Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros Melee, The National Enquirer (or however its spelled), Court TV, or the Judge Judy show.
Hey! This is a little something I've been working on for a good while now. I thought I'd give this a shot and post this. It's a bit of a parody from a certain part in a movie I saw ("Arabian Nights" I think... I don't know I can't remember. I watched it in school). There is a lot of swearing and what might possibly be sick humor in this. So beware. If you don't like fics like that, then I would suggest that you not read this. But if you do like those kind of fics, then by all means, start reading and leave a nice little review when your done. Flames are welcome because I now find them amusing. Hehehe.
Warning! If you like or absolutely love Mario, then don't read this! There is extreme Mario bashing in this!
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I Killed Mario....
By: Zorra Lombardi
Chapter 1: 12:00 Midnight
It was his usual routine every night. The infamous Mario Mario had gotten out of his nice, comfortable bed for a midnight snack. He blinked several times as he slowly made his way into the kitchen. He approached the refrigderator and opened the door and began inspecting anything that was edible. He smiled. "Time for a little snack."
In Mario's case, this was more of a midnight feast than a snack. His so called "snack" had consisted of left-over pizza, two TV dinners, a pice of cherry pie, turkey, three tacos, four burittoes, pasta, and ravioli. The kitchen was now decorated with dirty dishes. Just the way it looked every night when Mario came in for his "snack". He was nearly through with his nightly feedings and grabbed the last thing he saw that seemed good enough to eat. A piece of fried fish.
By this time, Mario's brother had entered the kitchen while yawning. Luigi had observed his surroundings for a second until he relized that his brother had been pigging out on anything that he could get his hands on. Since he had become used to Mario's strange little routines, Luigi just shook his head and walked over to the sink to get a glass of water. "You know Mario, one day, Peach will kill you if she finds out your the one who leaves these dishes for her to clean in the mornings."
Mario snickered. "Nah, Peach wouldn't kill me. I'm her sweet and innocent little man."
Luigi almost laughed, but smiled wryly instead. "Sweet and innocent? Bullshit! Your just a big fat pig, who just happens to always catch Peach on her good side everyday."
"Well, as long as I keep blaming this mess on you, she'll never suspect its me making the mess." Mario smiled at his brother, showing his teeth in the process.
Luigi suddenly had to push back the urge he was instantly getting to punch Mario in his fat face. "Yeah, and I wish you'd stop blaming me for everything YOU do that gets others in trouble! Because of it, I am now forced to eat nothing but vegetables for a week at dinner!"
"Your just jealous that I'm more famous and loved than you'll ever be and the fact that I can actually pick up some chicks." Mario said, still grinning as he grasped the fried fish firmly in his hand.
Luigi's eye started twitching and he coldly said, "I am not jealous of YOU! And I could pick up girls if I wanted, but I have more important things to do than go riding around in Peach's pink corvette, without a license, just to show off a stupid red hat and overalls!"
Mario continues to smile as he took notice of his brother's twitching eye. Taunting Luigi about his own fame was always one of Mario's favorite spare-time activities. "I pity you, brother dearest. Being jealous is completely natural. You'll get over it one day. Maybe you'll even have some fans of your own too. I don't know how many, but you'll have some."
At the rate Luigi's anger was growing, his brother could have most likely seen steam coming out of his ears as he shot a death glare at Mario. "Shut up you fat bastard! I fucking hate you!"
"Strong words, but they don't hurt me. They're actually amusing. Though, you could never really hate me. Your my brother and no matter what our differences are, we're supposed to look out for each other. You'd never turn your back on me, Luigi. I know you wouldn't. I mean its not like if I were dying then you'd just be rolling on the ground laughing at me." Mario chuckled at that thought as he shoved the entire piece of fish into his mouth and began to chew. As soon as he was done, he swallowed his chewed up food. Although, he didn't completely swallow it this time. Mario grasped his neck and gagged out, "Fishbone!" [This was also an idea that I had gotten. I heard this on the radio once. Yeah I know, its crazy.]
Luigi managed to raise an eyebrow at Mario while being angry with him at the same time. Mario had now began to run around the kitchen in circles, grasping his neck and screaming, "Fishbone!" over and over again. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"
Though Mario couldn't properly respond to Luigi's question, he tried to reply by keeping one hand over his neck and the other pointing at his opened mouth. "Fishbone!" Mario gagged, once again.
The thought of Mario actually choking on a fishbone came to Luigi's mind at first. Until another thought came to mind. He smirked as he then assumed that Mario was only doing this for attention like always. "Nice try Mario, but if you really want to attract a huge crowd to show me up, I'm afraid you'll have to do a great deal better than this."
