SEEKING TRANQUILITY

She was sick of it. Sick of this place. Sick of him.

Hitomi lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling in thought. There were times she did wish Van would come flying through the window, where he'd scoop her up from the bed in his arms and take her away, away from this place, from him.

Dilandau was, by far, the oddest person she'd met. There was no way to describe him without sounding like you were crazy. At times he treated her with respect, as if he'd grown on her during her time there, other times he'd sneer and make fun of her in front of his slayers to belittle and humiliate her, and then there were times that he acted so much like…..

Like Van……She squeezed her eyes shut tight, gripping the sheets unconsciously in her fists. And all at once she pitied, hated, and adored him

She hated his cruel side, pitied the side he rarely showed, a side of him that was almost childlike; vulnerable, quiet, and then she adored him when he treated her like a person, looked at her with respect and equality and maybe even a love of his own.

Who am I fooling? Hitomi thought, sighing, turning her head to the side, away from the side Dilandau slept on. Her eyes fell forlornly to the window that gave a small view in the dark outskirts of this foreign world she'd become to love and hate.It's all just an act.

How can someone like Dilandau turn good completely? It wasn't possible, not in her standards. Sometimes she almost believed it was, but when he was in one of his foul moods she would laugh at herself for even thinking it.

Am I selfish Van? For wanting you to always come and get me? Maybe Dilandau did have a point. Maybe she relied too much on Van, and never fought for herself.

I wonder if he hates me right now? Van, can you forgive me? I don't know why I did this……why I even pitied him in the first place. But I feel like he deserved a second chance, as crazy as that sounds.

She sat up; the humidity was getting to her. Slowly, trying not to wake Dilandau sleeping quietly beside her, she pushed the blankets off her, climbing out of bed.

She gave a shiver, realizing it was actually quite cold in the room. Standing, arms wrapped around her, she quietly made her way across the room, bare feet padding.

In the past days, she'd find herself waking up in the middle of the night guilty and mad at herself all at once for even being in this situation, feeling Van's eyes constantly watching her, waiting for her to make a mistake.

I know! I'll get something to drink. That'll cool me off. Hitomi thought.

Dilandau sat up, startling Hitomi who was about to make a run for it and hide before he saw her.

Too late! She thought His eyes were open, glazed and distant.

" Please….." He whispered, so soft she thought it wasn't Dilandau; he was a loud, confident speaker.

" I-I didn't mean to….." His teeth grinded together, as though he was battling his emotions and keeping them in check.

Hitomi swallowed, daring herself to answer. " Dilandau? W-who are you talking to?"

His eyes stayed still, blank and dull. " I just…..want to be my own person………" His head fell down and Hitomi began to worry and freak out.

What was going on? Was he……. Is he sleep talking! Hitomi's eyes widened in realization, before she drew closer, ever so slightly, catching a few of his hushed words as his head remained down.

" Don't you understand…….I just……I JUST WANT TO BE MY OWN PERSON!" He bellowed, head shooting up, eyes slanted in rage.

Just before Hitomi could figure any of this out, he'd fallen back asleep. Crashing backward and into the mattress that bounced beneath his fall.

What….what just happened? She was almost frightened by what she'd seen. He looked so lost, so unlike the person she knew he was, then in a flash he had turned into the Dilandau she knew and saw.

She was almost frightened by what she'd seen. He looked so lost, so unlike the person she knew he was, then in a flash he had turned into the Dilandau knew and saw.

She debated if that glass of water she was thirsting for was more important than waking up Dilandau to see if he was okay. She wasn't a selfish person, but she also wasn't an idiot; God knows what he was capable of when he was woken up in the middle of the night.

Sighing, hating herself for being so understanding, she found her legs guiding her to the side Dilandau slept on.

He was sleeping on his back, head tilted to the left, rather her right, hair loose from its normal slick look, fanned out across his forehead and right cheek.

She found herself just staring at him, his features barely visible in the dark room. She could make out the smooth porcelain skin, his eyes were shut with strings of his bangs scattered across them. His lips, a soft natural pink color, were slightly opened to let out the hushed breaths of air.

In that moment she realized Dilandau never looked more real. He looked alive.

She gave a furious shake of her head. Stop staring. With your luck he'll wake up, think you're trying to kill him and end up strangling you or worse!

Her hands found their way to his shoulder, where she began shaking them in hopes of waking him up.

" Dilandau……wake up…..come on," She frowned; this guy wasn't budging! He was either a deep sleeper, or was pretending to sleep and ignoring her.

" Come on, wake up," She insisted, shaking more firmly at his shoulders. He looked like he was breaking out in a sweat. Was he having a nightmare or something?

She gritted her teeth. Oh she was going to wake him up! " Van's here, and he's going to take me away," She whispered, almost hissing, leaning in his face so he would hear for sure.

