"I'm gonna be a horny bastard, believe it!"
The Shinobi's Guide to Accursed Heirlooms
Part Eight: Armageddon or Just Plain Hell
By Kaori
Naruto was utterly confused. One minute, he was standing in a storage room in the Hyuuga compound, the next he was standing in front of the seal gate staring at a very smug-looking Kyuubi. "What are you so happy about?"
"It's the end of the world!" was the gleeful reply.
"You always say that." Glared Naruto.
"This time I mean it." If anything the Kyuubi's smug look got bigger. "And it's all thanks to you. I must say, of all the people in the world to cause Armageddon I didn't think it would be you."
"WHAT!" the blonde was appropriately horrified.
"Well…maybe Armageddon is too strong a term for it." Mused the demon idly. "Hell on Earth is more accurate."
"Huh?" and he's back to being confused. "What do you mean "Hell on Earth?" Better still, what am I doing here?" The Kyuubi regarded him curiously.
"You really have no idea what you have just done, do you?"
"If I did would I bother asking you?"
Kyuubi looked at the human in front of him, blinked, and then did something he hadn't done in years; he laughed. Not a chuckle, snicker, or an amused snort but a full-on, rolling around gasping for breath laugh.
Meanwhile, Konoha was in a state of mayhem. Ururu had her male audience completely captivated with the sound of her voice and the female portion of the audience infuriated. To make matters worse whenever any of the women tried to grab the microphone away from her one of the men would attack them.
"Face it heifers, they don't want you anymore." Laughed Ururu. "After all, why settle for hamburger when you can have filet mignon?"
"Oh that is it!" yelled Sakura, leaping for Ururu's throat. "You're dead bitch!" The blonde smirked and simply stepped lightly out of the way .
"I see I'm going to have to make things a bit clearer for you…" a devilish smile played across her features before she brushed her hand lightly across Sakura's face. "You belong to me now…" she spun the girl around and slammed her palm into her forehead.
"Sakura!" cried Tenten and Ino.
Sakura staggered back, dazed and then let out a gasp. A mark in the shape of a broken heart appeared on her forehead and she knelt at Ururu's feet. "What is it you command, Ururu-sama?" The women onstage gasped in horror.
"What did you do to her?" demanded Ino. Ururu pretended to inspect her nails. "Answer me!"
"I just made her see things from my point of view is all. I made her see that she is, as are all of you, inferior to me and that her only option was to be my servant." Deadpanned the temptress.
"Give her back!" screamed Ino.
"Sakura…"
"As you wish, Ururu-sama." Nodded Sakura, intercepting Ino before she could attack Ururu and forcing the other blonde to her knees. "You will see Ino, things are better this way…"
The others onstage, not about to let Ururu have her way, made to attack."
"Why must you be so stubborn?' pouted Ururu. "Boys, restrain them."
"Anything for Ururu-chan!" The males declared as a unit, and immediately set upon the attacking women.
Neji staggered out of the Hyuuga Estate practically tripping over himself. He did not want to be anywhere near there when Hiashi found out someone had brought the curse of the Accursed Possessed Bra down on their heads. As he ran through the streets of Konoha, he noticed the distinct lack of people wandering about. "Where is everyone?" he wondered. "Byakugan…" Spotting a crowd near the Miss Konoha Kunoichi Pageant stage, he made his way there. What he saw made him even more determined to get out of dodge.
Some men and women were restraining several other women and hauling them towards a single, blonde, incredibly sexy woman. The strange woman would then touch the restrained person's forehead and they would become completely docile. The now subdued person would join the others in restraining the fighting women. Neji was very unnerved to see TenTen, Sakura, and Ino amongst those rounding up women. Knowing no good would come of getting caught Neji went to look for help.
Uchiha Sasuke, one of a handful of males who did not attend the festivities, was enjoying something that only comes about once every blue moon: a day without fangirls. This time he was not going to ruin it by opening mysterious packages with dubious return addresses. Unfortunately, he was about to learn that there were more horrifying things in this world than fangirls.
"Will you stop laughing and tell me what the hell is going on?" Naruto raged. The Kyuubi had been laughing at him for well over an hour now (in his reckoning, who knows how much time has really passed by) and it was really ticking him off.
"To put it simply you unleashed the Goddess of Lust and Jealousy on the world and now she's going to turn every human into her slaves."
"I don't remember doing that."
"I suppose I shall have to make it even more simple for your feeble mind." Snorted Kyuubi. "I'm not sure of the exact details but some time ago Ururu, Goddess of Lust and Jealousy was attempting to conquer the world and turn it into her playground. Why you humans thought this would be such a bad thing I don't understand; your free will in exchange for orgies every single day doesn't sound so bad to me…"
"Does this story have a point other than to highlight what a horny bastard you are?" glared Naruto.
"Shut up fool, I'm getting there."
"I'll bet you are…"
"Hmph, you have the nerve to chastise me when you're the one using innuendo as a comeback? And speaking of c…"
"Just get on with your story already!"
"Heheheh, anyway, somewhere along the line she was stopped and sealed away by a human; the object used was that bra you touched and by doing so, you've just opened up a very erotic can of worms..."
Yes this chapter is short, and I know you hate it but if I go any further with this chapter I'm going to have to change the rating (trust me, I have a very smutty scene in my head that I'd rather not write). Take heart because the next one is longer and full of Neji, Sasuke, and two others attempting to save the world! Also, we finally find out where Naruto is…