Taking hold

thankyou to all those who have reviewed - you guy know how to put a smile on my face :) u r the best!

Part 4

Warrick looked up to See Sara exit the interrogation room and sigh when she shut the door behind her, he had questions – he wanted answered but knew he couldn't push. Grissom however could. "Sara…my office" He offered softly.

"I'll process with the evidence…" Warrick explained, Sara just nodded her head. She'd been through the most emotional confrontation in there she'd ever been through at work and she knew her co workers, her friends were worrying about her.

Before leaving she locked eyes with Warrick "you hared?"

He nodded his head, then he stepped forward – he was unsure how this would be taken but it was something he needed to do. He put his hand on her shoulder and offered his support, "Any time you need a shoulder" he explained.

Sara nodded, smiling sadly and then she turned to follow Grissom through the hallways – taking the much needed deep breaths to calm herself. She was thankful to have to be pulled away by him, but she'd didn't want to have the conversation she knew was coming.

She made it to his office with little hesitation wanting to get out of the way of the lab and all the people it held. Human emotion wasn't something Sara did well with so this was so very hard, knowing that right now all she wanted to do was grab a bottle of Scotch and lock herself away she couldn't, first off she was determined to finish up on the case – and help the kid.

He shut the door "Sara…"

"I…" She stopped, she shrugged her shoulders, as she lent against the door with him stood in front of her "I told you my life was fucked up" She smiled sadly, hoping that he wouldn't probe too deep.

"God Sara, why didn't you tell me about your past?" he sighed

"I haven't told anyone…" She explained, after a long pause, and then she looked up to Grissom, "I looked at the girl and saw myself. I just wanted to help her…wanted to let her know…I don't know..." Sara sighed, convinced right now she sounded certifiably insane. "How did you end up on the other side of that mirror?" She asked.

"Warrick, he called me…you went a little crazy on him" Gil offered with a reassuring smile, "They all know that when Sidle goes crazy to give the supervisor a call"

"Is that right…?" Sara sighed, then she turned serious "Man, I want to kill that bastard"

"Sara I'm getting the feeling you don't want to talk to me about what you said in that Interrogation…"

"Your good, no wonder your top CSI" Sara responded, this time unable to keep the sadness out of her voice. She looked up at Grissom, "I need to break down…I need to breakdown and then I have to help find that guy" Sara explained, "Don't take me off the case?" She asked or more ordered.

"If this gets to you Sara, I want you off…you got that" he was stern

"Yeah" She nodded

"And how about you remember…you can't save the world" He knew what Sara was trying to do. She wanted to save the girl from the pain she went through but he knew she may not be able to do that. One thing that CSI's had to do was keep a distance form the victims – when they got involved as Sara had things only got worse.

"I don't want to save the world" She explained, "Just want to stop the kid from having to live like me. I mean, there's a reason I'm Crazy… a reason that even when someone I care about touches me I back off. I don't want that for anyone else – no one deserves it"

Gill took a deep breath; he looked at an emotionally unstable Sara, not filled with her usual strength. "Take all the time you need to break down and then got back and get this guy…just look out for yourself"

Sara nodded her head, she was about to leave before she questioned – "Who else was behind the glass?"

"Rick, Brass and Catherine" He explained.

Sara froze inside, Catherine was there. She silently cursed – your girlfriend finding out about your dysfunctional family and you suicidal tendencies through a one way mirror, it isn't how it should be - She had wanted to tell her, and nearly had on a few occasions, she hated not telling Catherine everything but it was just too hard. "Sara I know you don't want to talk about your past but…I think you should. If not with me then find someone you trust but…I just…"

"I know I get it…thanks" She offered sadly before leaving.

----

Three hours later, Danni's aunt picked her up – Sara had given the young girl both her house and mobile number and told her to call – call if she needed anything, at anytime of day or night. She talked to her, in private this time and too the surprise of the Night shift had even held the kid while she cried. Sara wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from the kid, to take everything away and make it all okay.

The most heart breaking thing tonight was when Danni had looked up at Sara and thanked her, THANKED her…I mean…what for? What had she done? Now she was stood in the lay out room with Warrick sat across from her and Grissom sat at the head of the table. Sara had spaced out along time back, thinking about the future that Danni would have and praying that it'd be better than what she had.

It was at this point she decided Grissom was right; you should never get emotionally attached to someone in this line of work because it just hurt more.

"So it's our guy? As soon as Brass and his guys get him we'll be able to take him." Warrick explained, he was right, scientifically this case was straight forward – domestic abuse gone too far. Yet emotionally, humanly this was everything but straight forward. Sara silently felt sorry for Danni who had a future of Shrink bills to pay out for…

"I'll be doing paper work then…page me when Brass gets the guy" Grissom stands, he looked at both of them but his eyes lingered a little longer on Sara's spaced out expression – as she's sitting looking across at the Crime Scene photographs. He knew anything he said would be empty, she needed to work this through herself. "If you need me you know where I am" he offered, it was mainly directed at the distraught CSI – who was doing what she did best – trying to cover her emotions.

The body
The woman
Blood covered and dead

It brought so much back to Sara. "Hey Girl…you okay?" Warrick asked. Sara broke from her daze and looked up at him; she didn't trust her voice so she nodded her head. Warrick nodded in acceptance knowing just how hard this was on her, he could see it in her eyes. After the Holly Gibbs he'd changed a lot, and his relationship with his co workers had as well. They were like a family, a dysfunctional, unconventional family… and non of them would want it any different. "Well then…looks like we've done all we can. How about we head out to the break room and grab a coffee?"

Sara waited a few moments, then looked up at Warrick – "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded his head, leaning further across the table "Anything…" He stopped and thought a moment, "Actually not anything…sexual questions are to be directed at Greg, Shopping can go Catherine's way and Nick will take your sport…but I'll take anything else." He smiled comfortingly.

Sara Appreciated how he didn't pressure her, if she wanted to talk he'd let her, if not…he wouldn't push at it. She offered him a smile and inwardly thought about how ironic it was - as sexual questions or…advances in most cases – contrary to Lab belief would go Catherine's way, not Greg's. Sara still couldn't believe that the team hadn't guessed. With the lingering gaze the flirting and the suggestive yet less than conspicuous advances in the locker room. It was like they were hiding in plane sight. "Well, seen as I'm okay on the Sex, clothing and sport front this seems to be a you question" Though she was trying to smile, trying to let him know she'd be okay there was still so much sadness in her eyes.

"Well then ask away"

"What keeps you doing this?" She asked now fully serious.

Warrick reached out and took her hand, he wasn't sure that his comforting touch would be welcomed but it was, she even appreciated it – looking into her eyes he replied, "I get to catch the bad guys…simple as"

"What if that isn't enough?" Sara questioned, "I mean…what if it doesn't help?"

"I tell you what…when we catch this bastard, and you look him in the eyes – then tell me it isn't enough. You got that… it has to be enough Sara, because it's all we have. We can't stop the pain, only bring closure."

tbc...
thanks for reading guys, really apriciate it. Just like to let you know that i am still without a beta so anymistakes made are my own. Sorry about them! And also i promise to get so Sara CAtherine time soon :) hope it doesn't take me too long.