Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros Melee, Big Mac sandwichs, the song "Danger Zone" (by Kenny Loggins), Toy Story, or anything else that may seem strange in this fic.

Alright, flame me if you want. I know I haven't updated in more than a year. And I am sorry. It's entirely my fault. I sort of fell into a writer's block after the last chapter and it's been that way ever since. I guess this is just my way of saying, this fanfic is not dead. Hopfully, nor are any of my other projects. So just keep an eye on my works. I might surprise you with another update. Like this. Again, I'm very sorry for the long delay.

Warning! If you absolutely love Mario, then don't read this! There is extreme Mario bashing in this!

IMPLIED YAOI IS ALSO IN THIS! BEWARE! (possibly a future chapter though)

Dragon's Return and Perverted Monk Miroku! This chapter is for both of you!


I Killed Mario...

By: Zorra Lombardi

Chapter 5 - 2:57 a.m.

Revvin' up your engine,
Listen to her howlin' roar,
Metal under tension,
Beggin' you to touch and go,

Highway to the Danger Zone,
Ride into the Danger Zone,

Headin' into twilight,
Spreadin' out her wings tonight,
She got you jumpin' off the deck,
And shovin' into overdrive,

Highway to the Danger Zone,
I'll take you Right into the Danger Zone,

You'll never say hello to you,
Until you get it on the redline overload,
You'll never know what you can do,
Until you get it up as high as you can go,

Out along the edges,
Always where I burn to be,
The further on the edge,
The hotter the intensity,

Highway to the Danger Zone,
Gonna take you Right into the Danger Zone,
Highway to the Danger Zone

A small smile curved it's way onto Captain Falcon's lips as he slept in a peaceful slumber with his CD player. This was his routine every night. He would have his headphones on and would play his favorite song continuously all night. His music would be on a high volume as he dreamed about the love of his life. The only one for him. The one he cared for more than anyone in this world. His galaxy cruiser; the Falcon Flyer.

Captain Falcon had always enjoyed every waking minute spent with his beloved cruiser. Almost daily, he would race, take long trips, take Sunday drives, drag race on streets with normal sized cars (even though they were clearly much smaller than the Falcon Flyer), and receive many tickets afterwards. On slow days, the racer would just go out for a little drive just to show off the Falcon Flyer. He would always drive by and point and laugh at the ones with the small compact cars as he sped right past them. He would also go out and get the Falcon Flyer washed and waxed daily as well, which was always considered to be a real treat for him.

Mewtwo held back as small chuckle as he stood in the doorway to Captain Falcon's room and watched him sleep. The racer had never been more than pathetic the psychic pokemon's eyes. Mewtwo had always taken Captain Falcon to be one of those type of people that obviously had no life with his rather large obsession with his own star cruiser. The fact that Captain Falcon spent more time with the Falcon Flyer than any other living being made this an obvious know fact. This had not included the other fact about Captain Falcon. The one where the racer had always considered himself to be the most strongest and sexiest ladies man in the whole entire group. This was always an amusing thought to Mewtwo. Captain Falcon may have been a good looking handyman with big muscles, but he was one of the most highly dim-witted and brainless people that he had ever seen in existence. The racer is always slow on attacking, gets extremely confused by big words, has a very short attention span, sleeps with a night light, has very late reactions to being punched in the face, and has absolutely no idea where babies come from. Hell,
Young Link could outrank Captain Falcon in an I.Q. test any day.

Smiling in delight, Mewtwo turned to face the body that was Mario's behind him. Using his power, Mewtwo had been levitating Mario into the air, saving him the trouble of carrying his fat ass down the hall. Mewtwo turned back to the sleeping idiot with the headphones. He slowly began to approach Captain Falcon's bed with Mario trailing closely behind in midair. What he had in store for the racer was flawless. This would keep the fingers from ever being pointed at him. This was going to make it seem a lot less obvious that he was responsible for Mario's death.Finding Mario's dead body in Captain Falcon's room was the perfect plan. It was especially brilliant for Mewtwo as Captain Falcon, with his intelligence, had no idea what the words homicide or convicted murderer even meant. Hell, he didn't even know what an insanity plea was. Captain Falcon would have no chance of pleading for his innocence after Mario's body would be found with him.