" WHAT?" He sat up, causing both their heads to collide and send Hitomi stumbling back and on the floor, whereas Dilandau fell back on the bed with a thud.

" Oww….." Hitomi rubbed at her forehead. What was his head made out of! Bricks?

Dilandau sat back up after recovering from the blow, before glaring at Hitomi still collecting herself from the floor.

" What the hell is your problem?" He screeched, voice rising in pitch and volume.

Hitomi clapped her hands over her ears, glaring at him. " I can hear you know!" She shouted back.

His eyes narrowed. " What do you want? Can't you see I was sleeping!" He gave a furious curse under his breath.

" You were sleep talking, and you sounded scared! So I figured you were having a nightmare, so I decided to wake you up!" She shot back, standing and dusting off her gown.

Dilandau sneered. " What the hell about? And who gave you the permission to listen?" He demanded.

" I was just worried!" She screamed, face red in anger and embarrassment. Her eyes grew wide. Was she going nuts? Had she said

Dilandau made a disbelieving sound, similar to a scoff and bitter laugh.

He didn't say anything, his head refusing to turn in her direction. Hitomi's lips drew tight, forming an agitated line.

Finding his silence as permission for her to speak, she went on in a softer voice. " You sounded lost…..and scared…."

Reluctantly he turned his head, but his expression wasn't pleasant. " Are you accusing me of being some pathetic wimp?"

Her shoulders stiffened, bundling. " No! I'm just telling the truth! But I guess you don't care right?" She turned her head to the side, not willing to face him.

He laughed, but it was neither happy nor sad. The sound was low and distant. " Who are you to tell me what I care about?"

She stared hard at him, lips in a frown. " Because you only care for yourself. And it took me awhile to finally realize it, but I did, and I'm glad I did," She turned on her heel.

" I didn't say you could leave!" He shouted. His face was flustered from anger.

" Who are you to stop me?" She snapped, not bothering to stop, turn, and face him.

He climbed out of the bed after tearing the blankets off him in a not so gentle manner, before he approached her with quick and angry strides.

His hands went fast, grabbing her shoulders and forcefully turning her around. She stared nervously at him, but wasn't about to let her guard down.

" Where would you go?" He demanded, voice raspy. " My slayers would kill you in seconds. And if you made it past them you'd be killed out there."

" It's better than being here," She snapped hotly, shaking his hands off her shoulders.

He let her go, a smirk making its way to his face, but it looked forced, strained, as if he was trying to cover up another emotion.

" I already told you, you're staying here unless I let you leave. But don't get your hopes up, that won't be happening anytime soon,"

She turned her back to him again. " Well good for you!" She sounded childish, but she was tired of yelling and her throat was sore from all of it.

" Didn't I make myself clear!" He spat, reaching out to grab her arm and pull her back before she got too far and too close to the door and leaving.

" I'm just going to get a glass of water!" She cried in frustration, turning around to glare at him.

" Do I look that stupid? Do you take me for some God damn fool?" He snarled.

" I'm telling the truth! If you don't believe me than why don't you come and see for yourself!"

" I think I will," He shoved past her, walking out of the room where he waited impatiently by the entrance.

She stared at him quietly, bothered by this. I didn't mean that…….I wanted some time to myself. To clear my head and get away just for a bit. Not end up with him!

She sighed. " I wasn't being serious,"

" I could care less," He snapped. " From now on I will accompany you wherever you go,"

" WHAT?" She screeched. " You can't do that!"

" Oh, but I can, and I will,"

" You're not my babysitter! I'm not a child! I don't need you to hold my hand and make sure I don't run off and get hurt,"

He chuckled darkly. " I could care less if you get hurt. But I won't allow you to try any foolish tricks and escape,"

She bit her lip, angered and hurt by his words. So if a car ran over me, he wouldn't care?

She drew in a deep breath, releasing it in a loud breath. " Of course you wouldn't, you're not Van,"

" What did you say!" He bellowed, the look of insanity and rage returning to his face.

She turned to face the bed. " What does it matter?"

" How dare you compare me to that…..to that damn little fiend Fanel!"

Hitomi screamed in shock and surprise when she felt him turn her around, then backhand her hard enough to send her to the floor.

Her hand went to the stinging red cheek. " You're nothing like him, you're just a heatless jerk. I can't believe I thought someone as cruel as you could change."

He shook the hand he'd hit her with, he'd used so much strength that it even hurt him. He stared quietly down at her.

She stood up, her eyes avoiding his, her hand overlapping the welt on her right cheek.

" I can't believe……..I actually thought I could be your friend. I'm an idiot for pitying someone like you," She walked over to her side of the bed and sat down, not bothering to lie down and get under the covers.

