Okay, so...this idea spontaneously came to me after I finished watching the second Amazing SpiderMan with Andrew Garfield movie, and then reading a very bad, poorly written MHA fanfiction. I was like...yah, I'm gonna make this fic, it'll be short, like less than a thousand words.
I start writing, then an hour and a half and 3,000 words later, I'm just mentally facepalming over and over.
so, yah, it was never supposed to be this long. 5,000 words is actually insane for what this was supposed to be, I can't wrap my mind around it.
But, anyway, this was written in just a coupe days with no preparation, so it might not be the greatest. I hope you enjoy it, though!
It could never be said that Midoriya Izuku did not have good days. He did, days where he could smile without having to force it, could not feel the need to shy away when people approached him, or talked to him, or really did anything to interact with him. Days where he did well in his school assignments, where he could laugh with his friends, and feel like he fit in.
Today was not one of those days. Nor had yesterday been, or the day before. But really, it was fine. He was just a bit jumpy, felt nervous, especially when his friends all tried to talk to him, and have him join their conversation. It was fine, they wanted his opinion, it was good. It was strange and unusual, for him at least, but it was good.
Except, then he had to force himself to smile, to put on a brave face, and force his tired mind and body to act like they were fine. His training had been difficult lately, too, where he was trying to get stronger as fast as he could, so that he could be the Symbol of Peace like All Might wanted him to be.
And sometimes it all just got to be too much for him, where he felt like his smile could crack and disappear at any moment, where he just knew that he would flinch and shy away if one of his friends approached him, a smile on their face, or a friendly look in their eyes. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't.
All Might was telling him that he needed to be prepared, and he had been working more, practicing with his quirk more, working out more. He was getting up earlier to be able to have more time to practice and study. But then he was tired, and distracted, and so unfocused with his school work. His grades had slipped just a bit, but it was enough to throw his mood off even more.
And today, it was just too much. He felt like everything was crashing down on him, like the world was on his shoulders, and he was going to crumble and shatter beneath it. He was tired, and edgy, and nervous, and he just wanted a break. But, what he really wanted, was a hug.
He wanted to be wrapped in warm, comforting arms, and be told that it was okay. Not that it would be alright, or that he was fine, or even that it would get better. No, what he wanted, what he needed, was to be told that it was okay. That it was okay to feel the way he felt, that it was okay to need his space some days, that it was okay for him to just...be him, to feel what he was feeling.
He guessed, he just needed to feel justified.
Normally, he would think of going to his mom. But, he was on campus, and she was probably busy, and she wouldn't really be able to say that to him anyway. She would tell him that it was going to be alright, sure. And she would probably cry while she was doing do.
Izuku didn't want someone to cry with him and tell him that it would be alright. Because yes, he knew he was most likely going to cry, and he wanted someone else to hold him, to be the strong one for him, and tell him that it was okay. His mom couldn't do that.
The next person he would think to go to would be All Might. Because yes, he kind of thought of All Might as a dad to him, kind of. He looked up to him, he always has. And yes, he was a strong presence, and he definitely wouldn't cry if Izuku went to him with this. But he wouldn't tell him the right things either.
He would tell Izuku that he would get better, that he was just going through a rough patch, but he could make himself stronger, until this no longer affected him, until he could be the best hero he could be. He would tell him that he would get better, so he could be a hero to others.
And that just...wasn't what Izuku wanted to hear either. He didn't want to be told that he could get better, and that he had to be strong for others. He wanted to be told that it was okay for him to be like this. He wanted to be told it was okay for him to not be strong, to be weak, to just need help sometimes.
So he almost gave up, his tired eyes sliding closed as he sat in his dorm room. Those were the only two adults in his life that he though he could go to. And they wouldn't be able to help him. A tear leaked out of his closed eye, and fell to his bed below, which he was sitting on.
He wanted comfort, he wanted a hug, he wanted to be told it's okay. He wanted warmth, he wanted support, he wanted firmness. He wanted someone solid to lean on, who would support him, hold him up, let him lean on them until he was strong enough to support himself, and would just let him be himself until he was strong. enough.
He wanted...
He wanted...