Now at Captain Falcon's bedside, Mewtwo had first taken notice of the portable CD player on the night stand and then the head phone covering Captain Falcon's ears. He looked back at the CD player and saw something that almost caused him to laugh out loud. The CD player was programed for repeat on track one. Mewtwo closed his eyes and shook his head at this. 'Stupid mortal.' He thought to himself. Captain Falcon had done this every night. He would listen to the same CD on the same track in an endless mode through the night through the early morning hours.

Mewtwo sighed silently as he stared down at Captain Falcon. Not pitying him for his lifestyle in the least. "Falcon, I hope you see the light and actually get a REAL life someday."

Using his mind, Mewtwo moved the levitated lifeless body that was Mario's over to the right side of Captain Falcon's bed. He slipped Mario under the blanket and covered him up to his chin. Mewtwo grinned at the site before him. Captain Falcon in bed with the dead Mario. Interesting. Now if only Captain Falcon's bed sheets had consisted of the Toy Story characters.

Mewtwo, finally feeling relieved for the first time this morning, turned to leave the room. Then he stopped in the doorway as a certain thought just struck his mind. He turned and moved over the night light and, using his mind, unplugged it from the outlet as an after thought. After completing this little task, Mewtwo turned to leave the room, shutting the door quietly behind him as he left.

Shortly after Mewtwo's departure, Captain Falcon began to stir in his sleep. He smiled warmly as he continued to live out his early morning hours in his current dream.

It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining upon the bright green grass. Daisies were blooming everywhere in sight. The rainbow in the sky was just as colorful as ever. And the song that was playing in the background, which was "The Sound of Music", had set the scene for what was about to happen next.

Captain Falcon, stars shining in his visor, was dashing slowly towards the love of his life. He was in a nice tuxedo and his is arms were open with anticipation as he made his was to the one that he would soon call his own. He continued to make large, but slow dashes across the bright field of grass and flowers. He was laughing proudly with every dash and very glad that he was finally going to get to hold his most loved on in his arms forever. "Don't worry sweetie! I'm coming for you!" He yelled as he neared his destination.

There before Captain Falcon, coming in his direction in the same speed he was, was the love of his life. His infamous Falcon Flyer, which was oddly, but not to him, decorated in white flowered leigh and was dragging a white veil from behind. This was obviously setting the scene for a type of wedding.

After ten minutes of slow motion running, Captain Falcon finally reached the love of his life.
Obviously wanting nothing more than to hold his one true love in his arms for the rest of his life (even though he physically couldn't), the racer put his arms around his beloved star cruiser in an attempt for an embrace. Captain Falcon stared lovingly at his galaxy cruiser before closing his eyes and slowly leaning in for a long passionate kiss.

Outside of Captain Falcon's room, someone had just happened to be walking by just as the racer began a small unconscious session of intimacy with his one true love. The sleepwalking Ness was passing by the closed door as the sounds of continuous moaning could be heard from outside the room. The psychic boy froze in place once he was directly in front of the door and just stood there. He remained in that very spot for what seemed like more than ten minutes as the moaning continued from inside. While facing forward and not moving an inch, it almost seemed as if Ness was actually in shock by the sounds that were coming from the room beside him. Ness finally continued his unconscious walk down the hallways after nearly twenty minutes had passed. If Ness weren't asleep, he'd be wondering what Captain Falcon was up to in that room of his.

Meanwhile, inside the room, Captain Falcon was having fun with his lover. Kissing passionately and moaning in pleasure as he moved his hands all over his Falcon Flyer's back. He slowly began to pull away after a long while of passion. Showing his teeth while smiling like some crazed insane idiot with his eyes still closed, the racer said in a rather deep toned voice,
"Mmm... Honey."

It was not that Captain Falcon began to awaken from his peaceful slumber. He slowly opened his eyes to get a good look at his true love. The first sight in his eyes was the figure in bed next to him, which also happened to be the one that he was holding in his arms. His vision finally focused on his one true love. A man with brown hair and a black mustache, who wearing red overalls and a blue sweatshirt underneath. His one true love was none of than the one and only Mario.

Suddenly, Captain Falcon's eyes widened beyond normal size. The horrified look on his face was obvious to anyone's eye (even though he was still wearing his helmet). One thought was running through his head as he stared in horror at the person he was in bed with. He had just kissed Mario out of complete love and passion and enjoyed every minute of it.

