Chapter 1
Her flesh was smooth as she slowly brushed her finger over the top of her wrist. She was starting to go crazy with all her thoughts going through her head. Sarah was just starting her freshman year at place that she never wanted to be. High school was the last thing she wanted. The year before was the most pain she had ever suffered in her existence of fifteen years. All the words coming from the other kid's mouths and slowly getting absorbed into her mind, just to later repeat its self that night. And when her mind went racing she couldn't be responsible for what it made her do.
Sarah went off to school like a normal day. She listened to her music screaming thoughts of hate into her ears, ringing like the bells she would soon here during that day. Sarah was always alone, so when she walked up the stairs to her locker she never expected anyone to come with her. When going to her locker every morning she could hear the people screaming to her from down the hall. Her thoughts would start racing again with thoughts of the past. All she could think was please, please not again.
Sarah in the past months had taken up a nightmarish hobby. She had scars from every time she disciplined her self for a stupid mistake she had made. She thought they were the ugliest things but she couldn't life without them. What else would help her deal with the pain? What would help her through her life? She didn't know and didn't want to know.
Now looking at wrists the scars had faded, but the memories wouldn't go away. They were taunting her like visitors at a freak side show. Her heart wanted everything to end and go in reverse so that she had been the person everyone thought she was. But that couldn't happen. She never wanted to break the flesh, but then again she strangely loved it. She loved the feeling of pain of skin curling back at the sight of the razor. She wanted the slow tearing to run through her head to keep other thoughts out. But when it was over and the blood started to flow and every thing from the last two years came back to her in and instant. All the places, people, and words all back in her mind. All she could do was cry. Cry out her pain. Her pain from the people and stream of blood slowly coming out of her veins. She would sit and stare out the window at the world she wanted to belong to. To be happy and have no fear. But she knew it was crazy, she could never have any of that.
Sarah awoke to a noise that was all too familiar. Her parents seldom got along and they would always bring her into their fights. It was almost always about something she did wrong. She knew her life was never normal, but she could never figure out why. While getting ready to leave the house she felt the skin under her bracelets. She felt ridges of the paved road on her wrist. The long bumpy cuts were all she could think about for the rest of the day. She hid them in fear of showing the people she feared the real her.
Sarah was in her school routine. She went to her locker and then sat outside the closed door of her homeroom until it opened. People never noticed her; they walked by as if no one was there. Someone did notice her this day, but it wasn't her they noticed, it was the scar peaking from under her bracelets. She tried to hide it before he could see more, but he had seen all he needed to. He had solid proof of the real her, the person she was trying to hid. She was afraid he would tell someone about her but he never did. It was their secret and no one would find out for a while.