Yay! Are y'all ready? I bet you are. My conclusion to イチャイチャタクティクス

First and foremost I'd like to thank all of my readers for their loyalty waiting for me to update, and their reviews to motivate me. I also like to thank anonymous readers and others for putting me on their alerts.

I would make a whole list but it's over 200 people. If you reviewed you know who you are.

I'd like to dedicate my last chapter to a few dear friends of mine who have listened to my ideas and helped me improve them.

Ardenilia (a great friend, check out her profile), Zambatuo (thanks for helping my out the time I locked my keys in my car), Tyrone (my dance partner), & Matt (my favorite critic).

Thank you all for reading and for thinking that my Lemons are hott & passionate love-making and not just meaningless fucking. If you didn't notice I put a lot of effort in trying to make each scenario different.

I'm going to answer all the questions everyone's been wondering:

What kind of advice does Sakura get from Hinata? What kind of ideas will Ayako give to the kunoichis? Why are these guys the luckiest in Konoha?

(You know me I'm full of surprises.)

I'm trying out something new. If you recognize the lyrics in the song, play it ASAP. It will enhance the mood. If you don't already have it in your mp3 collection go to Youtube and find it then minimize the window and keep reading. Okay that's all, back to the story.

Last time on イチャイチャタクティクス...

We are currently in present time, and an unexpected guest arrives to Club Go.

Under the black light, his spiky long white hair glows in a fluorescent blue. Clad in a long red vest with olive-gray pants and yukata underneath, Jiraiya approaches the ANBU members with a smile.

Naruto points at the super pervert. "ERO-SENNIN! WHAT DID YOU DO MY WIFE?"

Neji activates Byakugan as he grabs the Sannin by the vest, piercing him with his intense white eyes. "Where's Tenten?"

Using his Tōton Jutsu "Transparent Escape Technique", Jiraiya easily escapes his grasp and rest each of his arms behind Naruto and Neji.

"Well it is good to see you boys too! I'm feeling pretty generous today, how about if I get all of you guys another round of drinks?" The pervert's face beams with an 'up to no good' kind of grin.

Naruto spoke harshly at the old man. "Cheapskate, you never buy me anything! What the hell did you do this time?"

"I already told you that I was in a generous mood. Why don't all of you join me in the V.I.P. room?"

"Avoiding the question doesn't explain where Hinata is." Naruto brushes the frog tamer's hand off of his shoulder to grab the Shinobi Weekly off of the counter. He holds it up to Jiraiya's face.

The pervert smiles innocently. "Oh, that. They wanted to be challenged since they got bored training with each other. So I got them to enrolled in a friendly competition."

Naruto's claws tear into Jiraiya's shirt as he grabs him by the collar, slamming him into a nearby pillar. Kyuubi's chakra lights his eyes with a fiery red glow. The rest of the team take a step back as the ferocious fox reaches the point of no return.

"FRIENDLY COMPETITION MY ASS! You tricked them into this perverse tournament knowing that they have good men waiting to come home to them, you sick bastard! Hinata and Tenten would never sign up for something like that." He growls as he grits his teeth.

Before Naruto and Hinata were engaged, Kyuubi began to develop feelings of attachment to her. Which caused possessive, uncontrollable rages toward any man who let their lust glazed eyes wander or even address her informally. As time went by, the couple trained together to keep the fox under control; strengthening their love and trust.

Jiraiya gulps loudly as he stares into Kitsune's demonic red orbs. The old man stayed on his best behavior when Hinata was around him and Naruto. He even went as far as purifying his thoughts before stepping into the Uzumaki home. This time, he knew that he went too far.

Those eyes alone puts the fear of God into him. Flashbacks of his near death experience during the intense 2 ½ year training play in this mind. He acts quickly to place a chakra suppressing seal onto his shoulder. Naruto's eye color returns to a calm cerulean blue; yet, the hostility still coursed through his veins.

Although the claws retracted, the blonde maintains a firm grip on the collar. "What did you to Hinata?"

"Absolutely nothing. You should be asking what did she do to me." Jiraiya frowns as he glances downwards. "I couldn't write for days because of those two."

