0900
Well, I wish I could say this was a surprise.
0915
It told them this place would fall apart without me, but did they listen? Oh, no.
1000
At some point during my two-week vacation, General O'Neill decided it would be a good idea to barricade the base, seal off the mountain, and declare it a sovereign country.
1020
Negotiations with His Majesty, King Jack the Sexy and Wonderful of the Magical Kingdom of Oz are not going well.
1040
It's scary how reality is beginning to resemble my dreams.
1052
Maybe I'm becoming prophetic.
1104
Oh, God no, that's not a good thought. In fact that's a very, very bad thought. Maybe I'll confine Siler to base and try and stay away from large amounts of strawberry-lemon custard, just to be on the safe side.
…don't ask.
1123
Oh, dear.
1126
We've just received some very joyous news from the Magical Kingdom of Oz.
1132
Oh, God.
1134
He's gone and done it.
He's proposed.
1147
He's a dead man.
1153
She accepted.
1200
He's a dead man.
1222
Pentagon is not impressed. Don't wanna know what the IC is gonna do.
1223
Or worse still, General Carter. Oh, God, General Carter…
1235
He is such a dead man.
1247
On plus side, Gen. Carter may be out of practice. I mean, its not like he's had to deal with any of Carter's prospective partners before. Not as if they ever last long enough.
1300
I swear O'Neill is behind the boyfriend thing. Every single one of them has either gone insane or died. Or both.
1329
No one's luck can be that bad. Or that good, from O'Neill's point of view. He has the contacts – call to the Asgard here, trip to the Pentagon there, and bam - potential threat No. 7 gets a little too friendly with the butt end of a falling satellite.
1334
So do you think that the converse applies, and Rodney McKay is going to live a long and healthy life? Well they've shipped him off to Pegasus. If he survives that we'll know well enough.
1347
He did survive the "dumb blonde" incident – that was no small thing.
1355
Hammond had to confiscate every weapon on base from O'Neill, and then found him trying to garrote McKay with his yo-yo.
1407
I had to stop Siler going for the Napalm. Talk about overreaction.
1416
On the plus side, if he isn't responsible for it, he'll be dead before they have the chance to get married, so they won't be able to fire him, ha.
1422
I'm beginning to think there is a flaw in that logic.
1434
General Hammond is so going to fire my ass.
1442
This is so unfair. I'm going to get fired for going on holiday.
1456
On the plus side, I'll be the first man in history to be fired because his superior decided to claim his secret underground facility a sovereign country.
1501
And refuse to speak with his "old" government until he's successfully re-negotiated all the treaties with the people through the Magical Shiny Pond Ring.
1513
Oh yeah, so court-martialed.
1522
Bomb Squad have determined there aren't any claymores in the large piles of mashed potatoes outside the entrance. Just mashed potatoes. Scientists are still advising Hazmat's. Chef's trying to claim compensation.
1530
And the nurses.
1537
Still no word from King Jack the Sexy and Wonderful, nor from the 1/3 of the base population that didn't manage to make it out before the first self-destruct countdown that sealed off the base.
1541
Or, as it's now called, the Shiny Happy Countdown of Doom.
1600
Hm, this is a bad idea. Generals have decided to send down a few Redshirts along with one of Siler's boys. Fire Fodder #3 as Siler so helpfully named him. I think. It's a little difficult to tell them apart.
1609
Usually not much point in learning to, they have an average life span less than one of Carter's potentials.
1633
Uh oh.
1657
No, I am not hiding. Hiding is undignified and unbecoming of a USAF man.
1723
Although, this does indicate that my sense of self-preservation is coming along nicely. Maybe I should just sneak away and head back to Hawaii.
1743
They have distinctly less bald angry Generals than Colorado Springs.
1757
Maybe if I just close my eyes, this will all just be a bad dream.
1812
Please?
1830
OK. So it's not like I expected that to work.
1847
What's that noise?
1904
In retrospect, I admit. I probably should have checked whose trunk I was hiding in before I got in it.
1930
Shit.
2000.
General, sir…meep.
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