Update!

Sorry it took so long…been busy studying, drawing Arabella, working on my non-fanfiction fiction, the list goes on and on XD.

Freedom Rising- Thank you. It's nice to see someone appreciating a villain and not just the main characters.

AnimeSiren- Hm…that's strange…never noticed. XD

Angel of Dreams- Well, all I can say now is, you'll see…

Yun Fei- It's good to see that you understand Lucia's side of the story. Not many do…

LacusFan- Well, he's getting better now though, isn't he? XD And thank you so much for the compliment.

FallenANgelJulian- Actually, he would be prince consort. (Same situation as Arabella's mother and father)

Thanks also to asga, stuntsheep, Eternal Affinity, coypinoy, sworDieXeQtion, DarkFusion, anonymous (whoever you are), sailor-z-360, ailiricxxz, justx4xfun04, YWEI YU, Ruler of the dark, jen, Kathy, Ren, and Satu-chan.

Ch. 26: Inescapable Doubts

"Did you guys give up too?"

Kira and Lacus turned around, and responded by nodding their heads. The group had gone outside to search for the ring, with the exception of Ray who went to secure Lucia in a room. Unfortunately, the searching led to no results. They had run to the spot the ring had been tossed out, thinking that it would be somewhere there. Instead, they received scratches from looking under bushes, Dearka got chased by a squirrel, Athrun tripped headfirst into a birdbath…overall, it was a very stressful day. But still they tried until it started getting dark.

"Think Athrun and Cagalli are still out there?" Elise asked.

"Maybe." Kira replied.

"But they won't be able to find it in the dark…"

"They probably realize that, but it might take them awhile to admit it." Lacus remarked.

"I suppose so…Ouch!" Elise, who had been walking backwards to face Kira and Lacus while talking, accidentally bumped into Ray, as he was locking the door behind him to keep Lucia from escaping.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you three coming over here." Ray apologized, scratching his head.

"No, no…it was my fault for not looking where I was going…Did Lucia do that to you?"

Ray looked away. "Yes…"

"Oh my goodness, how could she do this to you? After all you do for her…There's a scratch here, a reopened wound here…" Elise fretted in disbelief.

"It's alright, she's not in her right mind." Ray brushed it aside. "I think I'm going to go and rest now…"

"Oh, no you don't. Last time you just went to sleep without taking care of your wounds. This time I'm going to make sure you do." Elise glared at him stubbornly.

"No, I'm fine, really…" Ray waved his hands back and forth, sweat-dropping.

"No way! You're seriously going to get yourself hurt if you go on this way, and not to mention, that will get Bella extremely worried." Elise continued, not relenting.

Ray sighed, realizing that he'll never win. "Yes mother."

Kira and Lacus waved good night, as Ray and Elise went on their way. Then the two stayed silent for a couple minutes.

"Well Kira, I think we should be heading back to our rooms too." Lacus broke the silence. She grabbed Kira's hand, starting to lead the way. But she stopped, seeing that Kira wasn't moving.

"We should check just one more time."

Drawing a breath, Lacus turned around to face him. "Kira, I know you're worried, but doing that won't solve anything. It's too dark, there is no possibility that anyone would be able to find it now." She suddenly smiled. "Besides, the ring, although a symbol, is only a symbol, not the real thing. The two should be able to patch up their relationship with or without it."

Kira stayed still, pondering the idea. He nodded in understanding. "I guess you're right."

"Good." Lacus said cheerfully. Then the two proceeded to go do something that they both needed most at the moment: rest.

Lacus suddenly stopped. "Kira, you do have the ring I gave you before, right?"

"Ugh, that looks like a particularly ugly one." Elise commented, wiping the face wound with a clean, cool cloth. Ray winced as she did so. "Oh, stop being such a baby."

"I'm not…it really does hurt." Ray protested.

"Oh, so now you're admitting that these are pretty bad. What was all the denial about before, hypocrite?" Elise pouted.

"Well, I didn't want to worry anyone." Ray retorted back.

Elise glared at him with reproaching eyes. "Don't you realize that doing so eventually makes the situation worse?"

"Not if you can handle it on your own." He answered coldly.

Elise sighed in exasperation. "Sometimes you and Bella are exactly the same."

"Maybe that's why I'm her fiancée." Ray replied, with a slightly bitter tone that only Elise would be able to catch.

"Um…so, any other wounds that you're trying to hide from me?" Elise smiled, trying to change the subject.

"There are, but I doubt you would want to see them, unless you're like that." He replied, smirking.

"What do you mean…Oh…" Elise backed away, her face turning slightly red.

"Ha! You fell for it!" Ray started laughing, or rather, roaring, for he started to clutch his stomach.

"That wasn't nice!" Elise fumed, snatching up a cushion.

