Hiyori woke up to the silence and stillness of her apartment. The sun shone through the edges of her closed curtains.
Guilt and remorse swelled in her heart.
They were never together. So why did it feel like she had gone through some terrible break-up?
Hiyori sat up and gently combed her fingers through her hair, her senses coming back to her upon waking. Her eyes glazed over with remembrance of the night before.
"It's just us…"
Those words pierced the tough surface of her heart and ran deep through her veins.
He was right.
Of course, it had always been about him and Yukine. But there were the memories - the moments in-between other interactions - where they would catch each other's gaze, and the world slipped away for a quiet minute. And the rare, beautiful moments where they held each other in their arms. Nothing else mattered.
It was always them. It was always them against the world - both worlds -- the universe.
So why was she suddenly wrecking the walls around them?
Especially recently, she and Yato had become even more. Something was pulling them tighter together; something intangible, yet powerful.
Hiyori released a heavy sigh. She turned to see her clock projecting the time in large red numbers. It was 9 AM.
She didn't have classes today, and as comforting as the thought of lying in her bed for another half an hour in self pity seemed, the brunette knew she had to meet Yama at the train station.
They were both returning home for the weekend to visit her friends and family, and - of course - reunite with Ami.
Her Far Shore friends knew too. They all practically jumped at the opportunity to see each other now that she would be within walking distance of the shrine. Although, Hiyori was questioning it now that she was on rocky grounds with Yato.
Hiyori attempted to forget it all, but the crushing reminders of him were everywhere. His picture was framed by her nightstand when she turned on the light, his soap was in her shower while she bathed, his clothes in her wardrobe when she decided on an outfit for the day, and his snacks in her cupboards when she searched for a small breakfast before heading out.
The half-Phantom found nothing satisfying. Disheartened, she closed the door, giving up.
She could just stop at the convenience store around the corner.
She stood for a second, fully dressed and prepared to head out. She fished her phone out of one of her packed bags.
The brunette scrolled through her contacts in search of her friend's name.
'Yama'
Her finger was halfway to her screen when her eyes caught sight of the contact name directly underneath. She froze.
'Yato'
That was when Hiyori caught herself entranced by her thoughts again. She shook her head, shooing away the string of negative thoughts bound to stir up once more.
It was inevitable. He was everywhere.
Hiyori tapped Yama's name, beginning to type out her message.
'I'm leaving now. I'll meet you there soon!'
With that, Hiyori ventured on. She double-checked all her respectful belongings were with her and locked her apartment behind her.
She shivered as she headed towards the convenience store, the breeze biting all her exposed skin on her body.
Maybe she should've packed an extra sweater.
The bell above the door sounded at her entrance. Hiyori turned to find the fridges with fresh beverages just down the aisle.
She stood before the glass doors, deciding what to choose.
Which one did Yama like again?
The brunette stepped backwards to see and assess all her options. However, in doing so, she nearly bumped into a stranger passing by. His shoulder brushed up against hers as he went, paying no mind to her.
A hand came up to grab herself there where she felt his contact. She peered over her shoulder from the direction he came, only to be met with a wide, empty aisle before her. Hiyori's other hand came up to the other arm, holding herself insecurely.
She was suddenly reminded of how alone she was. No one was standing beside her; no one to turn to.
She was by herself in public. She felt bare, exposed, vulnerable.
Could people tell? Was it obvious how weak she felt?
Hiyori needed the reassurance and security of someone else. She needed a man.
To have him always standing not too far away; to have him press his body against her backside and whisper words of reassurance in her ear; to have him to surrender herself and her defenses to.
Hiyori felt the heat in her face. A nice thrill suddenly passed through her. Her knees came together, closing her legs.
Yato…
The half-Phantom shook her head, attempting to rid herself of those thoughts.
Where was all that coming from so suddenly?
Just last night, she had turned him away. And now, she was entertaining the idea of him again.
Hiyori groaned. She wished she could make up her mind.
She reached for the fridge handle and found some drinks.
Upon realizing her train would be leaving soon, Hiyori hurried to the station, gripping her bag with her as she went. She was nearly out of breath once she reached it, but was grateful to find her best friend waiting at the terminal.
The blonde lifted her head from her phone, finding Hiyori dashing towards her. Her eyes lit with recognition, and her face brightened.
"Ahh - there you are!" She called from afar. "I was worried you'd miss it!"
The brunette only stopped when she was within four feet of her friend. She bent over to grab her knees, gasping for air.
