Chapter Thirteen – "Who's Your Lobster?"

Previously – Zach has been taken into custody on suspicion of being behind the disappearances, but not before asking Ryan to protect Kendall, whose name is on the Wall of the To Be Vanished. JR, Babe, Adam, Krystal and Amanda are in the Zendall office, along with Kendall, Ryan, NuGreenlee, Jonathan, Lily, Tad and Di. Kendall has just taken a call from the strange metallic voice that hired Zendall and Tad/Aidan to investigate the disappearances. The voice has accused them of failing in their mission and warns that there will be hell to pay as a result. As we join today's episode, Di has told Kendall the name of the haunting tune everybody almost recognizes but doesn't when they try phoning one of the Vanished.

"Don't be silly, that isn't what it is," Kendall scoffed when Di told her the name of the hauntingly familiar tune everybody almost recognized but didn't. "That's Country. This is a torch song from a Film Noir."

Tad nodded. "I thought so too at first. But it's the arrangement, Kendall, that's all. Di picked up on it right away."

"So why didn't you tell somebody right away?" Kendall asked, picking up on that right away.

"I thought everybody knew," Di lied. "It's so obvious."

"I love that song," JR said dreamily. "You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. My Mom used to sing that to me when I was a baby."

"I know, JR," Di managed, praying the subject would turn away from Dixie fast.

"What do think it means?" Kendall wondered.

"Probably nothing," Di lied.

"Maybe something in the lyric is a clue," Lily suggested. "Although I don't see how it could be. It's all pretty straightforward."

"I don't know why you're all wasting your time," Ryan yawned. "The Maniac has been arrested!"

"Then who just phoned me saying there'd be hell to pay?" Kendall demanded. "The Easter Bunny?"

Ryan shrugged. "Probably one of Zach's men, whistling in the dark because Zach was picked up by the police. I'm telling you, Kendall, the right guy went to jail!"

"Kendall, you think whoever hired your detective agency is behind the disappearances?" Lily asked before Kendall had a chance to blow Ryan away into the next zip code, which she was fully intent on doing.

"I don't know what to think, Lily," she admitted, calming down with a sigh. "Except that the right guy did NOT go to jail!"

"Kendall it's over," Ryan said flatly. "Time to let go."

"We still don't know where half the Town is," Tad reminded him. "So nothing is over."

"The Script says the Missing are in Zach's Casino," NuGreenlee recalled. "In the basement of Zach's Casino."

Tad was shaking her head. "Di and I had a look-see. Nothing is in that basement but basement."

"See!" Kendall yelped. "That so-called Script is full of hooey! Zach is innocent! I'm calling Derek and getting him to let Zach go!"

Ryan stopped her before she could dial.

"Kendall, think it through," he implored her. "Zach stuck his victims someplace else once he knew the Script had tipped us off."

Kendall thought it through.

"Zach is being framed by that damn Script!" she concluded.

"Let me have a look at the Script again," Tad requested wearily. "Maybe we missed something."

Ryan handed him the Script, while Lily and Jonathan looked on in surprise since it was the first time they knew of its existence.

"What's that all about, Ry?" Jonathan asked at once.

Ryan happily told him it was Zach's ticket to Statesville.

Lily watched Tad, as he leafed through the pages.

"Can I look at it next. Tad?" she asked.

He grinned. "Sure, kiddo. You're all over the place in this. You and Jonathan are the detectives who crack the case wide open."

"We do?" Jonathan asked in wonder.

"Let's see," Lily said, happily accepting the script from Tad.

Scene: Jonathan and Lily's tree house. They are discussing the disappearances which have filled Pine Valley with terror and foreboding.

Lily: I don't think everybody is where people are looking for them. Or else they would have been found already.

Jonathan: So where have people looked already?

"We really sound stupid," Lily said to Jonathan. "Is that how we sound in real life?"

"You sound adorable in real life," Tad assured her. "Or anyway in Pine Valley's version of real life."

Babe was getting restless.

"JR, maybe we should do on home," she suggested. "Between you, me and Mama, I'm pretty sure we can keep your Daddy safe."

"Thank you, Babe," Adam replied stiffly. "But I can keep myself safe. Been doing it for years."

"You're our favorite meal ticket, Adam," Krystal drawled. "Ain't nobody gonna hurt you while I'm around."

"You're all living in a fool's paradise," Amanda said darkly on her way out. "See ya later. Some of you anyway."

Tad grimaced. "I think Di and I are going too. Will you be alright here, Kendall?"

"We'll stay with Kendall," Ryan said on behalf of his nuwife.

Tad and the others nodded and let themselves out, none of them believing that Zach's arrest had done anything to set things right again.

"Don't do me any favors," Kendall said sweetly to Ryan when the door closed. "Nobody has to stay with Kendall but Zach, and Zach has been hauled away to the can on trumped-up charges. So Kendall Hart Slater is on her own."

She had begun to pace the room, the reality of the situation hitting her harder with every step she took. She felt like a caged animal and she could only imagine how Zach felt in a real cage. Nothing anybody could say to her could make her feel any better.

"I'm here for you, Kendall," Ryan told her earnestly. "Like you've been there for me."