The fox brightly smiles. "Oh, what did you think would happen if you tampered with our fidelity? She not the type to sit around and not defend it."

Naruto pushes his former sensei into the pillar. "Now, where is she?"

"Hey, hey, hey. Relax, they're fine. They were having too much fun shopping in Enkou, they told me to go ahead and that they would catch up. Why don't you and the boys come upstairs with me for a drink?"

Once Naruto released him, Jiraiya peels himself off of the now indented pillar to straighten out. The others breathe out a sigh of relief as the blood thirsty tension is calmed, returning the atmosphere to a relaxing hang out one again.

"Fine. I want three more sake bombs."

The men follow Jiraiya up the stairs to the second floor while Naruto continues his interrogation.

"Since when did you decide to spend your money on someone other than barely legal girls?"

The snow-haired man smiles smugly. "We're celebrating the success of my writing. I'm almost finished with my lasted book. But most of all, I caught up with an old friend of mine and her company going to produce Icha Icha Takutikusu into a movie."

"Good job, Ero-Sennin. You've been holding that project off for far too long."

"Congratulations, Jiraiya-sama. So who is this friend of yours?" Sasuke asked.

They finally reach the V.I.P. room at the top of the of the staircase. Jiraiya unlocks the private room with the key that the manager handed him. Everyone walks inside the dim-lit room as the door shut behind them.

The shinobi take in the settings of the newly furnished room with shining onyx table tops and burgundy velvet cushions curving around the main focal point of the room which is draped by a black curtain waiting to reveal the contents.

Jiraiya answers Sasuke's question to draw attention away from it. "The one and only Karasu Rei."

The guys are taken by surprise, especially Neji. "Are you serious? Raven Rei? The porn star?"

"Of course I'm serious. I don't joke around when it comes to art. By the way, she's no longer an actress. Karasu-san is strictly a producer now."

"I'm surprised that you even heard of her Neji. I thought Temari and I were the only ones." Shikamaru commented.

"Are you kidding? She's the inspiration behind Mistress Tenten." Hyuuga's blood heated up from just imagining Tenten's breast spilling out of that vinyl corset.

Naruto reminisces about his movie collection. "Yeah, I remember. Legends of the Dark 2."

Sasuke nods in agreement. "That was a damn good movie. Sakura has a replica of Rei's naughty nurse outfit with the matching cap."

"Oh really?" Immoral thoughts of Sakura dressed in too short, skin-tight, white uniform and matching cap crossed through the pervert's mind.

'You're a lucky man Uchiha, in more ways than one.' Jiraiya's mouth salivates envisioning the events to come.

Naruto disrupts the lecher's daydream with his yelling. "Hey, Ero-Sennin! Where are those drinks you promised us?"

"Right, the drinks! That reminds me, hand over your mask. All of you." Jiraiya then places out his hand to collect them.

Naruto stares at his hand with distrust. "Why?"

"With all of these free drinks, one of you drunkards are bound to break it. Trust me on this one."

Tension builds as Naruto peers into those mischievous eyes of his.

"No mask, no sake. It's an even trade, You'll get it back when you're ready to leave."

The blonde fox removes the mask off the top of his head hesitantly. He actually does trust the old man, except with the 3 taboos of a ninja. "Be careful with it. It means a lot to me."

Shikamaru's instincts tell him that something is up. Yet, for some reason, there isn't any negative vibes behind it. "May I ask why you really need our masks for?"

"You'll see."

'Why does something troublesome happen every time I'm in this uniform?' Shikamaru mutters to himself.

Once the guys got over their suspicions, they handed over their signature masks. Jiraiya treated the gentlemen as promised, enjoying a pleasant conversation with them.

(Seating: Neji, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Naruto Jiraiya)

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Excitement overcomes Jiraiya, rushing to answer. "I'm coming!"

A shadowy figure whispers to the host to step outside for a moment. The two of them talk behind the closed door.

"Is everything ready?"

"Everything is on schedule, we'll wait on your cue to play the music Jiraiya-sama."

"Wait for me to leave, then we could talk."