"I know - I'm sorry!" Hiyori defended, dropping her bag at her feet. "I stopped at the corner store on my way."
"It better have been for a good cause," Yama teased, and she was not expecting the pink lemonade can her friend then handed her.
The brunette grinned. "Of course!"
The blonde's eyes glistened with joy. "Ahh! Now you're speaking my language!"
The two shared a laugh, cracking open their beverages. She was quite parched now after all that running.
Their train arrived on time, and they both boarded. They found seats by the doors and chatted for a few minutes.
Within fifteen minutes, Hiyori found her body swaying with the train's movement. Her body was being lulled to sleep - and considering her lack of sleep the night before - she was powerless to stop it.
She awoke to the sound of her friend's voice and a gentle hand against her shoulder.
"...yori? Hiyori?"
Hiyori blinked, her eyes blurry from her brief nap. She noticed Yama beaming at her.
"Our stop is next!" She declared.
The brunette glanced around, scanning her surroundings.
"Ah, right," she mumbled, still slightly gripped by sleep.
She flexed her hands in front of her, feeling them.
Hiyori was silently grateful that her soul hadn't slipped out during her slumber.
She remembered when she was just fifteen, unable to hold her eyes open, wondering when her next snooze attack would be.
Now, after all those years of having been able to figure out the trick to it, Hiyori didn't have to worry so much about her sleeping accidentally turning into another Phantom awakening.
Still, when she went long periods of time without doing so (sometimes unintentionally), her body gave in for her, and the half-Phantom slipped out. She didn't mind it much. There was a strange nostalgic feeling to it. It reminded her she was still young, and - in a world where she constantly found herself caught up in her new adult responsibilities - she needed that reminder.
Nothing mattered because no one else could interrupt her when she was leaping against power lines and into the clouds. There was no judgment when no one else could see or hear her.
Hiyori sighed and slumped back into her seat.
She was due for a therapeutic half-Phantom venture.
The train screeched and slowed to a complete stop. Even before the doors opened, she caught sight of her brother waiting outside for her.
. . . .
Yama waved off the siblings as they disappeared around the corner.
"See ya later, Hiyori! Nice seeing you again, Masaomi!"
The two waved and smiled in return. They both fell into a comfortable silence until the oldest spoke.
"How's Yato-san and Yukine-kun been?" Masaomi had asked not long after they were leaving Yama's house.
Hiyori blinked, surprised.
She didn't think he even remembered them. Then again, the last time he saw them was when Yato and Yukine were helping her move into her apartment.
She was more taken aback by the change in conversation.
"Um-" Hiyori didn't know how to respond, "they're good."
She didn't offer anything other than that. Her brother cocked an eyebrow suspiciously at her. She caught his look from the corner of her eye, turning her head to blink at him curiously.
"W-what?" She asked, defenseless.
"I just assumed you would have more to say about such close friends. Have you seen them lately?"
She bit her lip, hesitating. The girl stared at the sidewalk where they were walking. Soon, after collecting her thoughts, she spoke.
"They invited me over last night, but I didn't go. He came to check on me, and I…" her fingers nervously fidgeted with the strap on her bag, "-kicked him out."
Masaomi's face stretched into slight shock. Such aggressive behavior was unusual of his sister.
"Ouch!" He replied in mock pain.
That only made her recoil further in on herself. Her guilt was eating her alive again.
Yato must've been crushed.
"Did something happen?" He asked, taking a bit of curiosity on the matter. "Why'd you make him leave?"
Another question Hiyori didn't know the answer to.
"Well-... no, not exactly..." Her gaze drifted.
"Then… what?"
Why did she suddenly feel like she was under interrogation?
She couldn't confess such things to her brother. He didn't want to know about his younger sister's intimate relationship and sexual feelings. The mere thought made Hiyori shiver in discomfort.
After a prolonged silence, he spoke for her.
"You have feelings for him. Don't you?"
"Wha-?!" She suddenly came to a halt, visibly taken aback by his statement. Her face went red.
First, Yato's father. Then, Kazuma-san and Tenjin-sama. Now, her brother. Did everyone really know?
Masaomi snickered to himself. "You don't need to answer - your journal speaks for itself."
Hiyori's face drained of color, and she nearly choked on air. "You read my journal?!"
She'd totally forgotten about that notebook; all the notes, stories and dates she had written about her Far Shore life - all its adventures, friends and feelings were in that damn journal. That was only meant for her to see, in case she forgot about them. (Again.)