He wanted...
His eyes snapped open, and he sat up straighter. He just stared blankly ahead, then snapped back to reality, quickly swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and standing up. The doorknob rattled as he grabbed it, his hands grappling with it for a minute before it finally opened, and then he was already off down the hallway, his door slamming shut when he was already down the hall.
Most of his classmates were in the common room of the dorms, since school had just let out a half hour ago. He had waved off his friends' requests to stay with them and hang out, saying he had a lot of homework to do. And he did, just...he wanted a hug. And he was going to go find the one person who could give it to him.
He ignored his friends' calls, rushing over to the entrance and slipping on his shoes, before hurrying outside, his shoes scuffing on the paved walkway.
It only took a minute for him to get back to the main building of the school, and there he slowed down. He knew it was against the rules to run in the building, and as much as he was in a hurry, he knew better than to disregard the rules. Unless it was an emergency, like a villain attack or something.
It took another five minutes before he got to his destination. Those five minutes were filled with insecurities, his mind telling him that it was a bad idea, that he was being selfish, and that he probably wouldn't even get what he wanted. And he almost turned back. Almost. But he...he needed this, he really did. He was going to break apart, to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces, if he didn't find someone to hold him together.
And after those five minutes, he was standing outside the door to the teachers' lounge in the school building, where they had their computers set up, and there were a few private offices for if they needed some privacy without having to walk through the halls to their own personal office.
Izuku's hand hovered before the door, fingers curled, and knuckles facing the hard wood of the door. Taking in a deep breath and holding it, he allowed his hand to continue its movement, knuckles softly but firmly rapping on the wood three times. Just enough to be polite, but not too much that he seemed too impatient.
After he knocked, he slowly let out the breath he had taken in, standing at attention to wait for someone to answer.
He didn't have to wait long. Not even half a minute after he knocked he could already hear footsteps coming closer to the door, and then the door was being opened. Present Mic was on the other side, still in hero uniform, and his face lit up in his signature grin when he saw Izuku.
"Little listener!" He called out, his fingers reaching up to push his sunglasses farther up on his nose. "Did you need something?" He was leaning against the door, relaxed, but Izuku could see the underlying tenseness about him, how he was ready to move at a moment's notice.
It was one of the things Izuku loved and respected the most in his teachers, especially Present Mic. They were causal, friendly, open, but they were also still pro heros, and were always ready to move at a moment's notice, in case there was an emergency.
"Hello, Yamada Sensei," Izuku said, bowing. He was trying to keep a straight face, but he could feel his expression ready to falter, to fall into a frown, at any second. Yah, he really needed a hug. "Uhm, is Aizawa Sensei here?" He asked, his hands held straight at his sides.
"He sure is, listener," Present Mic assured. He shifted until he was no longer leaning on the door, and instead opened it wider, a clear invitation for Izuku to enter. "Why don't you come in, and I'll let him know you're looking for him, yah?"
Izuku nodded, and tried to smile, although he knew it was probably a little wobbly. He stepped into the room, stepping to the side of the door as Present Mic went father in, most likely looking for Aizawa Sensei as he said he would.
Izuku took this time to look around the room. He had been here before, mostly when All Might wanted to talk to him, but also to deliver documents or a message for some of the teachers, the occasional time.
It was still the same, a lounge area to the right, with some couches and easy chairs, as well as a small TV, the teacher's desks and work stations with their computers along the left side of the room, a small kitchenette in the front left corner before the work spaces started, and along the back wall were a few of those private offices. All that could be seen of them were their closed doors, but Izuku knew they were there.
Right now, the only people in the room that he could see were him, Midnight, Ectoplasm, and Power Loader. Midnight and Ectoplasm were on their computers, and Power Loader was over by the coffee machine, most likely making himself a cup.
He could also see Present Mic over by the set of couches in the area, which is most likely where Aizawa Sensei was. Izuku started to feel guilty, knowing that he was probably disturbing Aizawa Sensei's nap.
Before he had more time to wallow in that guilt, the form of Aizawa Sensei was rising above the couch, his signature, yellow sleeping bag falling down off his shoulders as he stepped out of it, and turned to where Izuku was still standing by the door.
