Loss
A/N: I'm sorry it's another post Twilight story, but every time I think of Kibbs, I'm sad again. And considering Gibbs' reactions in Kill Ari, I imagine that is what he feels. I actually had something completely different in mind when I first thought of the topic I wrote about, but now that's what came out.
Loss
The memories come mostly at night.
At night, when he can't sleep, not due to caffein, but to the demons that are haunting him.
He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep. The only thing that keeps him from breaking down during the day is the knowledge he will have another night to remember her.
Images slowly creep into his mind.
He sands them away, like he does with all his problems.
Working on his boat gives him peace, and peace is all he needs now.
Silence fills his basement as he applies the lacquer.
Silence also fills his heart. He can't feel anything; he can't feel satisfaction with a solved case anymore; he can't feel the rush of adrenaline while in the line of fire. All he is able to feel is pain. The indescribable pain of loss.
Tonight is a special night.
With the last stroke of the brush, he smiles for the first time since that horrible day he lost her. His beloved boat is finally finished.
Knowing he cannot gat it out of the basement alone, he has asked his team to help him. He knows they won't ask.
And they don't. Nobody is surprised by the name they find painted on the side of the boat.
They miss her too, but he is the one who misses her most, and they all know that.
FIN