Captain Falcon let out a very loud terrified scream before clenching his fist and screaming the words, "Falcon punch!" His flaming fist was suddenly smashed into Mario's face with much great force. Sending the plumber flying head first directly into the wall. Resulting in Mario's head getting stuck in one spot in the wall and the rest of his body hanging limp off the floor. Captain Falcon slowly got out of his bed and removed his headphones. He began to cautiously make his way over to the body in the wall. Grabbing the supposed backside to Mario's overalls, the racer gave a harsh tug at the plumbers clothes to pull the plumber out of his wall.

It was here that Captain Falcon ran into a little problem. "What the hell... ?" He said while blinking in confusion. Mario was still stuck in the wall and hadn't moved a single inch. He gave another harsh pull at Mario's clothes with a little more force. However, it wasn't enough. Mario was still stuck in the wall. He gritted his teeth and gave another harsh pull with even more force than before. The racer let out a very audible growl as Mario still would not budge. "Damnit! His head's bigger than his ass!" He growled as he placed a foot on the wall and gave an even more harder pull at Mario's clothes. Even though Mario's clothes were beginning to rip at the seams, the plumber was still stuck in the wall and showed no signs of budging with every attempt Captain Falcon made to get him out. Giving up on pulling at the plumber's clothing, Captain Falcon grabbed both of Mario's legs and continued his vain attempts to pull Mario out of the wall.

Frustration began to take it's toll on the racer as Mario's head was still in the same place as it was after he had punched him in the face. After growling angrily once more, Captain Falcon finally decided to on taking matters into the hands of his own powers. He began to grin in amusement at the thought of what he was about to do. He took a few steps back and had a very decent view of his target before him in the wall. His leg began to flame as he quickly dived at the plumbers rear end. "Falcon kick!" He yelled as his flaming foot made first contact with Mario's ass with tremendous force. Sending the plumber's body completely through the wall. Thus, solving the problem of Mario's head being stuck in the wall. However, the only drawback was that the racer now had a very large hole in his wall, which led to the hallway beside his room.

Captain Falcon's eyes widened as he examined the large hole in his wall. He slowly began to approach the new walkway between his room and the hallway. He instantly knew that there was a problem with this situation after he had managed to actually walk through the hole without ducking of stepping over anything. Now that he had found himself standing in the hall, a sudden wave of panic had struck the racer. While turning to look at the large new walkway, a sudden thought had ran across his mind that only added to his growing panic. "Ah, damnit! If Peach see's that hole, she'll kick my ass to hell!"

Glancing from the hole to Mario, who was currently slumped over against the wall on the floor, Captain Falcon's panic had suddenly began to turn into anger. Anger towards the plumber. As Mario was the reason why Captain Falcon ended up putting the giant hole in his wall to begin with. Standing over the lifeless plumber, the racer decided to get Mario's attention in the best way he could think of. He yelled at him.

"I HOPE YOUR HAPPY NOW, YOU FAT CHUNK OF LARD! I OUGHTA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT HOLD IN MY WALL!" Captain Falcon roared as he gave a harsh kick to Mario's side. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU HAD TO DESTROY YOUR OWN WALL IF YOU COULDN'T GET MY HEAD OUT OF THE WALL!" He yelled as something more had crossed his mind. "AND WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE IN THE SAME BED WITH ME! IN FACT, WHY IN THE HELL WERE YOU IN BED WITH ME!"

Bearing down menacingly upon the dead body, Captain Falcon waited for the plumber to respond. Time passed and anger was beginning to build even more from within the racer. He was expecting the fat plumber to answer his question. However, much to his disappointment, Mario remained silent. He didn't get a single word out of him. Not even a movement.

Normally, a smart human being would realize at the moment that Mario would either be unconscious or, more truthfully, dead. However, since Captain Falcon had no idea that the word unconscious even existed, he proceeded to be the stupid idiot that he unknowingly was.

"Damnit, Mario! Answer me!" He shouted once more. Still obviously wanting an answer from Mario. When he found that yelling at him was having little success if any at all, Captain Falcon reached down and grasped tightly onto Mario's neck. He lifted him off of the floor and up to his eye/helmet level. "I said answer me! You gooey tubby fat man!" He snarled.