Mario continued to run around the kitchen. He was truly trying to get his brother's attention. Though Luigi wasn't about to give his brother any attention at all. Luigi was nowhere near to the point where he was going to pity or help Mario. Instead, Luigi started to laugh at his brother's actions, finding them to be completely amusing. He was completely unaware that Mario really was choking and was in serious need of help as he continued to gag out, "Fishbone!"
It became obvious that Luigi wasn't going to help Mario. In fact, he was finding this whole little "act" amusing. So amusing that Luigi had suddenly fallen to the floor and started rolling around in complete laughter at his brother. Mario was now jumping around, flailing one arm in the air, trying to get Luigi to notice what was really happening. This continued for almost another minute. Up until Mario suddenly dropped to his knees, still grasping his neck, now weakly. His eyes then rolled to the back of his head after he gagged out another "Fishbone!". He then went limp and silent as he fell forward, landing on several uncleaned dishes, his face in a bowl that contained the remnants of a cherry pie.
Luigi, however, still continued to laugh his ass off for what seemed like five more minutes after Mario went face-first into what was left of a cherry pie. He finally regained his composure and stood up, smiling down at his brother, unaware that he was now an only child in his family. "Well, I gotta hand it to you, Mario. You think your so funny, and you are. And that's about the only thing that I love about you. Oh wait! I hate you. Heh, I guess it should now be another thing I hate about you. Right, bro?"
Mario didn't answer. Nor did he move. Although, this did not concern Luigi in the least. When Mario didn't answer, Luigi simply snorted and kicked Mario hard in his side. "Hey! I asked you a question, you stupid asshole! Your supposed to answer me and say yes! Got that?!"
The infamous plumber remained silent and motionless. This resulted in more hard kicks to the side and several dishes thrown at the back of his neck. "MARIO! Answer me, damnit!"
Luigi continued to throw dishes at Mario for a good while and kept yelling to answer him. Until Luigi ran out of dishes and just glared down at Mario, growling at him. He then raised his eyebrows in a strange curiosity after a while. "Mario?"
This little situation was becoming very intruiging to Luigi. It was not like Mario to ignore anyone or stay motionless for more than a good while. He cautiously began to approach him. "Mario? Are you that mad at me now? Why aren't you answering me with your snide remarks like you always do?" He knelt down next to Mario and poked at the back of his head for a couple of seconds. Then, out of curiosity, he slowly reached out and grabbed Mario's wrist. He placed two fingers on Mario's wrist and kept them there for a minute. Then Luigi's eyes went wide and he instantly stood up and stared down in horror at his brother. "Oh-no! He's dead! Mario's dead! I killed Mario!"
Luigi gasped at his own words and fell to his knees. He figured that Mario must have kicked the bucket when he threw all of those dishes at the back of his neck. His gaze directed to the wall as he then relized another possible reason for Mario's death: the word "Fishbone!" came to mind. A huge wave of relief flooded Luigi at that moment. He couldn't have possibly killed Mario. He died before Luigi started throwing dishes at him. Or did he? Luigi's gaze was now directed off to nothingness as soon as he assumed that Mario died of choking on fishbone. "My dreams have come true... Mario's finally dead at long last!" His lips curled into a stupid smile that even Luigi himself would laugh at. "Mario's dead. Hehehe, I can finally get all of the attention that I deserve! Women will love me now instead of men who think I'm gay because they see Mario surrounded by girls while I'm following behind when we're walking on the streets. I'll finally get some respect!"
His stupid smile quickly turned back into a horrified look as another possibility for his future came to mind. "Wait! What if I get blamed for Mario's death? What if a bunch of cops come here? What if they ask me what happened? What am I gonna tell them? What if they hall me off to the pokey in a police car?" Luigi gasped. "Or worse..." His pupils suddenly dialated themselves. "What if they don't believe my side of the story and hall me off in a looney van?" He trembled in horror as he thought of every possibility in his own little worst-case scenerio. One in particular literally caused him to start shaking his frilly green house slippers as he silently asked himself, "What if they make me go on Judge Judy?!"
Just the thought of even watching Court TV again made Luigi go numb. He suddenly stood up. "No! I will not let that happen. Hell, I can't even tell the cops what really happened. They'll never believe the fact that Mario had an accidental death in front of his own brother. I sure as hell know that they'll never believe that I didn't kill Mario on purpose." Luigi looked down at his dead brother in determination. "There's only one thing for me to do." He took a deep breath. "I'll have to get rid of Mario's body without getting caught somehow."