The conversation ends quickly once he returns to take his last sip of sake.

"Gentlemen, I had a great time with all of you tonight. But before I leave, I'd like to give you a Welcome Home present."

'Present?'

Flashback to Merry-Time Tea House…

Ayako headed for the private dining room, rehearsing in her mind how she will approach her guests.

'Jiraiya's brilliant plan (Operation Wood) will definitely get his "life" back on track.'

"I do owe him one. After all, this place wouldn't be mine without his help."

She heard laughter as she approached the door. Knock. Knock. "You ladies doing alright? Can I get you anything else?"

Hinata smiled brightly. "No, thank you. Everything you prepared was delicious."

Temari recovered from her nausea and was also in good spirits.

"We're having such a great time, Ayako. We were just talking about how much we missed our men. See, they all went on a mission together and we're trying to plan something special for them when they get home."

Tenten added in. "But we wanna try something different and exciting. After we decide on our game plan, we're going home to get everything prepared."

A sudden thought crossed through Sakura's mind. "Wait a minute, Ayako do you think you could help us? Maybe your advice could get us through this."

"I could try." Ayako pulled an empty chair out of the corner and placed her seat in an open spot to get herself comfortable. "So what do you have in mind?"

"The reason why I'm asking you is because you used to make a living off of being sexy. I was wondering if you had any pointers to share?"

'I get it now, that pervert was eavesdropping on them. No wonder why he got me involved.' Ayako thought to herself before speaking aloud.

"Have you girls ever…(whisper) before?"

In response, each of the kunoichis replied "No." in their own way.

"Wait, you've been with your guys for a few years and you've never tried or thought about it even once? I'll tell you one thing, it's the best way to get your man's attention."

Each of the girls pondered on their past experiences.

"It's not that I've never thought about it, we all live on a really tight schedule. The shinobi lifestyle can get pretty hectic. Neji and I usually don't have time to think about new ideas together, we just get down to business."

"As for me, it's pretty rare that I could get Sasuke to sit there and let me take care of him."

"I could get Shika to lay back and relax, it's second nature to him. If he doesn't get his hands on me first, his Kage Ninpo will."

"Well, Naruto loves to watch and we try something new whenever we have the chance. I think your suggestion will be perfect for us to try out. "

"So are you ladies down with this new game plan? I'll teach your everything I know. It should be really easy since all of you are already toned and flexible."

Excited from the anticipation, the kunoichis agree to the plan.

"Where are we going to learn how to do this?" Temari asked.

"I have a practice room upstairs. But first we're heading for the Pink Boutique. They have the best attire for the occasion."

Ayako informed Kesshi of the situation and gave him a kiss before leaving. "I'll be back in an hour."

Hinata and Tenten looked at each other cautiously. "Fanboys." They themselves transformed into different people before they stepped out of the front door. The others laughed at the situation of the two girls being previously chased by sex-crazed fans.

Jiraiya smirked as he hid in his dark corner table. 'Perfect, absolutely perfect. I hope that she remembers to teach them my favorite move. That alone gives me something to write about.'

After picking out a daring new outfit and a couple of hours of practice later, the girls were ready to head back to Konoha. Hinata and Tenten had some last minute business to discuss with Jiraiya. Apparently (Operation Wood) was a success. Hinata will reverse the side effects of her Juken as promised if he did them a favor.

"Get us back into Konoha undetected and find out when the guys are coming back. I'll inform you of our other plans once that is accomplished. After that, you're free to go."

Just a few hours before sunset, they finally parted ways with Enkou City; promising to write Ayako the results of their practice session. She gave the some last minute pointers before their departure.

"Remember, make sure that he keeps his eyes on you the whole time. Adding props keeps it exciting. Constantly tease him until it's unbearable. Seductive choice of words enhances the play but don't talk too much, let your actions do the speaking for you. Last but not least, tonight kill him with kindness. Since he's already yours, spoil him rotten. Make him feel like he's the king of the world."

I was planning to make this update 20 pages long but I didn't want to cause anyone eye strain. I knew ya'll were worried that I forgot about this but I didn't. I will send out the other half ASAP.