Dilandau stayed still, silent, blankly staring at the spot she once stood. Why, why did she confuse him so much? He hated her so much, hated her because she was in love with Fanel. She cared for that bastard more than anyone and he couldn't understand why.

And after all the things he'd said to her, done to her, and constantly berated her for her friendship with someone like the likes of Van, she still wanted to befriend him, change him for the better, help him through his problems.

Even after all that…….. His jaw tightened.

" I'm tired of fighting you….." Hitomi whispered. " I'm sure you'll be happy to hear it, but I give up. It's not worth this……" Hitomi kept her eyes to the open window.

Why, why wasn't he enjoying this? Dilandau's hands drew into fists. Why wasn't he proud of himself for finally breaking down the one thing that was most important to Fanel? For destroying her inside out till she nothing but another one of his slayers; a lap dog who did what he said.

His thoughts were broken by Hitomi's sudden movement toward the window. " You're right, Dilandau, I'm nothing but a coward who relies too much on Van…."

He wanted to say something cruel to her, to assure both himself and the sickening feeling in his gut.

He couldn't stop himself. " Of course I'm right, I always am,"

She laughed, but the sound was dead and lifeless to his ears. " Of course you are…"

He gritted his teeth. Why wasn't she arguing back? Why was she being so cooperative? It just wasn't her! She was faking it all just to get him to leave her alone.

Why did she always act like she cared? She was almost like a nurturing mother, taking care of his injuries, and whenever he had a nightmare, she'd wake him up and try and soothe him.

But he didn't want that, he didn't want her pity, her friendship, her sympathy, her hate, her love. He wanted none of it. In fact, he wished he'd never met her. If he hadn't he would've never felt like this.

He felt mentally ill, lightheaded and weak in the legs. Why would she want to befriend me? After all I've said and done? After all she's said and done?

" Just shut up!" Dilandau screeched, clapping his hands against the sides of his temples to ease the throbbing in his head.

Hitomi stared at him, wondering what was wrong with him.

" Dilandau? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She was supposed to be mad at him, for hitting her and treating her like dirt, but she couldn't help her instincts to just hold and protect him from whatever was doing this to him.

Dilandau furiously shoved and cursed at her when she tried drawing him into her arms.

" Don't touch me!" He shouted, futilely fighting her. All at once he wanted to be embraced, and loved and cared for by this woman he'd grown on, and another part of him wanted to rid himself of this feeling and get her as far away as possible.

He fell back in his crazed haze to push her off, bringing her crashing down with him.

He slapped her hand away when she offered to help him up by the mere gesture. " Leave me alone!" He hissed, picking himself up and off the ground.

He didn't bother looking at her to know she was moving around him. At first he thought she was going to try to escape, and he couldn't help but look back.

She was kneeling behind him, arms open and waiting. She wasn't forcing him this time, but rather letting him decide.

" What? Do you actually expect me to hug you?" He clamped his mouth shut from further insults when he noticed her look, her arms lowering to her sides.

" Why would I?" She stood, but before she could get to her feet completely, Dilandau had roughly yanked her back down, pulling her into his arms.

" Don't…." He muttered, eyes half-lidded.

" I thought you..."

" Do you ever shut up?" He snapped, but nonetheless he shut his eyes and held tighter to her. He felt safe and secure for once.

She didn't say anything, and he didn't bother looking up to see if his words had hurt her. He pressed his face against the smooth skin of her collarbone that the gown didn't cover. She smelled clean and pure, like rain-water and pine trees.

" How can you treat me like this after all I've done?" He asked, voice low and raspy.

Hitomi sighed; he was in his depressant mood. " Because I care, and you're like a friend to me. You just need a good push here and there…."

He scoffed. " We'll never be friends. We're enemies,"

" I know," He realized her arms were still by her sides.

" Put your arms around me," He ordered. She did so, slowly, wrapping them around his upper back. He sighed, eyes slightly opened again.

" You smell good……" He muttered.

" T-Thanks.."

" I wasn't saying it as a compliment," He snapped. She sighed. " I know,"

" Why do you care for someone like me? Don't you realize I could kill you? That I'm using you?" As he said these words, he felt unsure of himself. Was he still using her? What would happen if Van did somehow manage to get past his slayers and take her away? What would he do?

I'll never let that happen. He growled in thought, tightening his arms possessively around her.

" I'm not sure myself," She whispered, eyes cast toward the window. She didn't know whether or not she wanted Van to rush through the window and rescue her like old times.

Just like old times…… Hitomi repeated in thought, not really concentrating on what Dilandau was whispering to her. Probably more insults.

" Well?" Dilandau snapped, glaring up at her to find her blankly staring across the room to the window. Looking hopeful, and at the same time scared.