By this time, Luigi began to pace around the filthy kitchen as he contemplated on how he was actually going to do this. "Hmm... I can't hide him in a closet. That would really become too obvious. Besides, he'd start to smell and stink up the whole building." He continued to pace and then scratched the back of his head. "I can't exactly make it look like Mario commited suicide. That would actually be kind of stupid. Especially when it reaches the headlines in the newspaper when his body is found." Luigi then closed his eyes and shook his head and then said in sarcasm, "Oh yeah, I can literally see it now." He pictured the newspaper headlines in head.
"Famous Plumber mysteriously takes his own life with fishbone.... Why? He had it all?..... Mario's death, no accident..... Mario's brother, imprisoned for life for the death of his brother, without peroll..... "
Luigi shuddered at the thoughts of those headlines. "I can only hope that those just make The National Enquirer." He sighed and stopped pacing. "Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to be blamed for this no matter what I do with Mario's body." He said in defeat and frustration.
Just then, an idea instantly came to mind. And idea that was sure to save his own freedom. "I've got it!" He yelled to himself as the stupid smile returned to his face. "They can't blame me if they find Mario dead on one of Dr. Mario's operating tables."
To Be Continued....
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Chapter 2: 12:51 a.m.
- After finding his motionless counter-part on one of his operating tables, and after several times of recesitation, Dr. Mario loses a patient.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yeah, I know. Sick and cruel humor. My style of writing has changed a lot, hasn't it? Oh, about the deal with my MVC series. I'm stuck on MVC2 for the next chapter. Its going to take me a while to post an update, but it won't be as long as it took to post the last one. I will update MVC2 before christmas. That's all I can promise right now. And MVC Revised, I need to type the next chapter. Now that marching season is over, I have more free time. So I'll get to typing the next chapter very soon. Anyway, I have a small favor to ask of you. Please grab your mouse and move the pointer to the button on the bottom left and then click on it. Leave a nice little review. Please? For me? gives an adorable little sweet smile
Oh BTW! Does anyone have or know of a good Super Smash Bros Melee or Nintendo website that posts fanfiction? If so, I would really love to post my Mario's Video Cam fics and my others. I'm looking for a new place to post them since I no longer trust FF.net. Especially with my PG-13 and R-rated fics. If you know of or own a SSBM website, let me know. ^_^
-Zorra
Hey! This is a little something I've been working on for a good while now. I thought I'd give this a shot and post this. It's a bit of a parody from a certain part in a movie I saw ("Arabian Nights" I think... I don't know I can't remember. I watched it in school). There is a lot of swearing and what might possibly be sick humor in this. So beware. If you don't like fics like that, then I would suggest that you not read this. But if you do like those kind of fics, then by all means, start reading and leave a nice little review when your done. Flames are welcome because I now find them amusing. Hehehe.
Warning! If you like or absolutely love Mario, then don't read this! There is extreme Mario bashing in this!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Killed Mario....
By: Zorra Lombardi
Chapter 1: 12:00 Midnight
It was his usual routine every night. The infamous Mario Mario had gotten out of his nice, comfortable bed for a midnight snack. He blinked several times as he slowly made his way into the kitchen. He approached the refrigderator and opened the door and began inspecting anything that was edible. He smiled. "Time for a little snack."
In Mario's case, this was more of a midnight feast than a snack. His so called "snack" had consisted of left-over pizza, two TV dinners, a pice of cherry pie, turkey, three tacos, four burittoes, pasta, and ravioli. The kitchen was now decorated with dirty dishes. Just the way it looked every night when Mario came in for his "snack". He was nearly through with his nightly feedings and grabbed the last thing he saw that seemed good enough to eat. A piece of fried fish.
By this time, Mario's brother had entered the kitchen while yawning. Luigi had observed his surroundings for a second until he relized that his brother had been pigging out on anything that he could get his hands on. Since he had become used to Mario's strange little routines, Luigi just shook his head and walked over to the sink to get a glass of water. "You know Mario, one day, Peach will kill you if she finds out your the one who leaves these dishes for her to clean in the mornings."
Mario snickered. "Nah, Peach wouldn't kill me. I'm her sweet and innocent little man."
Luigi almost laughed, but smiled wryly instead. "Sweet and innocent? Bullshit! Your just a big fat pig, who just happens to always catch Peach on her good side everyday."
"Well, as long as I keep blaming this mess on you, she'll never suspect its me making the mess." Mario smiled at his brother, showing his teeth in the process.
