Chapter 18
It must have been the longest dinner in Hermione's life.
Sitting with Harry, Ron and Ginny, at the Gryffindor table, Hermione couldn't shake off the panic and dread she was feeling in her stomach.
This was bad, very bad…
Out of anyone who could have walked in on her, Snape was one the worst-case scenarios… He wanted to see her after dinner, no doubt to discuss what he witnessed in the bathroom.
But the time couldn't go any slower, and she could feel his stare on her, throughout the entire dinner.
It was unnerving, not knowing what he was thinking. She had to rely on his Slytherin instincts and hope he hasn't told anyone yet, not before she had any chance of convincing him otherwise.
Her chances were slim to begin with. Professor Snape saw her perform some pretty illegal, not to mention long lost magic.
A very dangerous magic, nobody had access to in hundreds of years.
She could only hope he didn't recognise the signs; the blood sacrifice, the eyes glowing gold…
She had to hope he thought it was just some generic dark magic… that she performed without her wand and…
yeah no, she was done.
She broke her rules and now the universe was going to punish her for it.
But what could she do? Wiping his memories will be very difficult, and she can hardly kill him, she's not a murderer…
But if he was to reveal what he saw to anyone, it would be incredibly dangerous for her and her family, and Hermione would do anything to protect them, even if it came to…
No! Startled by her thoughts, she slammed her fist onto her thigh, discreetly under the table.
No, there must be a better way to deal with this.
"Hermione?" She looked up to see Ginny looking at her with worry. "You're not eating. Is everything alright?"
"Yes! Yes, I'm fine, totally fine." She forced a smile. "I just got lost in my thoughts for a minute."
"Well it's been longer than a minute, you've been sat like this, staring into the distance and poking your food for the past half an hour." said Ron, for once not eating like a pig. Actually, his manners have improved a lot this year, Hermione noticed.
"Hermione, I was meaning to ask… what happened earlier? In the bathroom, before I got back with Madame Pomphrey? Why does Snape want to see you in his office?" asked Harry, finally. She was waiting for him to ask.
He's been complaining about his endless detention to Ron and Ginny for the entire dinner. He was very upset that he got punished for nearly killing the evil git Malfoy, when the blonde devil incarnate got away with cursing Katie Bell and nearly killing Ron with the poison that was in the wine Slughorn was planning to give to Dumbledore.
Harry of course, had no prove that Draco did any of it. But that didn't stop him voicing his accusations and nearly committing a murder, in an effort to carry out justice it seems.
"Well, Professor Snape came in just after you left and he used his complex spells to fix Malfoy. I tried very hard to stop the bleeding before he came, you know, to make sure you don't get send to Azkaban. Seeing how he was able to save Malfoy's life, I must have done a good job. Maybe he just wants to thank me."
"Snape wants to thank you?" She had a feeling Ron wasn't quite ready to believe that.
"I don't know Ron! That's what he said. I have no idea why he wants to see me, the insufferable know it all. I guess, I will find out after dinner." She said, stabbing her food with her fork.
Then it occurred to her…
The old spells can have nasty side effects if performed incorrectly. She never performed it before.
What if she messed up? What if Draco wasn't entirely okay?
Then Snape would surely hand her over to the authorities, the Malfoys would make sure she would be punished trice over, for hurting their son and only heir. Even though she tried to save him, it wouldn't matter.
Harry might have been the one to strike and hit, but it was her who used the suspicious dark magic. It didn't matter that she tried to save him. What counted here was facts, and the fact would be that Draco Malfoy was killed by ultimately joined efforts of Harry's and hers.
And even if he wasn't dead, he could have been hurt or there might have been some unforeseen consequences. For instance, even if that magic did save his life, it might have given him side effects.
She had to go and check on Draco immediately.
She suddenly got up, making Harry, Ron and Ginny stop their conversation and look up at her.