Suddenly, Captain Falcon noticed something that didn't seem quite right. Usually when he had someone's neck in his hand, their skin was warm to the touch. However, in this case, Mario's wasn't. "Why are you so cold? Did you take a cold shower or something?"

When Mario, once again, did not answer, Captain Falcon lowered Mario back down the floor and released his neck. The racer blinked a couple of times before cocking his head to the side in mild confusion. This was truly puzzling him beyond belief. "Hmm... are people really supposed to get this cold?" He questioned himself.

Captain Falcon suddenly thought back to a TV show that he used to watch. In one episode, some guy was surrounded by two warrior girls. He was badly wounded and he told the girls that he was a little cold, but id didn't hurt anymore. And then he died.

It was now that a hug wave of panic had returned to Captain Falcon in full fore. Could this by why Mario was so cold and motionless? Basically, someone in his current position would have immediately taken Mario's pulse. However, since Captain Falcon didn't know how take a pulse (or even knew what a pulse was at all), he settled for kicking Mario very fiercely in the crotch. When Mario didn't respond to that, Captain Falcon assumed the worst.

"AAAH! OH GOD! I KILLED MARIO!" Captain Falcon screamed in horror. This was immediately followed by a long, very loud blood curling scream, which caused someone to emerge from their room and throw a show at the screaming racer. Bringing the loud screaming to a sudden end.

"Hey! Shut up out there! Some of us actually sleep at three in the morning! Damn fool!" Shouted the one who threw the shoe as they disappeared back into their room. Softly closing the door behind them.

Captain Falcon was beginning to come back to reality at this time. Even though the sensation of panic never left him for one second. The racer swallowed heavily as he stared down in fear at the dead body before him.

Mario was dead. And it was all his fault. He killed him. And all of the evidence was definitely there.

Captain Falcon took the evidence into thought as he shot a quick glance at the very large hole in his wall. Turning back to Mario, the racer realized that if he were caught, trouble would be too weak of a word to describe what he would be in. He needed to do something about this. And fast. Before someone saw any of this mess.

Without hesitation, Captain Falcon grabbed Mario by his arm and quickly slung the plumber over his shoulder. "Alright, Mario. Uh... Everything's gonna be okay. I'm gonna take of everything" He said to the Mario as if he were still alive. With that, Captain Falcon took off down the hall with incredible speed. "Everything's gonna be fine! Just fine!" He said as he gave a very nervous laugh. "I just need to hide you before anyone else see's that your dead!" He yelled frantically as he sped down the hallway to the kitchen.

When he finally arrived to his desired destination, Captain Falcon quickly inspected his surroundings. After frantically looking from left to right several different times, he finally located a suitable hiding place for Mario. He ran over to the refrigerator and quickly pulled the door open. Captain Falcon placed Mario inside the fridge and began to shove the plumber's large body inside (as he was attempting to place Mario on the top shelf). He began to punch the dead body several times until he was sure that Mario was completely inside the fridge. Finally, Captain Falcon managed to close the door and breathe a sigh of relief. Feeling that the job was finished and he could now put this all behind him as if it never happened. As he was turning away to leave the kitchen to return to his room, Captain Falcon had suddenly frozen in step as something had immediately dawned on him. Something that had caused his eyes to widen out of the wave had panic that had returned.

"MY BIG MAC SANDWICH!" He yelled as he scrambled back to the fridge. After nearly tearing open the door, Captain Falcon seized Mario's overalls and removed him from the fridge. He closed the door with an obvious look of disturbance on his face. "Whew.. That was a close one." He said as he opened the door to the fridge once more. He peered at over the expired milk to look at his leftover Big Mac hamburger from yesterday. "Ah. It still looks okay!" He said before he closed the door and looked down at Mario. "Well, at least my breakfast for tomorrow is still okay."

