SEEKING TRANQUILITY

" STOP!" Hitomi cried, stepping in front of Van and throwing her arms out.

But it was too late, Dilandau had already unsheathed his sword, running in quick steps toward Van just as she bravely blocked his path.

" Get out of the way you damn idiot!" He shouted, he was going so fast it was too late to stop, if she didn't move out of the way she'd get hit instead of Van!

Dilandau shut his eyes when the blade penetrated a thick fleshy object, and he feared it was Hitomi herself. Why didn't she move? Why was that girl so damn stubborn? Why did she defend Van? Why?

" WHY?" He shrieked, eyes wide in horror as he looked at the blade pierced deep in Hitomi's side, blood splattered across his face from the impact. With a firm yank he pulled the sword from her body, almost vomiting when he did when more blood spurted out, covering him in the warm, red liquid.

Hitomi crumbled to the floor, the sword no longer supporting her weight as her legs gave in and buckled, leaving her to fall into the hard floor, the pain unbearable as a stinging sensation ran from her stomach to every part of her body.

Van stood still in complete fright, his arms frozen mid-air where he'd prepared to move Hitomi out of the way before she took the blow, but it was too late, he was too slow, he couldn't save her, he couldn't get her out of the way fast enough, Dilandau had been too fast…..

Too fast....He repeated in thought, staring down at his hands as if he himself had done the horrible deed. His body was numb, his emotions were scrambled, he felt sick, his head hurt. Why couldn't he stop shaking?

G-Get a hold of yourself…she'll make it. She'll make it! But not even he believed it when his eyes fell to the floor where Hitomi lay in a bloody pool, her face losing color quickly as she began to convulse.

" Hitomi!" He fell to his knees with a miserable sound, extending his arms to grab and cradle her.

" Don't touch her you bastard!" Dilandau screeched, punching Van across the face, sending him colliding into the wall behind him, nearly knocking him unconscious as he lay limply against the walls support with misty eyes.

" I hate you…" Dilandau hissed, glaring directly into Van's eyes as he pulled Hitomi into his arms, breathing hard to contain himself from killing that damned Fanel bastard that very moment.

His eyes fell to the girl lying limp in his arms like a rag doll, light and empty.

" Wake up you damn bitch!" He bellowed, shaking her roughly by the shoulders, her head flinging back and forth from the force.

He slapped her hard across the face. " I said wake up, damn it! WAKE UP!" He buried his head into her chest, sobbing hysterically, before he tossed his head back and began laughing uncontrollably.

" Wake up now…..I know you can hear me…" He stared down at her closed eyes and chalky complexion. When she did not answer or move, he began rocking back and forth, clutching her tightly to his body with his face hidden against her neck, chanting incoherently under his breath.

Van stared in horror. Dilandau had completely broken. Whatever held the boy together had shattered to pieces, leaving him completely unprotected and bare.

Dilandau stood on wobbly legs, cursing through his tears to hoist Hitomi's bloodied body in his arms.

" Damn it!" He grit his teeth, desperately trying to carry her to the infirmary on shaky legs. A woozy sensation of nausea overwhelmed him, the reek of her blood unbearable, suffocating him, forcing him to smell what he'd done, what he'd caused.

" Chesta!" He screeched, searching frantically for the slayer as his mind went on shutdown, forgetting the direction of the infirmary. He laughed when he almost tripped on his own feet, the sound insane and impulsive.

" CHESTA!" He screamed, sucking in a sharp breath when he started crying again. His emotions were out of wack, and he found himself being steered by the feelings bubbling inside him.

He laughed again, the sound scaring Chesta who appeared from his room, walking out to see what the noises were about.

" Hitomi! What happened to her?" Chesta gasped, leaping forward and catching Hitomi just in time as Dilandau fainted.

She was losing blood, and fast. Knowing Dilandau would be fine, he raced in the direction of the infirmary.

Please don't die Hitomi! I don't know what happened to you, but you didn't deserve it. Someone like you should never have this happen to them…

Van couldn't move, he felt like his strength had been sucked out of him, leaving him completely slack against the wall. His jaw felt like hell, but he cared less, perhaps Dilandau was right and this was his fault. He was to blame, he should've known Hitomi would do something like that, he should've known better.

He weakly banged his fist back against the wall with an angry cry. Why couldn't he protect her? Why!

" I'm so sorry Hitomi….it's all my fault…forgive me." Quietly he sobbed to himself, burying his face in his hands as he was left with the guilt and dread that Hitomi wouldn't make it, all because of him.

Dilandau opened his eyes slowly, the rustle of bodies and incoherent voices surrounding him in a distorted blur.

" Look! He's awake!" A voice cried.

" Be sure to tend to him while I'm out." A firm voice instructed.

Dilandau shut his eyes again, the nausea returning, even when, he realized, the blood stains had been wiped off his face and hands, his clothes exchanged with new ones.