"I just remembered, I have to go and send a letter to my grandfather. Don't wait for me, I will go see Snape right after." Hermione explained. She felt terrible lying to her friends, but it was easier this way.
"Then at least take some food with you, you've barely eaten anything." Ginny said, taking some snacks off the table and putting them in a napkin. She passed them to Hermione with a small smile. Ginny was very caring, she took after Molly in that way.
"Thank you Ginny." Hermione smiled gratefully, as she took the snacks and turned to leave. Soon she was out of the great hall.
Checking that she wasn't followed by her friends, Hermione made her way up the stairs to the infirmary.
"Let me out of here! Or I shall speak to my father!"
"You must rest Mr. Malfoy! You've been hit by a very nasty curse."
"But I feel fine! I feel more than fine. What's the point of lying down here when there is absolutely nothing wrong with me!"
Hermione heard Draco argue with Madame Pomphrey from the corridor.
Partly relieved he sounded just fine, she entered the infirmary, and walked over to the bed where Madame Pomphrey deposited protesting Malfoy just a second ago.
"Hello Draco." She said making him look up at her with a frown on his face. He seemed to look well. Maybe she was successful after all. It certainly felt like she was, but one can never be sure when it comes to the druid magic.
"What are you doing here?" He asked looking up at her. "Came to see the handiwork of your scar-headed friend? There's nothing to see Granger, I'm perfectly now. Whatever Snape did, it worked but she just won't listen! And now I can't even move." He was clearly unhappy about being quite literally stuck to the bed. Madame Pomphrey deemed it necessary to prevent him from leaving on his own, when she wasn't looking.
"I came to see how you were doing, hoping I will get at least a glimpse. I thought it will be impossible to see you, you know, breaking through the thick crowd of your many friends, lined up to check on you." She replied sarcastically, making him roll his eyes at her.
"At least one of us is finding my situation laughable." He sighted. "I have friends, Granger, they're just busy." He drawled.
Yeah, busy stuffing their faces with food and snacks in the great hall…
"What have you got there?" He asked, eyeing the napkins she was holding, full of snacks Ginny prepared for her.
"Snacks. Would you like some?" Hermione asked sitting down on his bed.
"I can't move, Granger." He stated annoyed.
"I can …feed them to you." She offered slightly smirking. It was quite amusing seeing him so… helpless.
"No! Do I look like an infant to you?" He exclaimed horrified at the prospect of being fed. "I don't require any of this petty treatment." A fully-grown Malfoy being fed like a helpless child! Utterly scandalous! "I'm not a baby, Granger."
"Sometimes you do act like one." She admitted, unfolding her napkins. She took a biscuit and shoved it in her mouth. "Mm… that's nice" She said enjoying her food, making Draco lose all the last bits of his non-existent patience.
"Just… Give me one." He said swallowing his pride. "NO! Not that one! I hate nuts." He said quickly seeing she picked up the one snack he always avoided. Stupid bint did it on purpose, judging by her facial expression, and the pure mirth in her eyes. He didn't even question how she knew he disliked it.
When it came to Hermione Granger, it was better not to ask any questions, for his own sanity.
Hermione smirked softly and put a honeycombs biscuit in his mouth.
It wasn't his last one of course… She fed him snacks until they ran out, and he stopped complaining too. Was he enjoying this?
"You baffle me Granger." Draco said suddenly.
"Why is that?" She asked causally.
"You know about… everything, yet you still act as if we're friends." He said with his eyes cast down.
"We are friends, Malfoy. You made it official when you jumped into the lake after me, at the end of the 3rd year." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Still, it's quite bizarre for someone of your blood to stick around. It was odd before but now I'm beginning to wonder if your Gryffindor bravery turned into a complete lack of self-preservation."
"Says a poster child for blood supremacy, turned a friend of mudblood." She tilted her head and smirked slightly when he winced at her use of that word. If was not long ago that he still called her that, but lately she began to notice he stopped using it altogether.