Izuku held eye contact with him for a moment, then looked away, ducking his head. After a second, he could hear footsteps coming towards him, and when he looked up, he could see his teacher getting closer, his hands in his pockets, posture slouched, and his standard, blank expression on his face.
Izuku couldn't hold eye contact with him, having to constantly look away to the floor, before looking back into his teacher's eyes. He could see something there, some emotion, he thought it looked like concern. Either way, he was surprisingly feeling better just by his teacher being there. There was something altogether comforting about Aizawa Sensei's presence, and it made Izuku want to break down right there.
He managed to hold it in, though, since he didn't want anyone else to see him break down, and the other teachers were still in the room. Although, Power Loader had now moved back to his own desk, coffee cup in hand, and Present Mic had crossed the room to his own station, after waking Aizawa Sensei.
"Problem Child," Aizawa Sensei greeted, "what did you need?" He was still slouched, and would look relaxed and dismissive to the casual observer, but Izuku could tell that he was paying attention, and was ready for anything, just like Present Mic had been.
Gathering his courage, Izuku took a breath, opened his mouth, and...he was nervous. "Uhm...ahh...I, umm..." He kept trying to look Aizawa Sensei in the eyes, but he just couldn't. His cheeks flushed, and his eyes once more were averted to the floor. How stupid was he? He came all this way, bothered the other teachers, woke Aizawa Sensei up, all because he wanted a hug? He was acting like a little kid, rather than a hero student. How pathetic was he?
He opened his mouth again, either to try to excuse himself, or to try to ask again, he wasn't sure which. In all honesty, he wasn't sure what he even wanted to ask. He really hadn't rehearsed this, or thought it through at all. Was he supposed to just say, oh hey, Sensei, can you just give me a hug and tell me it's okay? That's in your job description, right?
But before he could even decide which route he was going go take, Aizawa Sensei beat him to it. He must have seen something on his face, in his expression, because he gestured with his head to the back of the room, and took his hands out of his pockets.
"Let's go into one of the offices, Problem Child; we can talk there. Is that okay?" He asked, looking directly at Izuku, but not in a way that made him feel judged. No, the look was all patience, inviting, accepting. He offered a solution to the problem at hand, and was waiting to see if it was alright with Izuku. It was nice, Izuku appreciated having the choice, while still not feeling pressured.
Giving a jerky shake of his head, Izuku started to fidget with his hands, and took a step forward to follow after Aizawa Sensei, when the black-clad man started walking towards the back of the room, posture still loose and relaxed.
Izuku let out a breath, and sped up a bit to keep up with his teacher, following a few feet behind him as they passed the other teachers, who paid them no mind, and came to the private rooms in the back. Aizawa Sensei reached out to the handle of one of the doors and opened it, gesturing for Izuku to go in first.
After the greenette had entered the room, Aizawa Sensei followed behind him. He swung the door halfway closed, then turned back to Izuku. "You want the door closed, or would you rather it open?"
Again, he was offering a choice, and Izuku felt no pressure either way. "Umm, closed. Please." He stammered out, fingers still twisting into each other harshly as his nerves started to act up again. This was it, this was the moment he's been wanting, but also the moment where he had to ask his teacher for a hug.
It was way out of his usual interactions with this teacher, and probably way out of said teacher's comfort zone and usual interactions with students, too. But somehow, Izuku just felt that a hug from Aizawa Sensei would make it all feel...okay. Maybe not perfect, or even good, just okay. That's all he wanted.
He could feel the tears starting to gather behind his eyes again, could feel the telltale prickle that signalled they would soon be flowing down his face.
"Midoriya, what's wrong?" Aizawa Sensei asked. He was standing by the door still, which was now closed, a few feet from Izuku; it was too far, in his opinion. "I've noticed you've been a bit off lately, you seem distracted. I didn't want to pry, since I believed you could figure it out on your own, if something was bothering you. But I'm here if you need me, you know. So, Problem Child, tell me what's wrong."
