Chapter 3

Each breath felt like a kick to the chest she had gone almost a year without any real exercise add to that the sudden reemergence of her massive chain smoking and she couldn't even begin to comprehend what the fuck she had been thinking. The only answer that made any sense was that with the sudden break from parenting her mind had decided it was time for her to go insane.

She had decided to take up jogging.

"Come on slowpoke! Time to catch up!" Her neighbor and (former) best friend Kristen yelled at her from where she was already far, far ahead and was yet to have broken a sweat, former best friend because after subjecting her to this kind of torture Lisa was beginning to think their eleven year friendship was on seriously thin ice.

"If...you...don't...stop...being...so...goddamn...chipper...I'm...gonna...kill you..." Lisa huffed and puffed as she struggled to keep up with her friend.

"Hey!" Kristen shouted running over to her friend and putting her hands on her hips. "You asked me to help you. Remember? "Oh Kris, I am so out of shape please help me to lose this gross disgusting excess fat so that I can finally start dating like a normal person and have some kind of a life. A life possibly like yours which I so envy."

A strand of long sweaty brown hair had fallen into Lisa's face she blew it out of the way and glared up at her friend, she had been leaning over to catch her breath.

"I did not say that."

"Well...you were thinking it."

Lisa sighed, she was incredibly thirsty and every muscle in her body ached.

"Let's take a break." she said.

"But we've still got one more mile..." Kristen began.

"Let's take a break," Lisa walked over to a park bench and sat down "now."

Kristen stood for a second watching the sweaty mess that was Lisa, shrugged her shoulders, and sat down.

Lisa had her eyes closed and was breathing slowly trying to regain the will to move.

"So..." Kristen asked standing up again so she could begin to stretch "how's life without the tiny one?"

Lisa opened her eyes slowly then closed them again "She'll be back in a week."

Kristen finished her stretching and sat back down "That wasn't an answer to my question."

"I'm aware of that." Lisa said. her arms resting on her legs she sighed loudly leaned forward and opened her eyes.

"It's...okay. I guess."

"Really?"

"It's weird...I'm use to having her around."

"Still the free time must be nice." Kristen took a sip of the water she had been carrying with her.

Lisa looked over at her friend and blinked. "Umm...I'm cleaning more I guess."

Kristen took a longer sip of her water and stared at her friend. Slowly she handed over the bottle and Lisa took it gratefully.

"Are you okay? You seem sort of out of it."

Lisa took large sips of water seeming to ignore her friend.

"Lisa? Hey Lisa! Stop drinking so fast, you'll get sick."

At that second Lisa began to choke she leaned forward coughing up water.

Kristen began to pound her hard on the back. "Are you okay? Jesus, I warned you."

Lisa finished her coughing spell and ran her fingers through her damp hair.

"You're not okay?" Kristen asked her "Are you?"

"You know it's funny..." Lisa began "all this time I had myself so fucking convinced that I was a good mother...better then my Mother at least...that Sasha and I were...I don't know close? But I guess I was wrong. I mean I must have done something. But I thought I really thought that I'd covered all the bases...I thought that Toby and I had made things...as easy as they could be...for her."

"She's getting older..." Kristen said shrugging "she's going to go back and forth between Mommy and Daddy her whole life."

"Yeah but that's not how it was suppose to be!" Lisa said looking over at her friend and growing annoyed "I never...I never wanted her to choose okay? I know lot's of Parent's say that and they don't mean it but I did!" She buried her face in her hands "I never wanted her to choose."

"Or maybe..." Kristen said as if she were thinking out loud "you just never thought she'd choose him..."

Lisa looked up then slowly with eyes that could look right through you "Why am I friends with you?" she asked.

The realization of what she'd said hit Kristen suddenly "Oh god I didn't mean..."

And Lisa jumped up then suddenly and began to run again.

"Lisa!" Kristen began to follow her yelling after "I didn't mean...I'm sorry!"

But Lisa was already far, far ahead of her, chasing something Kristen could not see.