"Did you just call me a blood traitor?" He looked outraged.
"You said it, not me."
"I'm not a blood traitor! You of all people should know that best." He snarled, glancing at his left arm making her follow his line of sight. What a subtle way to say 'I'm a death eater'.
"That's debatable." She concluded.
"You do remember what I have on my arm, right?" Yes, you just made me look at it.
"Yet, you are still talking to me." She raised her eyebrow at him half amused.
"The question is why are you still talking to me." he hissed. "I can hardy get up and leave, but you're here on your own free will, for reasons that are beyond even mine comprehension."
"What kind of friend would I be if I turned away from you because you did a few stupid things, when I know you have no other choice?" She gave him the one look he despised the most in the world – the look of pity.
"I'm not your charity project Granger!" Exclaimed Draco, looking incredibly offended. "And don't look at me like that!"
"I never thought you were. You're a person in your own right who is more than capable of thinking and making their own decisions, who am I to interfere?" She explained but Draco's face showed only amusement and disbelief. The audacity this girl has… - was probably what he was thinking.
"Just because you don't do it directly doesn't mean you don't do it at all. You're talking to a Slytherin, remember? Have you always been this sly? Hm… Must be my influence. I guess following your betters around has many benefits, doesn't it Granger? But don't get your hopes up, you can't change your house now." He smirked. Like she would ever want to…
The Sorting Hat did want to sort her into Slytherin, due to her fascinating ancestry and her family's exceptional nature, but she declined, hoping to move away from anything even slightly related or similar to her heritage. And, despite the short time she had to acquaint herself with the school, she heard some not very nice things about the house of snakes.
During the train ride the first friends she made, talked about the sorting ceremony, they all wanted to be sorted into Gryffindor, the house of the brave. Hermione made it her mission then, to be sorted into the same house as her new friends.
How ironic that she ended up befriending a Slytherin to such extent, and even fell in love with one.
"Your vocabulary seems to have improved a little since you've began to follow me around, so I suppose it does." She concluded with a smile.
"It won't always be like this; you should keep your distance from me now." He said, making her roll her eyes.
Why was he so determined to get rid of her? It's not like he could protect her that way anyway, so what was he trying to do?
"There is nothing you can say or do to make me run, Malfoy. We are friends and I will always be there for you."
"And if one day I have to do something, unforgivable?" Ah, there it is. He's worried about his little mission.
"I will kill you" She said after a pause with a serious face.
Seeing his expression falter, her seriousness dissolved into laughter.
"Comical." He exclaimed. "There is just no end to your wit and humour, is there Granger." She smirked seeing him get annoyed.
"Alright Malfoy. I think I've had enough of your company for the rest of the month now." She said getting up.
"Get well soon" She added, and turned to leave, but his complaining stopped her and made her turn to face him again.
"I am well! In fact, I have never felt better." He looked her in the eye, even though she was standing slightly further now. "My arm doesn't hurt anymore." He added quietly. "I can feel it when he calls me, but it doesn't hurt anymore. At all."
The insufferable know-it-all has been staring into the space, and not eating or talking to her little friends, for the entire dinner.
Severus wondered why she could never be like this during his class.
He was no expert on the interworkings of the minds of the female student body of Hogwarts, and he certainly was no expert on muggleborn female students who went around using dark magic to save their school enemies.
Snape took his time observing Hermione Granger. Apart from being a remarkably skilled witch, and an unexceptionally irritating student of his, all he really knew about her was that she was a muggleborn, Gryffindor friend of Potter's.
He never had taken much interest in her, and he would probably continue to be ignorant of her existence to the best of his ability had he not walk into the bathroom at that moment.
Hermione Granger seemed to have saved Draco Malfoy's life. Apart from being her enemy, the boy was the youngest death eater, with a mission to kill Albus Dumbledore… which, she also seemed to know about. Judging by the exchange between the two, at the Slughorn's Christmas party.