It was said as a statement, but there was an underlying hint of something else in the words, almost a question, but not. It was more like an offer. Like every other action and expression of Aizawa Sensei's since Izuku got there, it was open, free from judgment. It was a choice, an offer, it was open. And it was inviting.
Izuku ducked his head, his hands separated from each other, and now fisted at his sides. He hoped his bangs hid the tears growing in his eyes, but as soon as the first sob jerked his body, he knew he couldn't hide the way his shoulders jolted with it. His head curled down even farther towards his chest, and his fingers moved to grip his pant legs.
Great, Aizawa Sensei had offered, and he still couldn't voice what he wanted.
A few more sobs shook his body, and he felt the tears trailing down his face. A few of them reached his trembling lips, and as he opened his mouth to gasp in a breath, the salty liquid leaked through, coating his mouth with the taste of his tears.
He could hear soft footsteps coming closer to him, and he slammed his eyes shut, not wanting to see Aizawa Sensei. He wished the man couldn't see him, either, wished his teacher wasn't seeing him break down for seemingly no reason.
The footsteps stopped right in front of him, and still Izuku didn't open his eyes. It wasn't until a heavy, soft, firm, gentle, warm hand landed on his shoulder that his eyes snapped open, and his head snapped up along with them.
Aizawa Sensei's face was still smooth, relaxed, the scar beneath his right eye being the only break in his expression, but his face was slightly softer than usual, more gentle, more calm. It was soothing. And his eyes...they held so much emotion, so much gentleness. Izuku took in another gasping breath, trying to get his sobbing under control. It wasn't working.
"Midoriya, tell me what you need." The hand stayed on his shoulder, just a firm weight and warmth that Izuku could latch on to.
"I n-need..." Izuku started off shakily, trying to get his voice to cooperate without trembling. "I j-just want...want a...a h-hug." His shoulders jerked several times as he said that, and with each jerk, with each sob, his head sunk lower. The tears were gathering at his chin, dripping off his face, and landing with soft thuds on the carpeted floor.
He clenched his eyes tightly shut, not wanting to see the look of disgust on Aizawa Sensei's face, not wanting to see as the man turned on his heel and left the room. For Izuku was sure that was what he would do. After all, what kind of teacher would stay after his student just asked him for a hug while sobbing like a baby?
He tried to suppress another sob when he felt Aizawa Sensei take his hand off his shoulder, sure that the hero was about to leave. He couldn't suppress the sob, just like he couldn't suppress the way his entire body jolted when, instead of walking away, Aizawa Sensei stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Izuku's shoulders and back, pulling him close to himself and surrounding Izuku with warmth.
Izuku's body stiffened at first, and his sobs paused for a moment from his shock, and then he was relaxing in his teacher's arms, going limp like jelly, and reaching his hands up to grab at the front of Aizawa Sensei's shirt.
He was sure that he was getting the shirt wet where his face was pressed into it, and probably wrinkling it where his fingers were curled into it harshly, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not when he could feel Aizawa Sensei rubbing large, slow circles into his back, when he felt the man's strong arms holding him up, supporting him, and not when the warmth of his teacher's entire body was surrounding him.
It was soft, it was gentle, it was warm, it was firm and strong and comforting, and it was everything Izuku wanted.
"Hey, shh, it's alright, you're okay," Aizawa Sensei's voice murmured. His hands on Izuku's back went from rubbing circles to just rubbing up and down. His words made Izuku cry even harder, and his hands, fisted in Aizawa Sensei's shirt, pulled down on it, likely stretching the material.
"Midoriya, tell me what's wrong," Aizawa Sensei said, one hand coming up to run through Izuku's hair. His curls were pulled back, then bounced back into place again. It was calming, and soothing.
"I...i j-just...wanted a-a hug," Izuku forced out. He sniffled and took a wheezing breath in, then hid his face even farther into Aizawa's stomach. "I... I'm tired, and...and everything is just h-hard, and...sorry, this is...this is l-lame. I'm s-so pa-pathetic--" he tried to pull away from Aizawa Sensei, but was stopped as the strong arms held on tighter to him, and wrapped around his shaking frame more solidly.