Hiyori hadn't touched - or so much as written in - that journal since the beginning of senior year of high school. She'd discontinued it shortly after deciding to pursue something much more practical and enticing - Yato.
Maybe it was a good thing she did, seeing as her brother might've stumbled across a page or two about her new, personal relationship with the god of calamity. He definitely didn't need to know of such things.
The easiest pill for Masaomi to swallow was the one he was presenting towards her. So, Hiyori played along.
It wasn't untrue that she loved Yato anyway.
She felt heat rush to her cheeks, shying away. Masaomi took that as a "yes."
"Then I guess you'll have to go make it up to him tonight."
"Not tonight - I'll be with Yama-chan and Ami-chan," she replied.
"So go tomorrow."
"I-I don't know…" Hiyori didn't sound entirely convinced.
The brother sighed. Why was she making this so difficult?
He stepped in front of his sister's path, making sure she was focusing on him for what he was about to say.
"Hiyori," he began.
Whatever playful or lighthearted atmosphere they had before was suddenly stolen by the stern expression on her brother's face. It was impossible to look away now.
"You can try to push it off as much as you want-" he continued, "but the longer you wait, the more you sabotage your relationship with him."
Hiyori groaned. She hated when he was right.
"Whatever the reason might be for your rough patch with Yato-san, you should go see him while you're back in town. You can try talking to him."
Hiyori cringed.
It wasn't as if she hadn't already considered the idea. Truthfully, she was trying to shove that thought down to avoid the inevitable awkwardness she and Yato would share next time they were together.
Or maybe she was trying to avoid the suppressed emotions it would stir up if she finally accepted him again.
What if it was true that gods couldn't love humans? What if Yato wasn't actually different from the rest like she thought? What if he completely shut her down, humiliated her? What if their amazing friendship was over? What if he wanted to cut their ties?
What if it wasn't true? What if Yato really did share the same feelings like she thought? What if things progressed even further? What would everyone think?
Was there a way to avoid either of those scenarios?
And yet, as her brother had voiced that same idea aloud, Hiyori realized it was her best and only option.
"Don't push him away, Hiyori. Open yourself up, let him in. Are you just afraid of rejection, and what other people might think?"
Hiyori found herself gaping at him in disbelief once again. There was no way he was predicting all her thoughts.
"H-how did you-?"
He only laughed at her reaction. "You're just an open book," he teased.
"And so is my journal, apparently…!" The girl mumbled under her breath.
He chuckled at her joke, and Hiyori rolled her eyes, brushing it off.
There was another quiet moment before Hiyori's worries got to her again.
"You're…- not mad?" She asked nervously.
Masaomi blinked in bewilderment. "What do you mean - what would I be mad at?"
Hiyori felt her stomach turn a bit. "I-I don't know…," she mumbled. "Just because he's 'weird,' or 'not worth it', or something?"
"Hmm…" he hummed, taking a minute to digest that. "Do you like his 'weirdness?'"
It was her turn to think.
His odd antics and strange behavior was quite entertaining, even sometimes in moments of seriousness. And his fashion sense was horrid. But it was quite attractive how well he owned both qualities of himself.
A small smile crept up on her face. Hiyori nodded.
"Do you think he's 'worth it?'" He continued.
He was worth risking her life for a bus. He was worth earning his Blessed Vessel. He was worth receiving his first shrine. He was worth rescuing from the dark depths of the underworld. He was worth escaping his father's abusive grasp. He was worth her.
He was worth everything.
Hiyori nodded again. She wiped a tear from her eye before he could see it.
The brother grinned back. "We don't get to choose who we fall in love with, Hiyori. Even if it was a choice, it wouldn't be mine. The only decision you can make is taking the next step - that's up to you. Whatever happens, just be careful."
His sister's stride slowed, and suddenly she was staring up at him with teary eyes. Before he could respond, she flung her arms around him in a tight, appreciative hug.
"Thank you, Onii-chan!"
Masaomi felt some heat rush to his cheeks. He calmed down and wrapped his arms around her in return. "Of course…"
. . . .
The sun about to set, casting the city in a warm golden light. The three shared excited hugs together before finding a booth by the diner window.
"I know it's only been a month since classes started, but how's school for you?" Yama asked with a wide smile.
"It's been pretty easy to keep up actually, and I've already befriended some girls in my dorm. By the way, I still don't forgive you for leaving me for Hiyori!" Ami stated, playfully elbowing the blonde girl's shoulder beside her.
Yama rolled her eyes and scoffed to herself. "Yeah, yeah! I knew that was coming."