But what was even more questionable was that she clearly didn't tell Potter or Weasley about it.
If she did, Potter would not be sitting at the table enjoying his dinner this calmly right now. Severus knew Lily's son had his suspicions about the young Malfoy. He was very vocal about them after all. But if Granger did in fact confirm his speculations, Potter would be knocking on the door to Dumbledore's office immediately. Gryffindors were hot-headed and impulsive like that.
Potter's behaviour could only mean Miss Granger's secrecy.
But if she indeed kept it to herself, then why? What was her interest in this? Was it possible that her loyalties lied somewhere else?
Ever since the Slughron's party, Severus has been keeping a distant eye on her.
From what he saw of her short interaction with the young Malfoy, he got an impression, there was more to their relationship than he originally believed.
And then he went to the prefect bathroom on the 6th floor, after hearing some students talk about Potter following Malfoy and that they will probably fight again. He expected the fight between the two boys would get nasty, and there will even be blood spilled by the time he got there but…
But what he saw when he walked in, made him pause in shock.
Hermione Granger was sitting on the floor, covered in Draco Malfoy's blood.
Malfoy was lying on the floor unconscious, with blood spilling out of him. He didn't need to look long to recognise his own spell at use. He saw Potter walk around with a potions book that looked very familiar.
Foolish cretin boy, that damned Potter.
But what made Severus freeze, was Miss Granger, holding her bleeding hand over Mister Malfoy's body, reciting some clearly ancient incantation, and a dark one at that, judging by the cut on the palm of her arm, and her eyes burning pure gold.
He stood there and watched as she reversed the effects of his spell.
He knew Granger loved to know everything but he would never suspect her of dabbling in the dark magic.
Where did she even managed to find such old spell?
Her eyes burned gold and he didn't see her use her wand. That could only mean…
No, that's preposterous, not to mention impossible… he dismissed the thought.
But why did she save a boy who on every available occasion, made sure to tell her she was less than him in every way?
Severus looked to where the impossible girl sat, but the space was empty.
Potter and the Weasley siblings were there still, but Granger was gone.
Severus got up alarmed, and promptly left the great hall.
Walking through the castle he wondered where she could have gone. He told her he wanted to see her in his office after dinner. Did she try run away?
Then it hit him.
Infirmary… She could have gone to see him.
But why did she go there? Was it to threaten him? To make a deal since she saved his life? To wipe his memories?
Snape turned and made his way to the Hospital wing, hoping he wasn't too late…
"And if one day I have to do something, unforgivable?" Severus heard as he walked into the infirmary. Madame Pomphrey was obviously gone, and there was no one else present in the ward.
"I will kill you" He heard and stopped walking. Wondering what he should do when he confronts her, he took his wand out and prepared for negotiations, when he suddenly heard her laugh.
"Comical." He heard Draco's voice. "There is just no end to your wit and humour, is there Granger."
"Alright Malfoy. I think I've had enough of your company for the rest of the month now." Granger replied and Severus could see her silhouette get up. "Get well soon."
"I am well! In fact, I have never felt better" Malfoy said loudly. "My arm doesn't hurt anyone" He added so quietly Severus barely heard him. "I can feel it when he calls me, but it doesn't hurt anymore. At all" He whispered, and if Severus wasn't standing just two screens away, he wouldn't be able to hear it at all.
Judging by the silence between the two that followed, Severus decided it was his queue to make an appearance.
"Professor!" Both were startled to see him. He took a long look between the two of his students that could not be any more different. They were on the opposite end of every spectrum, yet here they were, interacting in a friendly manner.
"I believe I asked you to see me in my office Miss Granger, so how come I had to come all the way up here to find you, happily conversing with Mr. Malfoy, who should now be resting?" He drawled.
"I-I just wanted to check if Malfoy was alright Professor, after… you know."