Now that he knew that he didn't want his chosen plan to work, Captain Falcon was left with no choice but to search around the kitchen for an alternative hiding place for Mario. Almost instantly (or without thinking), he found another place. He grabbed Mario's arm and dragged him over to the sink. The racer opened up the cabinets below it and proceeded to stuff Mario's body inside them. After several attempts with punching, kicking, and frustrating growls, Captain Falcon finally felt that Mario was packed in tight enough into the small closterphobic or however it's spelled cabinet to where he couldn't be seen.. Now that he satisfied with the new hiding space, Captain Falcon began to close the cabinet doors, only to find that the doors would not actually close (as Mario's head and right arm were the only parts of his body that were not actually in the cabinet). Using nearly all of his strength, Captain Falcon fiercely slammed the cabinet doors closed. However, when he did, the hinges on one of the doors came off. Causing the door to come off.

"AH! SHIT!" Captain Falcon yelled in horror as he now had one of the cabinet doors in his hand. Letting panic take complete control, Captain Falcon quickly seized Mario's arm and pulled him out of the cabinet and ran over to the closet/pantry. He immediately opened the door and began to hide the broken cabinet door. Once the door was hidden to his liking, Captain Falcon suddenly realized that he needed a replacement door. So he took one of the TV dinner trays and then closed the pantry door. He ran over to the sink cabinets and placed the tray in front of the place that once had the now missing cabinet door.

After fixing that problem to his satisfaction, Captain Falcon had not breathed a sigh of relief this time. Mario was still not hidden. And someone could walk in here at any time to find this scene. So, once more, Captain Falcon began to frantically search around for, yet again, another place to hide Mario. After some time of looking around, Captain Falcon grabbed Mario by his overalls and raced over toward the kitchen table. He immediately tossed Mario under the table and pushed the chairs in further. Once finished, the racer stood back and observed the site before him.

"Ah! Damn it! I can still see him!" He yelled to himself as he looked around in desperation for another solution to this problem. An idea had suddenly came to mind as Captain Falcon ran back to the pantry. He searched around and found what he was looking for. He grabbed a large pink table cloth with stars and rockets on it. He closed the pantry door and ran back to the table. He spread the table cloth across the table and then stood back once more.

"Crap! The damn sheet's not long enough!"Captain Falcon griped as he ran back to the table cloth and pulled one side of it to floor level. Captain Falcon stood back once more. He grinned and sighed, once more, in relief. Mario was no longer visible to his eye.

"Finally, the deed is done." He said as he proceeded to walk around the table to leave the kitchen. "Now, to go fix that hole and go back to bed and forget this ever happened." Captain Falcon said to himself as he reached the doorway. He stopped as soon as he got there as something had crossed his mind. "Hmm... a glass of water sounds good right about now."

With that, he turned around and headed to the sink. He reached up into one of the cupboards above the sink and pulled out an empty glass and then proceeded to fill it with water. The racer turned to lean against the counter and began to drink from his glass of water. As soon as Captain Falcon took his first sip of water, he saw a sight that made his eyes widen, the panic to return,
and the glass slip from his hand and hit the floor to shatter to several pieces.

A cloaked figure was standing next to the table, holding a camera in one of their visible hands. Standing in the dark and facing directly towards Captain Falcon. However, this person themself was not what was worrying him the most. It was the fact that the person's other hand was clutching the table cloth. And, obviously, under the table, was the body of Mario, who could very much be clearly seen if the table cloth were removed.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 6 : 3:24 a.m.

Out of fear that he'll have another one of those dreams, Marth is having a very sleepless night. So he is completely awake and alert to all of his surroundings. Regardless of what time it is... or is he?

I dedicated this chapter to Dragon's Return and Perverted Monk Miroku because they were basically the only ones who guessed the answers to a little challenge thingy that I put in the last chapter. The challenge thingy that I don't remember putting in at all, but did. It was on the quotes. I don't remember what was guessed on them, but I do know that these two were the only ones who did. Here's the answers to the quotes.

1.) Captain Falcon
2.) Zelda
3.) Mr. Game and Watch
4.) Fox
5.) Falco
6.) Ness
7.) Link
8). Roy

Confused? Don't worry, so am I. I don't even remember doing a little contest thing in the last chapter, but anyway, if no one knows what I'm talking about, then just ignore this part.

However, this chapter is still the ones who guessed! Go them! XD

Anyway, once again, I appologize for the long delay in updating and for any spelling and grammer errors. I'll do what I can to get the next chapter up. I don't know how long it will take, but I'll do what I can. So keep checking back. Until then, later!

-Zorra L.