Hiyori chuckled, nervous sweat running down her forehead. "I had nothing to do with that!" She frantically waved her hands in front of her, defending herself.
"It's totally fine, Hiyori," the girl with glasses grinned warmly. "I know how spontaneous Yama can be."
Both eyes were on Yama, who only seemed flattered by that remark. They all giggled.
"Besides," Ami started again once their laughter died down, "I have my boyfriend to keep me company now," she flaunted.
"No offense, Ami," the blonde interrupted, "but I'm more interested in this boyfriend that Hiyori has!"
Ami lit up with enthusiasm at the news. Yama smirked deviously in response.
If Hiyori had five yen for every time she was thrown under a bus, she would now have ten yen.
Her friends' eyes were all on her now. Their gaze was imploring, intrigued to know more. They practically leaned over the table.
What did she ever do to deserve such a cruel punishment?
The brunette immediately tensed, feeling her face get hot with embarrassment. Her pink eyes faltered, suddenly finding the menu and lifting it in front of her face. She peered at them over the top of it as she anxiously flipped it open.
"L-let's see - I wonder if the mango chicken is good here…"
Ami leaned in to let Yama whisper something in her ear, but Hiyori could hear through the hand Yama was using to cover her mouth.
"Apparently, she's been keeping it a secret since high school…!"
Hiyori nearly choked on air, slapping the menu flat on the table again.
"I-it's not like that!" She explained through a red face. "I just didn't think he was worth mentioning…"
It wasn't as if they would remember him anyway…
"You've got a boyfriend too?!" Ami gaped in surprise.
The half-Phantom shrunk back into her seat, laughing weakly. "W-well, I don't know if I'd say that…"
She may have just destroyed her chances with that before it even started. Especially after what happened last night.
Guilt nibbled at her insides again.
"Do you have a picture of him?" The black-haired girl asked eagerly.
"Oh - this I gotta see!" Yama chimed in, thrilled.
Did memory account for photos and videos? Would the chances be higher of their ability to remember?
Hiyori reached for her phone in her pocket and unlocked it. Her cheeks felt even hotter now as she searched through her phone. She stopped when she came across a specific picture, one of him just outside Kofuku's shrine.
She remembered taking this picture just two months ago when the summer sun was hot, and they were celebrating her graduation together.
He was beaming, at her, behind the phone. He was posing, winking and flashing a bright smile, holding two fingers out against his forehead in a silly salute. His dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, his bangs attractively hung over his face, and the only open eye was striking through with incredibly-vivid blueness. He had not been wearing his jersey or scarf that day, as it was too warm, and instead kept the plain white T-shirt.
She only realized she had been staring for too long when Yama interrupted her thoughts.
"Well?" Her friend broke the silence. "Judging by that grin plastered across your face, I'd say he's totally hot?"
The redness in Hiyori's face was her new natural complexion.
Yato definitely wasn't ugly, but he also wasn't like any boy - or man - that Hiyori had ever seen. Maybe the charm and good looks came from his godhood.
Hiyori hesitated, but turned her phone so her friends could see the screen.
Yama nearly choked on her water. "Holy cow!" She declared in shock once she recovered.
Ami had to adjust her glasses to make sure she was seeing correctly. "Where and how did you score that?"
The brunette grinned weakly, withdrawing her phone. She didn't expect such a positive reaction.
Suddenly, she was feeling a bit more confident in herself.
"He definitely didn't go to our school! I would've noticed him in the halls, for sure!" The blonde exclaimed.
"Where did you meet him?" Ami asked curiously.
"Um." Hiyori held back a laugh, knowing they had been there that day without even realizing. "We passed each other on the street…"
"Damn!" Yama cursed herself. "I gotta get out more…"
Ami rolled her eyes and elbowed her again. "So then, if you've known each other for so long, why haven't you asked him out yet?"
Hiyori opened her mouth to answer, but Yama was faster.
"These things are never easy, Ami! Love is scary sometimes!"
Love. What a beautiful word.
And it was the emotion she was precisely feeling.
Hiyori's heart fluttered.
"Just let us know if you need any advice, Hiyori!"
Hiyori's cheeks were pink as she smirked and nodded. "Thanks, Yama-chan."
Then Yama leaned over the table towards her and covered her mouth, as if she was allowing Hiyori in on some top secret operation.
"But since I'm the expert here, come to me first," she whispered to the brunette.
Ami glared at her, earning a third jab in the arm. "You're the only one here furthest from a boyfriend," she shot back.