" I'm talking to you!"

Hitomi looked at him quickly. " Sorry….." Her voice sounded distant, as though she were just coming out of some trance.

He let her go, a foul look on his face. " Thinking of him again?"

His eyes thinned. " He'll never love you back,"

" W-what?" Hitomi stared at him.

" He'll always be too busy to ever notice you're really there. You're a fool, an idiot to think he'd fall for you…"

Hitomi rose to her feet, now towering over him. " Why do you always bring that up?" Did he get a kick out of making her feel worse than dirt? That no-one, not even Van, would love someone like her, someone who was just…..

" Ordinary, that's all you are," Dilandau continued, standing to his full height as well, now staring down at her.

" There's nothing special about you. You're just an ordinary girl with foolish fantasies of marrying a prince one day."

Hitomi lowered her head, shutting her eyes, trying to block out his words.

" You're nothing to him. Just a friend, that's all you'll ever be…."

" Stop…….Please just….." Hitomi sucked in a breath. " Just leave him out of this……"

" Don't you wonder….?" Dilandau drawled, circling her in slow strides. " Why he saved you those countless times? Was it really because he was worried? Or was it something else?"

" What are you getting at!" Hitomi snapped. How could he accuse Van of…..of using her! Van wasn't like that!

He let out a soft, mellow chuckle. " Because……if you died, who would tell him how to use the pendant? Who would predict the future for him? Hmm….?"

A smirk stretched his lips across his face. " That's right, you don't answer because it's true, isn't it? Fanel isn't as perfect as you think……is he….?"

" STOP IT!" She screamed, clapping her hands to the side of her head. " You're wrong. Van's the greatest guy I know…he'd never hurt me. Never,"

Dilandau stepped back, an angry look on his face. " You're an idiot like all the rest. You think everything is a happy ending. Well let me tell you, it isn't!"

" You're wrong!" She countered. " How things turn out is your choice! No-one else's."

A sneer crossed his face. " You've been filled with lies; life has and never will be happy,"

" Because you choose to make it like that!"

Dilandau laughed bitterly. " Then you're saying I wanted this life? Wanted to be some damn experiment to please others? That I wanted to not have my own life, be my own person? Well! DO YOU?" He was practically screeching now, throat tight and jagged with the veins of distress.

" Then let me help you!"

" I don't want your help!"

Hitomi grabbed him by the shoulders, noticing him stagger a bit from all the shouting. He looked drained, but he was refusing to surrender.

" I can stand myself! I don't need your help!" He tore from her grip, casting a nasty glare her way.

She tried grabbing him again, but he was a fighter and stubborn to boot, cursing at her and calling her cruel names in an effort to get rid of her.

But Hitomi was relentless. She wasn't giving up on him. Not let. Raising herself on her tip-toes, she resorted to her last option.

She kissed him.

Merle let out a squeak, barely managing to stumble out of Allen's way as he fled from Van's room at a hurried pace, sword clanking at his side.

" What's wrong?" Merle asked, frantic. " Is Van-sama okay?"

Allen didn't stop, intent on getting down the hall in record time. " He isn't in his room,"

Merle gasped. " No…Youyou don't mean Van"

" Yes," Allen bit out. " I don't know how he did it, but he got out."

" There's only one place he could be headed," Allen whispered.

Merle blinked back tears. Van you baka! How could you leave like that in your condition?

A/N: dodges shoes, tomatoes and…PANTIES? O.oHey now people! I couldn't help it, this cliffhanger has GOT to be the best one yet! o muwhahaha!

Van: How could you leave it like that? I wasn't even in this chapter…crosses arms, clearly upset

Dilandau: Oh but I was……..and I wasn't alone……eyes Hitomi wedged between him and Van

Hitomi: noticing Van's eyes on her I have NO clue what he means! The guys crazy!

Yup…….well….hopefully you guys are pleased with this chapter, and not too mad about where I left it….heh…heh…

But don't worry, the next chapter will be better! I hope! . I wonder how Dilandau will respond to the kiss! ACK!

Van: glares at a wall

Dilandau: I've got a good idea……..why don't I share?

Hitomi: NO! No……that….isn't a good idea. Heh.

Van: I agree! If anyone, Hitomi should be kissing ME!

Dilandau: Oh? That's funny, because I could swear it was ME she was kissing. And might I add she FORCED me! I'm quite innocent in all this!

Hitomi gasp o LIAR!

Van: Nooo! Hitomi's MINE! cries

Hitomi: Aww……there, there Van….hugs him

Dilandau: Release her NOW, Fanel! That's my woman you're touching!

Van: laughs NEVER!

Hitomi: Ugh…..I'll never get boys……

Dilandau & Van: Hey! We're MEN!