"Hahahahahaha…Ouch!" Ray continued to laugh until Elise started pegging him with the cushion, causing him to roll onto the floor.

"Uh oh, are you alright?" Elise looked down in concern, thinking that she had gone too far.

"Yea, I'm fine." Ray replied, smiling, getting back up. "It's funny though…I never had this much fun with Lucia."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Not even when you two were little?"

"No."

"Oh…I see…" Elise stammered, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sure you did, especially with how close you were with Arabella."

"Well…yes." Elise replied. After all, it wasn't as if she could lie to him about it.

"Must have been nice." He commented wistfully.

"Look who's one to talk." Elise replied, putting a hand on her hip. "The all popular Ray Yutare, surrounded by adoring fans…" She rolled her eyes.

"That was just superficial. I think it might have had more to do with the family name, and the fact that I was older than the rest of you. They didn't really adore me, they adored the reputation."

"You're only three years older than me. But about the family name, well, I guess you have a point." Elise remarked, tracing something on the floor with her feet.

"I guess…" Ray suddenly changed the subject. "Speaking of Arabella…"

She crumbled to the floor, as soon as she shut the door behind her. "I can't believe I'm going through with this." Elise wanted to pull out her hair and scream, but she knew she would attract attention that way. "And I can't attract attention if I want to continue with the plan."

Her mind filled with conflict. She shouldn't be doing this. This was going way to far. Did her senses die on her? She had erased the line the minute she agreed to do this. Of course, helping Bella was a good thing, but if she continued, would her actions be harmful instead?

She started pacing back and forth. No, she had to do this. She had deciphered the documents, and went through the list. They were all important, but one specific thing brought on attention. She had to go, she had to figure out what it was used for…there were so many questions that needed to be answered. Perhaps then, would things start becoming peaceful…

And yes, she couldn't waste time. She had to do this before an opposing side realizes that she found out something, and try to stop her…or rather use her knowledge to further their own goals.

Talking to Ray had made her more determined. She recalled the conversation once again. Yes, she couldn't just sit back and watch such a good friend suffer. She had to do something about it.

Cagalli paced back and forth across her room, restless. She couldn't believe it. Fuming, she grabbed a pillow and started smacking things with it. She would have gladly used her fists instead, but she still had enough sense to realize that damaging the furniture might not be the best idea.

And everything was starting to work out too!

Okay, maybe it was just a ring. But it was a ring that he gave to her, as a promise to be with her forever. It was important! And it was all ruined thanks to a certain red-haired, racist, sadistic, obnoxious Coordinator brat. She had half a mind to go, barge into Lucia's room, and start beating the pulp out of her.

Perhaps she would have moved on. It wasn't as if Athrun couldn't give her another ring. But what made her angry has the look in Athrun's eyes. Surprised? Worried? Doubtful? The last part seriously made her want to scream out of the room. He didn't doubt, did he? He couldn't! She knew that she could trust Athrun better than that. But…

She hadn't been herself recently. In fact, she had downright looked pathetic and idiotic. She seemed useless, and instead put a lot of strain on Athrun with her constant complaining. Maybe that changed his mind?

No, Athrun wasn't fickle like that. He would stand by her side, no matter what.

Would he?

She reproached herself. "Cagalli Yula Attha, you're pathetic!" How could she be so uncertain? What was wrong with her? Why the sudden change of character? When was she so vulnerable?

She couldn't deal with all these confusing emotions. And something at the back of her mind kept prodding her. Maybe she was the one that doubted.

She cried herself to sleep that night.

"Why do you put up with them?"

"I don't know."

Yzak and Arabella sat across from each other, with a chest set placed between them. This was starting to become a daily routine, except they weren't playing right now. Yzak scrutinized her carefully. Was it really because she didn't know, or was she hiding something from him again?

"You know, you have nothing that's holding you back from breaking away from them." Yzak continued.

"There's nothing that's making me either." She replied matter-of-fact.

That stung. So there was nothing making her… "I think Lucia is a very good reason." He managed to say.

Arabella sighed. "That's true, but that's not Ray's fault. Besides, I can't break my bow. Not to mention how that will appear…"

"That's all you care about, your image, isn't it?" Yzak replied cruelly. He regretted right after he said that. That went a bit too far.

Arabella had a sad look in her eyes. "Oh, so is that what you think of me? I thought you would know me better than that." Then she suddenly shifted to anger. "Is it that hard for you to understand why I'm doing this? Maybe you're not fit to be a politician then."

"If you want to put it that way, you're not fit to be a human being!" Yzak yelled back, standing up at the same time. Both knew at the back of their heads that this argument wasn't necessary, and that it was completely going the wrong direction. But they couldn't stop themselves.

"You manipulate people, hide things from them, set them up so that they will act the way that would benefit you. Not only to your opponents, but to all those that want to support you. If that's what it is to be a politician, then I won't be one!" He continued to yell.