Izuku's eyes snapped wide open in shock, tears still streaming down his face. His breath hitched, and he craned his neck up to be able to look at his teacher. Aizawa Sensei's head was bowed, his face pressed into Izuku's dark green curls.
"You're not pathetic for needing a hug, Izuku," Aizawa Sensei said, Izuku's name sounding strange yet familiar in his voice. "It's okay, you can have a hug when you need one, or even when you just want one. And it's okay if you do need one. Do you understand?"
Izuku breathed out a deep breath, eyes closing again. He could feel his heart, which had been pounding furiously in his chest before, starting to slow down. His whole body relaxed, his head fell down to rest softly against Aizawa Sensei's chest, and his legs slowly started relaxing until it felt like they would just give out.
His arms and hands had just started relaxing, loosening their hold on his teacher's shirt, when he felt himself being shifted. Immediately, his eyes snapped open, and his hands clenched into Aizawa Sensei's shirt even tighter than before. His legs still felt wobbly, and his breathing was starting to speed up again.
"Shh, it's okay, I just want to move us to the couch, is that alright?" Aizawa Sensei's calm voice drifted down, the man's hands resuming their steady motion of rubbing across his back.
Izuku nodded, his hair and face scratching up against Aizawa Sensei's shirt, lifting the material then letting it fall back into place.
Aizawa Sensei didn't move for a couple seconds, and Izuku belatedly realized that the man couldn't move while Izuku was clinging to him. He reluctantly released his grip on the man's shirt, and leaned back, keeping his face turned to the floor.
He was about to turn and step away entirely, but was stopped when Aizawa Sensei's arm wrapped around his shoulders, and drew him back in a side hug. It wasn't quite as nice as the full-on hug from before, but it was still warm, and firm, and just as reassuring.
"This okay?" Aizawa Sensei asked, squeezing Izuku's shoulder gently.
"Hmm," the greenette hummed, tucking his head into Aizawa Sensei's side, under his arm. Together, they shuffled over to the couch, which was up against the opposite wall and to the right of the door, and sat down, with Izuku still tucked up to Aizawa Sensei's left side. The wall to the left of the door had a desk, and the side of the room they were on had two brown couches facing each other, with a coffee table in between them.
Izuku curled his legs up onto the couch, and leaned fully into Aizawa Sensei's side.
"You good, Izuku?" The man asked, resting his free right hand on Izuku's head, with his left hand still circling around Izuku's back, arm pressed against the back of the couch.
"Yah," Izuku croaked out, sniffling a bit. The tears had stopped falling, but he could still feel the salt crusted on his cheeks from where the tears had trailed.
"You can talk about it, if you want," Aizawa Sensei said. His hand was still on Izuku's head, but his own head was facing forward, gaze locked on something across the room. It gave Izuku the chance to think without feeling like he was being watched, and the way he said it, more like an offer than a question, gave him the openness to refuse.
After thinking for a moment, Izuku nodded his head firmly, knowing that Aizawa Sensei would feel it. He wanted to tell someone about it, and he wanted that someone to be Aizawa Sensei.
So, Izuku talked. He talked about the things that had been bothering him for the last few days, about the things that did bother him on a regular basis, but that he thought were fine, and he could ignore. He didn't go into too much detail about his past, because that would inevitably bring up questions about his quirk. But he talked about other things, things that he couldn't tell to even his mom or to All Might, for fear that they wouldn't understand.
But Aizawa Sensei understood, or, at least, he listened without needing to understand.
Izuku was in tears for most of the time while he was talking, but Aizawa Sensei didn't judge him for that. He just kept his hands and arms steadily around Izuku, being a warmth and a firmness as the boy ranted, his arms gesturing around himself wildly.
Towards the end of his rant, when he had finally talked himself out, after who knows how long, and when there were still tears trickling down his face, but not flowing quite as hard anymore, he tucked himself into his teacher's side, hands curled in his lap, and face pressed into the man's shirt.
Aizawa Sensei's arm was still around his back--it must have been numb by now--with his hand resting comfortably on Izuku's shoulder. His other hand switched between carding through Izuku's curls, and rubbing steadily up and down his leg, just above the knee. Both motions were soothing to Izuku, and he found his eyes drooping as he lay there. He didn't want to fall asleep yet, though.
