"What do you say we sleep on it?"

"I think we can do that," she said, kissing him gently and leading him to their bedroom, hopeful that they'd both be able to sleep.

CHAPTER 6: HIS MOST DIFFICULT MISSION

Since the O'Neills moved their full time residence to Colorado Springs, Sam's direct contact with the NID lab she had started was limited to bimonthly visits. She retained title of supervisor and director, but for the most part, responsibility for the day to day operation of the facility had been given to Beverly Picard.

This morning, Sam arrived at theNID lab just a little after 0900. It had been a long night. After laying awake holding each other and talking for a good half hour, she'd finally heard Jack's breathing even out, a sure sign he was asleep. She and Jack slept soundly until little Jake climbed onto their bed about three hours ago, wide awake. Jack took breakfast detail so Sam could get to the lab where an experiment was awaiting her attention. Unfortunately, this was one she couldn't delegate to an assistant.

But she wasn't at the top of her game. Her thoughts were home with Jack. He'd made the decision to visit his mother. She'd offered to go with him, but he'd rightly seen this as something he needed to do on his own. If the visit went well, she might have a chance to meet her mother-in-law. Wow, the idea felt strange, even to her. She couldn't imagine what Jack was going through.

Sam thought back to Jack's retelling of his visit with Ben Archer earlier in the day. Ben had told her husband "the act of forgiving does more for the person doing the forgiving that the one being forgiven." The more she thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. She hoped and prayed this would be true for Jack.

OoOoOo

Maureen was shocked when her new found brother called. He told her he wanted to visit their mother this morning, "if it was a good time". All she could say was "of course." She invited him to stay for lunch but wasn't surprised when he'd declined. She was beginning to understand how hard this might be for him and was fairly amazed he'd decided to come so soon (or at all for that matter).

She wasn't expecting the vision that arrived at her door an hour later. Lieutenant General O'Neill in his dress blues, replete with enough medals to impress… well just about anyone she knew. He looked so … official, handsome and a bit intimidating. Okay, a lot intimidating. Maybe that was his plan. She was disappointed Sam hadn't come with him. It was going to take awhile for Maureen to be comfortable with her brother, but she'd felt a connection with Sam right from the start.

"Good morning, Jack. Thank you for coming. It means a great deal," Maureen said by way of welcome, showing him into the gracious sitting room just off the foyer. "Mom was glad to hear you were coming. She'll be out in a few minutes. Her aide is helping her get ready."

"Is she strong enough for this…coming out here, I mean. Would it be better for her to stay in bed? I could go to her." Jack offered.

"No, she wants to do this, Jack. This is hard for her too. Please believe me when I tell you, she is very much aware of the damage she's caused. She needs to meet you with as much dignity as she has left."

Jack nodded silently. Maureen motioned him to take a seat and offered coffee which he declined, opting to pick up a stirrer to fill his need for something to fiddle with while he waited.

He didn't need to wait long. He heard the telltale sound of rollers on the hardwood floor as a frail older woman entered the room behind a rolling walker, a petite nurse's aide at her right shoulder. It was clear that this woman had been tall and stately in bearing at one time, but now she was hunched over the walker, her frame wasted, clearly in some degree of discomfort. Her graying hair was still luxuriant but showed no trace of the vibrant red color that had always distinguished her in her son's eyes. But her face, aside from a few winkles, was the same. Her eyes alight, her smile radiant, as she saw her son. Her son, the man, the Air Force General, he'd come.

Watching her now, Jack had no doubt that, without the cancer, she'd be a strong, vibrant woman, even at the age of seventy-two. Even crippled by the disease she exuded a confidence that he'd never seen when he was a boy.

Jack stood, almost at attention, to meet his mother again after nearly forty years. Margaret O'Neill Cramer made the first move, coming to stand directly before her son and looking up to meet stern brown eyes and an unyielding military countenance.

"You're an important looking man, Jack. If you weren't my son, I might be a little intimidated. Please, sit down. We have a lot to talk about."

He found himself doing as she asked. His mother's voice was essentially unchanged from when he'd last heard it. Maureen used the moment to take her leave.

"I'm going to leave you two alone now. Just call if you need anything."

"Thank you, honey," Margaret replied, smiling wistfully after her daughter's retreating form. Maureen had been good to her during her sickness. She owed her daughter a great deal. Ruefully, she realized that debt paled in comparison to the one she owed the man sitting before her.

"I needed to see you, Jack. I know it was a selfish request that you come, but I have to talk with you while there's still time. I need to tell you what's in my heart."

Jack sat unmoving, his face the military mask, schooled over long years of training and combat. This mission was as tough as any assignment he'd had, especially when it came to mastering his emotions.

"I'm here. What is it you want to tell me?" he asked in a tone more formal than necessary.