"Then don't be one!" She yelled back. "But you shouldn't fool yourself to thinking that politicians are the only one's that do that. Human beings generally do that. In the end, we all have our selfish motives somewhere and we step on other people in the process of obtaining it." She took one step towards him. "What are your motives, Yzak?"

"And what are yours?" He retorted back. "All that manipulating and keeping things from others had to be for some selfish reason."

"I do it for my…"

"Maybe you do, but I get the feeling that you're actually enjoying it, that you're becoming addicted to it." He glanced at the chess pieces. "I think I now know why you enjoy playing this game so much. You like to strategize everything, and not to mention, being in control."

"You're the one to talk!" She snapped, getting angrier by the minute.

"Yes, I am the one to talk, because I know what it's like. So don't give me any of this 'you don't know what you're talking about' attitude and instead look me straight in the eye and tell me that it isn't true!"

Arabella was determined to prove Yzak wrong. She glared at him straight, and was about to say…then doubt came into her mind. Maybe she did think that way. Yzak might be right. After all, knowledge was power. But the real question was, did she revel in it? She didn't know.

Yzak smirked, seeing her hesitation. But the smirk seemed to be directed at himself as much as he directed it at her. "That's what I thought." With that he left, leaving a very confused Arabella behind.

She didn't even bother looking at him as he left. Instead, she stayed with her head down, pondering his statement. In one swift motion, she knocked all the chess pieces off the table. Then she herself crumbled to the ground.

"Why…why does everything have to be so complicated…" She stammered, holding back her tears.

It was going to be a long night.

Miriallia sighed. It was a horrible day, and no doubt things would continue this way for awhile. She felt a bit guilty that she seemed to be problem free whereas everyone else seemed to struggle with something. But of course, it wasn't as if she could do anything about it. Besides, only the insane would purposely try to bring problems on themselves… She came face to face with Yzak.

"Hi." She managed to say, before moving on. He only grunted in response. Miriallia noticed that he seemed even colder than usual, but she didn't want to pry, so we went on her way. Suddenly she felt something stop her.

"Let's talk."

She didn't know what to say. He wanted to talk to her? What was going on? Seeing that he started to give her an irritated look, she sat down across from him on a sofa.

"So…um…"

"What's going on between you and Dearka?"

Miriallia closed her mouth shut, surprised at the question. What was he getting at? "I don't know what you're talking about." She responded, acting as if she was confused.

Yzak snorted. "So you too, huh? People and their ways of keeping secrets…Maybe she was partly right after all." He added as an afterthought.

"Excuse me?" Miriallia remarked, now truly confused.

"Nothing." Yzak brushed it aside.

"Well, since I don't understand what you're trying to say, I'm going to go now…" Miriallia stammered, trying to get away from having to tell him anything.

He grabbed her arm. "Not until you tell me what's going on."

"What...I don't understand what it is that you're trying to find out."

"Okay then, let me enlighten you." Yzak said, rolling his eyes. "It's obvious that he still has feelings for you. The looks he gives you are obvious enough for even an eight year old to notice. So I'm sure you noticed too." He smirked.

Miriallia froze. Indeed, she did notice Dearka still looking at her affectionately. But he had said… "Dearka said himself that we should just be friends." Miriallia replied, curtly.

Yzak laughed. "Do you honestly think that that was what he wanted?" Miriallia was at a loss of words. "He said that for your benefit, because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, especially when you were still mourning for someone else." He continued. "So it's obvious that his feelings for you are still there. The question is then, what is your response to that?"

Miriallia drew in a deep breath. So what did she think of him now? True, before she hadn't even considered him. And in fact, she guiltily admitted, she had compared him to Tolle numerous times, and found that he was lacking. However, that was then. Now, after she had got to know him better, she realized that Dearka matched the standards, and in some cases, exceeded them. So problem solved, right?

Wrong. It only got her more confused. Why was it that she didn't have a definite answer? By now, it was clear that it wasn't he that had faults. It was she that had the doubts and the stubbornness not to move on. And here she had been thinking a few minutes ago that she didn't have problems…

Yzak smirked, seeing the turmoil in her mind. "I guess you need to figure it out." He stood, and started to leave. "But one thing. Don't lead him on." He turned around, his eyes flashing dangerously. She kept herself from recoiling right away. "Because if you do, you're going to regret it."

Arabella couldn't sleep. Her mind kept on bothering her. "Just forget about it." She scolded herself. Unfortunately, that didn't work. She sat up in exasperation. Maybe a walk would freshen up her mind. She decided to do just that.