The sound of Yama's head suddenly hitting the table as she laid face down in defeat sounded before them. The other two shared entertained glances and broke into a brief bit of laughter.
. . . .
Hiyori looked back at her snoozing body laid elegantly across her bed.
Her brother would know where she went once he realized she was asleep. She'd probably be back just in time for dinner anyway.
It was her last and only chance to make things up to him before she went back home. And, seeing as he hadn't texted her all day yesterday, she knew the situation was dire.
So Hiyori stepped out into the cool autumn air. She stood on her bedroom balcony and leapt into the sunset. She didn't need to track down his scent to know where she was going, but the half-Phantom would be lying if she said it wasn't already calling her - luring her to him.
. . . .
"Hiyoriiiiinnn!"
Before Hiyori could process what was happening, her bones were being crushed by the goddess of poverty's powerful embrace.
"Hello, Kofuku-san!" She managed between struggling breaths.
"It's been a whole eight weeks!" Kofuku cried.
"Ah - sorry. I've been getting prepared for classes and settling in," the half-Phantom replied apologetically.
Suddenly, there were hurried footsteps followed by an excited, familiar voice.
"Hiyori's here?!"
And then she was met with sunset-colored eyes and shaggy, blonde hair.
"Yukine-kun!" She smiled.
Kofuku allowed room for her to step inside. She bent over to slip off her shoes, scanning the room. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage, and she attempted to control her trembling fingers.
Before she could finish looking around, Yukine stepped into Hiyori's field of vision. He held something in front of her that she hadn't noticed before - if it wasn't for the fact she was already shamelessly preoccupied searching for the delivery god.
"Check it out!" The boy told her, revealing the violet potted flowers in his hands. "They just bloomed a few days ago!"
Hiyori, unable to disappoint her friend with her current disinterest, pretended. She felt ashamed at her own selfishness.
She was only there for one reason - for one person. But she had to contain herself.
The brunette leaned down to catch the plant's sweet aroma, her eyes closing on their own accord. She straightened and grinned brightly at him.
"Smells wonderful! What are they?"
"Hydrangeas." Yukine exclaimed, grinning proudly. "I read a book on how to plant a bunch of stuff!"
"The garden looks beautiful with them, Yukki!" Kofuku praised him.
"They're lovely," Hiyori complimented too.
Hiyori straightened up again.
She had never had a moment to pause and notice the difference in height between her and Yukine now. When they first met, they were the same height. Now, she was almost as tall as-
A pair of eyes locked with hers from the kotatsu a few feet away behind Yukine's shoulder. Her whole body froze, her face going up in flames.
"Go ahead and make yourself comfy, Hiyorin!" Kofuku's voice piped in behind her. "I'll go see where Daiki went."
The goddess brushed past them, turning the corner leading to the shrine's shop.
"O-oh, okay…" she replied.
But Hiyori was unwilling to move a muscle.
Get comfortable? Next to Yato? How? She didn't even think a day would come when that thought made her stomach turn.
The temperature of the god's general vicinity was at least ten degrees colder than where she stood now.
Her pink Cord came around her waist, and she held it in front of her insecurely. She slowly stepped into the other room, her throat feeling dry.
Yato almost didn't acknowledge her until she had almost completely stood before him. He lifted his head just enough to catch her gaze.
"Hey…" he mumbled, immediately looking away.
"H-hi…" she replied, much quieter.
The air between them was strained - so thick it was choking them both. Neither dared to speak or pass a glance at the other.
They were back at square one now.
What a complete idiot she was!
They had been breaking down all those boundaries for the past year, and now, she had totally reconstructed them in just a single moment.
Suddenly, she could feel her self doubts seeping in again, scratching at her insides.
Maybe they were just better off that way. Maybe they shouldn't have grown so close. Maybe it was for the best.
They were god and human, after all.
Yukine must've noticed Hiyori's reluctance to sit down because she caught his silent, suspicious glare. She became paralyzed with awkwardness, unable to speak. The boy then passed that same glance towards his master, who stirred uncomfortably where he sat.
Yato cleared his throat and stood from the kotatsu, abandoning his drink there. "I think I left something upstairs," he stated dryly.
And, while avoiding all eye contact with the both of them, he retreated around the corner and up the stairs. The remaining two heard the attic door slide shut before either of them spoke.
"Don't ask; I have no idea what's gotten into him. He's been moody and distant for the past two days now," Yukine explained.
But Hiyori didn't need to ask. She knew exactly why Yato was acting that way.
