0800
This has to be a joke.
0802
How can you faila psychological evaluation? According to this it's dangerous to be anywhere withing in a three mile radius of me.
0810
My simple presence counts as a mental health hazard. Nurses are demanding extra pay relative to their proximity to me.
0815
I have the slightest suspicion the nurses may and I stress may be exploiting this situation to their own benefit. There is no reason on earth I need seven consecutive sponge baths. Suddenly I constitute a mental health hazard and I've never been so popular in my life. I don't think its me they should be running the psych tests on.
0830
Probably shouldn't mention that to Nurses, god knows what we'd wind up paying them.
0900
Couldn't sleep last night either. Nightmares.
0910
I was plagued by visions of a toddler sized O'Neill spawn with Carter's face chasing me around base on a mini death glider with wheels. It was bloody terrifying.
Thankfully, I was rescued by Teal'c in a pink tutu before the gate guards finished the interpretative bolero about my agonising death .
I don't believe I started that sentence with "Thankfully."
0920
I don't believe I started that sentence at all.
0930
Maybe it's time I switched to decaff.
1000
Nurses shift change - freedom here I come! I need a drink.
1100
Bastard.
1110
I hate him. What did I do to deserve this? I want General Hammond back, none of this would have happened under him.
1130
He never locked anyone up under suspicion of being an alien impostor because they ordered decaff. Never once.
And my coffee dependence is not that bad!
1200
…I think my hand is beginning to tremor.
1230
On plus side, incarceration may help aid me avoid one of Siler's sprites birthday parties later on this week. Last time I attended one of those I wound up in hospital. The bloody blast was picked up by Norad, the entire base went onto defcom 3. Had fun explaining that one to General Hammond.
1300
Siler visiting, that's sweet, at least someone on base doesn't think I'm deranged and/or an alien. Either that or once again he's spectacularly failed to understand the concept of "danger".
1330
Siler is beginning to sulk over not having his favourite spanner anymore. I was maybe a little unsympathetic, told him he should be more careful where he put it if he wanted it kept and now he's not speaking to me.
1400
I mean really. Unmentionable areas of Kinsey's anatomy are not a good place to put it if you want it back in a hurry. Hardly one of the best places on base for convenient-GAAH!
1405
Oh God I just read that back over, I hate my head. I'm beginning to think the psychological results were right.
1500
Siler's puppy-dog-eyes have ensured the operation to remove the nasty politician from his beloved spanner has been scheduled. He says he's worried about possible damage or corrosion.
I don't want to know.
Nurses are trying to claim hazard pay.
1700
Kinsey was successfully detached from Siler's beloved spanner. Bloodsuckers are now trying to claim mental health damages in addition to hazard pay. I pity the poor bloke that has to deal with that claims form.
1800
Psychologists and nurses are arguing over whose custody I should be in. Isn't it nice to feel so loved, time to make a break for it.
1900
Damn psychologists still after me, have decided to hide under conveniently constructed fort of fruit loop boxes in a storage cupboard.
1925
This place is actually kinda creepy.
1932
I think there might be something else in here with me…
2118
Arg! Not good, woke up screaming after another nightmare involving O'Neill spawn burying me alive in fruit loops.
2132
Due to twisted psyche that hates me storage cupboard is no longer safe. Am relocating to office. Have no desire to be caught by evil nurses who think I'm depriving them of bonus pay.
2200
Office is filled with nurses brandishing hazard claims forms.
I'm a dead man.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Probably should have specified non-reviewers would be at mercy of Kinsey and not the other way around (You're all pyschopaths, you know that don't you?) Speaking of -good little reviers canhave Kinsey taped to a chair and St Siler the Burny's toys to play with. :D