CHAPTER 10

Blowing her nose and managing to finally get a hold of her emotions, Quinn took a breath to calm herself.

"I'm sorry. Anyways, your turn, Marcus. I know you grew up in Canada. What was that like?" She asked. Marcus thought for a moment, before responding.

"Cold." Marcus grunted in response. Quinn couldn't help but let out a giggle.

"Come on, Marcus! I did my part! I was open and honest! It's your turn to play along." She said. Marcus sighed and nodded, his smile fading slightly.

"Well, I don't really know what to say, to be honest." He said. "It was nice."

Quinn nodded.

"I know you mentioned before that you live with your dad. Did your parents also get divorced?" She asked him. Marcus looked down and stared at his feet for a while, before shaking his head.

"Nah, she uh… she passed away." He replied, fidgeting slightly in his seat uncomfortably.

"Marcus, I'm really sorry." She whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault." He replied. "It wasn't anyone's fault. It was a car accident. She was the only one in the car. I don't even remember much, because I was pretty young when it happened."

Marcus had used this lie in the past more times than he could count. Other than the people who had been there when his mother's death had actually happened nearly 5 years ago, Marcus always told people it was a car accident. It was easier that way. There were less follow up questions or sympathy.

"Still though. I can't imagine how hard it must have been growing up without a mom." Quinn murmured. Marcus shrugged.

"Eh, I still had a dad so at least I had someone. Lot of people have it worse." Marcus commented.

"What's he like?" Quinn asked. Marcus sighed.

"I mean, look, he's a pretty tough guy. Not exactly the kind of guy you'd go and talk to about your feelings. He's more of a suck it up and brave it out type of guy." Marcus admitted. "But being tough, he made me tough. And seeing the way he stepped up and took over all of the parenting when my mom died on top of his exhausting job, he really showed me first-hand what it means to be a man."

"Right." Quinn nodded thoughtfully. "So I know you played Rugby in Canada. Any other sports?"

"I mean Rugby was always the main one. My dad used to play. Would've gone pro too if not for injuries, so he's always carried a bit of bitterness about that I think. He's also always pushed me hard at the sport because he wants to see me make it, given that he couldn't do so himself."

Marcus said this with a little bit of gloom in his voice, and Quinn noticed.

"You mean you don't enjoy it?" She asked. Marcus quickly shook his head.

"No, no, no. I love it! I mean, it was pretty much my childhood growing up. I trained and played a few hours a day for as long as I can remember." Marcus replied. "There's just something uniquely fun about charging full speed into a line of monstrously large opponents who want nothing more than to plant you on your head. But it's just… I don't know if it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Not exactly a job you can grow old in, right?"

"True." Quinn murmured. "I guess that's the same for me with cheerleading. I'd love to use it to get a college scholarship, but as for a job, it's definitely not what I want to be doing for a living."

"Exactly." Marcus agreed. "Anyways, you were talking about other sports I play. I don't do formal training in any other sport, but I mean it's Canada: everyone there lives and breathes either hockey or basketball, so I play both of those."

"Hey, you should join the basketball team." Quinn remarked. "We're really bad so I'm sure if you know how to play, you'd walk right onto the team."

"I'll pass." He replied. "It's not a real sport unless you're getting hit. Football. Hockey. Rugby. MMA. Those are proper sports."

Quinn chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Come on. It's really not that bad. A lot of guys from the Glee club play, and it's an easy way to gain popularity in the school."

Marcus shook his head.

"Not really my thing." He said. "I used to care about that sort of thing when I was younger, but the past few years, less so. Definitely when I entered high school, I stopped caring about any of it."

That was technically not a lie. The September he entered high school was 3 months after his mom died, so the last thing on his mind was making friends at his new school. While before Marcus had always surrounded himself with a ton of people, he pretty much isolated himself after that point. His only 'friends' were his Rugby teammates, and he didn't even hang out with them outside of training. He lived like he was on a deserted island, with every passing day feeling like it was less likely that he'd ever make it off.

"You really don't like being popular? Having everyone's heads turn towards you as you walk down the corridor? Being loved by everyone?" Quinn asked him. Marcus sighed.

"Again, I used to. I then realised that none of those people actually like me for who I am. They're either intimidated by me or they want to be like me. When it comes down to it, if I needed help, none of them would be there to help me."

This was the truth, and Marcus had found out this hard truth when his mom had passed away. It wasn't all of those people who looked up to him that were by his side. It was his dad and his very, very few close friends.

"I know you're the head cheerleader and everything, so I'm guessing it's different for you?" Marcus asked. Quinn looked down and nodded.

"Yeah, um… I've always loved being popular. Kind of always gave me the feeling of being loved that I didn't get from my parents. Then everything with the pregnancy happened and when I took off the Cheerios uniform, I realised just how alone I really was."

Little did Quinn realise that her tears had returned thick and fast as she thought back to the hardest days of her life. When she had been kicked off the Cheerios, kicked out of her own house, and felt like her entire life had come crashing down around her ears.

"I lost Finn, I lost my spot in the Cheerios and I lost my family all in a very short space of time. I was in a really dark place for a while. Then came the post partum on top of everything else… I briefly thought about ending it all." She admitted, without even realising it. This was the first time she had admitted that to anyone in the world, and it was something she previously had intended to take with her to the grave. She was better now, so nobody needed to know, right? Well that plan had gone out the window now anyways.

Once again, Marcus had fallen silent, and he did not say a word for another while. Quinn glanced at him, anxious about what he was about to say about this.

"Quinn, I want you to promise me something." He eventually said, his voice still soft but now a lot firmer.

"Yeah, sure. What?" She asked.

"Look, neither of us know what's going to happen in the next week, the next month, the next year. Things might be going better for us now, but for all we know, tomorrow they can end up back in the shitter."

"You're… optimistic." Quinn commented drily. Marcus didn't laugh though. He didn't even smile. He continued to look at her with a dead serious look on his face.

"I want you to promise that if you ever feel like that again, you call me before you do anything. You have my number. Day or night, I'll answer it. Just call me."

"Marcus, I…" Quinn began, but Marcus interrupted her.

"Please, Quinn." Marcus practically pleaded with her. He wasn't about to lose someone else he cared about to suicide. His mom's death had very nearly broken him, and he didn't think he'd be able to survive another tsunami of pain like that. "Promise me."

Quinn could tell that this was important to Marcus. Like really important. She could tell that this wasn't him looking out for her. Or at least that wasn't all it was. There was something more to it, but Quinn didn't know what.

However, Quinn did take his hands in her own and nod.

"I promise…"