Yukine looked down at the flowers still in his possession. Hiyori shared his somberness. She looked back at the steps leading up to the attic, where Yato had gone.
Then, she turned back to the boy and smiled a bit at him. "Why don't you and Kofuku-san make some tea? I'm just going to check on Yato."
"Uh-" Yukine blinked, and he was probably about to voice a question, but Hiyori proceeded upstairs.
The girl froze just before the door, which was ajar. It provided her a view into the room before she entered. She peeked inside.
Hiyori caught the sight of Yato sat by the wide windowsill, with one leg up while the other dangled, one arm resting on his knee. He was staring down at something he was holding in his lap.
She squinted, trying to see.
It was his shrine. The mini shrine she'd made him a few years ago.
She couldn't make out his expression from where she was - could only imagine suffering hidden under his raven-colored hair.
Her heart lunged for him through her chest. Her throat felt tight.
Finally swallowing her anxieties, Hiyori reached out and pulled the door open. It dragged against the tread in the floor, alerting the god of her presence.
He immediately lifted his head as she stepped in and closed it behind her. They were now only a few feet apart, eyes secured on one another. Hiyori didn't dare come any closer.
"Hiyori…" His voice rumbled softly.
"Yato…" she answered delicately.
She looked away shamefully. "Are you okay…?"
"Am I okay?" He repeated in shock, standing up and setting aside the wooden shrine on the windowsill. "I've been wondering if you were okay."
Hiyori wasn't sure if his response was rooted from bitterness or concern. Maybe it was both.
"I'm fine," she replied, suddenly feeling some sourness of her own.
That answer quickly shut down any remaining agitation the god could've been holding towards her. Suddenly, his demeanor softened, and he appeared hurt and uneasy.
"Did… I do something?" He asked, worry written across his tragically beautiful face.
Seriously? How could he be so oblivious?
Of course he did something wrong! He-...
What was it he did again…?
Hiyori searched for everything - anything - but came up dry.
Oh no. She'd made a horrible mistake! None of this should've happened. The only problem was the one she was creating. She was hurting him - her god of fortune.
It was only then that Hiyori realized she had to switch her tone and adjust herself.
"I'm sorry," she almost whispered, "I'm not mad at you. It's just-…"
Truthfully, Hiyori wasn't mad at him. She didn't want to be mad at him. She never meant to start an argument with him - she was supposed to be apologizing.
It wasn't his fault how she was feeling. It wasn't his fault he had such a deceitful father. It wasn't his fault his father had kissed her that day. It was his terrible excuse of a father that she was really upset with. So why was she projecting onto him?
Yato stepped forward, sensing it was safe. "Just what?" He asked.
Hiyori's fist came up to her chest, holding it over her heart. Suddenly, she bailed and shook her head to dismiss the thought. "It's nothing. You wouldn't understand…"
But Yato was persistent. He cared too much.
"It's not 'nothing' if it's bothering you. Whatever it is, you can tell me, Hiyori…" he stated gently, attempting to comfort her.
Hiyori didn't answer. Instead, she stared down at the ground in shame.
The silence was deafening. It went on a second too long, but Hiyori still remained quiet.
Yato then stepped back, unsure of how to react. She heard him clear his throat before speaking.
"Right. Well-" the god mumbled, approaching the door just behind her, "I guess I'll leave you-"
That was when Hiyori panicked and spun around. She reached out and quickly grasped his wrist, holding him back.
She was just being selfish. She was hurting his feelings because her feelings were hurt.
Yato froze and twisted around to see her, performing a double-take.
"Kiss me!" Hiyori blurted.
"W-...what?" Yato's shock doubled, retracting his arm from her grip.
Her pink eyes pleaded. "Please…?" She managed, her voice just a soft murmur.
The god's sigh was audible, sounding annoyed. His fist tightened at his side. "Make up your mind, Hiyori…"
The girl blinked in confusion. "What?"
Maybe her strategy was too extreme. Maybe her execution was too hasty. Maybe it was too soon - or too late.
But Hiyori realized she'd made a mistake when Yato sighed heavily, sounding frustrated and defeated.
"First, you're flirting with me. Then, you push me away. And now, you want me to… kiss you?"
He stared at her in bewilderment, as she had just slapped him.
Hiyori had no simple explanation she could give him. There was more than one answer - each more complex than the last.
She needed to reclaim her security and sanity. She needed to take back what his father stole.