" How do you feel Dilandau Sir?" A slayer asked, leaning in to sit in a chair beside the bed, overlooking the young teen.

Dilandau ignored the boy, keeping his eyes closed, his breathing calm. " Where's Fanel?" He hissed.

" We found no traces of him. He must have left before we came." The slayer explained.

Dilandau sneered. Just like Fanel to run away when things got tough. How could that bastard just leave? They still had a fight to settle. How could he run off when Hitomi was possibly….

Possibly….

" Dilandau, Sir…."

Dilandau bolted up, eyes snapping open, immediately recognizing the voice as Chesta's. His strength returned, he leapt over the bed, shoved the slayer aside and ran up to Chesta, slamming him against a wall with his fist curled in his collar.

" Where is she?" He demanded, pulling at the collar harder, cutting off the slayers air supply as he wiggled in discomfort.

" WHERE IS SHE?" He screeched, spitting in the boy's face.

" She-She's resting," He choked out, the air rushing out of him when Dilandau released him, leaving him to fall on the floor with a hard thump.

" Then she's not going to die…."

Chesta rubbed his sore neck, before meekly looking up at Dilandau from the floor. Never had he heard Dilandau sound so relieved about something. Did Hitomi really mean something to him?

Dilandau ran a hand through his tousled hair, his disheveled state making him look more mature, more handsome, his features hightened by the messy silver strands hanging around his face.

" Good, wouldn't want to have to look for another slave," He smirked down at Chesta, a laugh slipping, the sound shaky and forced.

Was Dilandau forcing himself to sound so cruel? Who was he trying to deceive? His men or himself?

Chesta stumbled back on the floor when Dilandau shoved him out of the way, allowing him to exit the room in quick steps toward the infirmary.

" You shouldn't bother her," Chesta managed weakly, standing, hoping to stop Dilandau from checking up on the girl. " She needs to rest as much as possible. That hit she took….was very fatal. It's amazing she didn't die on the spot."

Dilandau glared nastily at him. " I didn't ask for your opinion. I'll see her if I want to. Leave me the hell alone and do what you're supposed to be doing." He spat, turning his back on the slayer and walking down the hall.

Chesta sighed heavily, shoulders sagging. There was no stopping Dilandau. When he wanted to do something, it was wise to leave him be, and let him do what he wanted.

Everything ached, a stinging, burning sensation that consumed her entire body in heat, making her feel hot to the point of it being unbearable. The covers over her didn't help either, and she could do nothing to remove them, the slightest movement bringing on a sharp stab to her side where she'd taken the hit.

Her lips trembled, her eyes watered, but she held it all in, not wanting to cry and break down in her state. Shutting her eyes, she breathed in sharp, quick sucks of air, trying to concentrate on the coppery taste in her mouth and the strong smell of alcohol rather then the pain.

If anything, she felt like she was in a hospital, even the covers reeked of the stale peroxide. She didn't open her eyes when the door opened, assuming it was Chesta coming back for his hourly check-ups on her. She honestly had no clue how long she'd been in the room, lying in the bed, but it felt like hours, even days.

" C-Chesta?" She croaked, wincing when she heard how raspy her voice sounded.

" No." The person replied, almost snapping at her.

She opened her eyes in bewilderment. Could it really be…?

" D-Dilandau?"

He smirked down at her in a crooked fashion, an unusual gleam in his eyes that disturbed her enough to look away in fear. Was he going to kill her? If he did, he'd have no problems, she was too weak to defend herself, it would be an effortless fight.

She broke out of her trance when she felt the bed shift and sink down from his added weight as he took a seat beside her.

" Fanel's gone." He declared, looking her straight in the eyes.

Her eyes flew open in horror. " W-what do you mean?"

He chuckled, the sound bitter. " He's alive, so stop your damn worrying, it's annoying."

She swallowed the bile in her throat, staring at him nervously. " Then what do you mean…..I don't understand?"

He smirked, tilting his head to the side. " Oh, the bastard ran off like the coward he is. I'm not surprised. Fanel's always been unreliable…" He turned, facing her, a cool look in his eyes. " He abandoned you. Left you to die. He doesn't care about you."

" H-He left?" Hitomi bit her lip. Why would Van leave her? Didn't he care? Wasn't he worried about her?

" How…why?" She demanded, searching Dilandau's face for answers, only to find none.

" You should've known better. You should've listened to me. But everything was always about him. Van this, Van that. Your love for him disgusts me." He narrowed his eyes, glaring heatedly at her.

" Why do you look so shocked?" He demanded, a smirk breaking out onto his face. " You should've known Fanel would leave you, leave you here to die in the enemies hands. I must say---"

" Stop! Please, just stop!" She cried, covering her face in her hands, shaking her head frantically. It was enough knowing Van had left her here to die, but to hear it from him? She just couldn't take it.