Kendall stopped pacing and fought the desire to throw Ryan out of a window.

"Is that the Little Girl's Room?" NuGreenlee asked sweetly, pointing to a door, in search of a bathroom. "I need to freshen up."

"She is rather stale" Kendall cracked, when NuGreenlee left the room. "Can you pick 'em or can you pick 'em?"

Ryan grinned. "Once upon a time I picked you, Kendall. And you picked me. Remember? We almost made it to the finish line."

She shrugged. "After you left me flat a few times and faked your own death, the memory kind of got hazy. Flatleaver."

Ryan did his best to make her understand "We'll always be connected, Kendall. Nothing either of us can do about it."

But Kendall was shaking her head. "Sorry, Ryan. You aren't my lobster."

He replied to that with a blank stare.

"That comes from 'Friends', the television show," Lily explained to him and Jonathan. "Lobsters mate for life, so Phoebe, who was a character on the show, told Ross and Rachel, who were other characters on the show, that they were each other's lobster. Kendall is telling you that you two don't belong together for always, Ryan."

That was a bit hard for Ryan to take. "So who do you belong with, Kendall? That maniac Slater?"

Kendall smiled shyly and looked down at the floor. "Sue me. Zach is my lobster."

"Seems to me Zach is more mobster than lobster," NuGreenlee opined, coming back into the room. "But that's only my opinion."

"If anybody knew who the hell you were, somebody might care," Kendall observed hotly. Then her mind turned to the matter at hand. "Lily, tell us your theory. Please."

"Okay," Lily agreed eagerly. "Kendall, here's why I'm pretty sure Zach is innocent. A criminal needs three things. Motive, means and opportunity."

"Zach has no motive," Kendall broke in.

"He has the Maniac Motive," Ryan disagreed. "World Domination beginning with Pine Valley."

"Ryan, do you ever listen to yourself?" Kendall asked him.

Lily went on. "Let's skip 'means' for a second and go on to 'opportunity'. Zach didn't have time to make all the victims disappear. It's a logistical impossibility."

"JR said he and Kendall left Zach alone at Myrtle's," NuGreenlee recalled. "So there's his opportunity."

"But there were people missing before that," Kendall pointed out. "It all started this morning with Palmer. Zach and I were here together when Palmer went missing. Zach couldn't have had anything to do with it."

"So he hired somebody to do his dirty work for him," Ryan theorized. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"You have no proof he did that," Kendall shot back. "All you're going on is that lame-brained phony baloney Script."

"Let's look at whether Zach had the means," Lily suggested. "Where would he keep all of his victims?"

"Page 3," Ryan informed her. "He tied them up and put them in the basement of his Casino."

"Tad said the Casino basement is empty," Kendall recalled. "Besides, Zach sold the Casino when he went into the detective business with me, so he had no access."

Lily wanted to make certain all bases were covered. "Of course he could have rented a warehouse, so we're going to have to search his office for receipts."

"This is his office," Kendall pointed out. "And the only receipts are for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You're all free to search. I've got nothing to hide. And neither does my husband."

"Come on, everyone, let's look," Ryan urged them, fully convinced they would turn up more evidence against Zach.

So Kendall, Lily, Jonathan, Ryan and NuGreenlee turned the office upside down. All they found were seventy-five restaurant receipts.

"How much take-out do you actually consume per week?" NuGreenlee asked, really wanting to know. "Silly question. Look at you! You couldn't possibly be eating any of it. Or anything else."

"Kendall doesn't eat," Ryan recalled. "The take-out must be for Zach and his Gang."

That did it.

"Zach and his Gang?" Kendall repeated. "Omigod, Ryan. You've really lost it. Go away! I can't take it anymore. Go home, and take What's-Her-Name Again with you! Maybe you'll find another Script in your living room that blames Zach for Global Warming!"

"Ryan has to stay with you," Jonathan explained to Kendall. "Zach asked him to protect you. But that's okay. I can stay and protect you, if you want Ryan and What's-Her-Name Again to go home."

"Greenlee!" NuGreenlee cried out. "I'm Greenlee! I've got the Contract to prove it!"

"If you're staying, Jonathan, I'm staying," Lily made it clear. "Ryan can you leave us the Script? We can go over it and find what everybody else has missed."

"Sure," Ryan said, "I've made copies. But you won't find anything we haven't found already." He turned back to Kendall. "Are you really sure you want me to leave you? I mean, I know you're in no danger because Zach is locked up, but I don't want to leave if you're afraid."

"Drop dead," Kendall told him with all her heart.

"I think she wants you to go," Lily interpreted. "Good-night, Ryan! Good-night What's-Her-Name Again!"

"Greenlee!" NuGreenlee screamed, as Ryan led her out into the night.

Will Kendall be safe with only Lily and Jonathan to protect her from vanishing? Does Di suspect a connection between "You Are My Sunshine" and the crimes? When will Lily find something in the Script everybody else missed? How long will Kendall's lobster be on ice? Where are the Vanished? Time will tell, but I won't. Not yet anyway. Please return for our next exciting installment! Reviews are treasured:)