Walking softly, she passed by many corridors, making sure not to disturb anyone. Moonlight passed through the windows, illuminating her silent form. She felt like a wandering spirit, passing through the world of the living, while they all slumbered peacefully. She had to stop her urge to laugh. Such silly thoughts…Elise was rubbing off on her.

"And what's a lovely lady like you doing alone in the middle of the night?"

Arabella turned around swiftly, surprised at the voice. She found a certain blond ZAFT smirking at her.

"Dearka, stop playing around, or I'll tell Miriallia on you." She chided him.

"Don't know if she'll even care." Dearka smiled, although he seemed a bit sad.

"I'm sure she will." Arabella reassured him. "So don't go breaking her heart!"

"More like she's the one that's doing the breaking…" He murmured. "So anyways, what are you doing up so late? Couldn't sleep?"

"Yea…" She answered. "You too?"

Dearka nodded. "It seems though no one's actually getting any restful sleep right now. By the way, why did Yzak seem so furious, that is, more than usual?"

"No idea." Arabella stated flatly.

Dearka cocked an eyebrow. Clearly he wasn't going to buy that. "You two got into an argument, right?"

"Since when does anyone not get into an argument with Yzak?" Arabella countered back.

"True, but I think you two got into a real argument."

Arabella sighed. There was no way to get out of it. "So what if we did?"

"Arabella, don't break his heart."

She froze, not knowing how to react. Where did that come from?

"As if I ever have to worry about that." She retorted, once she regained her composure.

Dearka protested. "But it's obvious that he…"

"How can he even have affection for me if he doesn't even bother to understand me?" She argued.

Dearka took in a deep breath. "Okay, I understand that he's not the easiest person to get along…"

"And it's not as if he's ever affected by what I say. He just smirks and goes off on his own." She murmured.

Dearka shook his head. "I think you're both misunderstanding each other."

"How so?" Arabella tilted her head, curious.

Dearka sighed. "Contrary to what most people believe, Yzak is very vulnerable. That's why he always goes off yelling at other people, because he doesn't want them to be close to him. He believes that the closer a person gets to him, the more damage the person will eventually do to him."

"In a sense that's true." Arabella commented.

"I guess I'll have to agree with that too, but life isn't exactly enjoyable either when you're all alone." Dearka replied. Arabella couldn't help but nod her head.

"I think that he probably lashed back at you because you had earned his trust, but ended up disappointing him in some way. He probably took it farther than he intended."

"He's probably always disappointed in me, so there probably isn't much I can do." Arabella sighed.

"There is just one thing you need to do. That is to care for him back." Dearka thought to himself. He wanted to say it to her, but he realized that it would led to another big dilemma. Also, he wasn't sure if he was the one that should be telling her this. Yzak should tell her himself.

"Life's never easy, is it?" Arabella remarked, breaking Dearka's train of thought.

"No, it isn't."

Athrun watched as the lights went off one by one. He was still outside.

It was pointless of him to still be outside. There was no way for him to find it in the dark. This was irrational. He knew all this, but still tried anyways. Carefully, he crawled on the ground, hoping that perhaps that by some miracle he'll feel the ring on the ground and find it. No such luck.

Cagalli. There was absolutely no doubt that he loved her. And he had no doubt that she felt the same way. But what exactly would be the true expression of love?

Athrun Zala, son of Patrick Zala, pride of ZAFT…the list could go on and on. Cagalli Yula Attha, the goddess of victory, ruler of Orb…that list could go on and on too. But the main question was, could these two be together without causing suffering for one another and those around them?

It wasn't just about a Natural and a Coordinator being together. And even that wasn't such a simply matter. In their case, it was their positions, their ideals, and their status in the eyes of the world that also contributed to conflict.

He knew that he need only ask, and Cagalli would not hesitate but join him in matrimony. But he also knew that even with the happiness, pain will also come. Could he, if he really loved her, put her through that?

And what…what about their children? Athrun couldn't help but blush at the thought of having children with Cagalli. But that matter aside, could he possibly put their children through what would be inevitable? Half-breeds…people would mock them, torture them, never letting them rest. And since they were neither, they would have only a few places to turn for comfort. He knew prejudice was inevitable, wherever you went, and whoever you were. But would they be able to cope?

A sudden idea came into his mind. He was going to have a talk with Arabella.

Chapter done XD

Ugh, people are going to hate me for what I did in this chapter…but it had to be done…what I could say though is that I feel sorry for all of them.

And yes, not much action going on here, but couldn't really help that.

Next chapter…well, all I'm going to say is that there are going to be more and more misunderstanding…(I REALLY feel sorry for them)

Oh, and does anyone know where I can get a free webpage that doesn't end up having mass amounts of pop ups, and is still pretty decent at the same time? Livejournal has been annoying me recently, so I've been thinking about moving all info and other things about my writing stuff to a webpage instead. I would love the input.

Oh and of course, thanks for reading XD.