She didn't want to be tied down to his father or that incident. What did that say about her? Was she an easy target for ridicule and torment? Was she weak? Was she pathetic for hoping her first kiss couldn't have been anyone besides Yato - had he not already stripped her of the opportunity?
Hiyori needed him to forgive her for last night. What she did was despicable.
She also needed to make up for lost time. Even if Yato was an immortal, Hiyori was human. Her clock was ticking; years had already passed, and things weren't progressing fast enough.
Even more, Hiyori felt an intense desire to share every waking moment and every passing thought with that one god before her. She shamelessly craved his intimacy, in every form of the word.
Hiyori wouldn't be losing anything if he chose to kiss her. If anything, she may just gain everything.
So, she dared to speak. She swallowed and bit her lip.
Where was she supposed to begin? How would she word it?
"Your father…- he stole my first kiss…"
Yato's eyes searched her face, questioning, waiting for more.
"I… don't understand - that was years ago."
He stopped and studied her face again. Her long, brown locks shaded half of her face, her eyes stumbling to the floor.
But the god reached out a finger to lift her chin, and their gaze locked. Yato adjusted his stance so that only she was the center of his vision, she was the only object of his focus. He lowered his voice to a soft tone, and the cynical look in his eyes thawed.
"Something happened. Tell me."
Damn. He was too good.
Hiyori felt herself slipping, every cell in her body screaming for him.
Give in, give in.
He's your god. Trust your god.
Her head and heart alike were crying out.
"It was supposed to be you that day…" she finally confessed, her lip starting to quiver. "But… it wasn't."
She glanced back to the side, unable to hold eye contact. She could feel Yato watching her intently, absorbing every word.
"I must've left myself open for it… I can't let that happen again. I thought I would be over it by long before now, but I'm alone in a new apartment, new school, new town, new people… and suddenly, all those feelings I felt then are coming back. I didn't have anyone to protect me then so- maybe…-"
Before she could finish, Hiyori was suddenly being drawn into a tight embrace. His scent was the only thing she could smell, and his body heat was so inviting. A complete sense of protection consumed her.
She suddenly felt all her walls crumble in a single moment. She continued.
"When you showed up the other night, I was…- I felt weak. And I was afraid you would… take advantage of it. Just like him…" Her voice was strained and fragile like glass.
"Oh, Hiyori…" she heard her own agony reflected in his tone. "That wasn't your fault - don't blame yourself…"
He was carefully petting her, running his fingers through her hair. His thumb brushed back a strand of her hair, tracing the shell of her ear. She wrapped her arms around his torso, clutching at him as if her life depended on it.
He smelled so good.
"B-But I-..." she struggled to find her ability to speak, "I lied and made you leave, and I hurt you just because I was scared…"
The tears that threatened to spill from her eyes were now soaking Yato's jersey. He only consoled her and allowed her to vent.
"I'm so sorry, Yato…!" She sobbed, her voice muffled against his chest. "I just want it all to go away - I want everything to make sense again…"
Only Yato could give that to her. Only he could protect and honor her needs and desires.
Yato pulled apart just enough to speak. He brushed her wet cheek with his knuckles, ridding her of her tears. "It's okay to feel weak. You're safe with me, Hiyori…"
"Y-Yato…" she uttered, the flow of tears slowing.
She could see it in his incredibly blue eyes; it did not affect the way he saw her. She was still his same old Hiyori. And the firm pride and determination in his expression made her feel more solid, more stable.
The half-Phantom was not prepared for what he would say next.
"You've lost your strength…," he began, a small, melancholic smile forming across his face. Then, his tone morphed into something else, becoming rougher around the edges. "Do you want me to give you some of mine?"
Hiyori saw him lean forward, aligning their mouths until they were only centimeters apart. He paused, and she realized he was awaiting her approval. His eyes were now hooded as he stared intensely.
Her face felt warm as she glanced down at his lips. Her teary eyes then glazed over with intense fixation. Her hand came to rest on his chest, and she dragged her fingertips curiously across the plain white T-shirt peeking out underneath. She could feel his hot breath against her lips already.
"Yes…" she whispered, catching his dreamy eyes. "Kiss me. Please…"
He didn't need any more convincing. His hand cupped her cheek, and her eyes fluttered shut on their own accord.
And in one single moment, he captured her lips - delicately, at first, but he continued deeper, with more purpose.
Hiyori's head filled with cotton, her nerves igniting like fireworks. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, luring him in even closer.
Don't stop.