She stiffened when she felt his hand move down the side of her face, brushing her hair aside to give his eyes a full view of her face.

" But it doesn't matter….." He murmured, voice scarcely low. " You're mine now, and you'd be wise not to disobey me. After all, I'm all you have left. It's obvious Fanel doesn't want you. Don't you agree?"

She sucked in a sharp breath when he leaned in and brushed his lips across hers, the touch startling her as his minty breath wafted her nostrils. The caress was light, a whisk of skin, his lips moving back and forth over hers, pulling her into the hypnotic dance till she was pressing her lips up against his in eager want.

She didn't know why, but it felt right. She shut her eyes, drowning in the sensations his lips brought, falling deeper and deeper into the caresses as her lips molded perfectly with his.

His unkempt hair tickled her cheeks, the white strands falling about his bent head like a cape, his red eyes half-lidded and cloudy, framed by the streaks of lust and desire as he crawled fully atop her, wary of her wounded side as he kept a good few inches above her, the kiss unbroken.

Hitomi inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of his hair and skin: peaches and rainforest. An unlikely mix from him.

Moving her head back against the pillow, the kiss was broken, allowing both participants to catch their breath, panting equally fast.

Dilandau leaned in again, pressing his forehead to hers, his eyes, half-lidded and lazy, boring deep into hers, and she was aware that he could possibly see into her very soul with such intensity.

" He doesn't want you," He breathed like a mantra, his lips brushing against her cheek. " He never has. You're nothing to him. Compared to the women he's been with, you're just a little girl with hopeless dreams."

Hitomi held in a deep breath, his words hitting her hard, more painful than the burning in her side. How could he say those things? He didn't know! He didn't know what Van was really like!

" Why…?" She demanded, voice weak, but she couldn't help it, her health was low, and she was left restless and drained of energy, even her voice failing her when she needed it most. " Why do you say those things?"

" Why?" She cried, tears breaking loose, filling her eyes like clear gems, settling at the corners of her eyes.

Dilandau got off her, sitting with his back facing her, eyes blank and dull, giving away no emotion.

" Are you happy!" She shouted, her voice throbbing in pain from overuse. " Do you like making me feel so, so…."

She shut her eyes tight, the tears spilling automatically, rolling down her cheeks, moistening her dry skin.

" ….worthless…" She concluded, voice so low she believed he hadn't heard.

" Why does it matter what I think of you?" He faced her, his eyes stone-hard, his jaw stiff.

Because, She wailed in thought. Because I know its all true…. To Van, she was nothing more than a good friend, nothing more than that plain, average girl who would never stand out in a crowd, who'd never get him to look her way the way she wanted him too. The truth hurt her to the point of forgetting everything and fleeing back home.

Maybe it'd be best to leave this place, leave all of Gaia and all its memories with it. No-one wanted her. All she did was cause trouble. She moved her hand over her wounded side. She caused even herself pain.

" I asked you a question!" Dilandau barked, grabbing her arm and squeezing it tightly in his curled fingers.

" Don't ignore me!" He shouted.

Hitomi cried out when his grip became unbearable. " L-Let go! You're hurting my arm!"

" Weak," He muttered, releasing her arm.

She rubbed her arm, feeling the familiar ache of a bruise forming. " Do you want to know the truth?" She shouted, sitting up in the bed, not caring that her side hurt like hell.

" What the hell do you think I've been asking---"

" I love you, okay!" She interrupted in a fierce shout, before realizing her mistake and turning quickly on her side, back facing him. She didn't know why she loved him, he called her names, slapped her, treated her lower than trash and was always messing with her head, yet she still did.

I'm such an idiot….Why? Why do I always fall for the wrong guy? What's wrong with me! Why do I always go for the guy that'll never like me back, or even treat me the way I should be treated! I hate my life! I hate it here! I want to get out…..I want…

A bright light enveloped Hitomi, the green rays coming from beneath Dilandau's clothing where the pendant lay. He still had it? Why?

Facing him, she extended out a shaky hand. " Please….give me….give me the pendant…"

He looked away from the pendant now in his hand, staring at her with an unexplainable expression. It wasn't what the pendant was doing that disturbed him, it wasn't that at all…..she had…..she had said she loved him. Loved him. No-one had ever said that to him. No-one.

Hitomi reached forward and snatched the pendant from him, taking the risk as he seemed to be trapped in his own little world.

Dilandau stood in horror, staring down at Hitomi who now had the pendant cupped in her palms, whispering under her breath.

" I want to go home…..take me back….please…"

He'd seen this before…..

" I wish I was back on earth!" She cried. The green light burst around her, blinding Dilandau who lifted a hand in an effort to shield his eyes. When he lowered his hand, he saw something he never wanted to see.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she was disappearing.

