. Eventually she would fall for one of them and then she'd forget all about her brief fling with Josh.

This was why Josh never wanted to go anywhere near the Zoltar machine again. He didn't want to be reminded of that awful choice he'd been forced to make, between his old life, and a woman he really liked (loved? He didn't know. Certainly no other girl he'd met could compare to her. Cynthia Benson seemed so ordinary afterwards, compared to her). It wasn't that he regretted going back, his teen years, while filled with the expected angst, had been a worthwhile experience, he'd had plenty more good times with Billy, and he'd had more time to bond with his mother and little Rachel, who was now starting to get quite big herself. But what he hated was being forced to choose, having to give up one person he loved to be reunited with his friends and family. Susan could have come with him, of course, but she had seemed none too eager to relive her childhood. It was the final disappointing blow. The realization that he was going to have to give up something truly wonderful.

He hated himself for making the choice, hated Zoltar for doing this, in spite of the fact that he himself had made both wishes. And so he was going to stay clear of it if he could help it. Unfortunately, Billy really did not seem to understand this.

"I'm not still hung up over it, I just...I'm not feeling so great, so I should probably sit this one out."

Billy rolled his eyes. "Now you're just giving the same excuse you used last year. C'mon man, I thought you were over this. It's not going to be there, you know."

"What's not going to be there?" Josh asked, playing dumb. Billy didn't bite.

"You know what I mean. It's not gonna be there. But you know who is gonna be there? Lots of hot girls. You're the only guy I know in our school who hasn't hooked up with someone yet. And it's not like no one sees you. But it's that damn Zoltar, you're still thinking about when you were "big", when you were hanging out with that lady at work-"

"Billy, can we please just-"

"No, I think you need this. You need to get out there, you need to have some fun, let loose, and get a girl your own age. And I promise you when that happens, you're gonna forget all about this and move on with your life."

Josh sighed. He knew that Billy had a point, he really couldn't keep living his life in fear of a dumb arcade machine. That didn't mean he liked the idea of going to the carnival just to pick up girls, as Billy was suggesting. His friend was right about another thing, he was still thinking of Susan, and he doubted any of the girls at his school were going to shake his lingering feelings for her. If anything they would only make him feel sadder for the one who'd gotten away.

"How do you know? It showed up out of nowhere last time. How can you be sure it won't be there?"

Billy shook his head in exasperation. "It's not gonna be there, I already checked, and double checked. There is no Zoltar machine. Wherever it is, it's probably been destroyed, or it's in some dusty old warehouse or something. In other words, it's far, far away from here."

"I...I don't know, Billy."

Billy sighed. They'd been walking home; they were still next-door neighbors after all these years, and now they were nearing Josh's home. "I'm just looking out for what's best for you, Josh. I know you had a lot of fun those few weeks. Hell, so did I for a while. But eventually, you've gotta come back to reality. This, you and me, your life here, this is real. Not that fantasy you were living back then. Whatever, man. I'm gonna be at the carnival tonight. If you want to start living your life, you can meet me there, and we can try to pick up some dates. I'll even be your wingman this time, just 'cause I'm feeling so nice."

"Thanks Billy," Josh said, a melancholy smile reaching his face. "You really are the best friend a guy could ask for."

"I know I am," Billy replied with a hint of his old cocky smile. "And you're not so bad yourself."

The teens slapped their hands together in a truncated version of their old secret handshake, then parted ways. Josh ran up the steps to the front door, still thinking about Billy's words and his lingering heartache for Susan.