Luigi suddenly had to push back the urge he was instantly getting to punch Mario in his fat face. "Yeah, and I wish you'd stop blaming me for everything YOU do that gets others in trouble! Because of it, I am now forced to eat nothing but vegetables for a week at dinner!"
"Your just jealous that I'm more famous and loved than you'll ever be and the fact that I can actually pick up some chicks." Mario said, still grinning as he grasped the fried fish firmly in his hand.
Luigi's eye started twitching and he coldly said, "I am not jealous of YOU! And I could pick up girls if I wanted, but I have more important things to do than go riding around in Peach's pink corvette, without a license, just to show off a stupid red hat and overalls!"
Mario continues to smile as he took notice of his brother's twitching eye. Taunting Luigi about his own fame was always one of Mario's favorite spare-time activities. "I pity you, brother dearest. Being jealous is completely natural. You'll get over it one day. Maybe you'll even have some fans of your own too. I don't know how many, but you'll have some."
At the rate Luigi's anger was growing, his brother could have most likely seen steam coming out of his ears as he shot a death glare at Mario. "Shut up you fat bastard! I fucking hate you!"
"Strong words, but they don't hurt me. They're actually amusing. Though, you could never really hate me. Your my brother and no matter what our differences are, we're supposed to look out for each other. You'd never turn your back on me, Luigi. I know you wouldn't. I mean its not like if I were dying then you'd just be rolling on the ground laughing at me." Mario chuckled at that thought as he shoved the entire piece of fish into his mouth and began to chew. As soon as he was done, he swallowed his chewed up food. Although, he didn't completely swallow it this time. Mario grasped his neck and gagged out, "Fishbone!" [This was also an idea that I had gotten. I heard this on the radio once. Yeah I know, its crazy.]
Luigi managed to raise an eyebrow at Mario while being angry with him at the same time. Mario had now began to run around the kitchen in circles, grasping his neck and screaming, "Fishbone!" over and over again. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"
Though Mario couldn't properly respond to Luigi's question, he tried to reply by keeping one hand over his neck and the other pointing at his opened mouth. "Fishbone!" Mario gagged, once again.
The thought of Mario actually choking on a fishbone came to Luigi's mind at first. Until another thought came to mind. He smirked as he then assumed that Mario was only doing this for attention like always. "Nice try Mario, but if you really want to attract a huge crowd to show me up, I'm afraid you'll have to do a great deal better than this."
Mario continued to run around the kitchen. He was truly trying to get his brother's attention. Though Luigi wasn't about to give his brother any attention at all. Luigi was nowhere near to the point where he was going to pity or help Mario. Instead, Luigi started to laugh at his brother's actions, finding them to be completely amusing. He was completely unaware that Mario really was choking and was in serious need of help as he continued to gag out, "Fishbone!"
It became obvious that Luigi wasn't going to help Mario. In fact, he was finding this whole little "act" amusing. So amusing that Luigi had suddenly fallen to the floor and started rolling around in complete laughter at his brother. Mario was now jumping around, flailing one arm in the air, trying to get Luigi to notice what was really happening. This continued for almost another minute. Up until Mario suddenly dropped to his knees, still grasping his neck, now weakly. His eyes then rolled to the back of his head after he gagged out another "Fishbone!". He then went limp and silent as he fell forward, landing on several uncleaned dishes, his face in a bowl that contained the remnants of a cherry pie.
Luigi, however, still continued to laugh his ass off for what seemed like five more minutes after Mario went face-first into what was left of a cherry pie. He finally regained his composure and stood up, smiling down at his brother, unaware that he was now an only child in his family. "Well, I gotta hand it to you, Mario. You think your so funny, and you are. And that's about the only thing that I love about you. Oh wait! I hate you. Heh, I guess it should now be another thing I hate about you. Right, bro?"
Mario didn't answer. Nor did he move. Although, this did not concern Luigi in the least. When Mario didn't answer, Luigi simply snorted and kicked Mario hard in his side. "Hey! I asked you a question, you stupid asshole! Your supposed to answer me and say yes! Got that?!"
The infamous plumber remained silent and motionless. This resulted in more hard kicks to the side and several dishes thrown at the back of his neck. "MARIO! Answer me, damnit!"
Luigi continued to throw dishes at Mario for a good while and kept yelling to answer him. Until Luigi ran out of dishes and just glared down at Mario, growling at him. He then raised his eyebrows in a strange curiosity after a while. "Mario?"
