Confidence
Harry rolled over sleepily in his cupboard, dreaming that he was lying on something warm and soft and not his bumpy cot. He didn't ever want to wake up. However, he knew that if he didn't get out of his makeshift bed soon, Aunt Petunia would startle him awake with her shrill voice. And he knew, just knew that he would hit his head on the ceiling of his cupboard.
It really was too small for him.
He sighed heavily and cautiously opened his eyes.
He blinked.
White. White everywhere. Was he in some kind of institution?
"Oh, I see you've finally woken up, Mr. Potter. How are you feeling?"
Harry looked into the kind face in front of him, and blinked again.
"I little disoriented, I think."
Someone else entered the room. Old. Long beard…
Dumbledore.
Oh.
"Well, of course you're confused, my dear boy! Our Madame Pomfrey managed to heal all your injuries. That would take quite a bit of energy out of the both of you!"
Dumbledore was practically beaming. It was almost cute, in an annoying sort of way.
"Um, right." The boy smiled weakly. Madame Pomfrey. He knew she had looked familiar. He glanced back over at the concerned woman. That's right, he remembered now. She was utterly infuriating. Just wouldn't leave him alone. Everything he hated about doctors. Made him glad Dumbldore had come in.
His smile became shy. "I-I'm feeling a little better. Thanks, Madame Pomfrey. I'm sorry you had to spend so much time on me."
The school nurse's face softened, she looked like she was going to say something, until--
"Nonsense! Severus told me about your slight self-esteem issues, but I must say I didn't believe him in the slightest until this very moment. You really must try not to feel this way, child, you're quite an extraordinary person in your own right! We should have a talk one of these days, don't you think?"
--the Headmaster cut in.
Oh. My. God.
"I'd like that, Professor."
His self-esteem issues? Severus had told him that?
And, really, who did the patronizing git think he was?
Dumbledore had just lost all the points he'd gained interrupting the Nurse-Nazi. Harry did not need a shrink, thank you very much.
Sever-Professor Snape was even worse.
He had trusted the man. Severus had betrayed that trust.
It was that simple.
He barely registered both Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey leaving, mumbling things like "be seeing you shortly" and "have a chat soon" and "check on you in another half-hour."
A small corner of his mind pointed out that he was over-reacting. That voice was easily ignored. Harry sat up, fury building.
The door to the room opened again.
The boy grasped the glass of water on the table next to his bed, intending to take a drink. He stared down into the cup determinedly.
Bastard. Slimy, stupid, rumor-spreading bastard. No self-esteem? He'd show them self-esteem. Confidence. Whatever. He'd--
The glass exploded. The sharp shattered shards avoided Harry and sought out Severus. Harry raised startled, stricken eyes to the Professor.
"No!" He concentrated hard, focusing on stopping the broken--and possibly lethal--bits of glass.
He heaved a sigh of relief as they froze in place and then dropped to the ground.
He turned his still angry expression on the shocked Professor Snape.
"This doesn't mean that I'm not still angry at you, you know. Just that I don't want you to die a horrible painful death."
He considered. "Maybe no death at all. I haven't decided yet." Harry glared--slightly petulantly--at Severus.
"Y-you…" The Professor took a deep breath.
"What?" Harry questioned irritably, tired from the magical exertion in his already weakened state.
Severus took a step toward him. "How did you do that?"
"Do…what?"
"Do not play with me, Harry. I'm not in the mood for games. Tell me how you did that."
"I don't understand." Harry was confused. He wasn't playing. It was kind of insulting that Severus assumed he was. He wasn't that manipulative. What was the Professor talking about?
"Don't you? You--" The Professor took a menacing step closer, looking down on the boy's genuinely bemused face. Still, Harry didn't feel threatened, and, really, how strange was that?
Severus' expression altered slightly. "You don't know what I'm talking about." He sounded surprised.
Harry's anger returned to him. "No, really? I could have told you that. Oh, wait--I did."
He flopped sullenly back down on the bed and gasped indignantly when he heard a snort of muffled laughter.
Bastard.
He closed his eyes tightly when he heard the rustle of Severus' robes when the man moved closer to the bed.
"I'm sorry."
"Well, good."
Harry grinned inwardly at the frustrated growl.
"May I ask what prompted that attempt on my life?"
"I wasn't trying to kill you. I was just--angry at you."
"Yes, I had gathered that. Why?"
"You told Dumbledore that I didn't have any confidence." Harry was uncomfortably aware that he was close to whining. He hated it when people whined. He sighed.
Severus sounded like he was choking. Harry frowned. What was wrong with the man?
"I told him--I told him that you didn't seem to think much of yourself and that you wouldn't like it if he bombarded you with talk about being the Savior of the Wizarding World." There was a pause. "I trust Albus, Harry."
"I don't." It was said bleakly, decisively.
"Yes, I'm beginning to realize that."
