Pages from a Virgins Dairy, Integra Hellsing.
January 13 1998
Today there was a mission in the Subway, a host vampire had been attacking homeless people. The vampire was eradicated by Alucard. Alucard, I can't take it anymore, anymore of his 'charm' his—damn, My father would turn over in his grave if he found out that I was lusting for a vampire. Vampire. Such a dirty word, filthy, demon degrading beautiful word. What is wrong with me? What am I saying, I shouldn't be saying this, then again I'm not , I'm writing it, there's a difference I suppose, but I just can't stand it.
I don't know anymore, what am I supposed to do with these feelings? I can't possibly act on them. I try to forget but they plague my mind and everything around me.
Everywhere I look. He's there. Everywhere I go, he's there.
Everywhere.
I can't stand it.
These feelings of lust and sex….oh, god I want him so bad. I took a cold shower only a few minutes ago and it has done nothing to soothe these wanting feelings.
He knows I want him and he taunts me.
It's time for me to taunt him back.