This little situation was becoming very intruiging to Luigi. It was not like Mario to ignore anyone or stay motionless for more than a good while. He cautiously began to approach him. "Mario? Are you that mad at me now? Why aren't you answering me with your snide remarks like you always do?" He knelt down next to Mario and poked at the back of his head for a couple of seconds. Then, out of curiosity, he slowly reached out and grabbed Mario's wrist. He placed two fingers on Mario's wrist and kept them there for a minute. Then Luigi's eyes went wide and he instantly stood up and stared down in horror at his brother. "Oh-no! He's dead! Mario's dead! I killed Mario!"
Luigi gasped at his own words and fell to his knees. He figured that Mario must have kicked the bucket when he threw all of those dishes at the back of his neck. His gaze directed to the wall as he then relized another possible reason for Mario's death: the word "Fishbone!" came to mind. A huge wave of relief flooded Luigi at that moment. He couldn't have possibly killed Mario. He died before Luigi started throwing dishes at him. Or did he? Luigi's gaze was now directed off to nothingness as soon as he assumed that Mario died of choking on fishbone. "My dreams have come true... Mario's finally dead at long last!" His lips curled into a stupid smile that even Luigi himself would laugh at. "Mario's dead. Hehehe, I can finally get all of the attention that I deserve! Women will love me now instead of men who think I'm gay because they see Mario surrounded by girls while I'm following behind when we're walking on the streets. I'll finally get some respect!"
His stupid smile quickly turned back into a horrified look as another possibility for his future came to mind. "Wait! What if I get blamed for Mario's death? What if a bunch of cops come here? What if they ask me what happened? What am I gonna tell them? What if they hall me off to the pokey in a police car?" Luigi gasped. "Or worse..." His pupils suddenly dialated themselves. "What if they don't believe my side of the story and hall me off in a looney van?" He trembled in horror as he thought of every possibility in his own little worst-case scenerio. One in particular literally caused him to start shaking his frilly green house slippers as he silently asked himself, "What if they make me go on Judge Judy?!"
Just the thought of even watching Court TV again made Luigi go numb. He suddenly stood up. "No! I will not let that happen. Hell, I can't even tell the cops what really happened. They'll never believe the fact that Mario had an accidental death in front of his own brother. I sure as hell know that they'll never believe that I didn't kill Mario on purpose." Luigi looked down at his dead brother in determination. "There's only one thing for me to do." He took a deep breath. "I'll have to get rid of Mario's body without getting caught somehow."
By this time, Luigi began to pace around the filthy kitchen as he contemplated on how he was actually going to do this. "Hmm... I can't hide him in a closet. That would really become too obvious. Besides, he'd start to smell and stink up the whole building." He continued to pace and then scratched the back of his head. "I can't exactly make it look like Mario commited suicide. That would actually be kind of stupid. Especially when it reaches the headlines in the newspaper when his body is found." Luigi then closed his eyes and shook his head and then said in sarcasm, "Oh yeah, I can literally see it now." He pictured the newspaper headlines in head.
"Famous Plumber mysteriously takes his own life with fishbone.... Why? He had it all?..... Mario's death, no accident..... Mario's brother, imprisoned for life for the death of his brother, without peroll..... "
Luigi shuddered at the thoughts of those headlines. "I can only hope that those just make The National Enquirer." He sighed and stopped pacing. "Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to be blamed for this no matter what I do with Mario's body." He said in defeat and frustration.
Just then, an idea instantly came to mind. And idea that was sure to save his own freedom. "I've got it!" He yelled to himself as the stupid smile returned to his face. "They can't blame me if they find Mario dead on one of Dr. Mario's operating tables."
To Be Continued....
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2: 12:51 a.m.
- After finding his motionless counter-part on one of his operating tables, and after several times of recesitation, Dr. Mario loses a patient.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yeah, I know. Sick and cruel humor. My style of writing has changed a lot, hasn't it? Oh, about the deal with my MVC series. I'm stuck on MVC2 for the next chapter. Its going to take me a while to post an update, but it won't be as long as it took to post the last one. I will update MVC2 before christmas. That's all I can promise right now. And MVC Revised, I need to type the next chapter. Now that marching season is over, I have more free time. So I'll get to typing the next chapter very soon. Anyway, I have a small favor to ask of you. Please grab your mouse and move the pointer to the button on the bottom left and then click on it. Leave a nice little review. Please? For me? gives an adorable little sweet smile
Oh BTW! Does anyone have or know of a good Super Smash Bros Melee or Nintendo website that posts fanfiction? If so, I would really love to post my Mario's Video Cam fics and my others. I'm looking for a new place to post them since I no longer trust FF.net. Especially with my PG-13 and R-rated fics. If you know of or own a SSBM website, let me know. ^_^
-Zorra