The girl had no knowledge of kissing or how to do it, but she could learn. And she was taking in the way he released her lips, only to seize them again - the way he quickly, hungrily devoured her mouth from every angle - the way his tongue suddenly entered her delicious mouth to mingle with her own. Hiyori worked to follow his movements.
Maybe she wasn't perfect yet, but it only mattered that she was kissing him - Yato, her god of fortune.
Even as the world faded and slipped under her feet, the sound of Yato's groan erupting from his throat instantly caught her ears. She released her own noise in return, voicing her own pleasure. It opened up the fire in her, and she didn't resist.
But, no longer than it started, it was suddenly over.
Yato pulled away slowly, his face pink and eyes still hooded. They both took a moment, catching their breath again.
Hiyori's eyes happened to find the clock on the wall a few feet away, and her face stretched in surprise.
When Fujisaki had kissed her, she waited - painfully - for the seconds to pass. And now, as she had kissed Yato, she lost track of time. Five minutes had already passed.
"It's been a couple hundred centuries since I've done that," he remarked with a scoff.
After working so generously to support her desires, Hiyori was only met with dissatisfaction. His efforts came to nothing. Suddenly, a feeling of shame brimmed.
She detached herself from Yato's body and lowered her head. He must have noticed something was wrong because he let go of her too.
"H-hey, what's-...?" He asked, instantly losing all his bliss from their kiss earlier.
"It's not enough…"
"What?" Yato blinked, taken aback.
She lifted her head for him, answering. "The kiss - it's not enough. I need you to take something worth much more than just a first kiss. S-something… more valuable…"
Hiyori waited, with bated breath, to see if he would catch onto what she was implying. Her face felt hot.
She watched as realization finally struck him, and his cheeks darkened with color.
He turned and checked to make sure the door was closed before answering. He lowered his voice and swallowed hard.
"You're…- still a virgin…"
Hiyori nodded slowly, rubbing her arm and shying away.
"We don't have to do that - seriously. You could give yourself to anyone else," Yato told her, taking a hesitant step away.
He still didn't understand. She had to be more straightforward.
"No!" She panicked, and reached out to grab both his arms, holding him there.
"I-I need it to be you. Take me - claim me. I want to be yours, Yato. All yours - only yours."
She didn't have to think too much - the words seemed to easily slip from her mouth, and it felt so natural. She couldn't lie to him; he always knew.
The god chuckled attractively, retrieving an arm from her grasp to rest a palm against the wall not far behind her. His tall, lean figure loomed over her.
"Hiyori."
Her name spilling from his lips possessed all the smooth thickness of butter. She shivered.
"I'm not human. To give yourself to a god means more than you understand."
There were a few things he didn't know about being human. She could teach him what it meant to give in to temptation. To tap into those primal instincts.
Hiyori couldn't contain her smirk.
"Enlighten me then," she challenged back, fully prepared for the consequences.
Yato returned her twisted grin. The arm stretched out against the wall supported him as he stepped closer, beginning to close the gap between them. Hiyori was already closing her eyes again when the sound of footsteps outside the door alerted them.
The door to the attic swooshed open. A Regalia with blonde hair and orange eyes revealed himself.
Her Cord thrashed at her side like a startled cat. The god practically jumped backwards, creating distance between them.
"Y-Yukine!" Yato stuttered awkwardly.
Yukine stood frozen in the doorway, suddenly feeling the strange tension. He passed a glance between both of them. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Am I interrupting something…?" He asked.
"N-no, of course not," Hiyori laughed weakly, sweat running down her temple.
How would Yukine feel if he knew they had just kissed? How would he feel if he knew his master was making such advances on her?
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Right…" he responded slowly, clearly in disbelief.
However, he seemed to quickly brush it off and continue.
"Well, the tea is ready and-"
Yato intervened, perking up. "Ah, great! We're right behind you!"
Yukine glared at him when he lightly shoved him out the door again. Hiyori was following both of them out when the god paused and turned to face her. He held an arm out across the pathway in front of her, leaning against the doorframe.
The half-Phantom came to a screeching halt. She saw Yukine obliviously heading downstairs again, just out of earshot. She looked back at Yato, towering over her.
He leaned in just above her shoulder and lowered his voice.
"We're not finished here," his deep voice purred in her ear.
No. No, they definitely weren't finished yet.
In fact, their playful, heated tension was only just rising again.
Yato turned towards the stairs. As he did, he caught her gaze over his shoulder. He checked her up and down, licking away the last traces of her on his lips.
It took every ounce of self control in her to keep her knees from buckling. Her cheeks felt hot.