Devil Theory - thanks for the tip, is great when people point out stuff. Haven't actually seen season eight yet, only seen one episode with O'Neill in charge which sort of captured my imagination. :D

How much do I love all my reviewers? So much you get another chapter.

(Bonus points for those who can spot the two references to two other brilliant sci-fi programmes.)

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07:00

General O'Neill's life is in danger. Grave, grave danger. And he is nowhere to be found.

07:45

Have informed Siler of the crisis, he looked rather crestfallen and muttered something about a team bonding exercise. Men of Siler's age should not be allowed to pout. His boys are now quietly checking every storage cupboard, weapons locker and vent shaft in the building. No matter how well they know this place, time is the biggest constraint, I honestly don't think we can cover the base in time.

09:00

He's got to be hiding. Why is he hiding? That's not his normal reaction to life threatening situations…he knows I'm looking for him, that's the only answer. Gah, doesn't he know I'm trying to help? No, of course he doesn't, he doesn't even know what's going on.

Maybe he does and he's decided to…Hah. Yeah right. This place has driven me insane already.

09:30

Not that this is the first, nor sadly the last time, the mans life has been in danger but still. It is my responsibility to ensure the smooth running of this base. The murder of the base commander does not constitute smooth running. And the paperwork is nightmare.

10:30

Gah, what do I do, I can hardly announce it over the tannoy. If he's hiding himself so well the techs can't find him quietly the grunts are hardly gonna manage it.

10:59

Oh, God. I can't be too late can I?

11:04

Arrrgh.

11:07

Dr Jackson and Teal'c! Surely one of them will know where he's hiding.

11:16

Was delighted when entered Dr Jackson's office to find him rolling about on the floor half mummified in sticky tape, was certain it was O'Neill's work. Turns out he did it himself.

I swear I'm going to come in one year and find he's garrotted himself with the stuff, not that that would really cause much of an upset to the running of things. I'm getting quite adept at scheduling in Daniel Jackson wake's and Welcome Back to Life parties. I've got to be the only man on the planet who has to worry about what type of bunting to order for a "Welcome back to the lower planes of existence" reception party.

12:41

I do not have time for this. How the grunts have managed to lock themselves in the bathrooms that have no locks I don't know. Why on earth was I called for this, where on earth is Siler?

13:00

Realised why General O'Neill is hiding, bloody nurses. Bloody needles. Why I thought he'd be hiding in the infirmary I don't know…My bum hurts.

On another note, found Siler.

14:55

Teal'c just walked down the corridor carrying a 5ft tall pink box. I think I really have cracked. I just don't want to know. Didn't quite have the courage to go and ask him if he knew where O'Neill was, he seemed very focused on…something.

15:15

O'Neill still missing. Bum still hurts. Jaffa and pink box still running around in head.

16:07

Botanists have commandeered three labs for that over-grown overly amorous plant of theirs. I tried getting rid of it but General O'Neill overrode me, he's quite fond of it after the Kinsey incident, it was all I could do to stop him giving it a formal commendation. Closest I've come to him was finding a note on the door to its room telling me quite firmly to keep my hands off of Harvey…

Harvey?

18:01

I take it the plummeting blur that just fell from the roof belongs to Siler. They're taking after him already, how sweet. At least they're still looking. Well, the ones that aren't unconscious anyway.

19:42

Have checked with perimeter controls for the fifth time. He is definitely on base, either that or he's disguising himself very well as a tree. Or he's been beamed away by al…oh shit.

20:00

No alarms have gone of. I don't understand this, how can the base commander go missing and no one notice? Chaos follows the man, its not as if he blends in terribly well…excluding all those years of special training but oh just shut up.

21:10

Oh God, that was scary.

21:12

I had to do that, I mean what would you do confronted with a very pissed of air force officer capable of killing you with her pinky?

21:13

Yes OK, I suppose "lie" wasn't the answer most people would come up with. I think we've been through the whole self-preservation thing.

21:16

Am rather traumatised at the moment, I don't think I could cope with Col. Carter's reaction to the situation so I lied. OK? And yes I realise that lying to a superior officer is generally…frowned upon but I'm certain Gen. O'Neill would appreciate my preventing the trauma that the truth would have created and forestall any impeding court marshals. If he's still alive by the end of the day.

22:26

Finally caught up with General O'Neill 28 floors down, in a storage cupboard, hiding under a fort of fruit loops boxes, twitching slightly. May not have been the best time but delivered the news. The resulting profanity scared the birds off the top of the mountain.

22:27

Idiot forgets Carter's birthday every year.

They just don't pay me enough for this.