Margaret Cramer looked intently at her son's chiseled, care-worn features, eventually focusing on the deep brown eyes that reminded her of his father. She had a brief recollection of the days she'd truly loved Jonathan O'Neill before the abuse had become common place.

"Jack, I'm sorry I left like I did. I didn't know what else to do. I thought you'd be okay."

I was twelve years old and you left me with a drunk. What did you think was going to happen? A happy childhood? He thought. What could he say to this sick woman?

"Well here I am. I guess I'm okay, right?"

"It looks to me like you're much more than okay, Jack O'Neill. Maureen tells me you have a very responsible position. And just look at all those medals! Oh my, you must have won some verydifficult battles. And children, Maureen says you have children."

"Yes, twins, Jake and Grace," he answered with restraint.

"I'm glad. Jack, please believe me when I say I wanted to come back. I thought about you every night, especially those first two years. But I was afraid."

"When Dad died, what were you afraid of then? Why didn't you come?" His questions had gotten out before he could edit them. He really did not want to hurt this woman. It was obvious she was in enough pain already.

"I thought you were better off with Dorothy and Ed. My sister had married a good man, someone who treated her with love and respect. Oh how I envied her! Jack, whatever you think of me, I decided you needed to see that kind of love. You needed to see that things between a man and woman could be different than what you saw with your father and me. Dorothy and Ed were your chance. I was still alone. I wanted you to learn what a marriage was supposed to be. From what Maureen tells me about you and Sam, I think you learned pretty well."

"Sam has a lot to do with that," he said levelly, convinced that in many ways Sam had been his salvation. God knows, it was unlikely he'd have been here today without her.

"It's Samantha, isn't it? Maureen seems to like her. She must be a very special woman. I'm glad she's been good for you. You deserve to love and be loved by a good woman."

Jack sighed audibly and closed his eyes briefly, trying to regain his composure. His mother caught the gesture and tried to respond the best she could.

"By the time I met Maureen's father I was forty years old. I'd thought my life was over for a long time. But when I met Jim everything changed. And then Maureen was born. At forty-two, there I was with a new baby. I thought I had another chance to be a good mother. I'd followed your story, checked in every so often and heard from people that you were well. By the time I married Jim you were a cadet at the Academy. You had a life, all I ever wanted for you."

"Did Aunt Dorothy know where you were?"

"No, I never contacted her Jack. I knew she'd tell you. I couldn't deal with it. I just wanted to be sure you were okay.'

"You mean you couldn't deal with me, don't you?"

Margaret hung her head for a moment and a look of infinite sadness came over her face. "I couldn't admit it to myself at the time, Jack, but that's probably the truth. I couldn't deal with you because you reminded me of what I'd done by leaving you behind. The longer I waited, the harder it was to do anything."

"Yeah, well I appreciate your honesty."

There was silence for a few moments. Jack fiddled with his stirrer, trying to calm his wildly flailing mind. Finally, Margaret broke the spell with a happier memory.

"I remember when you worked in the shop with your dad. It was like there was nothing wrong in the family. It was just the two of you, working side by side, making some really beautiful things. Do you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. I remember almost cutting a finger off on the circular saw one day." Jack chuckled in spite of himself at the memory of being all thumbs at the beginning. "Dad was actually pretty patient teaching me."

"You took what was good in your father and you became your own man, Jack. That's all any mother could ask. You're a fine man. Despite what I did you've become a strong man, strong enough to come here today. I thank you for that, Jack."

As he looked up, Jack saw tears in Margaret's eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, Jack. They're happy tears."

"That's what Sam calls them. She does that to me a lot. Really gets me going too."

To Jack's dismay, that only made Margaret cry harder. "I've missed your life. I'm so sorry. I hope some day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me." Before Jack knew what was happening, he'd gotten up from his secure, solitary seat and walked across the room to where his mother sat, alone in the middle of an oversized davenport. Sitting next to her, he gently draped an arm around her shoulder, somewhat taken aback to find her slowly moving into his embrace. He could feel her fragile frame shaking with sobs. Jack found himself making small shushing sounds, much as his mother had done for him when he was small and had scraped a knee or was afraid of the dark. Lots like he did these days for the twins.

His mother's tears wet his uniform jacket, the cloak of armor he'd subconsciously brought with him for protection. Soon, his own eyes were wet with tears as well. It was done. He gave it up. He'd never wanted to hate her.

OoOoOo

A few minutes later as Maureen walked by to check on them, she was pleasantly surprised to find her mother's diminutive form wrapped in her brother's arms. Her eyes met Jack's briefly. They acknowledged each other in the way that siblings do. Maureen smiled gently and left them to their task.

A/N: It's been helpful to hear from so many of you with your thoughts about this story. Please continue to send your feedback. I'm planning one more chapter for this story, hopefully posted by the end of the week.