Sorry this next part's short, but we'll get into it next chapter. Promise.

Still don't own anything Supernatural.

o0o

Sam was livid. He wanted to hit something, someone. Dean. He wanted to throttle his older brother. Slowly choke the life…

He took a deep breath as he neared the parking lot of their latest motel. Tried to let go of his anger at his brother. But damnnit Dean infuriated him. Dean, who bought into Dad's propaganda, who never questioned orders, who was always the good soldier, the dutiful son. Didn't he see that his blind obedience got him exactly nowhere? Didn't he see that there had to be more to life than this? How could Dean not see what their father's obsession had already cost them in terms of their fucked up childhoods? How could Dean not see that they should be both out living in suburbia right now, getting together for a barbeque with their wives and 2.3 children? And not have the sum total of both their lives and possessions fit into the trunk of a slightly battered '67 Impala.

But Dean didn't see anything wrong with their lives. He thrived on hunting and on killing as many 'sons-of-bitches' as he could. Their nomadic rootless lifestyle seemed designed for Dean's devil-may-care, swaggering through life attitude. Dean seemed not to be bothered by the crazy reality that substituted for 'normal' in their world.

And damnnit it pissed him off. And not just because Dean epitomized everything that Sammy didn't want to be, and not just because Sam resented his brother for being able to be exactly the kind of son John wanted, and not because Dean made the whole damn thing look easy. Although that last one really did stick in his craw. No, what really pissed Sam off was that Dean didn't seem to resent any of it. Didn't seem bothered by any of it, never got angry at their Dad for depriving them of anything that might be considered normal. Sam would never understand how Dean didn't hate their father, who had never even apologized to his sons for ruining their lives, for taking away any chance for a future and who would never see his sons as anything other than little extensions of his own twisted vendetta.

Sam paused by his brother's beloved Impala, which Dean had left at the motel, parked in the shade, of course, as the bar was only a block and a half away, and wondered whom he was more angry with: Dean for accepting their twisted take on reality so readily; or himself for never accepting it, for never fitting in, and for never wanting to fit in.

He once again tried to physically shake his mood off as he continued toward their room. Deep breath in… and out. Thinking like this was going to get him precisely nowhere. It wasn't Dean's fault, it was their father's obsession that had coloured every aspect of their lives from that day in early November 1983. But how could his brother not want anything more? How could he not see that they had been colossally gypped in the grand scheme of things? Dean didn't seem to see anything wrong with their lives, didn't seem to think there was anything out there beyond hunting. Didn't know how intrinsically wrong everything about the Winchester fucked up value system was.

Was he so wrong to want something else? There were people who lived there whole lives without ever having to even pick up a gun, much less deal with anything supernatural. So many people managed to live their entire lives ignorant of the demons and ghosts that walked among them. He sighed as he reached their room.

All he had wanted for his birthday was a 'normal' day - that would be the perfect day. No hunting, no ghosts, no research. Nothing paranormal or supernatural. Just something mundane, ordinary.

Whatever that was. He shook his head as he searched his pockets for his motel keyring. At least Dean hadn't forgotten his birthday, he'd just been yanking his chain. As usual. But when was Dean ever going to see that his baby brother wasn't a baby any more, when was he ever going to realize that Sam wasn't Sammy any more? And when was he going to wake up to the fact that Sam was going to leave, needed to leave, as soon as this thing was over, needed to put all this behind him and find out what could be 'normal' for him?

And where was his key? Damnnit, could this day get any worse?

Sam was taken completely unawares as an apparition grabbed him by the back of his jacket and shoved him through the motel room door.

Yes, apparently it could.

Shit.

o0o

TBC