"You wanted to check if he was alright? Am I to understand you were unsure of what exactly you were doing to him earlier?" He raised his eyebrow, and looked at her pointedly.
"What do you mean, unsure of what she was doing to me?" Malfoy asked confused looking between the two.
"What did you do to me Granger?" The boy looked at the girl with a strange look in his eyes, whereas the girl shut her eyes firmly and sighted.
"Oh? Was Mr. Malfoy unaware of what has happened in the bathroom before my arrival?" Severus asked, not feeling sorry at all for exposing her sleek act.
"Of course he was unaware, he was unconscious, how could he know?" She mumbled, not looking at the boy lying on the bed, behind her.
"I'm right here!" a hiss came from the hospital bed. "Granger! What is he talking about?" Draco demanded, hating being excluded from a conversation that clearly revolved around him.
"Miss Granger used some pretty impressive dark magic to patch you up, before I had a chance to… intervene." He drawled looking at Hermione's guilty face.
"What? You used dark magic?! You?! Ha! Does Potter know?" He exclaimed, sounding way too happy, making Hermione roll her eyes and turn to him finally.
"Of course he doesn't know! But what was I supposed to do? You were bleeding out so fast, nothing I tried to stop it worked. If I didn't do it, you would have been dead before Harry came back with Madame Pomphrey and Harry would be charged with murder and you would have been dead, how was I supposed to know Professor Snape would come? I did what I had to do to save your life!" She rambled on.
"I wasn't aware you cared so much about whether I live or die." Malfoy commented.
"I thought we've been over this already." She replied sharply.
"How fascinating… seeing the two of you, being so …friendly." Severus said looking between the two. It looks like he was right about there being something more than just, mutual dislike for one another, between the two unlikely allies.
He wasn't so sure about Miss Granger's agenda anymore. Before, he suspected she would use her knowledge of Draco's troublesome situation, to her advantage, but now it looked like she wanted the opposite… which puzzled him even more.
"Before you say anything Professor, Malfoy needs as many friends as he can get right now. He's in a very tight position and I would hate to make your job harder, adding to his long list of problems. So, you see, it really is in everyone's best interests for you to keep this to yourself." Granger said, making him look at her in bewilderment.
"Are you threatening me, Miss Granger?" He asked darkly. It seemed that there really were no limits to her extensive knowledge on Draco Malfoy's life.
"Bargaining, Professor."
She looked determined, and Malfoy said nothing, only looking between the two of them.
He hated the mental comparison he made between them, and Lily and himself.
He hoped that the situation wasn't going into that direction. It would greatly complicate things if the feelings between the two were more than platonic… Romantics tended to be dramatic and painful, not to mention unnecessary, in the growing conflict between the two sides. But, for the sake of his own short-term peace, Severus would turn a blind eye.
For now…
"Very well" Said Severus, under the pressure the two teenagers were putting on him. Maybe it was best to leave them alone for the time being… "But, I simply cannot help but wonder Miss Granger, just how you came across such old, dark magic."
"By accident Professor, in the Restricted Section of the Library, when I was researching healing spells for my additional Defence of the Dark Arts essay, in the third year. It was a long time ago and I didn't mean to use it, it was just the first spell I thought of in that moment and overwhelmed by panic, I ended up using it." She explained.
"I see." He replied simply. Choosing to believe her lies for now. "I would advise you to stay away from that section of the library from now on, Miss Granger."
"Of course Professor." She replied shortly, earning a glare.
Snape looked between the two very different students who had nothing in common, and were in fact natural enemies.
Seeing them interact in such different way than their usual, public clashing, the entire Hogwarts was so used to seeing, was quite perplexing.
With an awkward moment of silence that passed between them, Severus turned and left the infirmary in hurry. He needed to return to his office and think of what to do next in the light of all those new… developments.
Hermione was standing in the owlery, staring at the letter in her hand for the past hour. She wrote it over a week ago and kept carrying it around on her, unsure whether she should send it or not.