Awkward silence. Hate that, really do. What's the difference between an awkward silence and a comfortable silence? How could you tell which the other person was feeling?
"How did you manage to…manipulate the glass without a wand?" Harry started at Severus' soft voice.
"We use wands? Oh…you mean that stick thingy you used on Mr. Trentin."
The Professor's lips twitched. "Yes, the 'stick thingy' I used to Obliviate Mr. Trentin."
"Oh. Um, right, I just concentrated. It's not like it's hard. Or, well, it is hard, but I don't really get too many chances to practice, and I'm still just a kid. I'm sure I'll be able to do things much more easily and faster when I'm older." He shivered. "I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop the glass in time."
Silence.
Harry thought for a minute, and then his eyes widened in horror. "Oh! I-I didn't mean to …explode--I mean, blow up--break that glass. It just happened." He didn't want Severus to think that he had purposefully…
"I didn't think that you had, Harry. Most wizarding children have the ability to do something called accidental magic. However, very few can tap into that power intentionally, as you did."
"Oh. So we learn that in school? Hey, maybe I won't be that far behind after all." Harry beamed brightly. He had worried that since he was so ignorant of the wizarding world, he would be behind in all his classes. And really, memorizing textbooks could only do so much.
"No, Harry. We don't teach wandless magic at Hogwarts."
"Why not? How do we learn it then?"
"You don't. Most children don't. It's never been a concern. Some especially powerful adult individuals, such as Professor Dumbledore--and to a much lesser extent, myself--manage to harness some small wandless magic with a great deal of time and effort. For example, I could make a light, or close a door. And even that much leaves me quite exhausted."
"Oh."
Harry gathered his thoughts.
"So…what does that--mean?"
Severus gave the boy a reassuring smile. "It means that you are truly an extraordinary young man."
Harry shook his head. "No, I meant--should I tell people? Are you going to tell people about--about me? Are you going to tell Dumbledore?"
This was it. Everything hinged on this. Severus had better say no, or he'd…he'd do something bad. A lot.
"That has to be your decision, Harry. Do you want me to tell…people?" Snape raised an eyebrow.
Harry grinned. That was a good response. "No. I think I'm gonna keep this to myself for a while."
"I must say, Mr. Potter, that is quite Slytherin of you."
"Well," Harry's smile widened, "Somebody once told me I'd make a good Slytherin."
"Yes, well, 'somebody' has a few questions he'd like to ask you, although perhaps the manor would be a better place for that."
"The manor?"
"My home. Your home too, I suppose. If you want it to be."
"Would you…mind?"
"At first, yes, probably quite a lot. I was never very good at sharing when I didn't have to. But I like you. And the house elves would be ecstatic to have a child in the house once again."
"Thought I was a 'young man?'"
"I was being diplomatic."
"Right."
"After a while, I'm sure I wouldn't be too terribly put out at having a permanent houseguest." The Professor sent a quick, hesitant glance toward Harry, and then looked down at his hands.
Harry replayed the conversation in his head.
"You know, you could have just said, 'I don't mind.'"
"But I do. That's the point. You should know that I do mind, and I want you there anyway."
"That's…actually kind of sweet."
"What? No it isn't. I'm never sweet. I'm terrifying, and evil, and sometimes even vampiric."
Harry laughed. "Riiiiiight. Evil-swoopy-bat-guy. Got it."
"Insolent child."
Harry giggled.
Snape mock-snarled, and swept out of the room, pausing briefly at the door.
"We leave tonight at seven. Poppy wants to do another examination, or we'd leave sooner. Go. Explore the castle. Bother a portrait, or Peeves, or something. Dinner is at five-thirty tonight. Don't be late."
And then he was gone.
End Chapter 16
Okay, hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out a little sooner, as exams are finally over. For me, at least. *gloating grin*
Harry might seem a little bold in that chapter, but if you read carefully, there's a part where he says he doesn't feel threatened by Severus. He's nice and comfy with our Sevvie, kay? That doesn't mean he's okay with other people. And, he's got a pretty failsafe 'instinct' system, which really helps him know how far he can push.
Yeah. So, they're leaving for the manor tonight. I was gonna have that happen this chapter, y'know, in the morning, but I thought that might be too sudden. This'll give him one more day to work the castle people. *eg*
Parselmouth talk should be happening soon. I haven't decided if I want that after Diagon Alley, or before it. What do you think?
Oh, and my ten chapter squish ended up being my five chapter squish. To clarify this a little, this doesn't mean I'm adding an extra long new chapter. It means I'm replacing the first five chapters with one long page that contains them all. Review responses will be taken off these pages, as I'm assuming you read them a long time ago.