" What do you think you're doing?" Dilandau cried, reaching out to grab the pendant and take it from her before it was too late. Before she was gone for good….before….

He stared in horror, his hand going right through her transparent body. He choked on a breath, his eyes dilated. She was….

" Gone…" He fell to his knees, his eyes glued to the spot where Hitomi had just been sitting. She said she'd loved him…..after all those things he'd said….done to her. Why? It didn't make sense! Why would she love a monster like him?

And now, just like that, she was gone, gone for good. It was all his fault…all his damn fault! Why didn't he say something back? Why was he so stubborn?

All this time…. He fell forward, letting his face bury in the side of the mattress, a sound between laughter and sobbing bubbling in his throat as the tears fell freely. All this time she loved me and I……

He began laughing hysterically, head thrown back as the cackles ensued.

Chesta ran in, frantically searching for Dilandau to find the boy on the floor, an insane gleam in his eyes.

" Dilandau-sama!" He rushed to the boy's aid, only to be roughly slapped to the floor just as Dilandau found the strength to stand, the laughter gone, the smirk replaced with a gloomy, dead look.

" D-Dilandau…" Chesta cradled his red cheek, staring fearfully up at the boy, before his eyes drifted to the empty bed. Empty? Wait!

" Hitomi! Where's Hitomi?" Chesta cried.

Stepping over his fallen form, Dilandau walked out of the room, not once turning back.

Chesta stared back at the bed in fear. Where was Hitomi? And why…..why had Dilandau been crying?

" What the hell happened to him?"

" He looks horrible…."

" Did you hear about the Moon girl?

" No. What happened?

" We heard she vanished last night! Something to do with that magical pendant of hers!"

" How's Dilandau holding up?"

" The guy hasn't said a word since last night. It's like he's in some kind of trance."

Dilandau walked down the hall, the whispers among the slayers surrounding him bypassed, his deaf ears blocking out the mens voices. He walked through his headquarters blindly, eyes straight ahead, his expression aloof and solemn.

Upon reaching his chair in the main room on the first floor, accompanied by his slayers who were curious about his unusual behavior, Dilandau took a slow, languid position in the throne-like chair.

A brave slayer made his way to the front, a piece of paper crunched in his hand. " D-Dilandau sir..we…we just received note that Fanel and his men are planning on attacking us tonight…..w-what should we do?"

Dilandau remained silent, his eyes unmoving from the spot on the wall across the large expanse of the room, completely ignoring the slayer in front of him, seemingly looking right through him.

" D-Dilandau?"

The men gathered in the room began whispering and exchanging looks amongst themselves, truly disturbed by their leaders lack of response.

It was like he'd completely lost it.

Just what the hell happened last night?

Dilandau stared, standing like a statue in the doorway to the room once belonging to Hitomi, looking over the bed, still unmade with the faintest imprint of her body still visible in the mattress.

Squeezing the doorframe, he stepped in, oblivious of the slayers around the corner, staring at him with wide eyes.

" How long has he been standing there?"

" Hours, I think. He's been there since this morning after our meeting."

" What the hell is wrong with him?"

" What's he looking at?"

" Didn't that room belong to that moon-girl?"

" I think so."

Dilandau slammed the door behind him, shutting out everything, especially the voices of his men who apparently didn't know how to eavesdrop without opening their big-fat mouths.

Approaching the lone bed, he leaned over it, running his hand down the curvy imprint the knew belonged to Hitomi. Lying down on the bed, rolling on his stomach with his head buried in the pillow, sprawled on the side she slept on, Dilandau smothered himself in her aroma still present in the pillows and blankets, cherishing the distinct smell.

And for the first time, Dilandau wept.

A/N: Whew! Now was one heck of a hard chapter to write. Especially when I still have writers block! I hope you guys liked the chapters! A bit depressing---even made me cry writing it!--but trust me the ending will be a happy one, this isn't an angst story after all, its romance!

As for Hitomi, next chapter will show just where she is! I'm sure its obvious, but, meh! Sue me!….Really…don't…lol. As for Hitomi confessing her feelings to Dilandau, I know it was abrupt, but I guess that last kiss finally made her realize it!

As for Dilandau, I'm sure how he feels about Hitomi is obvious! He is a psycho path though, so I made his feelings about all this very…mixed. One minute he's laughing, the next he's crying. As for his reaction to Hitomi being stabbed in the beginning, Dilandau really doesn't know how to show love and care….so he just lashed out on her, when he really was afraid she might die!

Crowd: Aww…

Dilandau: Shut the hell up!

Hitomi: You're ranting too much!

Me: Oops, sorry! Well, sorry about the LONG wait guys. It's my fault…I have like five fics out at once. Lol. Real smart of me, huh?

Hitomi: Rambling…

Me: Oh! Right! Sorry! So…you guys know the drill.

READ AND REVIEW! XD