09:00
Siler's wrench and I are off to explain to General O'Neill why we don't charter a private jet to deliver several bouquets of flowers and try to file
it under "Expenses."
09:45
General O'Neill has gone missing. Either he's hiding from me - unlikely (…best return that wrench to Siler), the flowers didn't arrive in time and he's dead, (hope not, the paperwork's a nightmare…on plus side new CO may be easier to train), or they did arrive in time, Carter was very impressed and
the two of them are off - bad Walter, bad! Nothing inappropriate. Regulations. Which we all know that General O'Neill would never break.
09:50
Snark. Yeah, right.
09:51
Fishing. That's the Carter-O'Neill euphemism isn't it? Only O'Neill could have the word 'fishing' used as a euphemism for sex, I mean, really.
And the one time they do go 'fishing'? Daniel and Teal'C go too. I just don't wanna think about that one.
09:53
Shudder.
09:55
Bad, bad images.
11:00
OK. Generally speaking: Loud noises bad.
Trembling floor bad.
Loud noises + trembling floor very bad.
12:00
It's all right, we're not being attacked. It was just another wonderfully successful science experiment.
12:20
I swear it's a miracle this mountain is still structurally intact. And it's beyond a miracle that Siler's not died as many times as Dr. Jackson. I swear,
that we could put that man in a box of C4, set it off, and he'd still stagger out complaining he doesn't need to go to the infirmary.
Note to self - have Siler and techs make sure mountain is still actually structurally intact.
13:00
…Ah.
13:05
Oopsy.
13:10
Apparently, the mountain isn't quite as structurally intact as I thought it was.
13:12
Well, the mountain is, science labs aren't. I think some of the techs might actually be dead. Maybe I should just order them in some red shirts and get it over with.
…I've been spending too much time around General O'Neill.
Note to self: Raise odds on no. of techs to survive a week.
14:00
O'Neill back and looking insufferably pleased with himself. Am still trying to fight off images.
15:00
Kinsey's back and looking very pissed off. He had a half hour rant at the General about the incidents of the previous week. Speaking of which - I prevent a major diplomatic incident and get pouted at, Siler sets fire to a Senator and gets filed for promotion. It's not fair.
15:05
He's way out of line with what he's saying to Carter. Hope she hits him. Hard. No wait, I don't, that would lead to court martial… I hope the roof falls in on his head. But not on mine, so a centralised collapse, just over the two meter radius where he's standing.
Note to self: Ask Mackenzie if this is actually possible.
15:0
Oh God. O'Neill overheard what Kinsey just said to Carter.. He's gonna kill him. Seriously.
Not that I'd mind, particularly, but the court-martials and the investigation and the cleaning and the paper work, not so good an idea.
15:08
Oh, Gods.
Think, Walter, think!
Distraction, distraction, come on. Need a distraction. Where are the damn Tok'ra when you need them?
15:10
…
15:40
I…
15:45
I panicked. Okay?
16:00
And all right, so maybe deciding to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" at the top of my lungs wasn't the best-thought-out distraction in the world, but I was under considerable stress!
16:05
Shut up, ok? Just shut up. It worked.
16:09
It worked. The whole base thinks I'm insane, but it worked… General O'Neill is never going to let this one go, is he?
16:12
Shoot me, shoot me now.
16:20
Siler's made another break for freedom from the Infirmary. Kinsey must have left; strangely enough, I think one of his guards is still here. I'll have someone escort him off base.
16:30
O'Neill has just admitted me into the infirmary for a full psych evaluation. I hate that man.
I swear if Siler (now drugged and half asleep) makes one more straight-faced comment about it, I'm gonna kill him. One more: "Whoever said patriotism never saved lives?" and he's a dead man.
16:40
Siler sleeping. Nurses gone. No visitors, bored now.
17:00
Senator Kinsey has just been admitted to the infirmary with an oversized spanner lodged somewhere unsightly. I really need to speak to Siler about this.
18:00
Apparently, Colonel Carter didn't realise Siler was quite that protective of her. Geniuses are such idiots. I mean, be serious here. Would a pyromaniac be impressed by a woman who blew up a sun? Let me think.
It's a match made in a very fiery and explosive hell. God knows what the kids would be like. Speaking of, being Godfather to Siler's sprites, I think I have a fairly good idea. This is one of the few times I'm glad for Carter and O'Neill's obsession with one another. Come to think of it, I dread to think what their children would be like too, although less for the potential fire risk and more for the sanity damage. Something that looks as angelic as a Carter child and had the demonic mind of O'Neill would be unstoppable.
I have a moral obligation to the world to prevent them breeding.
18:20
Ugh, I feel like my head is living in a horrific B movie: Return of the Sanity-Eating ImageMonster. Now in Technicolor.
19:00
General O'Neill now alternating between humming "Let's go Fishing," "The Star Spangled Banner," and "I'm Too Sexy" through the base intercom.
19:50
O'Neill still singing. Doctor's here for psych evaluation.
20:00
Just shoot me now.
-----
Good little readers leave reviews. Bad little readers get locked in a sealed room with Kinsey.