Everyone who reviewed? I love you. Like, a lot a lot. It's almost an obsession. Is that healthy? :)
To: Rachel A.Prongs-I know, I've been thinking about doing a Dudley follow up once this is over. Like, what if Dudley's kid is a wizard? *g* I dunno. // Ron and Harry aren't going to be enemies. And, I like Ron. The thing is, his pet peeves? Darkness, other people with power and/or fame, rich people, Slytherins, Malfoys, and Snape. All things Harry either is, or is friendly with. So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with him. Only things I know for sure are: 1.) Ron is going to be a Gryffindor, and 2.) He and Harry won't be enemies. Suggestions are always welcome. // About Malfoy--sorry, but I gotta keep him. I like him, for one thing. Plus, it's gonna be a challenge to keep him in character and still make him…likable. And to make the cause of his snottiness as original as I can. Also--this is my first fic. I'm not really up to making my own characters, even if it's someone like Pansy or Blaise. I'm not sure I could.
To: Ms. Padfoot-I'm sorry about the updating lately. I've been sort of slacking off. Hopefully I'll have more time to write over the summer. // I wanted to kinda show what Sev has been feeling, to explain some of the OOC things he's done. To make them less OOC. Hopefully I did okay w/that. *shy grin* // I'm glad you liked it. I thought up the 'List,' and loved the idea--and then I realized that Sev would never do something like that. So I had to make him drunk. :) // At first, I thought of Dudley sort of like both of Cinderella's stepsisters wrapped into one body, and then I read a few Dudley redemption stories (omg, there's this one that involves Harry, Snape, Dudley, and the Tower of London that's just stomach-ache inducingly breathtaking), and I couldn't think that way anymore. *pouts* // Yeah, Sev is one of my favorite characters too. I just hope I don't make him too nice.
To: arcee-Thanks. The abuse theory isn't mine, though. I got it from a couple of other authors.
To: Ian-lol. I did think of making Hermione a Slytherin--and then realized that it would be totally out of character. She's either going to be a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw. And if she's a Ravenclaw, it'll be because something changed on that train ride to Hogwarts. // And, um, Harry, and Hermione are 11. :) There isn't going to be any romance in this little fic. At least, not between the kids. 'Sides, I firmly believe that Harry is gay. *eg*
To: shadow4284-No, the ten (now five) chapter squish doesn't mean longer chapters. It means I'm going to be replacing the first five chapters with one page that encompasses them all. // Hmm…a missing person report…there's an idea…;) // Thanks, I like the list too. *g*
To: BekaJWP-Happy you laughed. That's a big thing for me. It never, ever happens in real life. *g* // Glad you thought that Sev was in character.
To: npetrenko-Thanks, I will!
To: Lady FoxFire-lol. I felt bad about it after I wrote it.
To: john-Thanks. Actually, I don't think Harry's going to be introduced to the staff…wait--I could bring them back to the school a few weeks early…could be fun…:)
To: Mikee-Dursley reaction--hmm…maybe they could see Harry in London, or something, and blame him for everything? Something to think about… // Yep, Sev's gonna be the Daddy. Accept the role? Whet, he has a choice? *g* // Um, yeah, he's gonna stay with Sevvie over the summer, but I think they're both gonna stay at the school for the holidays.
To: fyre- I love your reviews. They always make me think. Do you beta? :) // I'm glad you liked the Dursley thing. I originally had them doing a 'feel his pain' thing, but then I thought of this, and liked it better. // Do you mind if I use that Harry finding the 'List' thing? 'Cause that would be hilarious. // Okay, Draco is a bigot. I never meant to imply that he wasn't. *g* He's definitely very prejudiced about muggleborns, non-purebloods, certain wizarding families, and (at least in this story) Light wizards. In my opinion, all bigotry is learned. I completely agree with you there. And, hey! I like Ron, okay? :) // Yeah, I think I'm gonna have problems with the Draco characterization, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there, y'know? And that won't be for at least one chapter. // I was thinking about having a 'I can get better grades than you' Harry and Hermione thing, at least in the beginning. But, with his new Slytherin attitude, I think Harry's gonna want to be friends with her because she's so smart. So…we'll see, I guess. // And, I don't mind the 'ranting' at all. I do the same thing. Not with fanfic, but with other things.
To: azntgr01-Thanks. I felt bad about the Dudley thing after I wrote it…
To: candledot-I'm glad you like him, and the revenge too. I was a little worried about what the response to it was gonna be. :)
To: poisonus plants-lol. Suuuure. And, I will. *g*
To: Midnight-Kisses-Thanks, I hope you like this one, too.
To: MJ-Well, Snape doesn't tell Dumbledore everything. He's going to respect Harry's wishes about who to tell. Y'know, unless I decide otherwise. :)
To: Lirael-I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about Hermione. She might be friends with Harry, she might not. All I know about harry's friends is that Draco is one of them. All suggestions are very much appreciated. :) // And, I don't know. What's a 'land-locked fic?' Never heard that term before. *g*