After he had been silent for a minute, with Aizawa Sensei just silently continuing his motions, the man finally spoke. "It's okay to feel that way, you know. You don't have to be happy all the time. And while you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable around your classmates, around your friends, there's nothing wrong with you feeling that way. I don't like people much either, and I'm not the biggest fan of physical touch, so I understand." At that point, Izuku's head snapped up, and he tried to pull away from the man, eyes wide. He started babbling out apologies, but was stopped by Aizawa Sensei tightening his hold on him, and by his voice.
"Shh, it's okay, Izuku. You're fine. Physical touch may not be my favorite thing, but it's not like I absolutely hate it. Besides, I think you needed this more than you thought. Which brings me to my next point." At this, he finally looked away from the far wall, and down at Izuku. The greenette had to swallow back tears at the soft look he saw in his teacher's eyes. "Izuku Midoriya, you never have to feel ashamed for needing something, especially if it's just a form of physical contact, a hug, even. Different people need different things to have a healthy mental state, and for you, I think you just need positive physical contact. I'm sorry that you can't be at home with your mother, and that sometimes you don't feel comfortable around your classmates. But you can always come to me, for whatever you need, even if it's just a hug. Especially if it's just a hug. That's what I'm here for, for all of you. I'm here to give you what you need to be healthy. It's only logical that I do that in any way I can. So this is fine. You needing a hug is fine, and while I don't want you to be sad, I do want you to know that it is alright to be sad. That just makes the time when you're happy all the sweeter, and happen more often. Got it, Problem Child?"
He ruffled his hair as he said the last part of his speech, and Izuku just nodded, mouth slightly open in awe. That was the longest he had ever heard Aizawa Sensei talk, outside of a lecture in the classroom. And even that was pushing it. And the words had been so sincere, and exactly what Izuku had wanted to hear.
He nodded again, reaching a hand up to rub away the tears that were building in his eyes again. Tucking himself back into Aizawa Sensei's side, Izuku let out a deep, slightly shaky breath, and let himself relax. A minute later he was sound asleep, chest rising and falling slowly. He was comfortable, and warm, and safe, and even almost happy again.
Everything was okay
If, after that, Izuku would come to the teachers' lounge, or the teachers' dorm, looking for Aizawa Sensei, it only took one glance for the pro hero to know that Izuku needed a hug. If that was the case, he would bring them to a private room, and hold him securely, for however long the boy needed.
Sometimes Izuku would even just find him in an empty hallway, walk towards him in a daze, and wrap his arms around his teacher, pressing his face into the man's chest. When that happened, Aizawa Sensei would just loosely wrap his arms around the boy in return, and wait till he pulled away, usually wiping a few tears from his eyes.
It was a unique relationship, only shown in those private moments between the two. But it was enough for them. One got comfort from a dependable adult figure in his life, and the other got the reassurance that his Problem Child was okay, and that he was in a healthy enough state of mental health.
It was when Izuku didn't come for a hug for a while that Aizawa got worried. After all, that usually signalled that Izuku didn't think he deserved it, or that he thought Aizawa wouldn't want to help him. In those instances, Aizawa was the one to seek out his student, and give him the comfort he needed.
And that was okay. Because he was there for his Problem Child, and he always would be. For whatever he needed.
So, that was that. It was way too long for just Izuku getting a hug, there were probably way too many overdramatic emotions in there, and the characters were way out if character.
But, that's what I love, so...I'm fine with it, as long as you are, lol.
I'm thinking of making a couple more chapters of this, about the ending, the different times Izuku got a hug. One of them will hopefully be what this was originally supposed to be, just a short ficlet of Izuku walking up to Aizawa in the middle of a hallway and hugging him. And another will be longer, and from Aizawa's point of view, going to find Izuku and give him a hug, cause Izuku isn't in a healthy enough mental state to ask for one himself. So, I haven't started either of them, and I will mark this fic as "complete" just in case I never get to them, but... hopefully they'll come!!
Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this, and feel free to tell me what you thought in a comment!
Thanks for reading!