It was a letter to her cousin Niklaus, asking him to send her a standard old book of druidic spells.
It was a frustrating battle she has been fighting with herself, over whether she should start to learn her magic properly…
Hermione has learned the basics as a child, and she had the opportunity to go through various ancient books that contained more advanced and much more complex stuff, when she researched time travel with Regulus and when looking for a way to bring him back.
But, she never learned the 'intermediate level' old magic, leaving a large gap between her little practice of druid magic she gained as a child, and her vast theoretical knowledge on the advanced practices she developed quite unintentionally.
A part of her was still conflicted about her feelings regarding the old magic. Its power relied on balance with nature, which Hermione understood and respected, but in some way, it bothered her that the druid magic didn't recognise the difference between good and bad.
It was an impartial tool with no bias, and yet there was no justice to it, only strict fairness. This part of her was still against giving in, but the rest of her thought it made more sense to learn it, so she would be able to use it in the time of need.
Time like trying to bring Regulus back, or saving Draco from bleeding out…
After he was released from the Infirmary, he sought her out to thank her. It was quite out of character for him to thank her so openly, but it felt good to know he actually is aware that 'thank you' exists.
She couldn't help but wonder, if she managed to make his dark mark stop hurting now, if she was more experienced and became more powerful, would she be able to completely heal him off of it?
She was grateful she could perform the old magic at all…
The seasonal festive rituals she took part in, with her family were keeping her connection to the nature steady, if it wasn't for them she would not be able to use her magical core to channel the essence of magical energy, and she would not manage to save Draco.
But, being able to barely use it and choosing not to, was not the same as being able to use is very well and choosing not to.
But the tricky thing about the old magic, was that you had to keep practicing to become more powerful and stronger. However, knowing it well wouldn't hurt, especially in uncertain times such as these.
But, what if she would not be able to stop?
What if it consumed her like it did with Morgana?
What if, instead of her learning to control it, it would begin to control her instead?
Remembering how good it felt when she used Merlin's spell on Draco, she began to feel uncertain. What would Harry and Ron think if they knew? What would the order think of her if they found out?
Dark magic was dangerous, but Druid magic was lethal if you weren't strong enough to resist it. And that's if you had the right sort of the connection with nature and… were able to stomach it in the first place.
Was Hermione strong enough?
She had her doubts after getting so consumed by her desire to see Regulus again, to save him from death. But maybe, if she practiced enough, if she made herself strong enough, maybe she could at least save Draco.
Maybe she could make a difference in this war?
'Magical energy is a force that is alive on its own, it is as much our friend as it is an authority we answer to, and a tool for us to use... The balance must always be restored to the nature, and as long as we ensure that, we will become a part of it, and it is up to us how we use it.'
Remembering her grandfather's words, she sent the letter and went back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
My darling readers!
First of all I want to thank you all for all the reviews!
It feels great reading them and it seems like you're enjoying this story so far. I hope you won't be too disappointed with the leading paring (which will reveal itself soon in the upcoming chapters).
(By the way, the bets are between Hermione x Draco and Hermione x Regulus.)
It's a real pleasure hearing what the readers think, so please continue to share your thoughts with me! :)
I have a semi-plan for the rest storyline, which I now must execute, but I want to do it as well as I can and take my time with it, so that both you and myself will be happy with it.
Previously, I posted new chapters whenever I wanted to, because I have little patience for these things, and I was just too excited so I ended up posting a chapter every two days.
Sadly I can't do that anymore. I've neglected my uni work considerably, and I'm in my second year so I can't mess this up.
So, for the next 4 weeks I will be updating this story only once a week, because I have a final deadline coming up and the majority of my focus needs to be somewhere else. But as soon as that's done, I plan to update this story twice a week hopefully, depending on how fast I can type up new chapters.
Lots of love,
Livxoxo