You don't realize how much you need someone until they're sleeping in the same bed as you.

You don't realize how soft someone's skin is, no matter how many times you've touched it, hugging, punching, tickling, tackling, until you realize how much you need them.

You don't realize how deep someone's eyes are, however many times you've looked into them, in anger, in laughter, in grief, until you realize how soft their skin is.

You don't realize how musical someone's voice can be, even if it's somewhat hoarse in the middle of the night, even if it's not the voice of an Angel or a rockstar, saying your name in confusion as they wake with your arms around them, until you realize how deep their eyes are.

You don't realize how chapped someone's lips can be, despite the fact that you're kissing them, despite the fact that it's winter and cold and dry, despite the fact that you dazedly remember staring at those lips inadvertently, despite the fact that your tongue is running over those lips, until you realize how musical their voice can be.

You don't realize how warm someone's body can be, even though that was the whole point of crawling into bed with them, even though you've grown warm simply thinking about that body, even though you've felt them burning up with fever and seen them flushed with desire, anger, embarrassment, even though it's freezing in this room, this bed, even though the mounds of blankets aren't warm enough but this someone is, until you realize how chapped their lips are.

You don't realize how surprisingly good it feels for someone to be touching you, because although you've imagined this briefly and much to your surprise, because although you never dreamed that someone could be that good at touching, although you never thought that this someone could be that good at touching, although your thoughts are flying out of your head in quick succession, although you can't breathe, although you are gasping for breath at the same time they are for the same reasons, although the rhythm is pounding through your blood, although they've got you waiting, wanting, pleading, begging, although… although… although… although… although… until you realize how warm their body is.

You don't realize how comfortable someone is, even though you've leaned against them too many times to count, even though you're leaning into the hollows of their somewhat scrawny body and you fit perfectly there, even though your arms are wrapped around them and your chests are rising and falling together, breathe, breathe, breathe, even though they're sweaty and you're sweaty, but you can smell oranges on their skin, until you realize how surprisingly good it feels for them to be touching you.

You don't realize how adorable someone can be, despite the fact that you've called them a girl on numerous occasions, despite the fact that they almost perpetually look like a lost puppy, despite the fact that they look cuter than anything you've ever seen when they're staring at you wide eyed after sex, until you realize how comfortable they are.

You don't realize how gentle someone can be, even if it's surprised you before, you've never really thought about it, even if you've seen how they've handled their past girlfriends, and one tumultuous spring, a boyfriend, even if you know that the sharp lines of their body don't make a sharp person, until you realize how adorable they are.

You don't realize how caring someone can be, however many times they've rescued you and nursed you, until you realize how gentle they are.

You don't realize how beautiful someone is, no matter how many times you've been astounded by the sheer blue of their eyes, the gold of their hair, until you realize how caring they are.

You don't realize that you love someone, despite the fact that you're whispering it against their mouth, until you realize how beautiful they are.