Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them.

And I know the rule. If I break them, I buy them.

A/N: Back from the concert and sunburned but happy. I got this back from the great typo-hunter, Kelli. Thanks, as always, for her help and encouragement. But seriously, I'm not a saint, Kel! I hope you guys like where this is going…

Father and Son

Chapter 3

"Up and at 'em." John called as he walked into the motel room the next morning, carrying two cups of coffee.

Dean was awake, but hadn't bothered to get out of bed yet. He woke up when John left earlier and for the first time in a long while, he just wanted to sleep. He wasn't exactly a morning person, but he also wasn't one to lounge around wasting time. Before Sam left, the brothers would spend time each morning doing physical training. Dean enjoyed that time alone with Sam although he never really admitted that, even to himself.

"You okay?" John asked.

"Yes, Sir. I'm just running slow this morning."

John handed him a cup of coffee and sat across from him on the other bed. "I thought we could find the closest library and do some more research; see if we can find any newspaper articles about fights or other activity the Borders were involved in."

"Sounds good." Dean said, then took a long sip of coffee. He avoided his father's gaze and, after drinking more of the coffee, went into the bathroom to take a shower.

OOOOOOOO

The nearest library turned out to be in the next town, twenty miles away. They drove in an increasingly uncomfortable silence and, once at the library, went about their business separately. The newspaper archives weren't very helpful when it came to information about the family that had owned the land, but the more recent issues were full of stories about the strange occurrences at the house. They worked their way through the information, making notes as they went.

"How are you coming?" John asked later.

"I just got through the last one."

"How about we compare notes over lunch?"

Dean nodded. "Okay."

His son's behavior wasn't lost on John, but he didn't know what he should do about it. Talking things out wasn't something he was comfortable doing; besides he thought he knew what the problem was. He had always been very proud of the relationship his sons had and he realized that losing Sam would be difficult for Dean. He'd always been protective of the younger child, even before Mary died, but almost obsessive about it afterward. When Sam was old enough to participate in the hunts, John put Dean in charge of his training. He thought it would make them a stronger team, but he wondered now if that had been the right decision. Maybe there was such a thing as too close.

The conversation was easier once they were talking about the job. They compared the information they'd found and realized that, although there were some similarities in the stories, there was no real pattern standing out. The best theory they had was the one Dean came up with; that father and son were fighting within the house.

"Well," John sighed. "if that's the case, we can probably just find their graves and take care of this with salt and burning the bones."

"Seems like a lot of work for such a simple outcome. We could have salted and burned the bones without ever going to the house."

"It works out that way sometimes. Besides, we needed to investigate the house."

Dean nodded, dragging a French fry through a puddle of ketchup on his plate

"There's a cemetery back in town; we'll probably find them there."

"We should probably check the official records while we're here, though, so we don't waste any time."

"Good thought. Why don't I take care of that while you finish up here?" John said, noticing that half the meal Dean ordered was still on his plate.

"I'm done." Dean said.

John sat back in his chair. "Dean –"

When Dean looked at him, John was taken aback by the anger in his son's eyes. They stared at each other for several moments before John looked away. Dean could never remember that happening before, but he got no satisfaction from it.

"I'll meet you back at the library in a few minutes." he muttered.

John nodded. "Fine."

Dean had been angry at his father before, but never like this. When Dean was younger and denied something he wanted to do, he would get mad. He got annoyed when John wanted to involve Sam in something Dean didn't think he was ready for. But no matter what was going on, no matter how angry Dean was at his father, it had never been like this. Dean didn't understand his younger brother's desire to have a normal life, but he would have let him go without a fight if it meant Sam would one day come back.

But John ruined everything.

John sent Sam away.

And now all Dean had left was John.

He loved his father and would gladly do anything he asked. Anything but give up Sam.

Disgusted, Dean pushed away his plate and went to the men's room. He leaned against the sink, staring into the mirror. He let John come between himself and his brother. He wasn't as angry with John as he was at himself and, realizing that, he smashed the mirror with his fist.

John saw the cuts on Dean's hand when they met back at the library, but decided to let it go for the moment. He could tell Dean had washed the cuts and because they couldn't dig up the graves until late that night, he knew there would be plenty of time to talk at the motel. The drive back was quiet.

OOOOOOOO

John walked into the room with a bucket of ice. As soon as they got back to the motel, Dean got out of the car and, inside the room flopped onto the bed with his back turned to the door.

"I got you some ice for your hand." John said, leaning over Dean and putting the bucket in front of him.

"Thanks." Dean muttered. He kept expecting John to order him to adjust his attitude and the longer it didn't happen, the angrier he became. He desperately wanted to scream at his father, but he knew that he never would. Besides, he was the one who let Sam down. He was the one who let the fight between him and John get so out of control. John sent Sam away, but Dean let it happen.

"You want to tell me what happened?" John asked, standing over the bed.

"No, Sir."

"Well, I want you to tell me."

"Are you going to order me to tell you?" Dean asked, sitting up and putting his hand into the bucket. He didn't want to admit any weakness to his father, but his hand was throbbing and starting to swell.

"Will that make a difference?"

Dean didn't answer

"Look, I know you miss your brother and I'm cutting you some slack because of that, but I'm about fed up with this attitude of yours. Sam is gone; it's time to move on."

Dean was livid. John was acting like Sam was just some expendable person they'd met; like Sam didn't matter and that he wasn't part of the family. And the worst part washe expected Dean to act the same way. But Sam wasn't expendable. He did matter. He wasn't just some person; he was the most important person in Dean's life. He was Sam.

Dean wanted to scream at his father.

He wanted to throw him against a wall and hit him.

But instead, feeling cold inside and dead inside, he mumbled, "Yes, Sir."

OOOOOOOO

"Where are you going?" John asked Dean later, as his son put on his shoes and slipped into his jacket. It had been hours since either had spoken and the sound of John's voice seemed louder than it really was.

"Out for a walk; I'm restless."

"I want to head out to the cemetery by 9:00, so be back by then."

"I will."

John put down the book he'd been reading and went to the window to watch his son walk away. He'd been at the window of their apartment when Sam left and he couldn't help but think about that day. He knew he had allowed himself to become too angry; he never intended to forbid Sam from coming back.

Where Dean was always obedient, Sam always questioned. He was never satisfied and knew how to push all of John's buttons. All John wanted to do was keep his boys safe and he couldn't do that if they weren't with him. Sam didn't know all of the dangers he could face; John hadn't had time to teach him everything yet. He shared Dean's concern for Sam, but it was Sam's choice to leave and that was that.

John wouldn't admit that it hurt when Sam left. And he couldn't admit that he missed his boy.

TBC